Brother Jeff Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 The following comment was entered today in response to this post on my glorious site: "Brother Jeff, my researches have taught me that the so-called "bipolar disorder" is actually caused by demonic possession. The Lord Jesus healed all manner of ailments by casting demons out of the afflicted. I am a faith-healing exorcist and I can cast out the demons that currently rend you. Before I can do that, however, you must put away your scathing unbelief and make a public confession of Faith in God Almighty and His Healing Power. Let me help deliver you from the Power of the Pit. My rates are very reasonable to members of Our Holy Church." I'm sure this is meant as a joke (and it is humorous), but I think it's worthy of a serious response anyway. My detailed response is as follows: "Brother Jeff, my researches have taught me that the so-called "bipolar disorder" is actually caused by demonic possession." My research has taught me that Bipolar Disorder is actually a genetic condition, not something caused by evil spooks. "The Lord Jesus healed all manner of ailments by casting demons out of the afflicted." Then the "Lord Jesus" and the anonymous gospel authors who created him and wrote the biblical stories about him were ignorant of the fact that illness - whether mental or physical - is not caused by evil spooks. All illnesses have natural causes, not supernatural ones. "I am a faith-healing exorcist and I can cast out the demons that currently rend you." Demons don't exist, and none are currently rending me. "Before I can do that, however, you must put away your scathing unbelief and make a public confession of Faith in God Almighty and His Healing Power." What possible reason would I have for doing something so ridiculous and irrational? There is no evidence that a god of any sort actually exists to put faith in. I prefer reason and logic and demonstrable reality over blind faith, thank you. "Let me help deliver you from the Power of the Pit." No, thanks. Your superstitious services are not needed. Medicine, diet, and moderate exercise work quite well in controlling my illness. I was a Christian for 15 years of my life - before I was diagnosed. During that time, I was prayed for and "slain in the Spook" many times, but never healed, of course. I was told on more than one occasion that god was doing "spiritual surgery" on me. If your god is real and is so loving and powerful, then why was I never healed? "My rates are very reasonable to members of Our Holy Church." Uh-huh, your magical healing powers are available, for a price, of course. No thanks. I'm not interested in your alleged magical powers or your church. Thanks for making my day with your post! Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Whatever happened to "as you freely received, freely give?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 "My rates are reasonable..." Damn charlatans! Of course they can't cast out demons unless they get paid. That's why you never were healed Bro-J, you didn't pay the previous exorcists! I think the going rate according to the Bible is a gold coin or something... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 The only evil spooks are the ones who try to peddle exorcisms, no matter the fee. Good food, good living, and good sex work much better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Keesha Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Whatever happened to "as you freely received, freely give?" I'm sure the good healer would freely give treatment to Brother Jeff once he freely receives three or four thousand dollars to defray the costs of his "researches" into the habits of demons. Wrestling with the forces of darkness without getting burned takes tremendous skill. A clear distinction must be made between demons and "spooks." Spooks are the spirits of the dead allowed to roam the earth and haunt the living. They pose no real danger to anyone, although their ectoplasmic manifestations can be unsettling to those unaccustomed to witnessing them. Demons are another matter entirely. Fallen angels who do the devil's bidding, they are capable of doing great harm to anyone who comes in contact with them. Given the opportunity, they can enter the bodies of those who doubt and cause a vast array of physical and mental diseases. Bipolar disorders are typically caused when demons enter the body and erode all hope in God's promises. It certainly sounds like Jeff has given up hope in having a pleasant life in the hereafter. The faith healer wants to restore that lost hope. What could be wrong with that? Doctors charge hefty fees for their expertise. Why shouldn't faith healers? Demons are not "supernatural" creatures either. They are a part of the greater realm of nature that secular science has yet to uncover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhampir Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 You're really making the distinction regarding the word spook? 'Spook' is his word to describe anything supernatural, most specifically the holy ghost. Additionally, the word is a slang term, given to a number of different uses. And of course, demons aren't supernatural. Supernatural is impossible, and therefore there's nothing that is supernatural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted May 8, 2006 Author Share Posted May 8, 2006 This is Dr. Tucker's (the exorcist) latest comment. Now I'm sure the guy is a joker. lol... "I was definitely not joking when I offered my services to you, Brother Jeff. Wouldn't you rather undergo a thorough exorcism and be done with your nasty disorder for good than to have to worry about "managing" it for the rest of your life on earth? I know I would if I were in your shoes. God once tested my Faith by afflicting me with infertility and erectile dysfunction. When I proved myself faithful to Him, however, He healed me, called my barren wife home, and gave me a new wife twenty years my junior who is now pregnant with our third healthy child. I KNOW demons cause disease. I KNOW exorcism can heal them. I only want you to have this knowledge too. All you need give up is your unbelief -- and a small one-time, tax-deductible love offering of $5,995.50, which is payable in quarterly installments. Members of God's One True Church of Holy Assurance receive an automatic 10% discount." