Santa Myth And It's Affects On The Developing Brain

[AtheistMommy]

Myths in general aren't a good idea. There is a fine line between pretending and believing in things that aren't real and full of magic. Parents often make mistakes and most don't take into consideration that there is a critical time for brain development that will result in what kind of adult your child will be.

 

Could the Santa myth have shaped you? Please tell us your experience. How did you find out about Santa (if you remember) and how did your parents tell you he didn't really exist? What did you feel after? Did it change the way you looked at xmas?

 

Thank you for your answers, I appreciate it.

[StrawberrySundae]

Maybe you can add a spot for people like myself with hardcore fundy parents, who were never allowed to believe in santa?

[AtheistMommy]

Maybe you can add a spot for people like myself with hardcore fundy parents, who were never allowed to believe in santa?

 

I'm so sorry, I forgot about that. And I can't edit. What was your experience with that? Did it affect you?

[StrawberrySundae]

Yes it did. I talked about it a bit in the other santa thread.

 

It affected me b/c when I was being told that santa, easter bunny, etc were bad b/c it took away from worshipping god, in my head I was thinking, I am not so stupid as to confuse the difference between make believe and god. I couldn't decide if my parents thought I was that stupid, which was insulting, or if they were that stupid, which was embarassing and made me distrust their judgement. So from a very young age, any time they tried to talk to me about anything philosophical, religious, etc, I immediately tuned them out, assuming they were clueless. Which it turns out, they were.

 

It's ok about the poll tho, I imagine I am in a very small minority!

[The Sage Nabooru]

Out of all the things to get.....

 

Oh well, I voted.

[Asimov]

I don't remember how I felt about Santa not being real....I don't even remember believing in Santa so I can't say.

[AtheistMommy]

I don't remember how I felt about Santa not being real....I don't even remember believing in Santa so I can't say.

 

Does this just mean that your parents didn't make that big of a deal about Santa?

 

Yes it did. I talked about it a bit in the other santa thread.

 

It affected me b/c when I was being told that santa, easter bunny, etc were bad b/c it took away from worshipping god, in my head I was thinking, I am not so stupid as to confuse the difference between make believe and god. I couldn't decide if my parents thought I was that stupid, which was insulting, or if they were that stupid, which was embarassing and made me distrust their judgement. So from a very young age, any time they tried to talk to me about anything philosophical, religious, etc, I immediately tuned them out, assuming they were clueless. Which it turns out, they were.

 

It's ok about the poll tho, I imagine I am in a very small minority!

 

How many religious groups are against the santa myth? I can only think of one. But this is the exact reason why I don't ban religious holidays. I don't want my children to feel it's wrong to celebrate. IMO, all holidays are days for family. We get together and we enjoy each others company. This is what I teach my two little monsters.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

[Dhampir]

Wanna know what really got me? Tooth Fairy. I just couldn't believe my parents were the ones putting change under my pillow. Once I could've sworn I stayed awake till I found the money to make sure it wasn't them, but I probably had one of those dreams where you think you didn't go to sleep. For years I believed that I would see the tooth fairy personally once I had children of my own.

 

Wanna know what really got me? Tooth Fairy. I just couldn't believe my parents were the ones putting change under my pillow. Once I could've sworn I stayed awake till I found the money to make sure it wasn't them, but I probably had one of those dreams where you think you didn't go to sleep. For years I believed that I would see the tooth fairy personally once I had children of my own.

[The Sage Nabooru]

I probably had one of those dreams where you think you didn't go to sleep.

 

I have problems with that to this day. Some of my childhood memories have proved to be most likely my more mundane dreams. I'll say, "Do you remember that time we went over to Grandma's house and I lost my shoe underneath the ivy she had growing in that planter that circled the oak tree?" Family: "Oh, you must've dreamed that."

 

How many religious groups are against the santa myth?

 

Hmm. Well, I was brought up in the more conservative faction of the Lutheran church, and Santa was perfectly acceptable as far as my church was concerned; we'd color little pictures of him in Sunday school and things like that. However, they made it very clear to us kids that the holiday was about Jesus, not Santa; they did enforce a minor role for him. I do remember kids that believed in Santa Claus in religious school, but I can't remember the school or church ever taking a particular stand on his existence. Maybe it did; I don't know.

[Guest Devil's Due]

You know, I was a disgustingly considerate child for no reason. There was never a moment when my parents told me. I figured out pretty young that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were my parents, but we never discussed it. I actually made a point to pretend that I still believed, because I didn't want to hurt their feelings! They were trying so hard to be sneaky with stacking presents or hiding eggs and such. I guess I thought of it as more fun for them to keep magic in my life than fun for me.

 

I was a weird kid.

 

And to this day, I will eat the disgusting toasted peanut butter and miracle whip sandwiches my father makes for me, because I love the man and I would hate to hurt his feelings.

 

Here's a theory. The typical child in America slowly loses icons. Santa . . . Easter Bunny . . . Tooth Fairy . . . maybe it's so hard to to let go of god and Jesus because they are the last little bit of magic that person has. It's worth a thought.

 

Carlos Mencia: "Jesus is back! Hide your eggs!"

[Merlinfmct87]

Santa didn't scar me. My parents always presented it as a mystery in any case. I was free to make my own choices... which is probably why I still have a nice warm spot in my heart for the guy.

 

In the grand scheme of things, Santa is very, very low on the list of things Parents can do wrong... trust me.

 

Merlin

[Asimov]

I don't remember how I felt about Santa not being real....I don't even remember believing in Santa so I can't say.

 

Does this just mean that your parents didn't make that big of a deal about Santa?

 

I asked my dad and he doesn't remember anything significant about me and Santa. He said he'd give it more thought. I don't think they did make a huge deal out of it, and if they did, they didn't keep it goin when I stopped.

[ThePureOne]

 

I also don't think most people are deeply affected by the Santa Myth. I believed in Santa probably longer than most children, I never felt betrayed by my parents, it's just a fun part of the culture. I'm glad I believed. I'm glad I had an imaginary friend. It's all part of the developing imagination, which IMO is just as important in a growing child as developing logic.

 

My opinion as well. I still enjoy Halloween a great deal, and I remember as a kid thinking of it as a magical night where strange creatures could walk among us. My son talks about Halloween regularly, and it's May. I still enjoy Christmas movies and all the Santa stuff. I think it would be really wrong and pointless to kill that kind of fun for a child.

[AtheistMommy]

Wanna know what really got me? Tooth Fairy. I just couldn't believe my parents were the ones putting change under my pillow. Once I could've sworn I stayed awake till I found the money to make sure it wasn't them, but I probably had one of those dreams where you think you didn't go to sleep. For years I believed that I would see the tooth fairy personally once I had children of my own.

 

Wanna know what really got me? Tooth Fairy. I just couldn't believe my parents were the ones putting change under my pillow. Once I could've sworn I stayed awake till I found the money to make sure it wasn't them, but I probably had one of those dreams where you think you didn't go to sleep. For years I believed that I would see the tooth fairy personally once I had children of my own.

 

Me too. They did such a good job they had me thinking it could be real. I found out by over hearing a conversation between my aunt and my dad. It broke my heart. I still didn't say anything. But I no longer put my tooth under my pillow.

[AtheistMommy]

I don't agree with this at all. Try telling a four year old there isn't a monster in the closet. Children have magical thinking. Most of them anyway. And it isn't necessarily the parents' fault. It's everywhere..

 

 

I have. However, I'v learn that even 4 year olds need proof. So this is what I've done, I provided him with a flash light, I leave the hall light on so that he can see better. I took the doors off the closet. I've physcially showed him that the only thing under his bed is dust and toys. He now asks me to clean under his bed. I've shown him that monsters are just pretend with movies like "monster's inc."

 

He now thinks monsters are cool. Now when he goes to bed he doesn't complain about monsters. However, there are a milliion and one other things he finds to complain about. He also knows about ghosts and Santa.

 

He doesn't know much about the tooth fairy, mostly because he's only heard about it off of "Franklen" and no where else. And if you've ever seen that cartoon, I'm convinced his parents are Atheists. I love the way they try and let him figure it out on his own. I admire their parenting tatics. He too was scared of monsters in his shell. He figured out that what he saw was his imagination and not actual monsters.

 

I guess part of my peeve with this whole thing is that when I was a kid I was ignored and deemed ignorant because of my age. I asked a question and half the time "god did it" or "your too young to know." Nothing was explained to me, I'm not going to do that to my kids.

 

My son knows that the easter bunny is nothing more than a man dressed in a suit. However, we did go to grandmas house and have an easter egg hunt full of candy.

 

We carve pumpkins and dress up for halloween.

 

Thanksgiving, we eat till we can't eat anymore and watch movies.

 

xmas, we go to grandmas and nana's to open gifts, say happy birthday, and eat.

 

Solstice, we stay home, open gifts, watch movies, go to the park, and eat.

 

Valentines day, we make cards for family members.

 

Birthdays, we go out to dinner (the birthday person chooses) and we rent movies. Unless it's a milestone birthday, then we throw a party.

 

I've explained to them what each of these holidays mean. My aunt asked me once why we celebrated Thanksgiving. I told her, I'm an Atheist, I can celebrate every day if I wanted to.

 

My point? Well, my point is you don't have to believe in such things to celebrate them. You don't have to push them off as "real" to be able to enjoy the imagination of them. My kids enjoy all of these holidays just as much as the kids next door.

[AtheistMommy]

 

Here's a theory. The typical child in America slowly loses icons. Santa . . . Easter Bunny . . . Tooth Fairy . . . maybe it's so hard to to let go of god and Jesus because they are the last little bit of magic that person has. It's worth a thought.

 

Carlos Mencia: "Jesus is back! Hide your eggs!"

 

Children naturally want to please their parents.

 

Good theory, but what happens with the Atheist child? If there is a such thing as being naturally Atheist, I was the poster child. What is your theory about the Atheist child?

 

And doesn't your theory prove that the typical American child is being set up for this down fall?

[Hero of Hyrule]

Instead of Santa we have St. Nicolaus here. He's a Turkish Bishop from Spaim who comes by steamboat to Holland. The Steamboat is full of presents, a white horse, a lot of moorish slaves who aren't really black because they're moors but because they climb down chimenies so much(Even though nearly everybody has central heating) and The Saint Himself. It's his birthday so he gets to give children presents. In Return, children give him drawings and so much carrots, Im' suprised to horse still likes them.

 

 

Anyways, my parents used to tell me he was real, but the most irritating boy from my class told me has wasn't but I insisted he was real and, like christians, I had all kinds of proofs, such as seeing a man crawling on the roof I that was a spy-piet(Moor) to spy on me to see if I was good. (In old times you didn't get anything if you were bad the year before). And the men playing St.Nicolas were real as well, so he was real. but of course my parents told me the truth and I was very angry and sad and furious for telling me a lie.

But when I looked back at it, it was actually pretty fun to know and see my little sister still believing it. Im' not permanently hurt by it, and I think it's a nice tradition that should be honored.

[Vixentrox]

I appently seen the Easter Bunny when i was young. I even vaguely remember seeing him though I'm sure it was just a child's hallucination becuase...the Easter Bunny don't really exist...right....?

[Ouroboros]

Eastern Bunny is real, but God doesn't exist. The Cute Bunny killed God.

[NotBlinded]

I don't agree with this at all. Try telling a four year old there isn't a monster in the closet. Children have magical thinking. Most of them anyway. And it isn't necessarily the parents' fault. It's everywhere.

 

You can tell your child over and over that there is no monster in the closet and be woken up every night anyway. I'll brew up the monster spray and let them spray for the monsters so we can all get some sleep. They naturally grow out of it. Kids grow out of monster fear and santa claus belief and any other ideas in the culture which no one believes as adults.

 

I also don't think most people are deeply affected by the Santa Myth. I believed in Santa probably longer than most children, I never felt betrayed by my parents, it's just a fun part of the culture. I'm glad I believed. I'm glad I had an imaginary friend. It's all part of the developing imagination, which IMO is just as important in a growing child as developing logic.

