mwc Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 I cried that I had no shoes until I met a man that had no feet. Your's may be an extreme case, but I would have rather had father troubles than having some drunk driver murder my father when I was only 4 years old. So then...did a drunk driver murder your father when you were four years old? mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi LF, I've been in your situation, sort of, so I understand. My ex is worthless excuse for a human being also. Scum like my ex and you dad, don't deserve to walk the planet. Whenever I would hear in the news that someone died in a fatality, but they wouldn't release the name, I would hope that it was my ex and was disappointed when it wasn't. I still daydream about his death, slow agonizing disembowelment. You and I would never do anything like that, but, yes, we do think about it, alot. I don't think the anger and resentment ever fade, you just get used to it. The only thing that helps the situation is time, doing the best you can to get things settled and in order, but it's all drama and a lot of waiting, not knowing how it's going to turn out. What is important and I wish that I would have known this, is that they enjoy making life as miserable as possible for anyone who is connected to them even if you haven't seen them in years. You need to not only be concerned with the here and now but any possible thing that he could do to your family in the future. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trancelation Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 LadyFeline: When I was a young boy, my father taught me the concept that somebody else always has it worse than you do. Indeed, he more than TAUGHT the concept: he enforced it regularly. Any and all of my problems that I faced were pushed to the wayside by him when I went to him for encouragement or help, always with the citation that "someone else has it worse." So for a good portion of my life, I suffered oberwhelming depression. I beat myself, choked myself, and hurt myself in a myriad of other ways just so I could FEEL. As it turns out, just because someone else may have it worse, does not mean that you should ignore your problems altogether, sweep them under the rug, or "ignore them," as the Daveian philosophy of this thread seems to be going. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary suffering because someone else doesn't want to hear about your problems. DEAL with your shit. Face it. Accept that it is real. Running from the pain only makes it worse, especially if you try to convince yourself that by simply cutting it out of your life and going "Ding! Pizza's done!" will solve it. Your dad sounds like an asshole, and this is coming from a guy that knows a thing or two about asshole dads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Never mind. You guys just want to whine about someone instead of actually help someone. I'm out of this thread. That sounds like a good idea. Sometimes people simply come here to vent and let out their frustrations. They're not necessarily looking for answers, just for someone to listen and empathize with them. I do it myself. I already know there are people out there that have it worse than I do. That doesn't mean I need someone reminding me of that fact every time I feel I need to vent to my online friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 LadyFeline, Seems like we're in the same boat. Going through the same thing myself - Asshole of a dad decides to up and leave after 20 years of marriage for some whore in the next state. Plus he plans to dump all the financial problems on mom, not even offering to help with my college tution (i actually may need to drop out). He was a recovered alcoholic for many years but now out of the blue he's started up again. Honestly I wish he would just drop dead. That way at least I could have the chance to miss him and not dread having to talk with him. Hang in there, okay? ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 I think Dave was trying to help, but when someone hasn't experienced being fucked over their entire life, it's just hard to relate to people who have. Trancelation, I can so relate to everything you said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin webmdave Posted February 13, 2007 Admin Share Posted February 13, 2007 And of course, my advice is free and you get what you pay for. Please feel free to toss it out completely. Dave, consider this the utmost polite advice for you right now: Shut the fuck up. Consider that from the admin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 *Hugs* Everybody has the right to be angry about things at times and even to be angry at people at times. We are all human and are not always going to be shiny happy clappy people. Venting online is certainly better than committing murder (although I recommend playing a video game and slaughtering the heck out of the bad guys, preferably in a game that allows PVP, for stress relief). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin webmdave Posted February 13, 2007 Admin Share Posted February 13, 2007 You know... Fwee's right, the last person who needs someone to step in in her defense is LF, but Jesus Christ, Dave. You can be a real fucking piece of work sometimes. I second that comment. Sheesh. I'm going to have to change my name. Vent all you want, LF. If I were you, I'd be furious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Heya LF.. My Old Man had several problems somewhat similar to what your situation with your Dad. Learned to despise the fuckstain and got to point when I was large enough in size, 15, left his place and didn't look back. Can't tell you, advise much, or give any good homolies on subject. The only thng *now* I would want is to have his ass alive for half an hour to meet his grandson.. What I will say, despite the 'burn the fuckin' bridge' Davidian advise is "don't". Once burned from your end things you may need *someday* won't be around. Do I claim clairvoiance and ability to see? Nahhhh... What I do know from experience, when the Old Bastard is finally, really d-e-d, dead, then it and life is cast, and all too final. Will say that hate is a strong emotion, and it will rip you apart if allowed to grow. Not saying forgive the peckerwood for his shitty treatment of you.. Try not to let prior and *now* make you what you'll eventually become. You've gotta a lot of good.fuckin'.life ahead of you. Shit like this set of events will fuck up your enjoyment of your "it all". You've got my numbers.. k >+1 on the Bosses advise..< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 All I can say is damn that sucks, LF. Here's to hoping the bastard gets his in the end, with any luck it will be with a sandpaper condom. Here's to hoping even more that things turn towards your mother's way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknowing1 Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Lady Feline, so sorry for all the trouble that you have gone through. What a jerk. I can relate to what your mom is going through. My sister did the same thing to her husband several years ago. Went to visit a friend in Florida, came home for a couple of weeks, told him she was going back to visit and then called him from Florida saying she wasn't coming back. I felt so sorry for her husband. She treated him like dirt and to this day I still think she is a b----. It's going to be tough on your mom for awhile and while she might say she doesn't care deep down she might. Just try to be there for her as much as you can. Mom needs a good attorney and if she can't afford one there are some groups out there that will provide services either on a sliding scale or even for free. If he has retirement anywere make sure she gets a piece of that too (sometimes lawyers forget to take that into consideration) an Approved Domestic Relations Order or a Domestic Relations Order, whichever suffices in your state will do it. She can even have it state that he is to name her beneficiary of any life insurance policies. Take care of yourself Lady Feline and hang in there. Feel free to come back and rant anytime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Never mind. You guys just want to whine about someone instead of actually help someone. I'm out of this thread. I once attempted to help out a friend via online discourse. But when I realized that I had no computer, I was crushed. That is, until I met a man with no fingers... Later, Dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 What a crappy situation, LF. Not much from me on the advice end, other than be there for your Mom and brothers emotionally. If you can't do much otherwise, that will still be a big help. They know they aren't alone in this. You know... Fwee's right, the last person who needs someone to step in in her defense is LF, but Jesus Christ, Dave. You can be a real fucking piece of work sometimes. Then you can just kiss my ass. I offered sincere, honest, help and you guys act as if I just raped her. Someone even offered the same advice that they chewed me out for giving. Your guys would make Jerry Springer proud. Sounds like Dave needs some Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyFeline Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 What I will say, despite the 'burn the fuckin' bridge' Davidian advise is "don't". Once burned from your end things you may need *someday* won't be around. Perhaps someone should have told that to Robert. He burned the bridges first, by running away to his little Floridian truckstop Jezebel and not even having the balls to tell mom he was leaving her, and by making my brothers persons non grata, among other things. He made the choice to leave his family. He burnt the bridge, and I don't give a rat's rump now. If he ever has the balls to come crawling to me for something, the only answer he'll get is a door slammed in his face. My only goal, now, is to help my mother and brothers somehow. And if that means finding a way to move her out here to Indiana (which wouldn't be too hard, actually... she just has to want to) then I'll do it. If she sells the house and the property, then she doesn't have to worry about the fat bastard anymore, and if she has a job, then she won't have to worry about his filthy money, either. And, while I know she'd like to work in her field (hybrid grains), she would need to move out West for that, and that's not going to happen for a long time at this rate - but I know that she could get a decent job and a decent house here within six months... Once I get some designs worked up, I'm going to see about selling things through a site like CafePress.com to work up a little money for her in the time being. And if I could find someone who could supply her with free hay for the animals, that would be even better. But, until then... yeah, the best I can do is be there for her. Thanks, guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Ah, another fellow Hoosier. Your description of it as "Middle of Nowhere, USA" is correct! How far away does your Mom live? Is she opposed to moving? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyFeline Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 Mom lives about six hours away, in rural northwestern IL. As for moving, I'm not sure how willing she is to do that, though she's expressed a desire to do so. I suppose it all hinges on if she can keep her animals, especially the horses, or not (I'm not kidding when I say she'd rather live in a barn and keep the beasties, than live on a property with no room for them) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clearview Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 LF, if mom's horses should need a place to stay for a while please let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eponymic Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Once I get some designs worked up, I'm going to see about selling things through a site like CafePress.com to work up a little money for her in the time being. And if I could find someone who could supply her with free hay for the animals, that would be even better. But, until then... yeah, the best I can do is be there for her. Thanks, guys I'd love to see them! Let us know when you get them online. Until then, hope everything works out for the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyFeline Posted February 17, 2007 Author Share Posted February 17, 2007 LF, if mom's horses should need a place to stay for a while please let me know. *nods* I will, thank you. ...I would just have to warn you about Mac, first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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