My Personal Ideas To Live By

[KT45]

Now that I'm not a christian anymore I find myself back on the personal discovery for how to live life. Back when I was a christian I wrote out everything that I wanted to live by and meditated on that. Now my views about morals have changed. I'm trying to make a new list. I haven’t read any philosophy or moral books just yet and I probably need to. But maybe my current ideas on life will point me in the right direction. I would just like a list of morals, values or ethics to meditate on from time to time. Is this list a good start? In going through this list I try to ask myself are these realistic, will these lead to a happier life, can I make these more simpler, am I missing any other aspects of life, and can a person possess all these qualities and still not be considered a good person? Thanks

 

Relationships

•Be self sacrificing. Remember to put others before yourself without losing you own self worth. You should, out of the goodness in your heart, try to; give time, friendship, care, help, energy, food, money, advise, clothing or anything to those in need. Just be sure that whatever you give it is something that the person is ready to handle

•You shouldn’t care if people think negatively of you. What people think of you is none of your business

•You can’t please everyone, so don’t try.

•Unless you are willing to say something to someone’s face don’t say it. There is no point in being a gossip and a coward.

•The greatest love one can give is to give his life for a friend

 

Intimate Relationships

•In any type of intimate relationship you get into you should always be a challenge. Remember to keep teasing, flirting and being spontaneous.

•Don’t be a slave to sexual desires. In other words don’t let sex be the leading thought in life or when you are around the opposite sex.

•Don’t wait for someone to come and complete you. You must be complete in yourself.

•It’s easy to want to give away any self respect you have away in a relationship. You should keep yourself dignity.

•Whatever kind of relationship you choose for yourself, whether it be open or closed be sure to communicate. Know the goals of the relationship while taking into consideration the feelings of your partner.

 

Happiness

•The best you can do is to respect yourself. Whether others respect you or not is non of your concern

•Try impressing yourself rather than impressing others. Don’t go around trying to impress others so you won’t rely on their praise.

•Don’t be a slave to image or how people perceive you.

•Be humble. Try to not act better or be boastful. What make you better than another?

•Tomorrow is not promised and yesterday has past. So live in the moment.

•It’s okay to have dreams. But they are meaningless without action

•While you are following your dreams it is too your advantage to avoid things that will hinder your dream i.e. relationships and children. If you do have these things then you should take responsibility of how following your dreams will harm the lives of others.

•It’s always great to learn how to be funny. Bringing smiles to others makes life better. Just remember not to make yourself into a fool while doing so.

•Don’t hold onto past grudges. Be quick to forgive (this doesn’t mean you automatically trust them again but will allow chance for them to gain your trust again)

 

Functioning in Society

•Ask will if this action would infringe on a person's freedom or natural rights

•Gain wisdom from those who have already gained knowledge in the area you seek to better yourself in

 

Other

•Don’t let yourself be threatened by things like power or beauty. Keep dignity and composure at all times.

•Don’t do anything in excess. Too much of anything, even a good thing can be harmful.

•Don’t become a slave to material possessions. You should be able to have a good life with or without them. (The things you own end up owning you)

•There are consequences to everything. There is no absolute good or bad, only shades of grey. Take all consequences into consideration when making decisions.

•Over time try to improve each of the following. Mental (negative and education), Physically (how well your body functions), Spiritually (being at peace with yourself)

•If there is something you don’t like about yourself fix it. If you don’t like how you dress ask someone to help you. If you don’t like your attitude adjust it over time. Just realize a few things. That it can take time, perfection will never be reached and that it you shouldn’t obsess over it. Don’t let emotional turmoil be the reason you want to change and never change yourself to fit the image of what others want you to be. (modify)

•Allow all thoughts, perceptions and feelings about people and life to evolve over time. Trial and error are the best methods

•Fears that stand in the way of what you desire to accomplish should be conquered

 

 

I still need ideas concerning judging people, how to choose friends or whatever anyone else can think of.

[ped]

why do you need rules to live by. just dont be a dick and be mindful, dont trust too many people, and look to your death to teach you how to live.

those are all wise words, but it seems you are hung up on games (roles, rules, regulation, tradition, rituals). be dynamic.

anyway those are my philosophies.....

[Dra_Mucd_Uha]

Coming from someone who is very big into having personal morals and philosphies, I think what you have here is great. It all sounds good to me.

 

However, as you yourself said,

 

If there is something you don’t like about yourself fix it. If you don’t like how you dress ask someone to help you. If you don’t like your attitude adjust it over time. Just realize a few things. That it can take time, perfection will never be reached and that it you shouldn’t obsess over it. Don’t let emotional turmoil be the reason you want to change and never change yourself to fit the image of what others want you to be. (modify)

I understand personal morals are important, but there is no need to worry a whole lot about them. You don't have to make a list or anything. Just live your life and take whatever comes at you at face value. You may make a few mistakes, but so does everyone else. While the morals you wrote here are great, they will have more effect inside your head than on a piece of paper (or computer screen). Sometimes experience can implant the importance of a certain moral far more effective than writing it can.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry too much about what your morals will be, just go out and live your life. I think it's great you are still keeping morals. I personally believe a life led with certain morals improve ones life. I have personal morals as well, many are just like yours (you can't make everyone happy was the big one for me to learn).

