Mike D Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Last night I was kinda bored and didn't feel like being on the computer so I started channel surfing, and sure enough I ended up on TBN because I happened to catch two lines of former childstar-turned-fundy Kirk Cameron telling us why we need to educate our children on the Ten Commandments. According to Kirk, children *must* be made aware of the Ten Commandments as early as possible so we can teach them they are sinners! Urgent! The earlier we teach kids how bad they are, the earlier we can teach them about Jesus, who is their only hope of saving them from themselves. Kirk says the best way to drill this into their head is use cartoon-like pictures which illustrate the commandments (yeah i'll get right on that....i'll ask Kirk how to make a pictorial about adultry). Ray Comfort suggests that you act out Bible scenes with your kids, with emphasis on the cuter Bible stories (what, no sending in the hungry bears to eat the kids???). I don't have any kids, but if I did the last thing I am going to tell them is they are evil little sinners who deserve to be tortured and burned alive for eternity unless they believe a bunch of old stories are true. What happened to Kirk Cameron anyway? BTW, here's Kirk's website for your reading pleasure. Enjoy! (or not!) http://www.wayofthemaster.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 What happened to Kirk Cameron anyway? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, he was at a vulnerable moment in his life, and the cult sucked him in with its easy answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted August 5, 2005 Author Share Posted August 5, 2005 Well, he was at a vulnerable moment in his life, and the cult sucked him in with its easy answers. I guess so. I am not sure what's worse, turning to robbery, drugs and then suicide like that chick on Different Strokes, or becoming a fundy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Yeah, Brother Kirk. lol... I understand he gave his producers and co-stars a hard time on the set of "Growing Pains" after his glorious brainwashing and indoctrination... er, conversion. You know, the typical self-righteousness and stuff. I would LOVE to be around in a crowd sometime when he and Brother Ray go street preaching. Brothers Kirk and Ray also maintain a site at http://www.needgod.com. I did a glorious parody of it recently at http://www.needgawd.info. ...evil little sinners who deserve to be tortured and burned alive for eternity unless they believe a bunch of old stories are true But that's the message of Christianity! Unless we believe that God sacrificed Himself to Himself to save us from Himself and we believe that His beating and murder and subsequent Magical Undeadening of Himself magically cleanses us of the shit we've done that pisses Him off, we are destined to spend an eternity in a loving flaming torture chamber with a Talking Snake! What's so irrational and hard to believe about that? Brother Kirk is right! We've got to let the children in on the gloriously TRUE Bullshit about Kryasst as early as possible! Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted August 5, 2005 Author Share Posted August 5, 2005 But that's the message of Christianity! Unless we believe that God sacrificed Himself to Himself to save us from Himself and we believe that His beating and murder and subsequent Magical Undeadening of Himself magically cleanses us of the shit we've done that pisses Him off, we are destined to spend an eternity in a loving flaming torture chamber with a Talking Snake! What's so irrational and hard to believe about that? Brother Kirk is right! We've got to let the children in on the gloriously TRUE Bullshit about Kryasst as early as possible! Glory! Well praise Jesus brother Jeff, I am sold! I'll check your website out as well as Kirk's other one. How long has this guy been a Christian anyway? For some reason I thought he was just a recent convert.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 I am not sure what's worse, turning to robbery, drugs and then suicide like that chick on Different Strokes, or becoming a fundy.... What happened to Dana Plato is really sad. At least fundies are alive - physically at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Well praise Jesus brother Jeff, I am sold! Whoo-hoo!! Hall-lay-LOOH-Yah, Brother Mike! Welcome to the Holy Farter's Sky Family! Glory! How long has this guy been a Christian anyway? For some reason I thought he was just a recent convert.... Brother Kirk's been slaved for quite a while, since the late 80s or early 90s I guess, since he was still doing "Growing Pains" at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Holy mother of Fuck, look what I found on their site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 LMAO!!! Now there's a movie I gotta see! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Son of Belial Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 I thought you were joking but I looked at the source. It really is from the website!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted August 5, 2005 Author Share Posted August 5, 2005 Brother Kirk's been slaved for quite a while, since the late 80s or early 90s I guess, since he was still doing "Growing Pains" at the time. I don't know why but he strikes me as a newbie fire and brimstone preaching fundy literalist . Maybe it's that comment on his website when trying to defend a literal hell how it wouldn't be right if Hitler was merely laying in the grave knowing nothing instead of burning alive. Of course he conveniently forgets to point out that using his reasoning it would be true that Jeffrey Dahmer or any other child raping killer who asked Jesus to save him is now relaxing on a beach in heaven, maybe sitting right next to the kids he raped, murdered and ate Hey I like your website way better than Kirk's . Has Kirk e-mailed you yet and damned you to the flaming torture chamber for being such a bad boy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted August 5, 2005 Author Share Posted August 5, 2005 Good gawd, did that come from Kirk Cameron's website?