Why should women

[doomguarder]

We do not have guite the same system. If the parents or student have a fairly large income, the student does not qualify for aid or loans. In her case, her father has been included on all of her paperwork becasue he has been paying the fees. It will take a bit of time, I am not sure how long, before she can be concitered based on her income alone. Once that happenes she will be fine. She is going to have some income from the internship, but not enough to pay for housing and living expences at first.

 

UT austin is an expencive school. It costs about $25,000 per academic year to attend for Texas students, and $35,000+ for out of state and international students. This includes housing in a dormitory. Other housing would increase the cost.

 

So for a 4 year degree, $100,000 or so, more if you are not from Texas.

[Godless Dave]

Y'know, Lloyd, I think they do. I think they do and it scares them absolutely shitless. Maybe because they know they can't measure up. Maybe because independent, strong, powerful women change the status quo. I mean if a woman doesn't need you, she can reject you at will. You can't control her. You can't make her love and take care of you, which I often wonder if that's what misogynists want: a permanent mommy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I think that's true, but there's something even simpler at play. An independent, educated woman is more likely to have the financial and mental resources to leave a husband who neglects, beats, or sleeps around on her. A woman with 6 kids, no education, and no job experience who has been taught to submit to men might feel like she has to stay with a guy who treats her like dirt. Guys who treat women like dirt know this, so they try to mold society to produce women that will put up with their abuse.

[Godless Dave]

Btw - exactly how expensive is college in the US? I've heard ridiculous figures like US100,000. Gross exaggeration?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

That's accurate (for all four years, not just one year). US $35,000/year is common at private colleges and universities. That includes room and board.

 

The most common form of financial aid is a low-interest loan that you start paying off after you graduate (and if you go on to graduate school you can defer it until you're done with that). But you're eligibility is based on your parents income. The idea is that parents are expected to pay for their children's higher education. If your parents refuse to pay you usually have to live on your own for a few years to prove your parents are not trying to cheat the system.

 

Bottom line is - we pay through our nose in tax so that everyone can do what they want, even if their parents have cut off the financial lifeline.

 

That idea is anathema to a large segment of our population, whether its education, health care, or whatever. I don't know if a majority of US citizens feel that way but the ones who do are the most politically powerful. The assumption is that everyone would be a lazy dole-bludger if the government handed out money (unspoken assumption: especially black and latino people).

[doomguarder]

So she moved out of the dorm today into her own eff. apartment. Met mom, who came to help. Nice lady.

 

Dad and BF have cut her off. Dad went so far as to call the school and ask to be removed from her financial file. As Bro. Jeff would say, Glory! He did not know it, but having him on her financial aid papers was a great big nasty road block to her receiving any additional $$ for school. Now the FA paperwork can be submitted without considering his income.

 

So it is just getting better for her.

 

Daddy found out she was back in the dorm and tried to call me to get her room & phone number. I love being a private residence.

 

No, I am sorry, I can not give out that information, and no you can not come to be building to talk to her. We reserve the right to refuse entry to anyone.

 

Lovely. Just lovely.

[chefranden]

I could write you a novel regarding what I have been noticing over the years regarding families in churches.

 

Why don't you? I'd buy one.

[Luck Mermaid]

lol, smeg...

 

Well I'm glad to hear this girl is doing well.

 

 

But I was thinking about it - aside from being an asshole and harmful to her , this guy was withdrawing his own money - and while it's twisted, I think it's his right to do that. What's really harmful I think was trying to manipulate her into doing what he wanted - a parent's approval and a parent's attention and love are powerful bargaining chips.

 

This might be hard for her, and traumatic because of her father, but in the end she'll hopefully be, if heartbroken, stronger and even more able to stand on her feet than she already is. She came for an education, and she's figured out the rules of lease politics.

[Max]

Not hard to figure out why her parents are divorced! I think this gives mom a chance to pass along what she's learned about these kind of men.

 

The question isn't just "Why are women fored into roles they don't want?' but also, "Why are women's contributions to society denegraded?" Independent women contribute to the economy, science, humanitarian causes, and just about everything else. What is so awful about being a useful person?

 

This whole discussion sort of harkens to the comment in (my testimony about the conflict over using your "talents."

[Luck Mermaid]

I guess I only read half the thread last night - I'm glad she's doing better, and I'm happy for you Doom that you got to (politely) tell her Dad "ha ha ha you're a loser and you're all alone now with a loser never-to-be son-in-law! maybe you two can jerk each other off! which might help you to stop being so tyrannical and oppressive h a ha ha jerkoff!!"

 

So I am glad to hear she's doing better and that her father cleared everything up for her by being damn clear that she was all set legit and set up for financial aid, and also for saving her the trouble of making all those calls, world's greatest dad.

 

 

 

As for why people want to be oppressed or oppressive, I definitely think being an abusive asshole has something to do with it - stories again and again of battered women say "he got jealous if I talked to any guys, even the blind 98 year old guy I was taking care of when I volunteered at the home, and he would discourage me from seeing any of my female friends, and he'd try to keep me from communicating with them, and he told me I wasn't good enough to..."

 

I don't know why men do it, I know it's a system that involves women and men, but as for why men are involved in disenfranching women and girls beyond basic reasons like 'more goodies for me!', I'm not sure.

 

I once remember, in high school I think, watching a late night or early morning episode of Rush Limbaugh, and I was always seeing these commercials of him at the time with his famous quote "I am the most dangerous man in America [because I tell the truth] " or something like that... it was always "I am the most DAN-gerous man in America"...

 

and anyhow (remember that? "I am the most DAN-gerous man in America" ?), he once was talking about job shortages and saying how no one should be fired and how if people should be fired, employers should fire "only women". and there was a small, weak gasp in the audience, because I guess some of the audience members didn't automatically assume that men were entitled to jobs and pay. And he said the reason was because children needed more attention at home or there was a shortage of daycare or something, and the audience made noises of agreement as in "oh, I get it now. Hey - you're pretty smart!" And at the time I thought , "he's republican so he's evil - but he does have a point."

 

Only years later when I reflected back on that did I realize that it was ridiculous because father too are capable of raising children, and I'm sure there are more reasons, but it took me a few years to think back and go - hey wait a minute - that's stupid.