pandora Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 This is a somewhat long story... I had a best friend throughout middle and highschool. She went to college and I went to college. I got a liberal arts degree and went to pharmacy school. She went straight into nursing. We both got engaged. By then, our views were very different on lots of things, including religion, but we were still really good friends. She asks me to be her maid of honor. I'm thrilled. I do the same for her. She's thrilled. Six months down the road, she fires me because I am doubting Christianity. It really broke up our friendship. We have been trying to mend it off and on over the past two years, but it isn't working. Pharmacy school didn't work out (long story, but I wasted five years of my life in that program, I only have two years left in the program), so I decide nursing would be a quick easy way to get my degree and start making money. She's a nurse. I call her just to ask a few questions... maybe she's grown up a bit. Nope. I'm being shunned, her husband just told me via IM. That's why she didn't answer my 12 messages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dibby Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Sorry to hear that Pandora. At least you were willing to keep things open from your side. It's funny how christians make such a big point of god giving us free will, but when we use it to think our own thoughts they get all wierd with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted May 12, 2006 Author Share Posted May 12, 2006 This is so frustrating. I'm still talking to her husband. It turns out that she is also shunning me because I pissed her off royally the last time we met. She won't tell me what happened. She won't talk to me except through her husband. This is so psycho! I don't need this drama, I just want to ask her about a professor at the university she went to!!! GODDAMN... I hope I didn't cause this much drama when I was a Christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 pandora, if there is one single thing that keeps me from believing in the god of the bible, it is the actions and attitudes of his followers. Christians have a tendency to treat their friends worse than they treat their enemies. I can't think of any advice for you other than to just move on. You can't make someone love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted May 12, 2006 Author Share Posted May 12, 2006 I don't care, really... I don't want her as a friend, honest to gawd. I just wanted to ask her one damn question. I didn't expect all this shit. But yeah, it amazes me how "Christian" I am sure she thinks her actions are. She doesn't even know about my personal struggles the past few years (unless a loudmouth mutual friend of ours told her). She has no heart, as far as I can tell. I told her I was really sorry that I hurt her, I had no idea idea what I did, and that I've had a lot of personal problems nonstop over the past four years. She basically said "it's always about your personal problems." I wanted to ask her if she even cared what I might have been going through, but I didn't. I just repeated that I was truly sorry, that a lot of things have changed for me now, and I just wanted to ask her a question. It ended rather abruptly with a "Jack and I don't even feel for you anymore. We don't care about you. Quit trying to be our friend." Too bad all I did was ask a question about a professor, I was polite and asked her how she was, but that was all! How is that trying to be her friend? Plus, to consciously shun me means she still has something going on inside her... I honestly haven't thought about her seriously for over a year until this nursing thing came up. Now all the old hurts and emotions are back. Christians suck. ] Didi I mention that she's not only a Christian, but a fundyvelical? We were not so conservative in high school, but she got a new best friend just before her wedding that convinced her she needed to fire me and hire her. That was the beginning of the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted May 12, 2006 Author Share Posted May 12, 2006 Yeah, thanks. I wouldn't dare cause drama for her by contacting her pastor! ROFL That sounds like something she would do! :roflmao: I'm going to try to forget, but this whole exchange kinda made it hurt a little bit for a while. We had great times as best friends, and I haven't found anyone as close besides my husband. I have no girlfriends. The closest one I have, well, I see her about once a month and talk to her maybe twice. Bah. She is nuts, I must say. I guess I am just as nuts for wishing the friendship never went sour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedah Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 In situations like this I just walk away from it. If someone would pick a dillusion over friendship, then they are a moron. Why does her opinion or answer to your question matter to you so much ? Its not like she actually has anything logical to say. If I were you, I would just pretend I never met her and get a move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isis Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 I agree you should write her off. I had a similiar thing happened to me few years ago. My best friend from all the way back in middle school freaked out when I told her about my doubts. I have not talked to her for almost 2 years now. It is a shame but it is not worth it. In our last talk I was told that I was terrorist ... No really that is what she actually said. She just went nuts. If you can't get any information on your professor from her, you should try ratemyprofessor.com. It does not give a lot of information on professors but if you scroll down to the commits you can get info from ex-students. