mick Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 I have a friend who is recently going through same deconversion experience as myself. He said that he has browsed these sites and others. He mentioned to me that it seemed like many of the deconversion testimonies seem like folks who may not have understood the Gospel, or people who just kind of got involved for a while, and then decided it was stupid. Both of us had been involved for like 20 years, felt truly "Born Again" throughout many of the years. Both understood and believed "Saved by Grace alone, through faith, plus nothing, etc" Believed most would go to Hell because their sins were not covered in the Blood, etc. I guess I am hoping my question does not offend anyone. I want to know if anyone here has similar, long lasting, many years, types of CHristian experiences. Then of course tanked it. I am not saying that someone who came in and out real vast doesn't count. It is just that it is encouraging to find people who just as convinced as me, for just as long. Many Christians write off ex-christians as people who "never really were" Christians. It is harder for them when you see ex-pastors, ex-missionaries, people that had major Christian testominies. Wouldn't it be cool if Billy Graham dropped the faith? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedPillAddict Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 I think a large majority of the people here have gone through similar experiences. I think we have some ex-preachers here, too. It may be a little bit of fear on his part. He might be telling himself that the people on this site deconverted because they didnt know any better, and that he fully understands Christianity, so his deconversion might be more sinful in a way...? I was raised a Christian...went to church on Sundays and Wednesdays and spent my summers at church-camp...was "born-again", etc. I realized Christianity was bullshit at about the age of 18. I spent years 16-18 studying my ass off trying to convince myself that it was true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StandingRoomOnly Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 There are a huge variety of de-conversion stories out there...people coming from various backgrounds and churches and varying "levels" of belief in Christianity. As a Christian, I often judged other Christians as being "weak"...or "strong"...and a whole lot of Christians as "in-between." I think as ex-Christians, some of us still judge whether or not someone had a "simple" or a "hard core" deconversion... Those who believed everything and have lots of knowledge of the Bible (with years in the faith)--their deconversion stories have more "awe" to them, you could say, more weight maybe. I don't have a dramatic Christian-conversion story. I grew up in a "strong" Christian family, in AoG churches, "said the magic prayer" at age 5...de-converted at a Christian University during my senior year 4 years ago. My family knows I believed, and that I was a Christian--they cannot accuse me of never being a Christian. My Christian friends cannot accuse me of never believing or never being a Christian. So...the only other thing I can be labeled with is a "backslider" or "running away from god." So those are the labels my family has given me. You will find many people who have de-converted have had "full-on-hard-core-Christian experiences" (speaking in tongues, done missonary work, just genuinely believed in their heart and mind that xtianity was true, etc.) I think we all need to be aware that even after we de-convert we can fall into the trap of judging the genuiness of others' deconversions--as silly as that may sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I have a friend who is recently going through same deconversion experience as myself. He said that he has browsed these sites and others. He mentioned to me that it seemed like many of the deconversion testimonies seem like folks who may not have understood the Gospel, or people who just kind of got involved for a while, and then decided it was stupid. Both of us had been involved for like 20 years, felt truly "Born Again" throughout many of the years. Both understood and believed "Saved by Grace alone, through faith, plus nothing, etc" Believed most would go to Hell because their sins were not covered in the Blood, etc. I guess I am hoping my question does not offend anyone. I want to know if anyone here has similar, long lasting, many years, types of CHristian experiences. Then of course tanked it. I am not saying that someone who came in and out real vast doesn't count. It is just that it is encouraging to find people who just as convinced as me, for just as long. Many Christians write off ex-christians as people who "never really were" Christians. It is harder for them when you see ex-pastors, ex-missionaries, people that had major Christian testominies. Wouldn't it be cool if Billy Graham dropped the faith? I'm an ex-minister; if you or your friend wants to corrispond PM me and I give you my e-mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I was brought up in a fundy family, and was "saved" from just about as early as I can remember. I cried myself to sleep many nights when in first grade over my fear of hell. Apparently I'm quite an underacheiver, as I stayed in the church until I was in my 30's, didn't fully own the name, 'athiest', until my 40's. So I'd say my tenure in the church was somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 years. Also, I was brought up Baptist, so I was encouraged to read and