All The Benefits Of Yoga... Without The Damnation!

[MrSpooky]

 

 

 

 

Oh this is gonna be good.

 

 

 

As a child growing up on Long Island, I became involved with yoga at the age of seven when my mother and I began watching a daily yoga exercise program on television. For the next 22 years I was heavily involved with yoga, metaphysics and the New Age movement until I came to the end of myself and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ in 1987.

 

I call yoga “the missionary arm of Hinduism and the New Age movement.” We don’t often think of other religions having missionaries, but the philosophy and practice of yoga have been primary tools of Hindu “missionaries” to America since “Indian priest and mystic” Swami Vivekananda introduced yoga to the West at the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago.

 

Interestingly, Swami Vivekananda is attributed with the idea of combining the theory of “evolution of the soul” with his teachings of Hinduism. Instead of working out one’s “karma” by becoming a grasshopper, ant or human in progressive lives, he taught an “evolution of the soul” whereby the individual continues in an evolutionary process to “manifest the god within.”

 

Apparently he understood that Americans wouldn’t buy into the traditional Hindu theory of reincarnation. Not many westerners could imagine they would ever come back as a lower form of life. A higher form of life perhaps, but certainly not a lower one. Have you noticed how many people – even Christians – believe in reincarnation? One can just keep coming back until they get it right. Sadly, this false teaching leads people away from the necessity for a Savior. And if we progressively get better with each life, why aren’t we all living in Blissville now?

 

One man’s definition of a theory is “a supposition based on ignorance of the subject under discussion.” While you may not find that in Webster’s, it’s fitting. Actually, Webster’s definitions include, “a speculative plan, conjecture or guess.” Do you remember when evolution used to be called the “theory of evolution?” It’s seldom called a “theory” any longer outside of Christian circles. Interesting. But I digress…

 

 

 

By Ushabti's Seven Teats, woman. You need to get back on your damn Valium.

 

 

In February 2001 I began praying about an idea I believe the Lord gave me for a Christian alternative to yoga, PraiseMoves. I’m careful to tell people it’s not “Christian yoga,” which I believe is an oxymoron (a contradiction of terms). What would you say about the woman who says she’s a “Christian Buddhist?” Wouldn’t you think she’s bit confused? Actually, PraiseMoves is a Christ-centered alternative to the practice of yoga.

 

 

 

I'm pretty sure this speaks for itself.

 

 

 

 

[♦ ficino ♦]

She'll score some bucks on this one, that's fer sure.

[Vigile]

She's got scary, scary demon eyes. She's probably channeling several evil spirits she contracted when she was in a spirtually vulnerable lotis position.

[MrSpooky]

Silly me, I forgot the URL.

 

http://www.praisemoves.com/ChristianAlternative.htm

[Lizard]

Oh boy..another ripoff..

 

I love the line: I call yoga “the missionary arm of Hinduism and the New Age movement.”

 

And of course, the definition of "Theory" too..

[white_raven23]

Hope her hair eats her face. It's big enough.

 

I'd have to go with Penn & Teller on this one......just call it stretching!

 

Christian Stretching!

 

Buy now for 19.95 and receive your bonus gift, a 'stretching' mat with a life size print of Jesus on it!

 

Flex your ass and think of Jesus!

 

[LosingMyReligion]

It was funny how she said that reincarnation is bull...

 

But believing in a dead guy as your personal savior is somehow superior...

 

Ha!

 

And is that her hair or is a black vulture taking a nap?!

[BlueGiant]

Man for someone doing something related to yoga she looks pretty stressed. And what's with the hair?

[Lycorth]

From 1 Timothy 4:

 

7Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.

 

8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

 

Interesting - it seems she is trying to base a Xian activity off of a Pagan Indian spiritual exercise, in violation of verse 7, and by doing so, placing more emphasis on physical training that is useful, in violation perhaps of verse 8.

 

Guess Xians just have to find a way to have their yoga and get away on technicalities, too. I understand, though - I was like that myself, once. Like most Xians are, I suspect

[The Sage Nabooru]

Have you noticed how many people – even Christians – believe in reincarnation? One can just keep coming back until they get it right. Sadly, this false teaching leads people away from the necessity for a Savior. And if we progressively get better with each life, why aren’t we all living in Blissville now?

 

Or maybe there is no neccessity for a savior?

 

Oops, there I go thinking outside the box again.

 

Now I will proudly tell all my friends very specifically that I practice "non-Christian yoga".