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted May 12, 2006 Author Share Posted May 12, 2006 Oh yeah, I forgot about that site! Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 It could actually be worse. She could accept the contact, give you help with the professor, and then expect you to return the favor and listen to her Christian drivel. You might get bombarded with sappy Christian emails. You might even get Chick tracts in the mail. Yes, maybe the way it turned out was for the better. Though I'm sure that doesn't make it feel any better. Did you try doing searches for this professor on the internet? You never know what you might turn up in a random blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexandrian Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 To a "True Christian", you're worthless. Any human is worthless. The only thing that matters is your relationship with God. If your relationship with God is aided by a relationship with another person, that's great. But if someone is judged to be bad or bringing darkness into your life, that person is out the Curb... Feel the love... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Emerson Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Don't take this abusive bull Pandora. Your "friend" sounds really immature and is using her xtianity as an excuse. Don't stay friends with her because of how long you've been friends, sometimes friendship history does need to be forgotten. I suggest that you get yourself out there and start making new friends and dump this chick. Xtians are the worst people to be around, and why is she talking to you through her husband? That's like so third grade. She needs to get over herself, what a biotch. You deserve better friends Pandora, this chick is totally selfish, immature, hurtful and stupid. I wish you the best girly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosa Mystica Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 With friends like this, who needs enemies? You don't need her, Pandora. Like the others say, she is an immature person who is using her religion as an excuse to make herself look better than you. That, IMO, is pathetic behaviour. Stick with those who accept you for you. Sorry you have to endure such shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 She only looks better than me in her own eyes... heh heh I'm not good at making girl friends. I've always had pretty close guy friends, but now that I'm married, not so much. I am going out with my other friend tonight... she's graduating today (with a Doctor of Pharmacy... I'm so happy and at the same time, a little jealous because of my own little issues with the pharmacy school). She's been through so much and somehow she didn't let it affect her school. She works nearly 30 hours per week and has a son (even during her full time rotations!!). The father of her child died in a horrific accident two days after she told him she was pregnant. She lived with the kid's grandmother in a worse area of town than I lived in, and the grandma wasn't very supportive. It did take her 10 years to complete it (as it would me if they let me finish), but she did it! I am really very happy for her, she's an inspiration to me. Now she's going to move to Southern Indiana for a job there, probably... urgh. College sucks because all the friends you make move away. Anyway, I'm pretty much over my other friend now, but I was really depressed yesterday over it. PMS didn't help. About her talking through her husband... whenever something stressful comes up, that is how she has operated. It's very immature, but I think she thinks she needs him to run interference and to "protect" her from evil me. When I told my husband, he laughed heartily. He helped me see the humor and ridiculousness of it all. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to walk today at graduation too.... for my religious studies bachelors... but I am not going to. I have too much resentment towards Butler and I'm afraid I'd do something stupid or just cry uncontrolably the whole time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 In situations like this I just walk away from it. If someone would pick a dillusion over friendship, then they are a moron. Why does her opinion or answer to your question matter to you so much ? Its not like she actually has anything logical to say. If I were you, I would just pretend I never met her and get a move on. I agree. It can be extremely hard to move on, but you will find other friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Emerson Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Pandy, I suggest that you get yourself out there and try to befriend people. If one person doesn't work then move to another, friendship like dating is a numbers game. Practice makes perfect, just try saying hi to someone in the restroom. Sometimes you will have to be the first person to go up to someone and say hi, a lot of people are very shy about being leaders and saying hi first and starting friendships and speaking up, so I find myself having to be the first to speak up and approach people. I really find myself pursuing a lot of friendships, but once you get going then friendship is a two-way street, if they dont' respond then move on honey. Don't be scared, go out there and let me just say that life's worth living with friends in the picture. Its much more fun and less lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts