The Generic Person

[jjacksonRIAB]

I find myself having to often rebuild what I believe about certain things. I suppose this is kind of a question. How often do you stop to think that most of what you say and how you act comes from somewhere else and, as a meme, has guided your own thought processes?

 

What follows is not situation which I would attempt to have rationalized, though I know some would, but I use this conversation to illustrate my point:

 

There was a girl whom I worked with at my last job and I really liked her. We'd take breaks together every day of the week and have some good conversation. It was good having someone of the female persuasion to talk to especially after four years of minimal contact with women and I was starting to feel like I was finally able to make the plunge into a relationship. All it took was one conversation to end that possibility and leave me wondering for a while about memes once I got a handle on why it happened.

 

Basically she had said that she thought she was very good at talking people down on prices and that she could get a good deal just about anywhere. Off the cuff, I responded (not sarcastically) "I can imagine you would convince a man of anything". Now what I had meant by that comment was that she was so disarming that I would do anything for her, but that's not how she took it. A couple of sentences she later said defensively, "men are pigs" and the only response that I could come up with was that, "most people are".

 

Now I can see why a woman would resent a comment like that, because -despite that assuredly not being what I meant to say- it would imply that women can only get by because of sex appeal. Unfortunately, my comment - that left my lips before I even knew what I was saying - was as cliche as her response. That exchange seemed almost pre-programmed, as if those words weren't said by the people saying them, but by one program talking to another, echong a rehearsal up to the originator. Deja vu - I know this conversation has taken place before, but not by us.

 

It actually bothers me when people do this, and I have trouble accepting it as the genuine article. Have you ever felt like an actor in someone else's play?

 

It would seem that a lot depends on what significance we place on what we are told. When I first heard someone else say that, I attached to it an entirely separate significance that this person attached to it, and I thought it meant something else. When those words were transferred from someone else's perception to mine, it acquired an entirely different meaning.

 

It's the same with Christianity. There are traces of residual mouse turds all over this clinically sterile lab of a mind I am attempting to construct and I am constantly finding myself running around with a broom and a bottle of Clorox to clean them up -although I wonder how far I could go with that.

 

Could I spend the rest of my life cleaning up the mess in my mind? Would people think me slow to parse more deeply what I will hear and analyze without ego, but purely within my own mind -giving no weight to what I had heard or had otherwise been impressed upon me? Such a task would be manifold, if not altogether impossible. Sometimes I resent that it's there, knowing it cannot be removed.

 

If I am a consiquential combination of what I've experienced, am I me? If I am a unique variant of non-unique sequences -not only atomically, but psychologically, then where is Self?

[pandora]

That sounds very Buddhist. The co-dependent chain of origination, or something like that.

 

I think there's a lot to the sentiments you are expressing... and something to ponder. What is the Self? Not even so much as what is the soul, but what makes us unique except our experiences and our genes? I do think that Christian thinking residues will invade all my experiences and interpretations for the rest of my life. Mouse turds.... more like stains that can't be removed. However, with enough contemplation, I think they can at least be recognized, even if only after the fact.

[RankStranger]

Unfortunately (from your perspective), those 'mouse turds' ARE you. There's nothing new under the sun- just new combinations of the same ol' $hit. I tend to think that any 'self' we might have lies in physical/chemical interactions that are too difficult to model with our current abilities and understanding.

 

I like to think that IF there is anything original or unique in our conciousness', it's hidden within chaotic systems, bifurcation points, (apparently) random elements in quantum mechanics, and that nasty little semi-paradox called the Heizenburg Uncertainty Principle. One of the few interesting things I got out of a differential equations class that I just finished is that a function can be deterministic, but not predictable.

 

Determinism and predictability are not the same thing... some christians could really use that in a free-will arguement.

[jjacksonRIAB]

That sounds very Buddhist. The co-dependent chain of origination, or something like that.

 

I think there's a lot to the sentiments you are expressing... and something to ponder. What is the Self? Not even so much as what is the soul, but what makes us unique except our experiences and our genes? I do think that Christian thinking residues will invade all my experiences and interpretations for the rest of my life. Mouse turds.... more like stains that can't be removed. However, with enough contemplation, I think they can at least be recognized, even if only after the fact.

 

I've looked into Buddhism but a little. Now and again I'll listen to a song or something that seems too vague to be applicable when I have one of those "Aha!" moments and suddenly know what the author is getting at.