study the Bible every day, which I did with great zeal. I even compared translations. So, yes, I really did understand the Gospel, and was very familiar with all the nooks and crannies of Christianity. Atheism is a studied, well considered, and highly informed decision for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Does it count if you were born into the religion? I wasn't officially "born again" until I was 19(which was approximately five years ago), but the church and it's teachings have been with me for a lifetime. I believe your friend is in that "inbetween" phase. He is still trying to reconcile his beliefs. Truthfully, you don't even have to be a Christian for a day to realize the Bible is a lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 You might want to read the anti-testimonies. There are a number of stories from "born agains". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedah Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Both of us had been involved for like 20 years, felt truly "Born Again" throughout many of the years. Both understood and believed "Saved by Grace alone, through faith, plus nothing, etc" Believed most would go to Hell because their sins were not covered in the Blood, etc. Unless of course you deconvert. Once you deconvert, you will likely be thrown into the "Never really understood" box by other christians just like your friend places most of us. THere are some cases where the "never was a true christian" excuse chirstians make holds truth but most of the time its just a self brainwashing defense mechanism. They dont want to admit that its possible for a person who feels the same god inside them that they do can come to the conclusion that its all a bunch of foobar, because that forces them to admit somewhere deep down in their subconcious that its possible for the same thing to happen to them. To people who think eternal damnation awaits the nonbelievers, a feeling that they may become one can be very frightening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 My journal Of course, it is up to the reader to decide for them selves whether or not I was a "true" christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I gave all my time, money and love to Jesus and the Church for many years. I converted by my own accord and will at age 7, alone at my parents home in the kitchen. I cried, and didn't want to go to Hell, but I wanted to go to Heaven, so I asked Jesus to come into my heart...etc. At a couple of times I were in doubt and was back sliding, but when I was 22 I went to a fundamentalistic Bible School for one year, and then spent 10 years giving my life to what I believed in. I truly thought I was saved and a "True" Christian. I would have been one that had said what other Christians say about me now. I would have said back sliders and apostates were never True to the Gospel or really understood it. But now I'm at the other end, and I see how foolish and stupid I was. And I also know there's very little chance of explaining it to someone that are the way I was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shy1680 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 I felt I was a Christian for 20 years. Read my bible almost every day for 5 years before I deconverted. Attended churches, youth groups as a kid and later college bible study groups. Just a few weeks before I deconverted I prayed to Jesus to help me spread the word to Atheist LOL. Now I get to read some post of people saying the same stupid things I used to say. But I guess the more I think about it I was never really a REAL Christian, I could never bite into the trinity like REAL Chrisitans, I didn't desire to see anyone go to hell and felt sorry for Satan getting all the blame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Many Christians write off ex-christians as people who "never really were" Christians. It is harder for them when you see ex-pastors, ex-missionaries, people that had major Christian testominies. Wouldn't it be cool if Billy Graham dropped the faith? An interesting thought that occurred to me recently is that if our conversions had been half-hearted, or disingenuous to the point we could have been considered "not real Christians", then why is it that you see such anger, emotional struggling, seeking answers, emotional support, and on and on sites like these? Does this fit someone who wasn't really committed to their faiths? Think of this site and our struggles as those either overcoming a bad marriage where we have been emotionally betrayed, and/or as survivors of rape and abuse. If it wasn't deeply meaningful, then why would we be here now? Maybe it didn't mean anything to Jesus, but it did to us? That's cool, even those that loved him can't be saved unless they are preordained? That's fucked up! That cop out answer that we weren't real Christians doesn’t fit the realty of all of all of this. The truth is it must scare the crap out of them to see people like us for them to come up with some illogical "answer" like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dulce Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 I felt I was a Christian for 20 years. Read my bible almost every day for 5 years before I deconverted. Attended churches, youth groups as a kid and later college bible study groups. Just a few weeks before I deconverted I prayed to Jesus to help me spread the word to Atheist LOL. Now I get to read some post of people saying the same stupid things I used to say. But I guess the more I think about it I was never really a REAL