Annoying Bible Verses.

[Odin]

I also hate the "Professing to be wise, they became fools".

 

This verse suggests, that human wisdom is foolishness.

 

Christians often use that, to stay in their little willful ignorance corner.

 

I also hate the "The fool says in his heart there is no God".

 

If by 'fool', they mean freethinker, who questions everything and demands evidence, then yes. The fool has said in his hart, there is no God.

[xandermac]

Isa.40:31 They that wait upon the lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings as eagles; They shall run but not be weary; They shall walk and not faint.

 

I waited 49 years but nothing happened. I never got wings and I did get mighty weary.

[Legion]

Matthew 5:28 - "But I say unto you, that every one who looks upon a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

 

I don't know whether to hate it or love it. It makes a sin of an urge which can't be completely controlled. Which makes it despicable. Yet through this verse I bagan to see the lunacy of it all. So I owe a lot of thanks to this verse.

[elana]

I Peter 3:1 - "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives."

 

I know of too many women keeping themselves in worthless to down right abusive marriages in order to follow this one particular 'crap' of a verse.

 

elana

[JeffXL]

I can't stand the whole damn human-hating book.

 

Mythra has a magnificent response to "The fool says in his heart there is no God"-- "The wise man says it out loud."

 

My response used to be, "And if you don't believe in *my* imaginary friend, *you're* a stinky doo-doo head."

 

None of the three gods of Xtianity have done anything for humanity. The human-made sciences and arts have.

[Guest Zenobia]

Where do I begin.... I hate the whole contradictory piece of crap. No one knows who really wrote it, and it's irrelevant anyway since over the centuries whatever was originally written has been re-written so many countless times and most certainly changed at the whim of whoever was in charge of copying the "canon" - which excludes all the aprocrapha which are probably equally irrelevant - but interesting why they was excluded nonetheless.... *sigh* And that doesn't even begin to deal with the cultural and linguistic contexts which have been completely twisted out of shape.... *sigh AGAIN*

 

But if I had to pinpoint a few scriptures that REALLY WAX MY TAIL, it would be these:

 

I would have to say all of Paul's writings offend me, particularly "Wives, submit to your husband calling him LORD."

 

The Book of Judges is one of the most bloody, violent chapters in the bible - one example is Judges 11:31 - "then it shall be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the sons of Ammon, it shall be the LORD'S, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering." And GUESS WHO APPEARS? The guy's daughter. So she mourns her virginity because daddy has to sacrifice her to GAWD...

 

And how about that whole story of Lot and his daughters...? While he's in Sodam, a bunch of perverts come knocking on his door and he throws his own tender, young virginal daughters to the perverts rather than sacrifice god's angel??? Like, the angel who is invested with godly powers, couldn't have dealt with the perverts so he lets them rape his daughters instead?? Now that's fucked up...

 

And what about this bullshit scripture Genesis 38:9 - which is used as a basis for the whole catholic doctrine against birth control. Some dude "pulled out" a little too soon when screwing his brothers wife so GAWD smote him. So this means

...???

 

You're better off watching Monty Python's Meaning of Life if you're looking for answers...

 

And Life of Brian sums up the new testiment pretty nicely.

[dunany77]

The one that pisses me off hands down is good old Psalm 23 : he makes me lie down in green pastures? He leads me beside quiet waters? He lets me walk through the valley of the shadow of death? His rod and staff comfort me? What am I supposed to be, some kind of brainless sheep who can't possibly live without the great shepherd god of the dessert?

 

This verse is so overused to show what a xian's relationship with god is supposed to be like. No matter what the circumstance, good or bad, you can always count on the big shepherd dude to stand by you and never leave you - ever! Such brainwashing and manipulation. God sure loves to be worshiped by mindless automatons that never question his authority and always do as they're told. But watch out if you break the rules - because that rod and staff will come down on your head to put you back in your place!

 

Now isn't that comforting?

[jackbauer]

Another, less known one.

 

"No man shall rob my glory" (don't remember the book and all that jazz)

[R. S. Martin]

Yeah, I don't hate the John 3:16 one as much, but really, seeing it in the context, it's not wonder this belief made no sense to me. Hell, even as a kid, when I remembered stories in church about god approving Jesus's death to 'open the doors to heaven', I was like, "WTF, god can do anything, what does he need Jesus to die for?". The idea of an all powerful god who can do anything was always intriguing to me, but the Christian god doesn't fall the 'omnipotent' category. Same goes with the Noah flood and all the other instances where god cursed villages and ordered the deaths of his creation. If one could do anything, why be so limited?

