euphgeek Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I just read the thread that was closed last month where people were talking to Princess Keesha and some admins were considering banning her. I think that if you ban her you'll be cutting off a very good source of entertainment. Just don't take her too seriously and have fun with your responses to her. If you continue to ask her questions you'll get a whole bunch of entertaining responses, such as that hell has opened a wing on Venus, AIDS came from the Spiral Nebula Ganna on an asteroid while eating some popcorn to keep it alive on the trip (which is part of a very humorous denial of evolution), and that Jesus visits their church every week in person. One example happened when I openly blasphemed the Holy Spirit (I said that the holy spook fucked Mary). Ever since then they've called me a blasphemer who can't be saved, who must burn forever, etc. Every time they do that it makes me laugh. If you can remember to laugh while reading her posts, it won't bother you and you can elicit even more entertaining responses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 If anyone were going to ban anyone it would have happened long ago. I don't question Kevin's decisions. He knows Dave's wishes for these forums frontwards and backwards. I think he gave very solid reasons for closing the thread. I guess the threads must still be there for you to get your laughs so I guess you're happy. I haven't seen Keesha since that thread was closed but I don't read everything and she might have been around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 'geek, She's in no immediate danger of a *ban* as of yet. Thing is, the "lady" tends to start a post with something usable, then by I waste those precious few minutes of my life finishing it, the brain cells and receptors used are mush, never to be used again for taunting with alcohol. I'd prefer to kill my own thought processes rather than have a "My version of gaWff loves y'all and you folks gotta be brainy enuff to see IT!" try and reduce my withering IQ.. She can go ahead and try to earn a lengthy time out if she'd like, I hand those out like rancid chocolate candy at a UN rescue mission... kFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 I don't think she got banned, but it seems like she lost her interest in us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 You should see the full name of his cult! FUCK --------- First Universal Christian Kingdon WET-----------World Evangelical Tabernacle WHORE -------World Holiness Organization for Religious Enlightenment CUNT----------Christians United Now & Tomorrow RAW-----------Religious Awareness & Wisdom SHIT-----------Supreme Holiness Interfaith Tabernacle And the last one, dead givaway: GOTCHA-------God's One True Church of Holy Assurance I just dug this out of an older thread, added the translation (couldn't resist) aren't these all the church names associated with this person? Does anyone at all believe this is anything more then a big leg pulling? Raise your hand if you think that person is for real... I just say this because I was surfing "it's" posts here, and the level of lunacy makes this so obviously humor, yet several seemed to be posting serious responses... lol lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 Skip, The only reason I brought it up was that the idea of banning her had been brought up on that thread. I know that fundie trolls can be aggravating and yes, if you talk to her she comes off as very arrogant, but if you take it with the sense of humor I'm sure it's meant with, she can be very funny. If you give her free reign to post whatever she wants, she is hilarious. And I'm saying that from experience, having read and responded to her and her group's posts on Usenet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 Michael, That's an excellent example of what I'm trying to say. And if you notice, that post you quoted was in fact written by me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Michael, That's an excellent example of what I'm trying to say. And if you notice, that post you quoted was in fact written by me! Yeah, I noticed! I agree with you on this btw, it is a great laugh, it's even funnier when people get him going LOL But I too believe it is "intended" to be funny, it's just so obvious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Keesha Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I don't think she got banned, but it seems like she lost her interest in us. Are you kidding? I pray for all of you every day. I can't begin to tell you how sore my knees get sometimes. The Lord has actually revealed Himself to at least a few of you all over again, allowing you to shrug off the numbness of unbelief -- and all in response to my sincere petitions on your behalf. I tried to post something here about a week ago, replying to a member named Michie who lost her Faith in God, but it was deleted without mercy. What's a God-fearing girl to do -- especially when she only wants people to now what True Christians are really like? I want all of you to know that True Christians are not your enemies. We sincerely care about you and want you to be genuinely fulfilled in life. I realize that a lot of you have had disheartening experiences with pseudo-Christian "churches" and their hypocritical "pastors." Let me assure you that our Holy Church is nothing like theirs. At our Church there's too much genuine healing, praising, prophesying, testifying, singing, and speaking in tongues to allow any kind of deceitful