Christian, I could never bite into the trinity like REAL Chrisitans, I didn't desire to see anyone go to hell and felt sorry for Satan getting all the blame. When I read your last paragraph I cracked up! I come from a pentecostal background and as us pentes KNOW....REAL christians don't believe in the trinity. REAL christians KNOW that jesus is god. LOL!!! I was taught anybody believing in the trinity is going straight to hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mick Posted June 5, 2006 Author Share Posted June 5, 2006 What denomination taught you that about the Trinity? I know there are some "Oneness Pentecostals" who deny the Trinity but I thought they were fringe cults. I always thought that most Pentecostals believed in the trinity. I felt I was a Christian for 20 years. Read my bible almost every day for 5 years before I deconverted. Attended churches, youth groups as a kid and later college bible study groups. Just a few weeks before I deconverted I prayed to Jesus to help me spread the word to Atheist LOL. Now I get to read some post of people saying the same stupid things I used to say. But I guess the more I think about it I was never really a REAL Christian, I could never bite into the trinity like REAL Chrisitans, I didn't desire to see anyone go to hell and felt sorry for Satan getting all the blame. When I read your last paragraph I cracked up! I come from a pentecostal background and as us pentes KNOW....REAL christians don't believe in the trinity. REAL christians KNOW that jesus is god. LOL!!! I was taught anybody believing in the trinity is going straight to hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicoleeann Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Be patient with your friend, its not like anything bad will happen to him if he doesn't deconvert quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outsider2 Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Wouldn't it be cool if Billy Graham dropped the faith? Well, Billy Graham has not de-converted, but his friend and long time preaching companion, Charles Templeton, did. The webmaster has a list of suggested readings and Charles Templeton's "Farewell to God" is on it. As for my deconversion.. I am an ex-missionary who is still living out in the "field" of Japan. I threw away a lot to come over here and it is tough when people say I was never a "real" christian. However, I understand what your friend is going through. It really is that last hurdle of realizing that the Bible is not what is sold to be. Once one gets past looking upon the Bible as a holy relic then it is easier to understand why people deconvert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 If ten years counts, I was there. I truely believed, but I was confused the whole time. It's not fair to say I was not a "real" christian because I deconverted. It's a cop out line to make me seem less human or intelligent than others as well as turning a blind eye to reality. No matter how obsessive you are, you're never "good enough" in christianity. There is always someone more pious than you, more giving, more involved, more holy...there is always the one angel that everyone adores in the church or the "perfect family" that everyone aspires to be. Then one day you find out that "angel" had the most extensive porn collection of anybody in the congregation, or the perfect family was marred by alcoholism and incest in their own home. This really has nothing to do with faith. These people might be "real" believers, but you can't measure faith. You can only measure actions and that's all the congregation really looks at. You can't win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LloydDobler Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 ...it seemed like many of the deconversion testimonies seem like folks who may not have understood the Gospel, or people who just kind of got involved for a while, and then decided it was stupid. The comedy of this statement is that he's doing exactly what he has to do with the bible. Pick and choose the statements that reinforce his own belief. He obviously missed the webmaster's extimony if he thinks that. I haven't re-copied my extimony from the last iteration of this site, but let me tell you I was not in a fringe cult, I was a true believer for about 20 years, and a very UNWILLING skeptic for about 5. In my younger years I did youth group and verse memorization and camp and retreats and all the regular kid things. I only listened to christian music, I didn't experiment with drugs, I didn't drink, I didn't have sex until I was married, although sexual temptations were my biggest weakness. I did touch boobies and the like, but still saved the big deed for marriage. How serious do you have to be for that? When I reached adulthood I began to dwell in the bible daily, I still have an inch thick stack of notecards that I wrote my favorite verses on to use in meditation and prayer. I spent months and years agonizing over my sin and praying for healing and freedom. I married a christian girl and with the sexual freedom marriage brought, I was finally sin free. Basically as an adult I simply got tired of lying to myself. Too many unanswered prayers, too little protection and guidance for those who prayed for it, and too many pat answers that anyone with an ounce of critical thinking skills would simply see right through. It just doesn't make sense unless you suspend your brain, and I couldn't do that anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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