mick Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I have a criticism of this site and I am curious if anyone agrees. FIrst, I LOVE this forum, and don't know what I would do without it. That said, I wish the Jesus graphic and the BLAH BLAH BLAH bible pciture were not on every page. (or even any page) I personally wish the whole thing was more generic looking. It's hard for me to be able to look at this site unless my entirely family is out or something. I imagine that would be true for some others. The other thing is I might want a person who is still a Christian, but struggling with questions, to be able to come here and read. The thing is the first time they come, they would "dequalify" the site as reasonable simply because it would seem offensive to them. Remeber, indoctrinated Christians, are very scared of being "blasphemous" Any way I just thought I would share this thought. I really love coming to this site though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Everglaze Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 You'd be surprised at the persistence of some Christians who come here. They shouldn't even be here if they're trying to convert us EX-Christians. However, if they do have questions about our DE-Conversion, that's a different story (unless they wanna get smart-assed about it). That's why this site is ExChristian.net, not CurrentChristian.net. Most of us generally don't like Christianity. If Christians don't agree with it, so what? That's their problem. In the same way, if I went over to a Christian site, you don't think what they talk about would offend me? That's why I don't go to Christian sites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I actually think it should stay the way it is. There are loads of "objective" websites out there. For me, I love the bold, in your face, anti-Christianity stance this website takes. For some reason the Jesus with the "Blah, blah, blah" Bible makes me feel better. It lets me know that I'm not alone and that others feel the sameway that I do. When I came here I was very bitter towards x-tianity, and it felt really good to know that there was a place that catered to my feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Yeah, but I see what he's saying. A potential deconvert going through the first stages of doubt might be scared away by hardcore anti-christian imagery that screams, in his indoctrinated mind, "EVILLLLL!" While sticking to your guns might be the admirable thing to do, it's worthy of consideration that a soft sell might bring in more deconverts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior_of_god Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Yeah, but I see what he's saying. A potential deconvert going through the first stages of doubt might be scared away by hardcore anti-christian imagery that screams, in his indoctrinated mind, "EVILLLLL!" If he turns away perhaps he is not ready to deconvert yet. I think it should stay as it is. Its bolder that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Yeah, but I see what he's saying. A potential deconvert going through the first stages of doubt might be scared away by hardcore anti-christian imagery that screams, in his indoctrinated mind, "EVILLLLL!" If he turns away perhaps he is not ready to deconvert yet. I think it should stay as it is. Its bolder that way. That's like saying a drowning man in the throes of panic isn't ready to be saved yet. Should a potential, qualified rescuer wait until they stop panicking? Might not get a second chance. Members here generally fall into two categories. One think it is their duty to stop the spread of christianity and/or do what they can to free others from its grip, and others are just grateful they finally saw the light of reason and perhaps a bit resentful they put up wasting years of their precious lives with that garbage. Both are understandable. However, the actions of the latter might undermine the intentions of the former. On the other hand, the actions of the former, if done effectively, can do no harm to the latter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhampir Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 You shouldn't forget Huai, there are plenty of people who don't register at all. Plenty of them are christian lurkers who are taking in this knowledge, whether they deconvert or not. I'll admit that some are probably put off by some of the imagery and the actions of some members, but the majority of the site isn't like that, and the people that are scared off probably have not become bold enough to openly question, which is something we can't do anything about. Also, there are those who try to reconvert us, who end up taking whatever dishonest route they can come up with to bow out and make us look bad. I think there's nothing wrong with givin' them the business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 When I came here I was very bitter towards x-tianity, and it felt really good to know that there was a place that catered to my feelings. I have to agree with you on that point. When I first came here I was very VERY angry towards xtianity. Since I have started reading and educating myself (mainly on this site) I have lost most of my anger. It is like therapy of the mind. Plus it is always good to read other peoples opinions and not stay stuck with my own thoughts running wild in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I can agree to that. I'm not saying that we should immediately make radical changes, but i do think the OP is worthy of consideration. It hasn't escaped my attention that the mission of this site is to support exchristians, not to deconvert current ones. However, deconversion is a scary process for most (admittedly not for me, it was quite natural), and I don't think it would be going too far outside the site's mission to provide a "soft landing" for those who are willing to deconvert, even those who haven't quite admitted it to themselves yet. Just as it is darkest before the dawn, so too do many christians protest the loudest when they are in doubt. Try to see the world, and this site, from their perspective. What would you think? If they're just beginning to come out of their shell and see that the hostile world outside is more of a challenge than the delusional safety they are accustomed to within, then we've only served to marginalize