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So Much For That Marriage...


crazy-tiger
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So my wife decided to "explore" Christianity...

 

So my wife decided to "give it a try" but ask some hard questions...

 

So my wife decided that the answers to these questions were the basic apologetic crap I've been hearing about for years...

 

So my wife decided that Christianity is 100% true and I'm going to hell...

 

So my wife decided to do her best to bombard me with attempts to convince me to be a Christian...

 

So my wife became offended when I refused to become a Christian...

 

So my wife began to remove anything that is possibly non-Christian from the home...

 

 

 

 

The marriage is dead, it's no longer a home to me, and she's making my life hell. So, I've decided to leave...

 

Which somehow makes this all my fault. :shrug:

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I'm sorry but I feel if she really loved and supported you she would respect your opinion and not try to control your opinion.

 

Maybe if you are gone for a little while she may decide to compromise :shrug:

 

Only you know what to do.

 

It is your life.

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That must be a tough decision. *hugs* Perhaps a separation would be good for her, make her see what you really mean to her. :( I hope she grows out of it, many adult converts do after the initial euphoria.

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So my wife decided to "explore" Christianity...

 

Great....

 

So my wife decided to "give it a try" but ask some hard questions...

 

Ugh...

 

So my wife decided that the answers to these questions were the basic apologetic crap I've been hearing about for years...

 

BARF!!! How is that even possible?

 

So my wife decided that Christianity is 100% true and I'm going to hell...

 

Jeez...

 

So my wife decided to do her best to bombard me with attempts to convince me to be a Christian...

 

She has that little respect for you?

 

So my wife became offended when I refused to become a Christian...

 

So my wife began to remove anything that is possibly non-Christian from the home...

 

Offended? Wow...she didn't throw out your stuff did she?

 

The marriage is dead, it's no longer a home to me, and she's making my life hell. So, I've decided to leave...

 

Which somehow makes this all my fault. :shrug:

 

Of course it is.

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Damn, C.T. Nothing worse than trying to find common ground when your partner's up in the clouds somewhere.

 

That's too bad. Didn't your wife pop in here and say hi about a year or so ago?

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Crazy,

 

I believe for some people, the drifting of two people is insufficient grounds to initiate divorce. In those cases, people create an obvious division that will act as a surrogate cause.

 

It could be that your wife is doing this.

 

Being married to a fundie would certainly challenge my marriage. I chose my wife knowing that she is not capable of being fundie. (She is a liberal christian and knows my history. I know her personality.)

 

Nonetheless, if two people want to make it work, I believe it can.

 

I think you need to ask youself if you have something worth fighting for. That is your call.

 

Even if you feel you have something worth fighting for, you then need to ask your wife if she wants to fight to keep your relationship together. Don't accept the standard answer that a good christian is obligated to give. Read her heart not her words.

 

Perhaps this forum is not the place to explore that, I understand.

 

If she matters to you, get counselling.

 

Now... if she is intentionally thwarting the marriage and you think she wants it to fail... don't be nieve. Get good advice on divorce. My brother got screwed trying to appease the woman who was determined to divorce him.

 

Mongo

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Crazy,

 

I'm extremely sorry to hear about this. My father had to divorce my mother because he couldn't compete with god. It must be one of the most frustrating brick walls to be up against. :banghead: My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry for these troubles.

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Ugh - my condolences, CT. I was once in a relationship that felt the awful pressure of religious difference. If other factors didn't end it sooner, the religious problems would have.

 

My best wishes to you that you only go up from here :)

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I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have to go through this, CT. It reminded me so much of what I had become as a wife during my last leg of messianic christianity. I was getting rid of the *worldly* things, anything that caused me to think of "make no images", sold all my jewelery, burned books that I'd collected over the years that didn't pertain to my God, listened to messianic music, only, and had the satellite service discontinued (absolutely no television for over a year).

 

My husband went along with it, just to keep the peace, but eventually, because of my extreme delusional beliefs, it drove a wedge between us. He, in my *spiritual eyes*, wasn't living up to being the husband I thought he should be. He didn't *love* his wife the way Yahshua/Jesus loved his church, but we didn't believe in divorce, so we lived in utter hell and it almost destroyed us.

 

It took another year of studying, of countless hours of research, and endless doubting after my husband became very ill, to the point that the doctors gave him a year to live, for me to walk out the church doors of my mind. God was in hiding and I suddenly found myself being self-reliant. It took us another 2 years to get ourselves sorted out, and we just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary, and we've never been happier.

 

Whatever the outcome, I hope the best for you and yours.

 

Religion kills.

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The marriage is dead, it's no longer a home to me, and she's making my life hell. So, I've decided to leave...

 

I can hear them already... PRAIIIISE JEEEEEBUS! :banghead:

 

Sorry to hear that pal. What a pile of shit... another life (couple? Family?) ruined by morontheism :vent:

 

 

This really scares me. What do you do if your partner suddenly decides to become a Christian?

 

To even think about it is nauseating to me.

 

Fortunately, after the things morontheists have told my dear Islington after one of the hardest times in her life, the risk of her falling for the death cult is infinitesimally small :fdevil:

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Guest Firehawk

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I've had an important relationship wrecked because an ex's family couldn't accept my decision not to be pulled into their cult.

 

Just out of curiosity, which strain of the Xtianity virus did your wife decide to "explore" ?