That question bothered me as a kid in church too: how did jebus on a cross change anything? Everyone I asked said I'd understand when I was older. I'm 50 now and I still don't get it.

 

Actually, I'm not sure which part to highlight in this post. I could have said every word of it, just not as succinctly.

 

The thing is, when I was "older" I talked with my sister and she said, "Maybe we don't have to understand."

 

Talk about broken promises! God of the broken promise. How about that for the title of my book?

[Max]

In honor of Mothers' Day yesterday, let me add Proverbs 31, the passage on the "virtuous woman." You know, the one who spins wool, brings food from afar, awakes before dawn to begin cooking, buys real estate, plants crops, cares for the poor, raises her children so her husband doesn't have to... For some reason, churches always think this is a good Mothers' Day devotional, lest Mom start to get a little cocky.

 

BTW, whenever we do one of these bible verse postings, I use a bible website to find what I'm looking for. Don't you think that'd just drive them nuts if they knew?

[Guest Zenobia]

In honor of Mothers' Day yesterday, let me add Proverbs 31, the passage on the "virtuous woman." You know, the one who spins wool, brings food from afar, awakes before dawn to begin cooking, buys real estate, plants crops, cares for the poor, raises her children so her husband doesn't have to... For some reason, churches always think this is a good Mothers' Day devotional, lest Mom start to get a little cocky.

 

FUCK I hate that one! Our church didn't even wait until mothers day to drive THAT one home! They were always inserting that into the sermon or even building whole sermons just around that scripture! I hated that fucking bitch - she was soooooo perfect, neatly taking care of EVERYTHING without a complaint, while her husband got to slack off, play with his dick, and drink beer or brine or whatever they drank in the desert. There were girls in our church who EMULATED that passage. Shallow as hell, but they made their own clothes, cooked all healthy food, and kept coupon books in little shoeboxes in fucking alphabetical order with little fucking INDEX cards! They were "converted" and "godly" and walked around with rays of fucking SUNSHINE coming out their ass... *puke*

[Guest eejay]

They were "converted" and "godly" and walked around with rays of fucking SUNSHINE coming out their ass... *puke*

I haven't yet learned how to have rays of sunshine come out my ass, just farts and shit like most people. Glad to know there is a way to make it happen. Anyway your comment cheered me up after a bad day.

[Guest gocoldturkey]

Yeah, I don't hate the John 3:16 one as much, but really, seeing it in the context, it's not wonder this belief made no sense to me. Hell, even as a kid, when I remembered stories in church about god approving Jesus's death to 'open the doors to heaven', I was like, "WTF, god can do anything, what does he need Jesus to die for?". The idea of an all powerful god who can do anything was always intriguing to me, but the Christian god doesn't fall the 'omnipotent' category. Same goes with the Noah flood and all the other instances where god cursed villages and ordered the deaths of his creation. If one could do anything, why be so limited?

That question bothered me as a kid in church too: how did jebus on a cross change anything? Everyone I asked said I'd understand when I was older. I'm 50 now and I still don't get it.

 

That is a very good question. It is explained that in the Old Testament times, there were animal sacrifices that occur when people would sin. So if they would sin, they would have to sacrifice an animal and it's blood would spill. But the act of sacricing animals blood to God was working, because people were still messing up because after all, people were sinful and falling short of God's glorious standard. Ultimately, the relationship between God and man was broken, because man sin was ruling over them and they tried to reach God through human effort such as trying to live a good life. Because of that and the power of sin that it had over people, Jesus sacrificed his blood (being God's blood) on the cross for our sins, and that way it conquered death so we can have a relationship with God. So while we were dying to our sins, Jesus knew that we needed major help, and that is why died on the cross for us.

 

So pretty much animal's blood and our own sacrificing was not enough, something bigger needed to be done, and that is where Jesus came in. And through Jesus our sins can be conquered and have a relationship with God, and what Jesus asks of us, is to let him come into our hearts and take control of our lives.

 

But by the way a pretty cool bible verse that I think is really awesome is Zephaniah 3:6-20, preferrebly Zephaniah 3:15-17 . It is so bad.

 

" 6 "I have cut off nations;

their strongholds are demolished.

I have left their streets deserted,

with no one passing through.

Their cities are destroyed;

no one will be left—no one at all.

 

7 I said to the city,

'Surely you will fear me

and accept correction!'

Then her dwelling would not be cut off,

nor all my punishments come upon her.

But they were still eager

to act corruptly in all they did.

 

8 Therefore wait for me," declares the LORD,

"for the day I will stand up to testify. [a]

I have decided to assemble the nations,

to gather the kingdoms

and to pour out my wrath on them—

all my fierce anger.

The whole world will be consumed

by the fire of my jealous anger.

 

9 "Then will I purify the lips of the peoples,

that all of them may call on the name of the LORD

and serve him shoulder to shoulder.

 

10 From beyond the rivers of Cush

my worshipers, my scattered people,

will bring me offerings.

 

11 On that day you will not be put to shame

for all the wrongs you have done to me,

because I will remove from this city

those who rejoice in their pride.

Never again will you be haughty

on my holy hill.

 

12 But I will leave within you

the meek and humble,

who trust in the name of the LORD.

 

13 The remnant of Israel will do no wrong;

they will speak no lies,

nor will deceit be found in their mouths.

They will eat and lie down

and no one will make them afraid."

 

14 Sing, O Daughter of Zion;

shout aloud, O Israel!

Be glad and rejoice with all your heart,

O Daughter of Jerusalem!

 

15 The LORD has taken away your punishment,

he has turned back your enemy.

The LORD, the King of Israel, is with you;

never again will you fear any harm.

 

16 On that day they will say to Jerusalem,

"Do not fear, O Zion;

do not let your hands hang limp.

 

17 The LORD your God is with you,

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."

 

18 "The sorrows for the appointed feasts

I will remove from you;

they are a burden and a reproach to you. [c]

 

19 At that time I will deal

with all who oppressed you;

I will rescue the lame

and gather those who have been scattered.

I will give them praise and honor

in every land where they were put to shame.

 

20 At that time I will gather you;

at that time I will bring you home.

I will give you honor and praise

among all the peoples of the earth

when I restore your fortunes [d]

before your very eyes,"

says the LORD."

 

It is like seriously the coolest thing ever!

[Evolution_beyond]

Yeah, I don't hate the John 3:16 one as much, but really, seeing it in the context, it's not wonder this belief made no sense to me. Hell, even as a kid, when I remembered stories in church about god approving Jesus's death to 'open the doors to heaven', I was like, "WTF, god can do anything, what does he need Jesus to die for?". The idea of an all powerful god who can do anything was always intriguing to me, but the Christian god doesn't fall the 'omnipotent' category. Same goes with the Noah flood and all the other instances where god cursed villages and ordered the deaths of his creation. If one could do anything, why be so limited?

That question bothered me as a kid in church too: how did jebus on a cross change anything? Everyone I asked said I'd understand when I was older. I'm 50 now and I still don't get it.

 

Actually, I'm not sure which part to highlight in this post. I could have said every word of it, just not as succinctly.

 

The thing is, when I was "older" I talked with my sister and she said, "Maybe we don't have to understand."

 

Talk about broken promises! God of the broken promise. How about that for the title of my book?

 

I remember it being said in Sunday school, something about we might not be able to understand how it works but it doesn't mean we can't make use of it. Something like that anyway - the comparison being technological equipment we use even though we don't necessarily know how it works.

 

Funny thing is that I never actually realised that I didn't understand how Jesus on the cross worked until they said that. Once someone actually said "we might not understand how it works" - that's when I started thinking "yeah, how does that work anyway?"

[Evolution_beyond]

That is a very good question. It is explained that in the Old Testament times, there were animal sacrifices that occur when people would sin. So if they would sin, they would have to sacrifice an animal and it's blood would spill. But the act of sacricing animals blood to God was working, because people were still messing up because after all, people were sinful and falling short of God's glorious standard. Ultimately, the relationship between God and man was broken, because man sin was ruling over them and they tried to reach God through human effort such as trying to live a good life. Because of that and the power of sin that it had over people, Jesus sacrificed his blood (being God's blood) on the cross for our sins, and that way it conquered death so we can have a relationship with God. So while we were dying to our sins, Jesus knew that we needed major help, and that is why died on the cross for us.

 

So pretty much animal's blood and our own sacrificing was not enough, something bigger needed to be done, and that is where Jesus came in. And through Jesus our sins can be conquered and have a relationship with God, and what Jesus asks of us, is to let him come into our hearts and take control of our lives.

 

And you don't notice anything non-sensical about any of that?

 

Powerful God needs to come down and die to us in order to put us right with him.

 

And anyway, how does it work? How does sacrificing animals make us right with God? How does God sacrificing himself like an animal make us right with God?