them further, and perhaps even have created a fundementalist out of a moderate, who has seen us evil, evil exc's spewing our filthy blasphemy. I've been here awhile, 3 years IIRC, and I've seen this site evolve in a more moderate direction, thanks to the wisdom of the admins and mods. Come to think of it, I first stumbled upon this site (I was already an exc at the time) looking for free internet porn, he he . A radical presentation of an ideology only serves to alienate and marginalize those opposed to it. If we can show them we're not so bad, that we, for the most part, live normal lives, are capable of living moral lives without religious dogma, and we aren't in a orgiastic satanic frenzy over here stabbing each other with pitchforks...well, I think we might just be serving a noble cause in helping those who might otherwise be unwilling to free themselves from that which is truly evil, the bonds of christianity (oh, hell, why not throw Islam in there for good measure?) Let me reiterate about seeing thing from their perspective. Which would you find more welcoming, cool rationale, or ridicule? You (as an exc) already know you're not going to be reconverted, so what's the threat? Yes, they all too often test our patience with the same old tired, idiotic, pendantic arguments; but, look what those arguments do to US, they only reinforce us, make us stronger! I say let them come in. Make them feel welcome. Offer them a comfy seat and some refreshments. Then they'll be more inclined to stay and perhaps do as we romans do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 A radical presentation of an ideology only serves to alienate and marginalize those opposed to it. If we can show them we're not so bad, that we, for the most part, live normal lives, are capable of living moral lives without religious dogma, and we aren't in a orgiastic satanic frenzy over here stabbing each other with pitchforks...well, I think we might just be serving a noble cause in helping those who might otherwise be unwilling to free themselves from that which is truly evil, the bonds of christianity (oh, hell, why not throw Islam in there for good measure?) This is just a thought but maybe some people here could make a make a daily journal of an atheists life (or others here) so people could see that we (atheists and others here) are people just like them (religious people). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Well, I don't have a family to worry about when I surf the net. And I wouldn't go to this site at work, either. IIRC you can turn off the graphics in any modern web browser, and there is an option on this site to turn off the icons under people's names. Also, you can set most browsers to use a style sheet of your own choosing when you view sites. If you are using Firefox, there are also extensions to further customize your pages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorena Rodriguez Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 If he turns away perhaps he is not ready to deconvert yet. I think it should stay as it is. Its bolder that way. I am with you, Warrior_of_god. I came here when I was still doubting. And I ran away as fast as I could, actually. Then I went to other forums with a milder approach, and when I was ready to call myself an ex-christian, I came right back here. This forum, I think, was created to be a heaven for people who have downright rejected christianity, a support group, a place where we can say whatever we please. If people deconvert by coming here that's a bonus. Like everything else in life, this forum could be better. But I like it just the way it is, as it's been of great help to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhampir Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Realistically, I was ex-c before I actually truly deconverted, so when I found this place, during that process, I was quite ready to have my newfound lack of belief validated by the wealth of info I came across here and other places. That being said, recognize the types of people who come here as new deconverts. A lot of them are angry. A lot of them are quite anxious to use the info they've just learned on those foolish enough to cross them (I know I was). Basically, what you have is a bunch of personalities ready and willing to defend their positions and that is a guaranteed source of conflict. Additionally, it helps to be able to ridicule the religion in order to take away the sting of having been misled for however long it was. And considering that the mission statement is to encourage ex-christians, and to ease others into deconversion, I think it safe to say that this site targets those whose spiritual journeys are already underway. This site probably does come on a little strong, but there are plenty of other resources for those who need an entry level course in religious criticism. I don't think those who are ready are going to be scared away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I personally wish the whole thing was more generic looking. It's hard for me to be able to look at this site unless my entirely family is out or something. I imagine that would be true for some others. I can sympathize with that. Now that I'm living in a dorm with a catholic roomate I feel I have to plan my time on this site to when she's out to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation and possibly becoming a "lounge dweller" (those who dislike their roomates so much they sleep in the student lounge). But I don't find it too much of a problem, she's the outgoing type, I'm not, so I usually find some decent roomate-free time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I am sympathetic for both views. Certainly I would never want to be less than bold whenever possible but I also easily understand the shyness of many others. Truth is... if they are thirsty, they will find drink. Hopefully Screetch! Personally... I made a conscious decision to choose an inoffensive avatar that I thought would appeal to the average believer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizard Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 So, you do what I did before my family knew I came here..you scroll up a bit, and its hidden. Now, its a source of conversation for us.