Poonis Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 I find it interesting to ask christians, and by asking, I mean as many as possible, just how one becomes a born-again christian. *Every* christian will tell you something that is slightly different from the last, and with enough responses, you will discover that the contradictions with each other are overwhelming to the point where what one christian says is the complete opposite of what another says, with both claiming to be born-again christians. Is this not absurd? (*similar thread deleted from christianforums) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Just as absurd as trying to nail down what EXACTLY you must do to be saved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poonis Posted July 27, 2005 Author Share Posted July 27, 2005 Just as absurd as trying to nail done what EXACTLY you must do to be saved. Even more interesting is not knowing whether 'being saved' and 'being born-again' are the same or two different things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Poondude - what DID you do to your hair? In the last church I was in, the pastor made a regular habit of accusing people who went to church three times a week of not being "saved". He would say that Jesus was roaming up and down the aisles looking for the real christians. His favorite verse was the "I never knew you" verse. We had people try to come down front and get saved over and over again. Sobbing and weeping and repenting of their self-will. They just kept getting convinced that the last one didn't take. I'd laugh. but it isn't funny. Not at all. It should be a crime to manipulate people like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Just as absurd as trying to nail down what EXACTLY you must do to be saved. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Vixentrox... IMHO... nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Being born again... as I've researched it... it seems to mean "you must be born again." No, not that you must go back into your mother's womb! I think that speaking to the people of that time, it meant they had to come back again. I know this is a controversial subject, yet I think there are strong inclinations, in the Bible, that there is something similar to 'reincarnation.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sokudo Ningyou Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 The biggest thing I've noticed that makes born-agains stand out is their unrelenting ego and their constant play-acting. I mean, my aunt is born-again, and all her "church" does is put on fucking religious plays. That's it. They don't even congregate as you would think; just put on plays. And harass people until they're ready to punch them to shut them up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Mistah Kotah! I know the answer! You just say the prayer in the back of the Chick tract and then Jesus will write your name in his book. Cool 'fro BTW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 In the last church I was in, the pastor made a regular habit of accusing people who went to church three times a week of not being "saved". He would say that Jesus was roaming up and down the aisles looking for the real christians. His favorite verse was the "I never knew you" verse. We had people try to come down front and get saved over and over again. Sobbing and weeping and repenting of their self-will. They just kept getting convinced that the last one didn't take. I'd laugh. but it isn't funny. Not at all. It should be a crime to manipulate people like that. Mythra, you had to be a Baptist. I went down that road for about a year and a half and from there began my long journey towards deconversion. God bless them Baptists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Just as absurd as trying to nail down what EXACTLY you must do to be saved. You are missing the point oh blessed Vixentrox. For it was Jesus himself that had to be nailed down in order for you to be saved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 This is a very interesting subject. Let's see what I can remember from my time as fundie... Born again, is when the spirit in you, which is a sinful spirit, dies and is born again to become like the Holy Spirit and not sinful anymore... oops, Romans say that you still are sinning after you are born again, so I guess it's not a truly non-sinful spirit you get after all! But hey, it's "born again", cool title, doesn't it count for something? Save, is the meaning that you are saved from the eternal punishment for your sins, so even if you sin, you got a "free from jail" card to use every time. That is you can now go on a sin as much as you want and you'd still go to Heaven at the end. Pretty neat, don’t you think? So how do I get these wonderful gifts? Well first you have to admit to yourself that God exists, and also Jesus exists, and not only that but also that Jesus died for you and was resurrected and paid for the sins you have committed. Basically Jesus is your "free from jail" card. And of course you have to believe everything the Bible says, but you don't have to read it or know what it says, only believe that it's truly the Infallible Word of God Once in a Life Time Chance to Get Everything Right Book. Actually the recommendation is to not read everything in it, it can get a bit gory sometimes... Next you have to confess Jesus to be your master, meaning you become his slave, now he can call you his bitch, and you will obey Jesus whatever he said in the Bible, told by unnamed authors and contributors, but not only what he supposedly said but also whatever Jesus will tell you on a daily basis through your mind, or through license plates on passing cars, or through high pitched propehcies from the old lady in Church, and you have to obey whatever it might be, like killing the filthy ungodly philistines, dance like a monkey or something similar. But be aware for false guidance from the Devil; rarely Jesus will tell you to give your money to the poor, he said it once in the Bible, but no one trust that to be correct, so keep your money, except for the 10th of your income that is supposed to be given to your Pastor. So it all comes down to "enter the zone", or actually "enter the twilight zone" by calling the number to your local Hoax Church that will guide you through the secret initiation process for your district, and