I'm Broken
Goddamnit, this is like a some kind of illness blog. I really didn't mean it to turn out that way. I wanted this to be an interesting and thoughtful blog. It just seems that this ripe age of 30 didn't come alone and I need to make notes of when these things happen.
Now on top of all else, I'm amenorrhic, with a couple other symptoms that seem related. After getting smaller and smaller all spring, my last period didn't happen at all. I really hope this would go away on its own, but I'm afraid that here's yet another reason to see a doctor once again. I already have five doctor or dentist appointments scheduled in the near future. Oh and I forgot, there's that Monday appointment that I haven't scheduled yet, for my strange chest pains. So that totals seven appointments, two of which I must schedule.
I do wonder if it's just my brain playing tricks on me. My ability to suggest myself into either illness or painlessness was always good, and it could be that. Or maybe I just really am this ill.
I've never felt ready to be a mother, but it doesn't feel nice to think that I may not actually have a choice in the matter.
Crap...I hope the chest pains and amenorrhia aren't related. Omg. I'm really glad I wrote this blog, this is to remind myself of everything I must tell my doctor.
Uh, it hurts to breathe.
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