 

Hope it works out for you,

-Dra Mucd Uha

[KT45]

why do you need rules to live by. just dont be a dick and be mindful, dont trust too many people, and look to your death to teach you how to live.

those are all wise words, but it seems you are hung up on games (roles, rules, regulation, tradition, rituals). be dynamic.

anyway those are my philosophies.....

It's just the way I think about things. For me I need to be constantly reminded of my particular path or i fear I might lose it. These are all just constant reminders.

 

 

Just for laughs here's a quote from Team America: World Police to your comment on don't be a dick.

"See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes,..... And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!"

[KT45]

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry too much about what your morals will be, just go out and live your life. I think it's great you are still keeping morals. I personally believe a life led with certain morals improve ones life. I have personal morals as well, many are just like yours (you can't make everyone happy was the big one for me to learn).

 

Hope it works out for you,

-Dra Mucd Uha

 

I really appreciate your input. I'm still holding on to some of the many habits I had in christianity. But there was a benefit to having a book with a list of values and morals to read and meditate on. When ever I was in a questionable situation usually without thinking the answer to what I should do popped into my head (whether I wanted it to or not). But I learned this kept me on the path I needed to follow. I've been living this way for a while and now the path is different and probably a little bit harder. So having these list of values can be helpful in a way. I may not pray anymore but I do meditate and I know it can be valuable. But I'm seriously thinking about your advice.

[ped]

It's just the way I think about things. For me I need to be constantly reminded of my particular path or i fear I might lose it. These are all just constant reminders.

 

thats cool whatever works for ya!

[notasheep]

I think I'm generally in agreement with the rest of these comments. And your own buddha quote, so feel free to ignore me if this sounds stupid. Basically, I think you need to embrace your unbelief and not take it quite so seriously. There's no Judge waiting to Damn you if you make a mistake. Your list is pretty good (I might quibble on a couple points, but who am I?), but it kind of seems like you're trying too hard to be "perfect". Relax a little. Enjoy life.

[willybilly30]

finding yourself and what you believe is a great idea. but if i was to give you more morals or beliefs that would defeat the purpose. you would be following me instead of yourself. be your own teacher be your own follower listen to yourself and the world around you it will teach you. sounds like you are off to a really good start.

[KT45]

I think I'll stop. I'm think I'm still trying to be a saint or be perfect. I'll try to get over this though.

[Asimov]

 

Relationships

•Be self sacrificing. Remember to put others before yourself without losing you own self worth. You should, out of the goodness in your heart, try to; give time, friendship, care, help, energy, food, money, advise, clothing or anything to those in need. Just be sure that whatever you give it is something that the person is ready to handle.

 

Why? My heart is neither good nor evil. Why should I denote my time and effort to those in need? I shouldn't feel obligated to help everyone, that's just another word for slavery.

 

•You shouldn’t care if people think negatively of you. What people think of you is none of your business

 

Of course it is, how else do people change if their outward treatment of others is terrible? You tell them not to care what people think of you, and then they go on being assholes or promiscuous, alcoholics, drug addicted, or even overtly-religious. Nobody grows if nobody is criticized.

 

•Unless you are willing to say something to someone’s face don’t say it. There is no point in being a gossip and a coward.

 

Sometimes what is said behind someones back is not for that person to hear because they are words spoken in anger. If I rant in a pm about someone to a friend of mine, I'm doing it to vent frustrations. Even if I respect that person, I'm not going to be overly open about how I feel every moment of the day.

•The greatest love one can give is to give his life for a friend

 

Fuck that, how the hell is that a show of love? I think that's fanatical bullshit. Hey Shiva, I'm going to kill myself to show you how much I love you.

 

Intimate Relationships

•In any type of intimate relationship you get into you should always be a challenge. Remember to keep teasing, flirting and being spontaneous.

•Don’t be a slave to sexual desires. In other words don’t let sex be the leading thought in life or when you are around the opposite sex.

 

Challenging isn't always a good thing. Sometimes all we need is some part of our lives that is simple and easy to do. My hormones control how often I think about sex, I can't help it. Dont' try to tell people to suppress their sexuality.

 

Happiness

•The best you can do is to respect yourself. Whether others respect you or not is non of your concern

 

Of course it is. We're not a bunch of hermits, we live together in a society and function together. First you say communicating is important, then you go around saying "don't care what other people think" or "don't care if they respect you or not". Glaring contradiciton.