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artur Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mick Posted October 22, 2006 Author Share Posted October 22, 2006 Hi Lizard! That is exactly what I have to. Scroll the think up and hide it. Hey, that other Christian site I met you on is whacked out huh? I posted some stuff on it last night. All those crazy Universlists that hijacked it teaching them that there is no Hell were led there by me! It cracks me up. It's funny, now that I know it is all a myth, I feel like the ones who try to belive only part of it are more pathetic. (Though I stronly sympathize. Belief in Hell is disgusting in 2 major ways IMO. First, if you have a human heart, you become utterly heart sick over it, how could it be? And Second, you have no heart and think it's great that your Heavenly Daddy is going to use the rest of us a firewood to keep you warm in heaven. I am so surprised at how many Christians DO think that way. I always kind of thought most were like, basically sick over Hell and the whole faith really.) Nice to hear from you. So, you do what I did before my family knew I came here..you scroll up a bit, and its hidden. Now, its a source of conversation for us.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WakingUp Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 I am a fairly new deconvert...from fundamentalist Christianity. My main fear is Hell, though it's losing it's grip thanks to reading her and other places. This forum has been a lifesaver for me, however, I still scroll down quickly so the rest of the family doesn't see the BIG Ex-Christian and the Jesus/Bible pic. My husband knows my spiritual beliefs have changed but I don't want to be questioned about the site yet, as I'm still working through things. Also, my youngest daughter would be very disturbed. She is 12 and I haven't really had a deconversion talk with her. However, I can go either way with the idea of changes. WakingUp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mick Posted October 22, 2006 Author Share Posted October 22, 2006 Hi Waking, My little children are 10 and younger. I live in constant conflict because they are still in the process of being brainwashed in every part of their life. My wife is still in denial. I told her I was agnostic recently, she seemed accepting for like a day. But then she talked with some fundies who "ecouraged" her by making her think I am just struggling and still a Christian. How recent is your deconversion? Have you told your oldere children? Christianity really sucks. I actually battled a fundy in three different threads on a sports site late last night. I fucking killed him. I find that battling them, really reinforces how false it is. Their inability to defend their God is astounding to me. Talk more later. I am a fairly new deconvert...from fundamentalist Christianity. My main fear is Hell, though it's losing it's grip thanks to reading her and other places. This forum has been a lifesaver for me, however, I still scroll down quickly so the rest of the family doesn't see the BIG Ex-Christian and the Jesus/Bible pic. My husband knows my spiritual beliefs have changed but I don't want to be questioned about the site yet, as I'm still working through things. Also, my youngest daughter would be very disturbed. She is 12 and I haven't really had a deconversion talk with her. However, I can go either way with the idea of changes. WakingUp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 I agree with Lizard. I read this site at work, occasionally, and I just scroll up a little bit...lol. No one is any the wiser after it... My manager is a bit lax, so she probably thinks that I just like to read what people are saying. Everyone thinks I'm a christian by default, anyway...So they might think I am debating all of you heathens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fallenleaf Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 If the underlying issue is the graphics and you not wanting people to see them. Use firefox, download ad-block, and block all the images on this site that would offend others. I do that for Christian forums I visit. It's as easy as a right click and you've got a cleaner page with no offensive stuff. And no one has to change anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WakingUp Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Hi Mick, My oldest two daughters are 20 and 18 and yes, they know I'm exploring many things and am no longer fundamentalist Christian. One daughter, 18, is agnostic. Her decision is what blew the "mystery box" I had stuffed plum full all to pieces. The 20 year old, is looking at Buddism and other religions....finding her own way. Our 15 year old son reads Isacc Asimov and all kind of philosophers, so I'm sure he is considering many things. Good Luck with your young ones. At this point, I want to steer my 12 dd in the direction of independent thinking and let her make up her mind. Waking Up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lamont Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 LOL, I was feeling that the graphic is much too. When I'm at work from far it looks like a christian site and I think people are starting to think I'm a Jesus freak because they always see the graphic and that big cross on the book the dark side, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 The other thing is I might want a person who is still a Christian, but struggling with questions, to be able to come here and read. The thing is the first time they come, they would "dequalify" the site as reasonable simply because it would seem offensive to them. You might be forgetting that lots of people on this site came here because they were questioning their beliefs while they were still a Christian (I did), but they didn't get offended and run away. Personally I think of all the sites I visited, this site has the most information and reading materials (like the testimonies) which are invaluable. So if I hadn't have found this site, I don't know maybe I would still be a Christian (well.... maybe not, lol). The one thing I do miss a little, is we used to get a lot more Christians that would come here to debate, like really hardcore fundies, and that was pretty entertaining. I don't know what happened but it seems we don't see too many like that here anymore.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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