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Are More Bad Things Happening To You Since You Deconverted?


WakingUp
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I was warned by a former pastor, who learned I was looking at feminine divine and "new age" stuff, that my life was going to take a terrible turn. Bad things would start happening to me now that I was rejecting scripture and getting involved in these evil teachings. Yes, he was serious. I told him I thought God was leading me, as I'd been praying for years to be "Lead into all truth". I never heard back from him. His warning felt like a "curse". So far, nothing terrible has happened except the withdrawal/sadness that comes from huge life changes...even when they are true and good. Letting go of forty years of believing in Jesus is not always happy.

 

Anyway, my question is have you noticed "bad things" happening at a greater rate now that you have deconverted?

 

WakingUp

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I was warned by a former pastor, who learned I was looking at feminine divine and "new age" stuff, that my life was going to take a terrible turn. Bad things would start happening to me now that I was rejecting scripture and getting involved in these evil teachings. Yes, he was serious. I told him I thought God was leading me, as I'd been praying for years to be "Lead into all truth". I never heard back from him. His warning felt like a "curse". So far, nothing terrible has happened except the withdrawal/sadness that comes from huge life changes...even when they are true and good. Letting go of forty years of believing in Jesus is not always happy.

 

Anyway, my question is have you noticed "bad things" happening at a greater rate now that you have deconverted?

 

WakingUp

 

Waking:

 

I 'deconverted' almost twenty years ago and I will answer your question with a categorical 'no'. Now, in that time I have lost my father to an aneuryism and a partner to breast cancer. I have had ups and downs of career, lost a LOT of friends to AIDS in the early 1990's. But still I would give a categorical 'no'. The reason is that these things happen. Like the old 12-step slogan "Shit happens' and the fact of the matter is, it does. I understand how you are feeling and the only counsel I can give is this: when I first left Christianity I thought that my life would fall apart and, at first, it appeared it was doing just that. I lost friends, I came out as a lesbian and that caused me to lose my family, a lot of things happened. However, I recognized that my fears were just that--holdovers from programming. There's a lot of magical thinking that goes into being a Christian--it's almost entirely magical thinking run rampant and it will take time to get over that. It took me a few years to stop thinking magically but it does happen.

 

Cheers

lf

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Exactly what LadyFractal said. "Shit happens." Life is not perfect, and no mealy mouthed pastor has the power to put a curse on your life.

 

That is just his way to try and scare you into Christianity.

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No.

 

You pastor was using the last resort of a desperate pathetic man. Idle threats. At best, he hopes to inspire fear. Crappy shit happens to people on occasion. It's normal. Part of life. We deal with it the best way we can, and we move on. But religious folk take a very superstitious and OLD idea. That the normal foibles of life are somehow NOT normal at all. You got cancer? God's punishing you. Pray for cure (remember....prayer was usually a plea for forgiveness). You lose your job? Wasn't because you played Warcraft on your work computer all day.....nonono. It was beause you weren't tithing your ten percent and this is your divine punishment.

Got a splinter in your toe? Wasn't because you were tired and your foot brushed too close to the unsanded door frame. Nonono. God sent an evil spirit to punish you for counting your little green army men to see how many you had (remember god hates a census). Better start the prayin'.

 

Shit happens. And actually, since I left religion, I've noticed LESS crummy shit happening. Couldn't be because now I take full responsibility for my successes and failures in life instead of waiting to see if god's going to help. Nah. That can't be it. Must be the little devils and demons living in my shoes trying to lead me into a false sense of security. :HaHa:

 

Your pastor wanted you to be afraid. Don't let that make you start inferring stupid connections where none exist. Your burrito did not blow up in the microwave because god is warning you to come back to church, marry a churchite, and breed little churchlings along the riverbank missionary settlement in Rwanda. It blew up becasue you accidentally set the timer for too long.

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I can tell you my life has improved immeasurably since my de-conversion. 'Bad stuff' doesn't happen any more frequently than it did before, and I'm able to roll with the punches much better than I did as a xtian.

 

The idea that Biblegod offers some sort of protection racket is not only foolish, it's anti-biblical, anyway. What, god is some kind of mobster?

 

"Nice life you got here. It would be a shame if you de-converted and something - happened to you..." :scratch:

 

 

 

 

 

Come to think of it, it is a protection racket. :ugh:

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What gets me about Christians is whenever something bad happens to one of them, they couch it up to being "tested" by God. But if the same thing happens to non-believers, it's their fault and God isn't blessing them or their "sins are keeping God from doing a good work" in their lives.

