Tyson Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I attended a Pentecostal/Holiness type church that encouraged marriage and NO divorce. These two ideas were a match made in heaven (and I mean that in a VERY bad way). The minute you started dating, there would be little subtle encouragement from the "elders" to get married ESPECIALLY if you had a younger sibling who had the courage to slap on the ol' ball and chain. There was a subtle idea in their minds that you could not be 18, 19, 23, 28, dating for more than 6 months and NOT tapping some ass/pipe and because you knew this, you buckled under the pressure to prove to them you could do the right thing because we all know that "sex before marriage" was wrong. For this reason, many of my peers got caught up in the marriage frenzy and tied the knot as early as 19 and today, 20 years later, many of them are living in terrible regret and this has been the case since week 2, year two, decade one of their marriage(s). Now of course they are trapped. They believe in the church and sincerely believe that you CANNOT divorce because "God hates divorce" so they plod on, seeking the face of God to help them rectify ther problems while in the meantime having children because "Children are a gift from the Lord" and in "faith" investing more and more in the marriage ensuring they are in deep, tied down and handcuffed. What some have done is actually leave that church for a more liberal church that is a little more lax on the divorce issue and then gotten divorces because the same bible that they once believed claimed they could not divorce with God's approval is now the same bible that has some loopholes to excuse it. There are a few others I know who just told everyone to "F off" and kicked their faith to the curb and gotten a real life and started over again, being honest with their spouse and just stopped the charade, but now children and tied up investments are involved. The generation before ours had a bunch of "unequally yoked" marriages (in terms of age differences) and thus a buch of secret affairs. Churches tend to have far more women than men so the generation before ours had a lot of old hags (in such conservative churches "haggism" starts at about age 30 for females), but the guys were often 10 years younger, products of being "raised in the church." Now, they were discouraged to find girlfriends in other churches (because they often wore makeup and jewelry and this church saw that as sin) so most often they settled for the older women. Of course, these 30 year old church females age 5.75 years every year so here we now have 30 year old verile young men with 45 year old wives going throgh menopause and other insecurity issues. You of course know what this meant. Anyone else here who are ex Christians that went through this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Emerson Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Um I find your post highly disturbing. How would you react if I said that 30 year old guys age 5.75 years. and yeah in the end the church isn't god, even outside pentecostal churches its encouraged for young people to get married young, especially the xians. I didn't want to get married at 18, and seeing all the folks at church and how they are miserable convinced me to run from xianity and xian guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xrayman7040 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I knocked up my girlfriend and did a courthouse quickie. They took $10 and after about four mintutes of a wedding we were out the door. Despite the lack of pomp and circimstance and blessings from Gawwwd, we are still happily married 16 years later. I know a few Catholics who had the huge church affairs becacuse of pressue and now they are sinfully divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 It amazes me how certain conservative ideals evolve into religion. You're right, there's nothing in the Bible that says, "You must marry young" or "All must be wed". In fact, doesn't it say that it's actually better NOT to get married? And yet still, the folks up at God's House still get all worked up when I say I'm really a loner and I doubt I'll ever get married. "Well then, what will you do? Who will you spend your life with?" Same old, same old. "What if you get pregnant?" I've heard it all a million times before. It doesn't even seem to be so much a religious thing as something they believe in religiously: Women need men to take care of them. Women need children to raise. Etc. etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 It amazes me how certain conservative ideals evolve into religion. You're right, there's nothing in the Bible that says, "You must marry young" or "All must be wed". In fact, doesn't it say that it's actually better NOT to get married? Indeed; Xianity is an anti-sexuality, anti-procreation cult. It teaches that virginity and celibacy is the highest ideal, and an ascetic life serving the Xian god is infinitely preferable to married life. I can only imagine some bitter asshole who had a few shit relationships probably is behind this. Some jerk picked up on the Eastern concern with celibacy and the overall impurity of sexuality and hyped it up into the Xian "sexophobia" we see in the NT. Paul himself chirps on endlessly about how good it is to never have sex and be a virgin for the sake of his god Marriage is an ancient human tradition, found in virtually all human cultures. It is basically an oath of love and fidelity taken between a couple to inaugurate their new life together. No god has anything to do with it, unless there are gods who try to subtly encourage the overall concept of the oath, which is what a marriage basically is. Marriage is sacred because it is a kind of oath, not because Jeezus wants us all to get married before we pop out little Xian zombies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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