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 This is Dr. Tucker's (the exorcist) latest comment. Now I'm sure the guy is a joker. lol... "I was definitely not joking when I offered my services to you, Brother Jeff. Wouldn't you rather undergo a thorough exorcism and be done with your nasty disorder for good than to have to worry about "managing" it for the rest of your life on earth? I know I would if I were in your shoes. God once tested my Faith by afflicting me with infertility and erectile dysfunction. When I proved myself faithful to Him, however, He healed me, called my barren wife home, and gave me a new wife twenty years my junior who is now pregnant with our third healthy child. I KNOW demons cause disease. I KNOW exorcism can heal them. I only want you to have this knowledge too. All you need give up is your unbelief -- and a small one-time, tax-deductible love offering of $5,995.50, which is payable in quarterly installments. Members of God's One True Church of Holy Assurance receive an automatic 10% discount." Okay, hes a joker. lol Real deliverance pastors are pretty darn funny though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Brother Jeff, My research has told me that Dr. Thurgood Tucker is a longtime troll on Usenet named Max Varazslo. He has been entertaining the members of alt.politics.homosexuality for many years now. His church (which is listed in the San Francisco fictitious business listings) is called the First Universal Christian Kingdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Oh, and some of you may remember a couple of months ago he posted here as "Princess Keesha," complaining about my violation of their church copyright because I posted one of their Usenet posts to this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 The sad thing is about this whole thing is that there actually ARE some christians that DO believe such nonsense. It makes it terribly difficult for one that is dealing with these sort of problems to be mentally sound. What I am meaning is this: Some christians sects can actually CAUSE mental problems instead of getting rid of them. (not like they go away, under control, yes, with intervention of medicine) How would anyone like to be accused of having demons all the time??? That would certainly cause paranoia, that is for sure. There is this one lady that I used to associate with (when I was a fundie), she had problems mentally. Well, with all the demon talk and all that goes with it, she would call me or other friends as early as 3am to get rid of a demon that was under her bed trying to get her. it would make one MORE unstable than anything! Especially the types of churches that are against taking medicine. I fell for that as a fundie. I was put on medication for my anxiety and the minister convinced me I did not need them, that I was "healed". I found out later on (when I had my sense about me) that it was a way of control. Needless to say, I am not healed, but it is under control. But I feel for anyone that has mental problems being in a church like that....it only makes them worse. Especially when they believe they are healed just to have a relapse, then feeling guilty for having one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Keesha Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 There is this one lady that I used to associate with (when I was a Fundamentalist), she had problems mentally. Well, with all the demon talk and all that goes with it, she would call me or other friends as early as 3am to get rid of a demon that was under her bed trying to get her. Creatures that hide under beds are usually monsters from parallel universes, not demons. They can usually be banished if you speak to them in tongues. My son Hammurabi told me there was a monster under his bed once. I taught him to preach in Sacred Swahili and that little critter scampered away like a wild hare. Jesus as He actually appeared... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 Naw, this is Jesus as he actually appeared: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evelyn Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 My father suffered a nervous breakdown when I was six years old, spent two years in mental hospitals (this was in the 1960s) and suffered from depression the rest of his life, though he probably had it before his nervous breakdown. He was prayed over by lots of people, including faith healer Katherine Kuhlman. He didn't really get better, though fortunately he was able to function in the world most of the time. Damn right it's genetic! I've seen mental illness on both sides of my family, both historically and presently, like a cousin on my mother's side who still has ADD as an adult and who has two sons, one diagnosed psychotic at age 5 and the other with ADD. Two of my siblings had children and my sister has a son who is schizophrenic. The other nieces and nephews turned out okay, though one niece was hyper/ADD as a child and she has a daughter who has it, too. Her mother had it and so did my brother, though in a mild form, so this kid gets it from all sides. My hubby also had ADD as a child. Gee, for some reason, I didn't have children! I looked at all of this and said no way! Fortunately, my husband didn't want children, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted May 9, 2006 Share Posted May 9, 2006 Whatever happened to "as you freely received, freely give?" I'm sure the good healer would freely give treatment to Brother Jeff once he freely receives three or four thousand dollars to defray the costs of his "researches" into the habits of demons. Wrestling with the forces of darkness without getting burned takes tremendous skill. Hee hee hee...wrestling with nonexistant entities takes tremendous skill? More like tremendous acting skill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonwhatever Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 Speaking of fraudulent exorcisms, has anyone ever seen that evil devil himself Bob Larson? Now he really puts on a show. In fact, if you are even slightly gullible you would truly think that an exorcism against satan is taking place. While I never believed he was doing any such thing, it does appear like outstanding acting. He travels all over the country as a supposed "devil destroyer." lol That's odd, since a house divided against itself cannot stand. And it's obvious that his house is not holy, then what is it? I do believe that devils are real; I think that there is no other way to explain some of the evil people who are in the world. I have knows some people who I see as being nothing but completely deceitful and false....even their eyes look extremely evil and false. As for bipolar disorder, I think that it can be caused by devils and by genetics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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