 

•Be humble. Try to not act better or be boastful. What make you better than another?

 

Fuck that, I am better than a lot of people. I'm smarter, more physically capable, attractive, helpful, friendly (yes, really), eager to teach and learn, open minded and assertive. Anyone who contains none of those qualities is not better than me.

 

No one is the same, this communistic ideal is silly. Some people are better than others, that's how nature works.

 

•Tomorrow is not promised and yesterday has past. So live in the moment.

 

Do a little bit of everything.

 

•Don’t hold onto past grudges. Be quick to forgive (this doesn’t mean you automatically trust them again but will allow chance for them to gain your trust again)

 

Not everyone deserves your forgiveness or trust. If someone tried to kill me, they will never be forgiven. I'm not going to dwell on it, they just do not have my forgiveness.

 

Functioning in Society

•Ask will if this action would infringe on a person's freedom or natural rights

•Gain wisdom from those who have already gained knowledge in the area you seek to better yourself in

 

And what are those freedoms and natural rights?

Other

•Don’t become a slave to material possessions. You should be able to have a good life with or without them. (The things you own end up owning you)

 

Thanks Tyler Durden....

 

•There are consequences to everything. There is no absolute good or bad, only shades of grey. Take all consequences into consideration when making decisions.

 

There is absolute bad based on how we define actions. Actions that are mala in se are absolutely bad in all situations. It is impossible to take into consideration every possible consequence. Over-analyzation leads to paranoia.

[StrawberrySundae]

I don't think you should be looking for validation from anyone about your morals and values, I think it kind of defeats the purpose! I can relate to a lot of what you say. I am the 'what am I if I am not my word' type person, morals and integrity are very important to me. I am also very much a tactile person, so I write down EVERYTHING.

 

The only advice I can offer is to just keep this fluid and be open to change. Live with this for a while, see how it works, change what needs to be changed. Be open to continual learning experiences and growth, and you will be fine!

[KT45]

•Don’t become a slave to material possessions. You should be able to have a good life with or without them. (The things you own end up owning you)

 

Thanks Tyler Durden....

 

I think there is a little tyler Durden in each of us LOL

 

Asimov do you have any reading material you recommend on morals, ethics etc?

[Padreko]

If you want to start understanding ethics and meta ethics you might start with wikipedia... But as far as reading material goes there is a ton of stuff you can read.. I don't think there is one book that specifically covers it all.. Major in philosophy lol...

[Dhampir]

GODDAMNIT, Asshatimov, ya beat me to it!!! I'm gonna do it anyway, so fuck you, even though you probably didn't do it on purpose just to spite me.

Relationships

•Be self sacrificing. Remember to put others before yourself without losing you own self worth. You should, out of the goodness in your heart, try to; give time, friendship, care, help, energy, food, money, advise, clothing or anything to those in need. Just be sure that whatever you give it is something that the person is ready to handle

•You shouldn’t care if people think negatively of you. What people think of you is none of your business

•You can’t please everyone, so don’t try.

•Unless you are willing to say something to someone’s face don’t say it. There is no point in being a gossip and a coward.

•The greatest love one can give is to give his life for a friend

I only really agree with point 3 of this.

1. Rather than be self sacrificing, one should want to be benevolently self-serving. True altruism is just as bad for individuals as extreme greed is for the community at large. Put yourself first, to the extent that it doesn't stop you from considering friends and family to the extent that you are willing to put yourself out for them. Look out for you, being confident in the knowledge that just about everyone else will do the same. It seems to have balanced itself out pretty well thus far.

 

2. What actions can people's negative thoughts render? That is the criteria by which you should pay heed to people disliking you.

 

4. It depends upon what it can benefit you whether or not to say something to someone's face. It's not a matter of balls but intelligence: Are you gonna say that 6'4" 280lb musclehead that's pushing everybody around is a jerk to his face? LIkewise, sometimes, opening up to people affects positive change.

 

5. Maybe, but what does it avail you to give your only life for anyone but your offspring?

 

Intimate relationships

•Don’t be a slave to sexual desires. In other words don’t let sex be the leading thought in life or when you are around the opposite sex.

I don't have much to say to the rest, it actually looks good to me.

 

The point in quotes, though: Sex is the sole reason we give a damn about the opposite sex, or the same sex if you swing that way.

 

Functioning in Society:

I'm good with this one.

Happiness

•The best you can do is to respect yourself. Whether others respect you or not is non of your concern

•Try impressing yourself rather than impressing others. Don’t go around trying to impress others so you won’t rely on their praise.

•Don’t be a slave to image or how people perceive you.

•Be humble. Try to not act better or be boastful. What make you better than another?

•Tomorrow is not promised and yesterday has past. So live in the moment.

