white_raven23 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 The Existence of Hell (From the University of Washington) The following is an actual question given at the University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RisenTree Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 And thus, on that beautiful night, Ryan learned once and for all that Hell is endothermic.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbolt Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 ^^^ That was waaaay funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles7268 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 that's the second version of that one that i've seen so far lol. good stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedah Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 This is made of win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 White Raven... this had to make the teacher's day much more interesting. Thanks for sharing this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Heh, I knew at least half a dozen mentors growing up who would respond with, "Really, it's for gems like this that I became a teacher." Thanks, WR. That one never gets old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnosis of Disbelief Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Oldie but goodie. Always liked that joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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