Thought Came Up In Conversation:

[♦ nivek ♦]

Talking to a buddy who AFAIA "religious", don't now what kind, or how much he thinks he believes.

 

He asked me today "Why is it you don't ask a ton of questions about other people?"

 

This was in a response to a line of discussion/gossip about a family locally in his denomination/cult that was currently having "sudden onset nine-month flu" in several of the daughters at once...

Beastie came home last week and clued me into the gossip of several 8th and 9th graders in this family who are, ummm, well, doing as their pioneer foremothers did, start eary, drop a dozen little farmhands...

 

Thing is for me, as juicy and as exciting as things may sound and appear, the folks' business is none of mine unless they invite me in to it.

Then it is my decision to continue to partake in whatever happens after.

 

However I don't go about town with one eye on the people and an ear to keyholes listening for the tidbits and titilations.

 

For me being a *good neighbor* is leaving others alone best I can and not bother them with my bullshit. But.. the beeg_however, is to also expect same in return..

 

Guess what I'm asking is what in your world and circles of influence do you elect to do with the seeming unending flow of information from the people around you?

 

This mean_old_man preocesses the minimal amount, ignores and/or forgets the rest. Tries not to cause more problems for those with them.

 

kevinL

[Thurisaz]

For me being a *good neighbor* is leaving others alone best I can and not bother them with my bullshit.

 

I'm mostly the same Nivek.

 

Granted that I sometimes ask some questions of interest, but mostly (unless I know there won't be much of an opportunity for it) I tend to keep quiet in conversations, first waiting whether the answers I'd like to get will be provided by someone else anyway. I kind of hate being thought of as too nosy.

If that fails, if possible I won't just suddenly dive in on someone with "Hey, who are you? Where you're from? What's your hobbies?" et cetera, not to start a conversation that is. If talk has started anyway, it's another thing altogether. I prefer to start with an at least half-witty line, one that is (hopefully) a kind of pleasant surprise

[white_raven23]

Generally I stare. Completely befuddled as to why these people are telling me "whatever it is". Usually it dawns on me that they are merely attempting conversation.

 

But usually their idea of "gossip" is really nothing I usually find interesting. I'm not fascinated by underage pregnancy.....I consider it a damn shame, and I hope for the best in that instance. That's a hard road I've seen quite a few girls go down over the years.

 

Now when someone opts to tell me something that actually could be good to know.....like the mechanic over in the shop who is a serial rape suspect.....THAT I want to know about.

 

 

Occasionally I gripe about stupid people......but I reserve such conversation for my housemates.

 

I think what makes "gossip" interesting for a lot of folk has to to with the taboos and "road to damnation" stuff I pitched along with religion. Ever notice how most gossip is absent of sympathy for the person whose dirt is being aired? People percieved as "bad" are privately gawked at like circus sideshows.

 

Funny how the more "righteous" the person dishing out the "news"......the less empathy they seem to be capable of.

[Ouroboros]

I try to stay out of other peoples business as much as I can. Have too much junk to take care of in my own life anyway.

[Lycorth]

For me being a *good neighbor* is leaving others alone best I can and not bother them with my bullshit. But.. the beeg_however, is to also expect same in return..

 

Same here. I have better things to do than go around challenging everyone's beliefs or using my own as an excuse to start arguments. If someone asks what I believe, I tell them. If they don't ask, I don't, either.

 

"Live and let live" is how I try to go about my time on earth.

[Guest Emerson]

I'll ask people questions if I'm talking to them but like Hansolo, I try not to be a busybody. I'm not always interest in what other people do, and I don't appreciate unsolicited advice. So yeah like you nivek, I expect others to give me the same courtesy.

[Astreja]

I like to know a little about my neighbours, like their names and perhaps what they do for a living.

 

Beyond that, I don't have the patience or the interest to keep up with the myriad soap operas in everyone's lives. No matter what they've done, chances are they still can't out-weird me.

[greygirl]

I must be in the minority here. If there's something going on, I want the scoop. I hate being out of the loop. I hate it when other people know something and I don't. I think it's leftover from my early years as a social outcast/nerd. I was always out of the loop then, because no one talked to me or confided in me at all. I take it as a vote of confidence when someone trusts me with their dirty laundry.

 

Of course, I'm an information hoarder. I want it, but then I won't let it go. I keep everything in the strictest confidence. I want to *know*, not tell.

[StrawberrySundae]

I am in the minority with you, greygirl! I have always had a desperate curiosity about everything and everyone. I don't talk about people behind their back at all, but when I do meet someone new, I want to know EVERYTHING! Especially what motivates them, or has motivated them, etc. I think that goes a long way to understanding why I got my degree in psych, I just wanted to pick peoples brains apart all the time, see what makes them tick, etc. Of course, it is also that curiosity and drive to understand motivation and reasoning that got me called a blasphemous sinner in church, so I can't say its such a bad thing...