•It’s okay to have dreams. But they are meaningless without action

•While you are following your dreams it is too your advantage to avoid things that will hinder your dream i.e. relationships and children. If you do have these things then you should take responsibility of how following your dreams will harm the lives of others.

•It’s always great to learn how to be funny. Bringing smiles to others makes life better. Just remember not to make yourself into a fool while doing so.

•Don’t hold onto past grudges. Be quick to forgive (this doesn’t mean you automatically trust them again but will allow chance for them to gain your trust again)

2. Impress whoever it avails you to impress.

3. How people percieve you is directly tied to they interact with you. What you want tends to influence how you try to make others percieve you.

4. Fuck humility. Be accurate. Not necessarily boastful, but accurate. If it's true, it ain't a lie, ya'mean?

6. Some dreams are meaningless.

8. If you're funny, run with it. If not, fuck it. If you like making an ass of yourself, so be it.

9. Forgiveness is a utility, not a virtue. Why forgive someone who will never be repentant? Use forgiveness with predjudice.

Other:

Actually I don't really disagree with much here.

 

 

My thinking? You are still held by societal adages, which have generally gone un-verified over the years. My advice: Drop everything you've ever accepted about the nature of societal interaction, and pick up those things that still work in the world you've been observing, and leave everything else on the floor. Develop new ideas as well based on those observations that fit as well as possible with the way things actually work. You don't need no stinkin' philosophy books to do that.

 

There's probably so much that I forgot to put in here, but fuck it, this'll do for now.

[KT45]

•You shouldn’t care if people think negatively of you. What people think of you is none of your business

 

Of course it is, how else do people change if their outward treatment of others is terrible? You tell them not to care what people think of you, and then they go on being assholes or promiscuous, alcoholics, drug addicted, or even overtly-religious. Nobody grows if nobody is criticized.

For me personally I usually put way too much value and concern into what people might think of me. Sometimes I wouldn't ask a girl out because I was concern she would think negatively of me. Sometimes I would not open my mouth to speak my mind cause I feared what people would say about me. Caring if people will think negatively of me has held me back for so long. Well fuck people. I don't care what people think of me anymore. If someone has something constructive criticism I MIGHT take it into consideration. People can talk badly about me all they want but it's a waste of my time to dwell on it.

 

•Unless you are willing to say something to someone’s face don’t say it. There is no point in being a gossip and a coward.

 

Sometimes what is said behind someones back is not for that person to hear because they are words spoken in anger. If I rant in a pm about someone to a friend of mine, I'm doing it to vent frustrations. Even if I respect that person, I'm not going to be overly open about how I feel every moment of the day.

To me it's a waste of my time to talk about or even concentrate on the acts of another. Whether I'm angry or mad at someone is no excuse to spout off my feelings about them to another. To solve problems it's best to keep feelings of anger or resentment to myself rather than ruining someones name to make yourself feel better.

 

Happiness

•The best you can do is to respect yourself. Whether others respect you or not is non of your concern

 

Of course it is. We're not a bunch of hermits, we live together in a society and function together. First you say communicating is important, then you go around saying "don't care what other people think" or "don't care if they respect you or not". Glaring contradiciton.

Whether someone thinks bad of me or whether someone doesn't respect is something i won't concern myself with. I'm sure many people don't like me or care about me, even my friends. I won't let thoughts about it ruin or control my life and thinking.

 

•Be humble. Try to not act better or be boastful. What make you better than another?

 

Fuck that, I am better than a lot of people. I'm smarter, more physically capable, attractive, helpful, friendly (yes, really), eager to teach and learn, open minded and assertive. Anyone who contains none of those qualities is not better than me.

I will not be boastful. Boasting is just me trying to feed my insecurities.

 

No one is the same, this communistic ideal is silly. Some people are better than others, that's how nature works.

I'm not completely better than any man. No man is the same and no man is equal but I won't put myself on some pedestal assuming I'm greater than they.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Taylor, let me in toduce you to the "100 Pound Hammer School of Philosphy".

 

"Don't pick the son of a bitch up unless you intend to swing it.

 

For good or bad, whatever action(s) you elect to do with it is your choice.

 

Be honest your *code* confuses the living fuck out of me. Eithe when faced with something you act or react. If you don't have your mind made up as to what you might do for that situation yer simply fucked.

 

Not talking about "First Contact" with aliens or of talking sea going monsters, but daily situations and events that can be planned for.

 

There is the Rotties School of thought which reads as:

 

What I can't eat, drink or piss on, fuck..

 

Not saying you need to be like a big ole dawg, but when you simplify from amyriad of steps to blocks of information that can be used in many situations you'll be more flexible and better off.

 

The sectarians have lists of what constitutes *right*, be damnned if I'd exchange one list for another set of finely crafted shackles. No matter how pretty they seem now..

 

k, Freeman by choice and practice, L