crazy-tiger Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 I've made so many changes over the last few years that I'm no longer who I was 12 years ago... which is ironic since she wanted me to change like this but also wanted me to be the person I was 12 years ago... (Logic really isn't her strong point) Dude, I'm pretty much on the same road that you're on here... Would you mind drawing me a map so I know which way to turn? To be brutally honest...? The way to turn is away and as soon as possible. But then, I'm in a pretty cynical mood about that kind of thing right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sithprincess Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Can't speak for anyone else, but I wouldn't want to go through the adjustment period again. My wife and I have discussed this often when whistfully pondering the unponderables. It seems the romance kind of peters off after the first couple of years, but it takes years to get used to one another's quirks and to get truly comfortable with one another. The romance thing would be nice to feel again, but the tradeoff is pretty heavy; at least that's how we see it. Perhaps the freethinker's ideal marriage is to find the one who will be your best friend and then let each other have flings on the side; best of both worlds, no? Probably shared too much for a public forum here. Well, all I can say is if all marriages end up like this, with no more connection between two people than that of just complacent friendship, NO THANKS! I don't think there has to be romance every day (though putting romance in is nice), but surely there has to be something more. I married my "friend" and I've been unhappy. I love someone deeply, and there's a big difference between what I feel for him and what I didn't feel for my husband. And if all that turns into just friends, well then, I say screw it and everyone should be alone and just go around and have convenient relationships when they feel like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 Okay... Everybody can shut up now... Y'all're hittin' a little too close to home here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubilant Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 Perhaps the freethinker's ideal marriage is to find the one who will be your best friend and then let each other have flings on the side; best of both worlds, no? You are right, you can't speak for everybody nor can I...lol As a "freethinker", IMHO, I have the best of both worlds but not in the way that would be your ideal. After 14 almost 15 years of marriage and two children, not only is my husband my best friend but also my greatest and only lover. Our sex life is awesome and our home is happy and my family is the absolute most important thing in my life. I have the ideal life...for me. To each his/her own though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 Oh, and she's managed to become a Pentacostal. I feel your pain. I left an eight year marriage to a fundy Pentacostal about 3 and a half years ago. Both of us were born into the church, but I had a time of falling away and coming back. She's just been in it from day one and has never doubted once. You know, it's hard to say what to do in a situation like yours, because there are greater odds that someone who enters the church as an adult will leave the church. Of course, you've said the relationship was dead even before she started the church shit, so yes, get the hell out. It's great that you found someone else. I hope you have moved out already though. I don't know if you're in a no-fault state or not, but if you aren't, be careful about the new relationship before the divorce is final. If she wanted to be a bitch, she could claim infidelity on your part and take you for everything you've got. Hopefully you're in a no-fault state though and that won't be an issue. Hopefully too, she wants out as bad as you do and won't do anything to drag it out any longer than it has to be. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotBlinded Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 So my wife decided to "explore" Christianity... Oh man CT! I'm so sorry to hear that. I remember you guys as being happy and seemingly having fun alot from your posts. That just sucks. Maybe she will realize how miserable the both of you are come to her senses? Damn.... ...I say screw it and everyone should be alone and just go around and have convenient relationships when they feel like it. That's my slice of pie right there! Oh, and CT, I hope you and Xaru will be happy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sithprincess Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 Perhaps the freethinker's ideal marriage is to find the one who will be your best friend and then let each other have flings on the side; best of both worlds, no? After 14 almost 15 years of marriage and two children, not only is my husband my best friend but also my greatest and only lover. Our sex life is awesome and our home is happy and my family is the absolute most important thing in my life. I have the ideal life...for me. This gives me hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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