dealing. The Lord walks among us every week. The lame throw down their crutches and begin dancing in the Godly Glow. Until you've experienced the Presence of God for yourself, I beseech you not to give up on True Religion altogether. Believe that you may know! All my love and God's too -- Crown Princess Keesha Direct Descendant of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Princess.... That your ISP tracks lead right back to the biggest cause of headaches I have on Webmaster's Boards makes daFatman VERRRRRY grumpy... I won't out your ISP, but will say that the IntarWeb on Trainin' Wheels is a good start for hellraisers who don't want to get caught or busted. If yer a regular being *funny*, have at it... kFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted November 22, 2007 Author Share Posted November 22, 2007 Skip, She's not a regular, but she is being funny. And don't worry about outing her ISP. This group admitted to being on AOL a long time ago because they once gave money to an ex-gay ministry. Hey that reminds me, Princess Keesha, there are at least a few homosexuals on here. Why don't you tell us how God feels about them? And tell us what some members of your church are doing about it. Thanks for coming back and I hope the mods don't delete your posts or ban you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I don't think she got banned, but it seems like she lost her interest in us. Are you kidding? I pray for all of you every day. I can't begin to tell you how sore my knees get sometimes. The Lord has actually revealed Himself to at least a few of you all over again, allowing you to shrug off the numbness of unbelief -- and all in response to my sincere petitions on your behalf. I tried to post something here about a week ago, replying to a member named Michie who lost her Faith in God, but it was deleted without mercy. What's a God-fearing girl to do -- especially when she only wants people to now what True Christians are really like? I want all of you to know that True Christians are not your enemies. We sincerely care about you and want you to be genuinely fulfilled in life. I realize that a lot of you have had disheartening experiences with pseudo-Christian "churches" and their hypocritical "pastors." Let me assure you that our Holy Church is nothing like theirs. At our Church there's too much genuine healing, praising, prophesying, testifying, singing, and speaking in tongues to allow any kind of deceitful dealing. The Lord walks among us every week. The lame throw down their crutches and begin dancing in the Godly Glow. Until you've experienced the Presence of God for yourself, I beseech you not to give up on True Religion altogether. Believe that you may know! All my love and God's too -- Crown Princess Keesha Direct Descendant of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba Could you explain to us in detail your interpretation of the "trinity"? This ought to be good... hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Keesha Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Could you explain to us in detail your interpretation of the "trinity"? This ought to be good... hehe      It might surprise you to know that Our Holy Church, which was founded by the Lord Jesus Christ among the Black Jews of Galilee nearly two millennia ago and is still administrated by descendants of the same people, doesn't insist that its members accept the still somewhat controversial Doctrine of the Holy Trinity. It is not clearly defined in the Holy Bible -- even though we accept the so-called Comma Johanneum (I John 5:7-8) as Divinely Inspired Scripture. It is primarily a Johannine Doctrine, and the Apostle John's is only one voice among the Biblical witnesses to God's Glory.      Essentially, the Doctrine of the Holy Trinity describes the three principal ways God relates to His Creation. The Holy Trinity is fundamentally an aspect of the human perception of Divinity, not of God's Sacred Character Itself. God is fundamentally One, as stated unequivocally in Deuteronomy 6:4, but He is also so Holy and Pure that He refuses to interact with most of His creations on a one-to-one basis. (The prophet Moses was an exception to this rule.) Hence the Holy Trinity.      God the Father is therefore the Transcendent Person of the Holy Trinity concerned with Truth, Justice, Holiness, and Perfection. He is largely isolated from earthbound humanity, because of it natural disposition toward committing sin. God relates to His creation primarily through His Holy Spirit, which traditionally manifests as a Mighty Wind, otherwise known the Breath of God.      As the Immanent Person of the Holy Trinity, the Holy Spirit is responsible for sustaining God's creation and linking the souls of True Christians worldwide in a common bond of Faith and Obedience to God's Holy Laws. God communes with His Faithful Servants by way of the Holy Spirit, clarifying the True Meaning of God's Word to any who will listen to Him. That's why those who willingly blaspheme the Holy Spirit as Euphgeek has done cut themselves off from God's spiritual sustenance forever. At Pentecost the Holy Spirit entered into human flesh and initiated the Divine Ministry of Glossolalia or Speaking in Tongues, which continues to this day in Our Holy Church. The difference is that True Christians speak True Tongues, such as Marathi and Hopi, instead of the monosyllabic babbling one often hears in pseudo-Christian congregations.      