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Thanks all... I wasn't expecting any replies, I was just letting out some frustration. (hell... who wants to read about my boring life? :scratch: )

 

Anyway... She's not blaming me for the divorce because I'm an Atheist... she's blaming me for it because I'm not trying to save that which we BOTH admit is dead... :twitch:

 

She hasn't thrown my stuff out... yet, but I gather that'll just be a matter of time though. She has thrown out a lot of stuff that I collected over the years before I met her... (that full collection of Star Trek: OS novels was pretty close to my heart and she's ready to throw that lot out now. :vent: )

 

I don't know if she cares about my opinion, especially since she's been 'volunteering' me to help at her churches Fellowship meetings... :ugh:

 

The divorce is already going through, uncontested... Neither of us is really at fault, it was dying before she started exploring Christianity.

 

I've made so many changes over the last few years that I'm no longer who I was 12 years ago... which is ironic since she wanted me to change like this but also wanted me to be the person I was 12 years ago... (Logic really isn't her strong point)

 

Something tells me that someone spending almost every waking minute of their life with the Pastor or someone from the church is going to be someone that's not going to see reality any time soon....

 

Oh, and she's managed to become a Pentacostal.

 

 

 

Tell you one thing though... if I hear her come out with one more seriously fucked up "explaination" as to why I'm to blame for Jesus being strung up, I'm going to scream. :vent:

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Figure I'd better add a couple of extra bits of info here...

 

 

The marriage is well and truely dead... we came to the conclusion that we just don't love each other that way. It's more like the love you have for a family member and we don't really fancy shacking up with a family member... :)

 

I've found someone else... and she's a member here. (imagines everyone trying to work out who it is... :D )

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Figure I'd better add a couple of extra bits of info here...

 

 

The marriage is well and truely dead... we came to the conclusion that we just don't love each other that way. It's more like the love you have for a family member and we don't really fancy shacking up with a family member... :)

 

I've found someone else... and she's a member here. (imagines everyone trying to work out who it is... :D )

 

I can totally relate - I married someone who was "just a friend" believing what the Christian authors all tell you about being "in love" being a "Hollywood lie" and that if you pick a good person "God will give you love for them". Guess what?! Didn't work! If you guys don't love each other, I think you're wise to get out. We have one life, and it's short.

 

I'm happy for you. :) I think it's cool that you met someone here. I actually think getting to know people via the internet is better, assuming they're themselves of course, as I'm sure she is. Think about it: if you date someone, you do what? Go to dinner? A movie? Places you don't really talk to the other person much. Online, you talk for hours (or at least I have) and really get to know someone. I wish you luck.

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I'm happy for you. :) I think it's cool that you met someone here. I actually think getting to know people via the internet is better, assuming they're themselves of course, as I'm sure she is. Think about it: if you date someone, you do what? Go to dinner? A movie? Places you don't really talk to the other person much. Online, you talk for hours (or at least I have) and really get to know someone. I wish you luck.

 

Well, we didn't meet here, I just followed CT here cos I was in a crazy stalker mood one day :grin: Unfortunately, I couldn't find his bunny...

 

Seriously tho, I think i'm being myself, but its not like either of us is going into this 'blind' so to speak, we've spent quite a bit of time together iRL, and both know that this is what we want, this is what makes us happy, etc.

 

Besides, I don't have any religious leanings, so I think things will be ok :lmao:

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Well, we didn't meet here, I just followed CT here cos I was in a crazy stalker mood one day :grin: Unfortunately, I couldn't find his bunny...

That's because I don't have a bunny...

 

 

Now, a tiger, on the other hand.... :wicked:

Seriously tho, I think i'm being myself, but its not like either of us is going into this 'blind' so to speak, we've spent quite a bit of time together iRL, and both know that this is what we want, this is what makes us happy, etc.
*puts the cuffs on Xaru*

 

Yep... it's what makes us happy... :HaHa:

Besides, I don't have any religious leanings, so I think things will be ok :lmao:

I dunno... you do seem to get a rather religious expression on your face at times..... :woohoo:

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I'm kinda chiming in late here, CT, but that sucks. I'm sorry to see it happen. You're always the guy that makes me laugh here at Ex-C, so I feel for ya. Hope everything works out for you and Xaru!

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I've made so many changes over the last few years that I'm no longer who I was 12 years ago... which is ironic since she wanted me to change like this but also wanted me to be the person I was 12 years ago... (Logic really isn't her strong point)
Dude, I'm pretty much on the same road that you're on here...

 

Would you mind drawing me a map so I know which way to turn?

 

:ugh:

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Can't speak for anyone else, but I wouldn't want to go through the adjustment period again. My wife and I have discussed this often when whistfully pondering the unponderables. It seems the romance kind of peters off after the first couple of years, but it takes years to get used to one another's quirks and to get truly comfortable with one another. The romance thing would be nice to feel again, but the tradeoff is pretty heavy; at least that's how we see it. Perhaps the freethinker's ideal marriage is to find the one who will be your best friend and then let each other have flings on the side; best of both worlds, no? Probably shared too much for a public forum here.

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:(

 

Crazy-Tiger, I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's disappointing when the life you have worked to build with a person shows no signs of continued construction, and de-constucts instead.

 

Try no to think of it as time wasted...but as valuable relationship experience gained. Good luck in your new venture with Xaru.

 

Keep all playtoys nice and clean. ;)

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