you'll get all the free stuff, for only $9.99, for a limited time or as long as supplies lasts. Remember we’re changing the Salvation Procedure Flavor each season, so if you want the Cherry Flavor, you better call now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Born again, is when the spirit in you, which is a sinful spirit, dies and is born again to become like the Holy Spirit and not sinful anymore... oops, Romans say that you still are sinning after you are born again, so I guess it's not a truly non-sinful spirit you get after all! But hey, it's "born again", cool title, doesn't it count for something? Silly. The instructions are just not user friendly unless you got the holy ghost inside sorting it all out for you. If you had been a real christian you would understand. I mean, you would just know, that you know that you know you are saved. You know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Silly. The instructions are just not user friendly unless you got the holy ghost inside sorting it all out for you. If you had been a real christian you would understand. I mean, you would just know, that you know that you know you are saved. You know? Yeah, but you knew that I knew too. I was trying to fit in the Holy Goat in there too in my rant, but it didn't fit anywhere... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Yeah, but you knew that I knew too. I was trying to fit in the Holy Goat in there too in my rant, but it didn't fit anywhere... The only reason that you didn't do that, is because you knew that we all knew that it would have been a BAAAAAAAAAAAd joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 The only reason that you didn't do that, is because you knew that we all knew that it would have been a BAAAAAAAAAAAd joke. I thought no joke were to BAAAAAHD for you... Hehe! Since the Christians are sometimes illustrated as sheep, then it makes sense that it's supposed to be the Holy Goat, methinks... It just darn fits too well, not to be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Since the Christians are sometimes illustrated as sheep, then it makes sense that it's supposed to be the Holy Goat, methinks... It just darn fits too well, not to be true. I know that, and you know that. Heck, a lot of us here know that. But I wasn't sure if you knew that I knew that, so I was just making sure that you know. You know? <<I knew that I'd worm my way into that, somehow. >> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I know that, and you know that. Heck, a lot of us here know that. But I wasn't sure if you knew that I knew that, so I was just making sure that you know. You know? <<I knew that I'd worm my way into that, somehow. >> You got a good sens of knewmore (sounding like humor)... bad pun... sorry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I know that, and you know that. Heck, a lot of us here know that. But I wasn't sure if you knew that I knew that, so I was just making sure that you know. You know? <<I knew that I'd worm my way into that, somehow. >> Wow! You guys really did know that you knew that. Now I know, that you knew and so I now know that you must have been saved. You know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Wow! You guys really did know that you knew that. Now I know, that you knew and so I now know that you must have been saved. You know? I already knew that you knew that. You've just verified that you know. Now the question is, how did you know that we knew that you know what we now know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I already knew that you knew that. You've just verified that you know. Now the question is, how did you know that we knew that you know what we now know? The holy goat whispered it into my ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 The holy goat whispered it into my ear. Oh shit! I've started a new pseudonym for HG, I'm soooo going to HELL!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Oh shit! I've started a new pseudonym for HG, I'm soooo going to HELL!!! Good. You bring the beer and I'll bring the kabobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 What was this thread about, again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Neil Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Maybe I'm taking this ever so slightly out of context from the original question, but I've often asked this myself. How does one become a born-again Christian? How does anyone with even the most remote understanding of how the world works become a born-again Christian? It's like there's a duality in their thinking. They'll allow two completely different worlds to exist at the same time; one in which the stars are speckled in the night sky for our personal amusement and yet another in which other galaxies and planetary systems exist. I notice this even in moderate theism. My mother, who humorously considers herself a protestant (she's almost as secular as I am) has this dual fantasy/reality sort of thinking going on. She accepts certain Christian ideas, such as Heaven, Hell, angels, God, and stuff like that, but just a few months ago, she expressed her belief that we are our brains, and when the brain dies, we die. I don't understand how anyone can have such a duality. These are not compatible. I see born-again Christianity as an extreme example of this. How can they believe what they believe and live in today's world? How can they live in a microbial world and yet still put faith in a book that tells them that illnesses are the work of the devil? It's like they shut the thinking parts of their brains off when they're in church and then shut the religious parts of their brains off when they're in the real world. I don't understand how anyone could do this and not have their brains just explode. So yes, I guess I did take the question out of context, but it's the same question I ask whenever I think about dual thinking. How does anyone become a born-again Christian? How does anyone convince themselves that naturalism and science are both reliable and unreliable at the same time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Vixentrox... IMHO... nothing. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Good to know all the pedophiles, mass murders, Muslims, Satan Worshipers, rapists will be saved too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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