God the Son is the physical manifestation of the Spiritual Godhead. He interacts with matter through His acts of creation, salvation, and judgment. He even took on human form, suffered grievously at the hands of pagans -- not Jews -- and died to demonstrate His Victory over the flesh, the world, and the devil. Non-Christians -- including most pseudo-Christians -- misunderstand the True Significance of Our Lord's death, and indeed of death in general. Death is not the cessation of life, but instead a relocation of the spirit. On the Holy Cross of Calvary, Our Lord's Spirit ultimately left the physical plane and re-entered the Spiritual Realm of God the Father and God the Holy Spirit, having conquered the flesh. He quickly but briefly returned to the fleshly realm to prove His Power to the faithful. The Lord Jesus regularly appears to the Faithful in His True Church and even performs miracles there almost every week. If that doesn't happen in any of the so-called "churches" you've visited that's probably because none of them is God's Only True Church of Holy Assurance.      I hope this necessarily brief explanation was "good" enough for you, Michael. Although it's true that God planted hundreds of booby traps in the Holy Bible to test your faith and mine, He will gladly reveal His Sacred Truth to anyone who sincerely seeks it in a spirit of humility and trust -- but not in one of mockery or arrogance. That doesn't mean God Almighty is in any way the "author of confusion" (I Corinthians 14:33), as some unbelievers have alleged, any more than nature itself can be considered a source of confusion for withholding its many secrets from the casual observer. Remember, Princess Keesha is here to help you find the Way! You need wander no more. All my love this Thanksgiving -- and God's too Crown Princess Keesha God's Faithful Follower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 ahhh you never fail to please! Thanks for the response, please do share crazy with euphgeek too, he needs a response! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 ... God's Only True Church of Holy Assurance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 The Lord Jesus regularly appears to the Faithful in His True Church and even performs miracles there almost every week. Princess, Currently I have another Christian that wants to prove God's existence and that Christianity is the real faith by praying to God for a miracle for my son. There is a deadline for this miracle in mid december. If it doesn't happen, are you willing to take up on the challenge next? The challenge is simple: you pray to your God for a miracle, that my son walks again. And the challenge also contains the condition that I don't have to believe, but you are the praying believer who will bring this to your God and your God will do the healing and nowhere in the process do I have to believe first. If that miracle happens, I promise you that I will convert. Are you interested? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Could you explain to us in detail your interpretation of the "trinity"? This ought to be good... hehe It might surprise you to know that Our Holnksgiving -- and God's too Crown Princess Keesha God's Faithful Follower Christ that's 37 seconds I'll never have back.. kFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Keesha Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Princess, Currently I have another Christian that wants to prove God's existence and that Christianity is the real faith by praying to God for a miracle for my son. There is a deadline for this miracle in mid-December. If it doesn't happen, are you willing to take up on the challenge next? The challenge is simple: you pray to your God for a miracle, that my son walks again. And the challenge also contains the condition that I don't have to believe, but you are the praying believer who will bring this to your God and your God will do the healing and nowhere in the process do I have to believe first. If that miracle happens, I promise you that I will convert. Are you interested? No. Almighty God is not any man's -- or woman's -- genie. God obviously afflicted this child with the inability to walk for a reason. Both of you are invited to join Our Holy Church, pay your tithes at least a year in advance to demonstrate that your family isn't just interested in scooping up some fast faith healing on the fly and then reverting to a life of unbelief and sin, and then gradually learn about the workings of the Lord from True Christians. In the fullness of time, God may or may not heal the child's affliction. He usually heals people who can best serve Him and His Divine Purposes once they're delivered from their infirmity. If the child can better serve God in a wheelchair, then so be it. If Our Holy Church's trained exorcists discover that the child's affliction results from demonic possession, as many diseases do, then a Holy Exorcism may do the trick for him. There is a modest charge for that service. Casting out demons requires extensive training. If you're going to bargain with God, there has to be a benefit in it for Him too. All my love -- and God's too -- Crown Princess Keesha Holloway Holy Woman of God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Princess Keesha used to post at my old Religion is Bullshit site. At the time she annoyed me, but yeah, she can be very funny. Glory! Hey there, Princess Keesha! (It's Brother Jeff, if you remember me.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Hey there, Brother Euphgeek! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 No. Almighty God is not any man's -- or woman's -- genie. God obviously afflicted this child with the inability to walk for a reason. Both of you are invited to join Our Holy Church, pay your tithes at least a year in advance to demonstrate that your family isn't just interested in scooping up some fast faith healing on the fly and then reverting to a life of unbelief and sin, and then gradually learn about the workings of the Lord from True Christians. In the fullness of time, God may or may not heal the child's affliction. He usually heals people who can best serve Him and His Divine Purposes once they're delivered from their infirmity. If the child can better serve God in a wheelchair, then so be it. If Our Holy Church's trained exorcists discover that the child's affliction results from demonic possession, as many diseases do, then a Holy Exorcism may do the trick for him. There is a modest charge for that service. Casting out demons requires extensive training. If you're going to bargain with God, there has to be a benefit in it for Him too. Ah. Now at least I know you're a spoof. To everyone: Princess Keesha is not real. Just FYI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Keesha Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Princess Keesha used to post at my old Religion is Bull**** site. At the time she annoyed me, but yeah, she can be very funny. Glory! Hey there, Princess Keesha! (It's Brother Jeff, if you remember me.) Yes, Brother Jeff, I remember you. You have a distinctive way of spelling Our Lord's Name and Title. I don't believe I ever posted anything on your personal site, however. That was probably Dr. Thurgood Tucker, who offered to perform an exorcism on you last year. He's in hot water with God's One True Church of Holy Assurance right now and my parents may initiate disfellowshipment proceedings against him any day now. Please don't accept any offers of healing or cleansing work from him if you're ever so inclined until you get the green light from me. He's been accused of violating Our Holy Church's teachings on the maintenance of the Sacred Generative Organs and must subject himself to discipline before he can return to the Lord's Service. I'm sorry if I annoyed you. I really like you and want to help you find what's truly missing from your life. All my love -- and God's too -- Crown Princess Keesha Holloway God's Faithful Servant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Keesha Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Ah. Now at least I know you're a spoof. I am nothing of the kind! I am a Bible-Believing True Christian Full Gospel Witness. You may have never encountered a bona fide True Christian before. I am different from the others, but unlike them I'm the genuine article. I have a direct hotline to God Almighty. To everyone: Princess Keesha is not real. Just FYI. Of course I'm real. What do you think I am? Chopped chitlins? Now you can say you know a True Christian even if you never could before. You can't expect me to be part of the herd. I'm the Lord's Little Black Lambkin who never went astray! All my love -- and God's too -- Crown Princess Keesha Holloway Direct Descendant of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba Coming soon to a Holy Theocracy near you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 My guess is it's a form of catharsis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 Princess, Currently I have another Christian that wants to prove God's existence and that Christianity is the real faith by praying to God for a miracle for my son. There is a deadline for this miracle in mid-December. If it doesn't happen, are you willing to take up on the challenge next? The challenge is simple: you pray to your God for a miracle, that my son walks again. And the challenge also contains the condition that I don't have to believe, but you are the praying believer who will bring this to your God and your God will do the healing and nowhere in the process do I have to believe first. If that miracle happens, I promise you that I will convert. Are you interested? No. Almighty God is not any man's -- or woman's -- genie. God obviously afflicted this child with the inability to walk for a reason. Both of you are invited to join Our Holy Church, pay your tithes at least a year in advance to demonstrate that your family isn't just interested in scooping up some fast faith healing on the fly and then reverting to a life of unbelief and sin, and then gradually learn about the workings of the Lord from True Christians. In the fullness of time, God may or may not heal the child's affliction. He usually heals people who can best serve Him and His Divine Purposes once they're delivered from their infirmity. If the child can better serve God in a wheelchair, then so be it. If Our Holy Church's trained exorcists discover that the child's affliction results from demonic possession, as many diseases do, then a Holy Exorcism may do the trick for him. There is a modest charge for that service. Casting out demons requires extensive training. If you're going to bargain with God, there has to be a benefit in it for Him too. All my love -- and God's too -- Crown Princess Keesha Holloway Holy Woman of God But didn't he heal your friend, Ebonica Bradlaw-Hughes' arthritis? She's not a member of the church. Or at least she said she wasn't at the time. Sunshine said that she was healed "easily through prayer" by her "Master" (post can be found here). Hey there, Brother Euphgeek! Hi, Brother Jeff! Good to see you here again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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