 

I get that people were required to give up some of their livelihood to make amends with God. So I suppose that Jesus on the cross meant that we were sacrificing God incarnate in order to make up for our sin. But it still doesn't really make sense.

 

Anyway, how does God suddenly go from requiring us to make sacrifices for him, to being willing to make his own sacrifice in order to save us? I thought his love for us never changes.

 

And your whole argument seems to rest on the fact that animal sacrifice didn't change anything because we were still messing up and sinning. Well, newsflash! we still mess up and sin now - and that includes christians. So what exactly did Jesus dying solve?

 

Oh, don't tell me - it means we can get into heaven even if we do sin. So, tell me, how does Jesus dying on the cross allow God to forgive our sins rather than requiring us to make amends for them? Why does God have to kill himself (offer himself up to die) in order to allow himself to forgive us? How would that even work in theory?

 

See, it doesn't make any sense.

[Skiergirl24]

Jer 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you."

 

Thi s sorta goes along with the stupid fundy statement "God has a plan for you, God knows your destiny." To which, I reply: "Ah, I see. God's plan for Laci Peterson's son Conner was to be murdered in utero, and then while still in the womb, dumped into San Francisco Bay."

[jdog]

'......be transformed by the renewing of your mind'

 

Bollocks! I was transformed into a fembot like in the Austin Powers movie, the fembots got hypnotised by Austin's 'mo jo' until their heads exploded. Yup that's me, hypnotised by the babble's voo doo until my mind couldn't take it anymore and got fucked up and I had a break down.

 

'Know god know peace', my ass, more like, 'No god, know peace'.

 

I agree with Gabby and what she said in one of her posts, about xianity and bi-polar disorder not mixing well, I think that or any other mental or personality disorder, being an xtian just exasperates the condition ten fold. I have depression and general and social anxiety disorder and I tell you this religion did not help me one iota.

[jackbauer]

Yeah, I don't hate the John 3:16 one as much, but really, seeing it in the context, it's not wonder this belief made no sense to me. Hell, even as a kid, when I remembered stories in church about god approving Jesus's death to 'open the doors to heaven', I was like, "WTF, god can do anything, what does he need Jesus to die for?". The idea of an all powerful god who can do anything was always intriguing to me, but the Christian god doesn't fall the 'omnipotent' category. Same goes with the Noah flood and all the other instances where god cursed villages and ordered the deaths of his creation. If one could do anything, why be so limited?

That question bothered me as a kid in church too: how did jebus on a cross change anything? Everyone I asked said I'd understand when I was older. I'm 50 now and I still don't get it.

 

That is a very good question. It is explained that in the Old Testament times, there were animal sacrifices that occur when people would sin. So if they would sin, they would have to sacrifice an animal and it's blood would spill. But the act of sacricing animals blood to God was working, because people were still messing up because after all, people were sinful and falling short of God's glorious standard. Ultimately, the relationship between God and man was broken, because man sin was ruling over them and they tried to reach God through human effort such as trying to live a good life. Because of that and the power of sin that it had over people, Jesus sacrificed his blood (being God's blood) on the cross for our sins, and that way it conquered death so we can have a relationship with God. So while we were dying to our sins, Jesus knew that we needed major help, and that is why died on the cross for us.

 

So pretty much animal's blood and our own sacrificing was not enough, something bigger needed to be done, and that is where Jesus came in. And through Jesus our sins can be conquered and have a relationship with God, and what Jesus asks of us, is to let him come into our hearts and take control of our lives.

 

But by the way a pretty cool bible verse that I think is really awesome is Zephaniah 3:6-20, preferrebly Zephaniah 3:15-17 . It is so bad.

 

Sorry, but all I got from that was we are so bad and evil that the only way an all powerful god could make things right was to kill himself.

[Deva]

This is not a specific verse - where do they get this? GOD'S PLAN. "God has a wonderful plan for your life." How many times have we heard it? Gadzillion times. I call Bullshit!

 

In today's paper a tragic story of a stepfather who killed his little baby stepson - shaken baby syndrome. You have heard it many times - kid kept crying and he just couldn't take it.

 

All we hear from the distraught mother's church - GOD HAD A PLAN for that child.

 

All I can say is if that is any example of God's wonderful plan for a human life, I hate to see what he has in store for the rest of us!

[Guest Zenobia]

They were "converted" and "godly" and walked around with rays of fucking SUNSHINE coming out their ass... *puke*

I haven't yet learned how to have rays of sunshine come out my ass, just farts and shit like most people. Glad to know there is a way to make it happen. Anyway your comment cheered me up after a bad day.