 

No matter what you do, it seems you're going to experience trouble anyway. So why bother getting in on some supernatural insurance policy if you pay your obedience premiums yet don't even get reimbursed when life happens to you? Aflac and Nationwide do a better job than the all-powerful Christian deity.

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To answer the question: NO.

 

In fact my life started getting much better after I stopped worrying about whether or not HELL was awaiting me for saying "fuck" or disagreeing with the pastor.

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Six years after I declared myself an atheist I was struck head on by a drunk driver who was going home after several hours of drinking at a church festival. Yes, I see the irony. I was out of work for a year.

Was god trying to tell me something? I don't think so. I think the accident would have happened even if I was a believer at the time. I never prayed for help and my wife at the time made sure I wasn't bothered by the chaplin. I trusted my orthopedist and other medical people.

Nothing bad has happened to me since and even if it had I would not have turned back to god, that is how strongely I feel about the none existence of god. If there was a god and he loved me so much that he wanted me to come back to him tough love is not the way to win me back.

Of course I have to be honest with you, if I did see god and or carry on a conversation with it I would ask my doctor to check me for a brain tumor. :HaHa:

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Anyway, my question is have you noticed "bad things" happening at a greater rate now that you have deconverted?
No.
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Since I deconverted in November 2004, some bad and annoying things have happened to me, often enough for me to ask, "What's going on here?" Then I remind myself that bad things happened to me in the past when I was a "good xian", so there! Even the buybull has verses about "rain falls on the just and unjust" and one of the oldest books in the buybull, per some buybull scholars, is the book of Job because one of the oldest questions around is, why does gawd allow bad things to happen?

 

The psychic twist that I had in my mind as an xian, somehow I picked it up over the years, was the following:

 

-If bad things happen when you're close to god (praying, believing, reading the buybull, attending church regularly), well then Satan is attacking you for being close to god and god help you, literally, if you're trying to get closer and more spiritual because Satan will attack you even more.

 

-If bad things happen when you're not close to god, Satan is attacking you because you have fallen away.

 

Either way, there was an excuse though not an explanation. :Wendywhatever:

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Anyway, my question is have you noticed "bad things" happening at a greater rate now that you have deconverted?

 

The complete opposite.

 

Shortly after my deconversion I got a new hot girlfried (now my wife), new home, new job. All cool, a definite improvement. :fdevil:

 

And I wasn't even a fundie... :lmao:

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Add me to the list of No's.

 

Nothing absolutely terrible has happened to me, either pre or post deconversion. Just the same old downs every single other person on this planet experiences every day. I lost my sister when I was very young, I've lost my grandparents and dearly beloved pets as everyone does, and I've lost a very dear friend who was a good Catholic and her family are doing their best in their grief to praise the good Lord that she is an angel now.

 

I've been sick, depressed, healthy and joyful, at all different times of my life.

 

The thing that has changed now, is my attitude about the negative things. There is a great deal of relief in understanding neither you nor anyone else has been singled out by God/Satan to experience something; everybody experiences these things, and how 'terrible' it turns out to be depends on me and my actions and my attitude. I have such a more positive attitude now about people in general, and have lost the fear of death, that is a huge plus. Deconversion has been far and away a huge positive in my life.

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Frack No!

 

Sure bad things happen from time-to-time, but no more than they used to. It's that whole being-human thing. The only misfortune that you may encounter wrt a deconversion is possible (ok, likely) social censure by members of your former church. 'Course with friends like that...

 

I could pull a rather spectacular example of someone getting screwed while being in god's camp (had to do with mistaken identity and a really nasty highway wreck), allong with all relavant articles. Coming from him, it sounds like the last plea from a desparate man, who sees a few more dollars leaving from his collection plate.

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Hmmm. Nope. I've had some bad stuff happen to me since deconversion, but I have had a lot of incredibly great things happen too.

 

Right now I'm going through a really rough patch and it sucks, but I don't have the added anxiety of thinking God is mad at me. Which I can tell you is quite a huge load off the shoulders at times like this. I know without a doubt it's going to pass, so I'm not wasting more energy than necessary. Funny how getting through the good and bad times got a lot easier without thinking god was meddling in it.

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Nah, shit happens.

 

This was one of my worries when I deconverted though...and sometimes I find such worries still lurking in the back of my mind somewhere. But yeah, nothing is any worse than it was before...the world hasn't ended, my life hasn't fallen apart and problems will come and go just as normal and just as they did before.

