Jump to content

When Things Go Wrong


starelda
 Share

Recommended Posts

Until a few weeks ago, I was Christian. One of the many things that turned me away from that is realising that I only believed because I had a need to believe.

 

When I came to believe in God a couple years ago it was at a time when I needed much help and comfort. Believing in something familiar such as Christianity (Iwas introduced to it at a young age through school) was comforting and helpful. It made me feel safe and helped me cope with my problems. I believed because I needed to and as a result I didn't ask that many questions at the time.

 

About 18 months later, the need was fading. The problems I'd had were sorted or in the process of being sorted. I no longer had this need to believe and out of the blue many questions started appearing in my mind...probably all the questions I should have asked before believing but didn't because I was so desparate to believe.

 

Well, those questions and this realisation has pushed me away...back to not believing. However, another problem has come up and I feel myself thinking about God again.A "need to believe" is back again...albeit it's a different problem but again I'm sitting here, something's gone wrong and I feel all too willing to grab the nearest bible.

 

I have to keep reminding myself that believing in something just because it gives you comfort is not a good reason to believe something. If I'm going to believe something it has to be because I think that something is real and/or true.

 

But did/does anyone else get like this? When things go wrong do you find yourself worrying whether you're heading the right direction (i.e. away from anything to do with God!)? Or find yourself worrying if this is some kind of punishment? Or find yourself feeling a need to believe in such things again and having to fight it off? How'd you deal with it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think most of us would like to think there is "Someone" or "Something" outside of us to "help" at times.

In times of stress, perhaps its a throwback to when we were children and had mommy and daddy to take care of it.

I spent 23 years in xtianity, so yes, it was hard not to "turn to prayer" when things went wrong.

 

I have since gotten passed that, and the only thing that helps is time.

 

At this point in my life, many things are wrong/bad/hurtful. Do I think I'm being punished for some "wrong?" or for not believing anymore? Sometimes, it feels like persecution, but not by some "Magical Being" outside of this space/time continuum.

 

No. Its cause and effect.

 

And sometimes, bad things happen to "good" people. Luck of the draw, the way things are.

 

Look at things rationally, regardless of what is occurring and I'm sure you can see the cause and effect also.

 

And, if you really feel a need to "reach for a power" outside of yourself..try a caring friend. They are likely to be of more practical help than talking to the ceiling.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Until a few weeks ago, I was Christian. One of the many things that turned me away from that is realising that I only believed because I had a need to believe.

Needs by themselves are not automatically bad things.

 

When I came to believe in God a couple years ago it was at a time when I needed much help and comfort. Believing in something familiar such as Christianity (Iwas introduced to it at a young age through school) was comforting and helpful. It made me feel safe and helped me cope with my problems. I believed because I needed to and as a result I didn't ask that many questions at the time.

Again, looking for spiritual consolation is not a bad thing - you can tell by its fruits if its the right way for you. If it only tends to result in greater anxiety in the long run then maybe the path you are taking is the wrong one for you.

 

About 18 months later, the need was fading. The problems I'd had were sorted or in the process of being sorted. I no longer had this need to believe and out of the blue many questions started appearing in my mind...probably all the questions I should have asked before believing but didn't because I was so desparate to believe.

This is a very human response, people turn to a God in times of trouble when they struggle to cope. In those times all the the doubts and questions get buried or are overidden by the immediate concern at hand only to return when the trouble blows over. I guess a lot of people, including myself, have "used" God like this. Apparently the xtian God does not object to this indeed, according to the bible he sends people such problems so they turn to him but that doesn't mean its God at work here. Are the poor starving in the world who have never heard of Jesus being pushed to learn about him? Nah!

 

Well, those questions and this realisation has pushed me away...back to not believing.

If you cannot get satisfactory answers to the questions you raised then you should follow your conscience. A good God would never want you believing something you thought was plain wrong ,or even worse, evil.

 

 

However, another problem has come up and I feel myself thinking about God again.A "need to believe" is back again...albeit it's a different problem but again I'm sitting here, something's gone wrong and I feel all too willing to grab the nearest bible.

It sounds like you have an emotional need to turn to something greater than yourself and this has been impressed on your mind through many years of habit forming thought processes. If in the past you have obtained solutions to your troubles through the bible why stop now? Are you being pulled two ways: i.e you think you have gotten help from God through the bible in the past yet your rational mind has trouble believing all the bible says?