 

Logic isn't the god of all. It isn't with logic that art is created. We would live in a very cold world if everything in life was a mathematical equation. Sometimes it's nice to believe in something and I don't think it's right for adults to project an "all logic all the time" mentality onto children treating them like miniature versions of themselves.

Thanks Zoe...I needed that. I have felt guilty over and over again for letting my 7 year old continue to believe. She'll ask me once in a while and I just say that it's an adult secret. I can't think of anything else to say. I don't want to lie and I don't want to tell her the truth just yet.

 

It was very fun for me to believe in Santa. When I found out (5th grade) he wasn't real, Christmas changed alot for me. It was still fun, but the magic was gone.

[Ouroboros]

I don't know if someone said this already, but I recently heard a good argument pro-Santa-belief.

 

If you let the kid believe in Santa, but then when they get a bit older hear that Santa is just a myth, the kid can take the step into questioning God, Jesus and the Bible to be myths too. It kind of preps them for understanding that we can believe things that are just myths and not real and drop the beliefs when we get full understanding.

 

(I think it was the Infidel Guy that made this comment.)

[OnceConvinced]

I think if any kid supposedly suffers psychologically because they discover that Santa was a lie, then it obviously goes deeper than that. There's other things going on, which is compounding the problems.

 

I wans't concerned at all about finding out Santa was my parents. As long as I got my stocking full of presents and lollies I was happy. It didn't matter who brought them.

 

I told my kids the truth about Santa when they were about 6. I turned it into Santa's big secret. And a year before I'd told them that next year I was going to tell them what that secret was. So they looked forward to it. And when they did find out the truth, it didn't seem to bother them at all. Now they just go along with the charade when it comes to my partner's two young kids.

[NotBlinded]

I don't know if someone said this already, but I recently heard a good argument pro-Santa-belief.

 

If you let the kid believe in Santa, but then when they get a bit older hear that Santa is just a myth, the kid can take the step into questioning God, Jesus and the Bible to be myths too. It kind of preps them for understanding that we can believe things that are just myths and not real and drop the beliefs when we get full understanding.

 

(I think it was the Infidel Guy that made this comment.)

That does make sense. I'll remember that. I wish I would have put that together with Christianity when I was 10!

[Guest earl1940]

Instead of Santa we have St. Nicolaus here. He's a Turkish Bishop from Spaim who comes by steamboat to Holland. The Steamboat is full of presents, a white horse, a lot of moorish slaves who aren't really black because they're moors but because they climb down chimenies so much(Even though nearly everybody has central heating) and The Saint Himself. It's his birthday so he gets to give children presents. In Return, children give him drawings and so much carrots, Im' suprised to horse still likes them.

 

 

Anyways, my parents used to tell me he was real, but the most irritating boy from my class told me has wasn't but I insisted he was real and, like christians, I had all kinds of proofs, such as seeing a man crawling on the roof I that was a spy-piet(Moor) to spy on me to see if I was good. (In old times you didn't get anything if you were bad the year before). And the men playing St.Nicolas were real as well, so he was real. but of course my parents told me the truth and I was very angry and sad and furious for telling me a lie.

But when I looked back at it, it was actually pretty fun to know and see my little sister still believing it. Im' not permanently hurt by it, and I think it's a nice tradition that should be honored.

 

Well, we live in the same area, then. Saint Nicolas is the basis for the Santa Claus myth (still called St. Nicolas in some old U.S.christmas carols). St. Nicholas was a wealthy bishop in Myra, Turkey. How he came to Spain I forget now, but as you said, from Spain to Holland by steam boa, as the myth goes, with his Zwarte Pieten (Black Petes), the Moors. The man was real, however, and you explained his birthday etc. This tradition/myth made it from here to the U.S. (and I assume the U.K.), with some changes, as myths are wont to do. Santa (the Spanish name for saint) and Claus is just a variation of Klas. St. Nicolas is often called Sinter Klas here, a bastardization, also. Add some Finnish reindeer, sleigh, and dress him differently, change the story a bit and voila! By the way, the 'official' Santa costume today in the U.S. came from a Coca Cola advertisment in the 1930s. Before ca. 1950, the Santa costumes varied, often including brown boots and belt.