Unknowing1 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Darn, I am so sorry GG. I wish this hadn't happened to you. There isn't much I can say to make it better but please know my thoughts and heart go out to you. Your kids will eventually come around but it is going to take a lot of effort on your part, just don't give up on them. I'm thinking that perhaps they are probably mad at you because you moved out and therefore they are probably equating that to everything being your fault. Which I don't believe for a minute that it is. Based on what you have said to have stayed would have meant you would have to be someone you aren't. Living life like that can be awful. Whatever you do when talking with the kids try not to put your wife in a bad light and she needs to do the same. The kids don't need to hear how this was her fault or this was your fault. Regardless of their being mad and hurt right now they love you both. You mention that all of your friends are Christian. Are there any who are more liberal than others that share some of your same beliefs about life in general (leaving Christianity out of it) that you can talk to? If not I'm going to suggest talking with a therapist. The reason being is that you need to have someone to talk to. A therapist will treat what you tell them confidential and they will listen to what you have to say, provide input you may never have thought of on your own and will help you arrive at decisions. The best part of talking to a therapist is that they aren't going to emphathize with you and give you what they think you want to hear just because they are your friend. They are going to be a bit more objective. Also, do you have any hobbies or anything that you find interesting such as playing sports or volunteering? Those are some things that you can do where you might find some friends to hang out with. Good luck to you GG. Things will get better, it will just take time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NearlyInsane Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Urg, that does sound miserable, GG. You're right, things will get better over time, but that knowledge does little to help right now. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, till things get a bit less nightmarish. I've found that AA saying "one day at a time" is useful for all manner of problems. I know it's not the same as RL friends, but you can talk here as much as you want if it helps. I'd be glad to have a PM conversation w/ you. In fact, I'm a bit in the dumps myself right now. My problem w/ my boyfriend resolved itself in a similar way, tho in the end it has nothing to do w/ religion. Today is my birthday, & we'd had tentative plans to go see a band we both really like tonight. But all week he's been pretty withdrawn & had only said a few words to me thru email, so I asked if he was still interested in going to the show. He replied that he didn't think so because he's trying to get some tree in his yard cut... On a Friday night?!!! So I get the triple whammy of 1) having my b-day plans blown, 2) being confronted w/ how shitty this relationship really is, & 3) having to think about the shitty state of my relationship on my birthday. I'll probably be sitting in a bar by myself after work today trying to decide whether or not to attend the show on my own. I know it's nothing to what you're going through, but just know you have a kindred spirit out here that cares about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Can't help but think of this as another example of religion destroying, not keeping together, a family. I hope things get better for you. I know through my separation (and eventual divorce) I had good days and bad. It was my child that kept me going....but I went through some awful Hells before I got my life righted again. On the topic of believing wives, my wife, whom I've known for 3 years, and have been married now for 5 months, has started to comment on my anti-christian stances. She was not raised a devote Christian, but her fondest memories of her grandparents were of sleeping over their house, then going to church on Sundays. So, I guess I am starting a process of dealing with my beliefs, while taking into account her feelings too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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