[OnceConvinced]

Mmmm. This could spawn a whole heap of new videos and books for turning occultic things and the like, into Christian things.

 

How about.....

 

Instant Messaging the Dead - The christian alternative to seances.

 

Porn Missions - Going undercover (The effective way to witness to Porn stars)

 

Astrology for the Christian

[The Sage Nabooru]

Astrology for the Christian

 

You mean PRAISE-READING THE HEAVENS .

[Fweethawt]

I think the hair is there to keep people from focusing on her man-face.

[duderonomy]

Wow.

 

I'm flexing my ass right now and thinking of Jesus (White Raven, )!

 

This is what The Lord gave me; a Christian alternative to not being a Christian! I haven't worked out all of the details yet, but when I do, I'm sure The Lord will lead me to write a book about it.

 

It's just this kind of copy-cat-but-not-really bull that turned me off to Christianity...when I was still a Christian.

 

Now, it just makes me feel sorry for them and their need to do this.

 

No wait, not the ones that do this and praise God for the filthy lucre they make with their hypocritical nonsense, but rather I feel sorry for the ones that buy this kind of crap thinking they can have some benefit of the world's collective knowledge without pissing off the God that supposedly created the human body and spirit that might benefit from things like yoga.

 

There are still slaves in America. They are the ones buying books like this thinking that they are doing God a favor by doing those nasty 'eastern religious things' the 'Christian way'.

 

I don't usually post here , but this one caught my eye, and I'm on a rant.

[duderonomy]

and...

 

"I’ve discovered there’s not an infinite number of ways the human body can move. Some of the PraiseMoves postures resemble yoga postures while others do not. For example, the 22 PraiseMoves Alphabetics postures are based on the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet and do not resemble yoga at all."

 

There's a pose I learned at a young age involving one finger that pretty much describes how I feel about drivel like this.

 

Numerology and occultism at it's finest. Christians and ex-Christians alike should avoid crud like this. It drags us all down, like a red herring in the debate of life.

 

And I don't even mean to give a bad name to Numerology or Occultism.

 

She discovered that the body can only move in a limited number of ways? Was she ever a child?

[Legion]

Christian Yoga YAH! Feels great, less stretchy.

 

Oh goodness, I haven't laughed this hard in along time.

 

Thanks guys.

[Lizard]

For just $16.95 +S&H, you can save your soul and do yoga too!

 

Which totally contradicts this:

 

Again, looking at the “ouch” from 1 Corinthians 10: 28-29 and 33 - "But if anyone says to you, 'This was offered to idols,' do not eat it for the sake of the one who told you, and for conscience' sake...'Conscience,' I say, not your own, but that of the other... not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved."

 

Shouldn't she be giving this away free then? Wonder if her email is on there..hmm..

[Ex-COG]

Mmmm. This could spawn a whole heap of new videos and books for turning occultic things and the like, into Christian things.

 

How about.....

 

Instant Messaging the Dead - The christian alternative to seances.

 

Porn Missions - Going undercover (The effective way to witness to Porn stars)

 

Astrology for the Christian

 

Oh, it's being done...

 

Welcome to ChristianPsychics.biz

 

You haven't arrived here by accident. You are searching for something. Something called you here, something attracted your attention.

 

Was it the light of a better, brighter world, beckoning to you?

 

A still small voice speaking to the back of your mind?

 

A distant memory rising up, waiting to be recognized?

 

You have questions, concerns, issues.

 

We have help, and connections, and answers.

 

Pxychics!

 

 

So what exactly is a Pxychic? What's the difference between the Christian psychics (Pxychics) at Christianpsychics.biz and other psychics online?

 

A Pxychic is a psychically sensitive and gifted person who has Christ Jesus in the center of their heart.

 

That's a cute play on words, but what does it really mean?

 

It means that you have the blessed assurance that we are exactly what we say we are- real psychics, honest and accurate, who make a 110% effort for you and your issues. We receive our impressions, intuitions, and information from the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of Prophecy, as mentioned in Revelations 19, verse 10.

Also, the safety of sensitive information and the utmost confidentiality is sacred to us. We answer to a Higher Authority.

 

 

E-mail interviews are conducted within 24 hours of reception, usually after 4PM Pacific Time. Phone-in sessions are available weekdays and evenings before midnight, Pacific Time. Written correspondence is equally welcomed and answered as soon as possible.