 

It's funny sometimes how totally clueless I am with regard to what I accept carelessly, but after I give the matter some thought I have an epiphany.

 

I have more experience with mouse turds than stains, having lived in an uninsulated 10x6 shed with the rodents for about two years. Try to sweep them out and they're back again elsewhere the very next day, almost as if they had retreated into the mind to a less conspicuous but eventually more insidious position, instead of being eliminated entirely.

 

 

 

Unfortunately (from your perspective), those 'mouse turds' ARE you. There's nothing new under the sun- just new combinations of the same ol' $hit. I tend to think that any 'self' we might have lies in physical/chemical interactions that are too difficult to model with our current abilities and understanding.

 

I like to think that IF there is anything original or unique in our conciousness', it's hidden within chaotic systems, bifurcation points, (apparently) random elements in quantum mechanics, and that nasty little semi-paradox called the Heizenburg Uncertainty Principle. One of the few interesting things I got out of a differential equations class that I just finished is that a function can be deterministic, but not predictable.

 

Determinism and predictability are not the same thing... some christians could really use that in a free-will arguement.

 

Schroedinger's cat! NOOOOOO!

 

Maybe something of an answer lies in geometry. I was reading an article today saying, for example, stem cells differentiate almost exclusively because of the geometry onto which they're implanted, so lithographically scoring a surface pattern at a nano scale onto any solid could cause stem cells to differentiate into various different types of tissues, including bone.

 

It somewhat ties into the idea of valence electrons being the determining factor of an element's characteristics.

 

I don't know if this makes any sense because I'm currently testing the effects of sleep deprivation on myself to see what happens, but I'll try to be less philosophical in the future. So far this week I have pulled a 24 hour awake period followed by a 10 hour rest period and now I'm on my second 24.

[LosingMyReligion]

I often ask myself the question, "Do I still maintain my faith in god due to Christian residual?"

 

Now I find myself thinking how different would my life be had I not been taught to be apart of a religion. I am constantly seeking to reconcile my current state of mind with my former belief system.

 

In a way I have let go, but I'm still hanging on.

 

It's weird because I feel like I'm in this state of flux. I'm still figuring out my belief system...and for the first time I'm doing it on my own.

 

I love the idea of there being some omnipotent creator in the universe...And I do believe it. However, what if there isn't? I don't dismiss the possibility at all.

 

And sometimes I wonder why I should even give a damn?

 

Perhaps the residual will fade once Christianity is completely out of my system(ie, I leave my family and stop pretending to still be into Christ Insanity)?

 

I don't know at this point.

[RankStranger]

 

Schroedinger's cat! NOOOOOO!

 

Maybe something of an answer lies in geometry. I was reading an article today saying, for example, stem cells differentiate almost exclusively because of the geometry onto which they're implanted, so lithographically scoring a surface pattern at a nano scale onto any solid could cause stem cells to differentiate into various different types of tissues, including bone.

 

It somewhat ties into the idea of valence electrons being the determining factor of an element's characteristics.

 

I don't know if this makes any sense because I'm currently testing the effects of sleep deprivation on myself to see what happens, but I'll try to be less philosophical in the future. So far this week I have pulled a 24 hour awake period followed by a 10 hour rest period and now I'm on my second 24.

 

Strangely enough that does make a little sense. It wouldn't have a few days ago, but I just read an article in popular science about nano-tech and why it works.

 

Just one more layer of things that we can probably calculate in small chunks, but not on a large scale. I wish I could say for sure that there's more to us than those 'mouse turds' you mentioned... but I've yet to see any reason to believe there is.

 

I often ask myself the question, "Do I still maintain my faith in god due to Christian residual?"

 

Now I find myself thinking how different would my life be had I not been taught to be apart of a religion. I am constantly seeking to reconcile my current state of mind with my former belief system.

 

In a way I have let go, but I'm still hanging on.

 

It's weird because I feel like I'm in this state of flux. I'm still figuring out my belief system...and for the first time I'm doing it on my own.

 

I love the idea of there being some omnipotent creator in the universe...And I do believe it. However, what if there isn't? I don't dismiss the possibility at all.

 

And sometimes I wonder why I should even give a damn?

 

Perhaps the residual will fade once Christianity is completely out of my system(ie, I leave my family and stop pretending to still be into Christ Insanity)?

 

I don't know at this point.

 

I've always assumed that lots of ex-christian deists hold on to their belief in SOME sort of god just because of some christian baggage... or are there other reasons? I just don't see any sign of any force that could be called a diety.