 

 

I have to keep reminding myself that believing in something just because it gives you comfort is not a good reason to believe something.

Speak for yourself! :)

 

 

If I'm going to believe something it has to be because I think that something is real and/or true.

Do you think it was true you got help from God before using the bible? Even if a person does not believe the literal truth of the bible, and for very good reasons, its still possible by selective reading to glean much spiritual wisdom. You don't always have to use the bible, other spiritual traditions have lots of wisdom; but normally this causes problem with xtians, it did for me, because the demonisation of everything outside of xtianity is always there just below the surface of "tolerance" and "charity to others" etc. Perhaps if you explain what are the difficulties are you are experiencing?

 

 

But did/does anyone else get like this?

Sure, its a very human problem and what so unsusual in that!

 

When things go wrong do you find yourself worrying whether you're heading the right direction (i.e. away from anything to do with God!)? Or find yourself worrying if this is some kind of punishment?

Yes but I dont think it's reasonable but rather one of the sideffects of being, effectively, brainwashed since childhood. Is it reasonable to attribute the suffering of the poor throughout the world to the action a God who is supposed to be love punishing them? No! Bad things happen to people who are loved, good things happen to people who appear to be undeserving. Is not the book of Job an attempt to explore why this happens - the answer given there is "shut up I'm God you are not", i.e there is no reason. There is no way of figuring out why this or that should have happened through the supposed actions of an invisible God.

 

Or find yourself feeling a need to believe in such things again and having to fight it off? How'd you deal with it?

Try discussing what the problem is with other people if you are confused and unsure, through friends, through forums like this. Try to express what the feeling are that are pulling you in different directions then seek to resolve them.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, those questions and this realisation has pushed me away...back to not believing. However, another problem has come up and I feel myself thinking about God again.A "need to believe" is back again...albeit it's a different problem but again I'm sitting here, something's gone wrong and I feel all too willing to grab the nearest bible.

 

I have to keep reminding myself that believing in something just because it gives you comfort is not a good reason to believe something. If I'm going to believe something it has to be because I think that something is real and/or true.

 

But did/does anyone else get like this? When things go wrong do you find yourself worrying whether you're heading the right direction (i.e. away from anything to do with God!)? Or find yourself worrying if this is some kind of punishment? Or find yourself feeling a need to believe in such things again and having to fight it off? How'd you deal with it?

 

The thing is that going back to the Bible is likely to cause more confusion than assistance. Also, other inspirational writings in other religions and ideologies can offer advice and wisdom without all the fire and brimstone and contradictions.

 

I think it was important to me to realize that there isn't a black and white good and bad. Every thing can be viewed as a good thing or a bad thing depending on how it is looked at and who is looking at it. Sometimes, in difficult situations, instead of running back to God, I have tried to look at the situation as a whole and sort of get on top of it rather than getting pulled down into the muck. I talk about it with my fiancee or a close friend and often gain a different perspective. The Bible will not talk back to you like a friend will. You can't tell it, or God for that matter, your problem and them give you a different point of view. Other humans are one of the best things we have at our disposal when tough things happen.

 

Remember that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger (if we learn from it).

 

But to empathize, I have often wondered if I am being punished or if things would be better if I went back to Christianity. I know that it won't though. The main reason for that is because once you have left and seen it for what it is, a glorified myth and an attempt to explain the world like every other religion, I think it is near impossible to every really believe in all of it again.

 

Christianity gives us the idea that we are incapable of handling life and its problems without God. This is simply untrue because all the problems we handle, whether embracing Christianity or not, are handled by ourselves. We are the ones making the decisions and living with the consequences. God really has nothing to do with it. When you come out of Christianity, you have to build your confidence in yourself and your abilities without God. You ability to handle life has been there all along and been getting you through, but you haven't seen it as such. Try and think about that and assure yourself that you are capable of handling whatever comes your way- after all, you have been doing just that whether you have known it or not.

 

I hope I've been of help. Hang in there and you'll get through it. Remember you can handle it by yourself. And if you need a little perspective, talk to a good friend (preferably one who won't try to bring you back to Jesus in your vulnerable state!).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have to keep reminding myself that believing in something just because it gives you comfort is not a good reason to believe something. If I'm going to believe something it has to be because I think that something is real and/or true.

 

[nitpick]

If you believe something, you think it is real and/or true.

[/nitpick]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.