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Bad things haven't happened with greater frequency in my life since I deconverted. Neither have good things, or neutral things. Stuff just happens, just like it always did. There have been times when more bad things have happened, and times that have had more good things, but it's never been related to any religious state I was in at the time. I had terrible shit happen to me when I was Xian, and great shit happen to me when I was pagan, and... you get the idea.

 

I will say, though, that life seems better overall since I got out of the Xian meme. I think that has a lot to do with my attitude now. Xianity created a lot of anxiety, a lot of fear, about life, death, pain, all kinds of things. I still worry, I still fear things, but not to the same degree as I did when I was Xian - not even remotely. I don't worry about hell, for one thing. Neither do I spend time fretting and fussing over whether or not some action I take or don't take is going to cause me or my loved ones to spend eternity burning.

 

Neither do I connect bad or good events with a pissed-off deity anymore, or, by extension, with my own actions. I find the belief that bad things happen to you because you've done something cosmically wrong to be extraordinarily self-centered. God doesn't send hurricanes to your state because you did something to piss him off, he doesn't lay areas to waste with famine because he's annoyed, he doesn't cause diseases in people he hates... the world just operates as it does and sometimes bad shit happens and sometimes good shit happens. (Note that I'm not remarking here on the natural consequences that might happen if someone makes a stupid decision in their life, for instance.)

 

Your pastor was trying to snowball you, trying to scare you back into his flock. He's probably scared himself - scared of the consequences if he leaves, and scared to see someone he knows actually realize it's all bullshit and break free.

 

In any case saying your life is going to become awful is just a shitty thing to say. What a fucktard. Don't listen to him.

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Nopers. Good and bad things happen all the time to everyone. Like white_raven23 said, its up to you to be responsible for your successes and losses. Frankly I feel relieved to no longer be a xian. Life is less complicated and I'm actually enjoying my life. I don't need god to do life.

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First let me say this: the pastor is a royal idiot. I wish I could put my hands on him. If it were true that band things are going to happen to you, he wouldn't need to say it. He would just need to sit and wait for your crying-uncle phone call.

 

As for me, the answer is NO.

 

I have been through an awful lot of adjustment, which is different. I've been creating my brand new view of the world, remaking my life. All that took its toll on me and I've been throug depression, anger, and a few other things.

 

But I have to say that the freedom I am experiencing is priceless--I would never go back to thinking the way I did. I was going nuts. Religion is pure insanity, mind control, brainwashing, and more than anything, a WASTE OF TIME.

 

I feel horribly when I realize how many precious years I wasted giving my soul to religion. But it is over. I am done. I am never going back to having anyone tell me what to think--or what to fear.

 

I don't fear god anymore. I only fear wild animals and bad people in dark streets.

 

I'd better stop now before it becomes a book.

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Nope. I've had both good and bad things happen to me, just as they did when I was Christian. In fact, I can think of more bad things that happened to me when I was religious than not, although I didn't deconvert because of that.

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Fuck No!

Had bad things happen while a devout "worshipper" and have bad things happen as an atheist.The difference is I no longer live in guilt and actually think more clearly now.Blessed are they who fer the lord,,,,,fuck that. I fear my own sometimes stupid decisions and bow to no phony gods.

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No. Bad things happen at the same rate. But I'm much better able to cope with them and do something about them as I've abandonded the "worthless, helpless sinner mentality" and embraced the "I'm a normal human being" mentality.

 

In fact, I'm starting to experience the good things in life that never-been-christians take for granted. And I've had a lot of good things happen to me as well, things that never occured whilst I was a christian.

 

Since abandoning christianity, I've started looking forward to the future, and feeling good about it.

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I would say that I was probably happier as a Christian. However one cannot equate correlation with cause and effect. When I was a Christian I was a child and life was easy. Now there's so much work to do.

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Hmm. Well, my life has pretty much slowed to a standstill. I don't think that's caused by my leaving the fold, though.

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Well, I'll be the odd ball out and say yes, my life has gone to shit.

Worst fucking year of my life.

 

But I'm pretty sure it's a coincidence, and the bright side is that deconverting has left me a stronger, saner person, and I'm coping with this crap far better than I would have before.

I would be a total mess right now if I were still Christian. Trying to have faith in God and look at things from a spiritual POV always left me bordering on being stark raving mad when life got really tough.

Some people find comfort in religion, but it tended to have an opposite effect on me.

"Shit happens" I can/have to just deal with.

"Why is God doing this to me? What's God trying to teach me? Has a failure to conquer sin brought this about? Where are you, God? Please help me!" always fucked me up.

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