 

 

You haven't arrived here by accident. We have a gift to share with you from our treasure stores. Please check us out now! God Bless!

 

 

Christian Psychics

 

Hurry and call before the end of the month...you get four minutes free! Praise Jesus!

 

Check out the Pxish Market .

[narcissist]

There's a pose I learned at a young age involving one finger that pretty much describes how I feel about drivel like this.

Was it called the "Sit and Spin"?

 

 

Possible names for Christian Yoga poses/moves:

 

Picking the Fruit,

Parting the Sea,

Slaying the Lamb,

Bible Bash the Heathen,

The Smote Sinner,

The Eye Poke,

Pulling the Wool,

 

I can imagine at some adult education class the instructor saying "come on everybody, let's pull the wool over our eyes, that's the way..."

[Lizard]

I thought you were joking, Ex-COG..are they really for real?

[Ex-COG]

I thought you were joking, Ex-COG..are they really for real?

I think they are, though it's nothing that I've heard of before. Kind of a gnostic, new-agey type of Christianity. Read through this page, where they offer all kinds of counselling, spiritual treatments, communication with the dead, etc. (all for a price of course--in that, they are like other Christian groups!): How We Can Help

 

"One of the most frequent challenges we hear to our ministry at Christian Psychics, is the one to the nature of the ministry itself. How is it possible to be both Christian and psychic?

 

First of all, the terms are not mutually exclusive. The term psychic describes the soul; a Christian psychic relates information coming from the soul of a Christian. The soul of any Christian is filled with the Holy Spirit, with Gods grace, and is a literal part of the body of the risen Christ. {see Romans 12:6-8; 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, and 28-30; Ephesians 4:7-12; First Corinthians Chapter 14, verses 1 thru 5, especially 5, '...I prefer you to prophecy'...and First Thessalonians 5:20-22 '...do not despise prophecy, but test all things, and hold fast to what is good.' }

 

Jesus, while He was still with us on earth, made mention that whatever works He did, He then expected us to do- and greater ones still (John 14:12). He also stated boldly that we would be known by our fruits (Matthew 7:15) You know the inspiration is from the Holy Spirit by the fruit it bears.

 

So give me a good reason for the continued difficulty?"

From Testimonies

[Trancelation]

This is a lot like the Western adaptation of the Kama Sutra. In both cases, they're doing it wrong. In doing so, they're doing more harm to themselves and to others than good. Lucky for them, the Bible says they should lie.

[The Sage Nabooru]

This is a lot like the Western adaptation of the Kama Sutra. In both cases, they're doing it wrong.

 

Indeed. I specifically bought my Kama Sutra without any pictures and with as much text as possible (commentaries). I didn't want to perpetuate the idea that the KS is all about getting kinky with your main squeeze.

 

I also dislike the idea that most Westerners have that yoga is just some type of faintly hippie-ish exercise. It's not. Physical poses and movements are merely part of the program intended to unite body, mind, and spirit in full appreciation of divine wisdom in the eventual attainment of moksha upon death.

[Trancelation]

This is a lot like the Western adaptation of the Kama Sutra. In both cases, they're doing it wrong.

 

Indeed. I specifically bought my Kama Sutra without any pictures and with as much text as possible (commentaries). I didn't want to perpetuate the idea that the KS is all about getting kinky with your main squeeze.

 

I also dislike the idea that most Westerners have that yoga is just some type of faintly hippie-ish exercise. It's not. Physical poses and movements are merely part of the program intended to unite body, mind, and spirit in full appreciation of divine wisdom in the eventual attainment of moksha upon death.

*high fives you* Amen. I can guarantee you that these folks preaching this off-brand yoga are not getting the same benefits as those who understand the intention of yogic practices - -take the woman in the pictures, for example. I can only hope this nonsense doesn't get mixed in with yoga outreach programs in prisons. Christ has all the criminals he needs in his employ, thanks.

[Astreja]

I can guarantee you that these folks preaching this off-brand yoga are not getting the same benefits as those who understand the intention of yogic practices - -take the woman in the pictures, for example.

As yoga, it's doomed to fail. Instead of concentrating on what they're doing and thinking and feeling, so that they can correct and control it, they're probably thinking about Jesus instead.

 

And a warning, for my sake and theirs... First "Christian entrepreneur" who tries a similar stunt with the Futhark runes is getting a flaming hagalaz up the tailpipe. Still shaking my head at crap like "runic Tarot" and "zodiac runes."