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightflight Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 I don't know why but he strikes me as a newbie fire and brimstone preaching fundy literalist . Maybe it's that comment on his website when trying to defend a literal hell how it wouldn't be right if Hitler was merely laying in the grave knowing nothing instead of burning alive. Of course he conveniently forgets to point out that using his reasoning it would be true that Jeffrey Dahmer or any other child raping killer who asked Jesus to save him is now relaxing on a beach in heaven, maybe sitting right next to the kids he raped, murdered and ate. Or that Hitler's victims are also writhing in the flames. Funny, they never mention that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted August 5, 2005 Author Share Posted August 5, 2005 Or that Hitler's victims are also writhing in the flames. Funny, they never mention that. Yeah that's kind of warped justice there...... the jews killed by Hitler are burning in hell with him, while Jeffry Dahmer enjoys heaven with the kids he ate. And Christians give us a hard time because we don't believe this stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Has Kirk e-mailed you yet and damned you to the flaming torture chamber for being such a bad boy? Heh, no. But, I did email them (Brothers Kirk and Ray) the link to my parody site. I haven't heard anything from them so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Hey I like your website way better than Kirk's Thanks, Brother! Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Holy mother of Fuck, look what I found on their site. I'm... ...uh, what's the word for it? ...speachless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 I don't know why but he strikes me as a newbie fire and brimstone preaching fundy literalist . That's what happens to most of them who, as Brother Jeff puts it, get slaved in their late teens, early 20s. They turn into real holy rollers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP1283 Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 I feel sorry for Candice Cameron. It can't be fun having him as her brother these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 I feel sorry for Candice Cameron. It can't be fun having him as her brother these days. Well actually, I don't think Kirk's religious fanaticism bothers her at all. Candace is as fundified as her brother is! Check out her site: http://www.candacecameronbure.net And her Christian testimony (which I thought was funny in some ways, though I know she takes it very seriously, of course): http://www.candacecameronbure.net/testimony.php Check out her Statement of Magical Thinking too: http://www.candacecameronbure.net/faith.php (not at Candace herself, but at her absurd/ridiculous beliefs) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaoi Huntress Earth Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Yeah, Brother Kirk. lol... I understand he gave his producers and co-stars a hard time on the set of "Growing Pains" after his glorious brainwashing and indoctrination... er, conversion. You know, the typical self-righteousness and stuff. I hear that he didn't even invite any of the cast members to his wedding either. I feel sorry for those guys having to put up with that shit. Kind of reminds of this fundy girl who got the lead in the school musical and how hellish she made it for everyone. I would LOVE to be around in a crowd sometime when he and Brother Ray go street preaching. Now that would be an episode I wouldn't mind seeing. Kirk has to be one of the most smug fundies I ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quicksand Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 I've watched snippets of "The Way" here and there and I get outraged by the tactics those two employ. Basically ambush someone with guilt, get the guilt up, provide the answer to that guilt- Jesus (of course). They'll usually start with, "Ever tell a lie?" and go from there. Ridiculous and petty. Once they ambushed a gay man, telling him he was a sinner for being gay and tried to convince him otherwise. This guy was great... for every time they tried to warn him about HELL, this guy said that God was going to love him for who he was, because God is all about love. He repeatedly threw this up as a wall against Kirk's and Ray's petty extortion, and both were blunted. I had to laugh. The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented Hell. Bertrand Russell A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. Albert Einstein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 How many of us are completely desensitized to the image of a beaten man hanging from an execution device known as the cross? Yup, that's me. And Samson, and Jonah, and crazy ol' Elija. None of it registered even close to a BS alert or even a twinge of revulsion since they spoon fed it to me when I was yet a babe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Jeffrey D. Hey, don't I know you from somewhere. Yea, you! Actually, the sad thing according to Christian dogma, is that Jeffery Dahmer is saved because he asked Jesus into his heart. His victims were likely not christians and are all in hell, because he snuffed their lives out early. That's real christian justice for you. Yup. That poor Vietnamese boy is frying in the Hanoi Hilton Hell while Jeff is robing up for his "well done good and faithful servant" ceremony. Madame, I once again nominate you as emcee for the future ExC gathering. You always crack me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynical Realist Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Brothers Kirk and Ray also maintain a site at http://www.needgod.com. I did a glorious parody of it recently at http://www.needgawd.info. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I saw the sight a few days ago and I'm very hard to please when it comes to comedy but I loved it. Truly a great site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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