 

Glad I made you laugh Girlfriend... you gave me a laugh too I haven't figured how to squirt sunshine out my ass either, but I swear those girls did it. Fuckin' halos on their heads too.

[Guest Zenobia]

 

snip

 

That is a very good question. It is explained that in the Old Testament times, there were animal sacrifices that occur when people would sin. So....

 

SNIP SNIP SNIP

 

So pretty much animal's blood and our own sacrificing was not enough, something bigger needed to be done, and that is where Jesus came in....

 

MORE SNIPPAGE

 

But by the way a pretty cool bible verse that I think is really awesome is Zephaniah 3:6-20, preferrebly Zephaniah 3:15-17 . It is so bad. ...

 

 

YET EVEN MORE SNIPPAGE

 

7 I said to the city,

'Surely you will fear me

and accept correction!'

Then her dwelling would not be cut off....

 

MAJOR SNIPPAGE - AND SOPPAGE UP OF VERBAL DIARHEA

 

 

9 "Then will I purify the lips of the peoples,

that all of them may call on the name of the LORD...

 

HOW MUCH MORE IS THERE....???????

 

14 Sing, O Daughter of Zion;

shout aloud, O Israel!

 

YES PLEASE SING, ANYTHING TO BREAK UP THE.... OMG IT KEEPS GOING.... AND GOING, IT IS THE ENERGIZER BUNNY OF POSTS...

 

It is like seriously the coolest thing ever!

 

FINALLY....

 

OK.

 

So... what, exactly, is your POINT???

[Deva]

So pretty much animal's blood and our own sacrificing was not enough, something bigger needed to be done, and that is where Jesus came in. And through Jesus our sins can be conquered and have a relationship with God, and what Jesus asks of us, is to let him come into our hearts and take control of our lives.

 

So, coldturkey how's that personal relationship with Jesus going for you? How's that working out in day to day life? Is the control firm or does it slip from time to time?

[dunany77]

That is a very good question. It is explained that in the Old Testament times, there were animal sacrifices that occur when people would sin. So if they would sin, they would have to sacrifice an animal and it's blood would spill.

 

Hey turkey, here are the ONLY two verses in the holy Babble that I LIKE:

 

Mark 3:228-29

28"Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they utter;

29but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin"--

 

Matthew 12:31-32

31"Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven.

32"Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

 

You see, the Holy Spirit is actually the spirit of Satan who is the Master of the known Universe. The Holy Spirit is the essence of evil and it enjoys possessing people it deems to be idiots so it can torment them on Sunday mornings by singing REALLY badly written songs with REALLY bad melodies. The Holy Shit is actually responsible for turning good godly pastors into adulterous, child abusing sex offenders on Saturday night, so they can show up Sunday morning and preach the good word of hell and damnation for anyone who steals a pack of gum at a convenience store!

 

The Holy Spit can also take the blame for keeping people in abusive marriages by convincing victimized women that it is their godly duty to submit to their husband, shut the fuck up and do as their told. I'd even go so far as to say the Holy Sprocket is solely responsible for possessing George Dubbya and making him lie to the entire fucking world so he could roll his tanks over to Iraq and kill, torture, maim and destroy an entire society for the crime of being born on top of a shit load of cheap oil!

 

In fact, the Holy Spirit is SO evil that I deny it and defy it whenever I can!

 

Fortunately for me, this crazy first century book claims that anyone who blasphemes its precious Holy Smoke can never be forgiven, which means that there is no reason for brainwashed bible thumpers to go out of their way to save my ass! Isn't it great!

 

On a side note, when I was 6 I used to sing a song that went like this: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" Apparently, the Holy Sock is VERY VERY sensitive and can't take a little bit verbal mockery! What a wimp!

 

Have a great day!

[Auracle]

Oh man, if that second verse was true, those pedopriests would be in a lot of trouble!

 

I should have added the 'adultery in your heart' one to the list as well because that is up there for sure. I couldn't even be angry without being guilty of murder, and many other sins. As an introvert like myself, I felt as if all my rights were being stripped away from me.

 

I don't know about that...after all it says thou shalt not lie with another man as with a woman - it doesn't say anything about lying (or is it laying?) with a little boy (or girl)..

 

I could have sworn I read somewhere that the Catholic Church didn't even used to consider pedophilia a sin (masturbation of course is one of the most horrid things you could possibly do, but if you diddle a little kid, well, that's ok, because at least you're doing it with someone else I suppose ) but when I tried a search I couldn't find it again. If anybody happens to know anything about this or finds anything about it, let me know, eh?