Guest mrmatt Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 When you were christian, what phrases and cliches which the fundies uttered constantly do you find most funny and annoying now when you hear them? My most aggrivating ones were things like: "God says it, I believe it, that settles it" or ''let go and let god'' or ''can i get an amen!'' or '"by his stripes.."' Add your quotes here so we can laugh at the stupid ways in which we used to talk, and sadly, we may know some people that still do - I know a few who still talk like this to me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 "It's not about you." It was the ultimate ad nauseum buzz phrase from that piece of shit book by that piece of shit Rick Warren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raul Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 #1: "God is love". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 If I ever was rebellious, my mother had this phrase: "We are going to have a 'Come to Jesus''. That is not a very pleasant thing to say since Jeebus ordered all his enemies brought to him to be slaughtered, but then again, my mother was never very bible literate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 God is good all the time and all the time God is good. *barf* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pineapple Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Substituting the word "coincidence" with the phrase "God thing". Example: It was such a God thing that I saw my old childhood friend at the post office yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlene Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 When everything in your life is turning to crap...don't worry about it, praise the lord anyway in all circumstances! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaturalSelection Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 We have "freedom in Christ"....ROTFLOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 "It's just a test..." So where is the pencil and paper? How much is this going to kill my grade? Did I pass? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazycatlady Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 There but for the grace of god go I. My mom always says this in such a serious way, as though it were divinely inspired and completely original each time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeradikle Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 "Jesus wants to love on you!" This phrase got used in every church I ever attended and it still makes no damn sense. "Unbelievers have a heart condition." o rly? Let's get a cardiologist in here, then. "You need to stop questioning and let god be god!" How exactly am I preventing an all-powerful being from existing? etc, etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 there's also "god works in mysterious ways". that was probably stupid. Why can't god just tell us what he's doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 "Divine appointment" rather than just a coincidence or right place at the right time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 "Let's have a word of prayer" inevitably many words of prayer "traveling mercies" as in "Oh Lord, grant Joe traveling mercies on his trip to Houston" "just" this is inserted between lines of prayer. As in "Oh Lord, just fill us with your presence, and just draw us to your feet where we can just worship your majesty" "a peace" as in, "The Lord gave me a peace about it", not sure why "a" is added "bless" a generic word meaning "do good stuff to ____" "come to know" as in "Oh Lord let Fred come to know you" or "Let us come to know the wonder of your love" "blessed" as in "I was so blessed to hear Mildred teach this morning" "spoke" or "speaks" as in "that verse really speaks to my heart" "bear witness" as in "That prophecy really bore witness to my spirit" (meaning I believed that what you said really came from God) "Touch not the Lord's anointed!" ripped from its context in the psalms, it is used by hack preachers to set themselves above being questioned about their stupid rules and exhortations. My reply as a believer was always "Ill do more than touch you you lying twit! You think you're the anointed one of God? That's Jesus' job." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedah Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 "Though shalt not tempt" end all beat all verse to lean on to avoid having to provide any sort of verifiable claim. "The lord spoke to me and *insert personal opinion here*" MY OPINION IS TRUE BECAUSE IT CAME FROM GAWD AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOU BE EVIL ! "The Lord works in mysterious ways" end all beat all cop out to avoid any kind of rational thinking whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 "If we keep our minds too open, our brains will fall out." What a lovely rationalization for not paying attention! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 "I can see the light" "Have you heard the word of gawd?" "Have you been saved?" These are just vague memories of things I heard from my childhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 "Jesus wants to love on you!" *shudders* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 "God has laid this on my heart..." "I just want to share this with you". - not specifically xian, but I still hate it. If you hate my guts, just say so plainly. "God loves you and I love you too" -- barf, get ready-- In all cases, just step back and brace yourself because somebody is getting ready to unload both barrels on you. Christians can store up hostility like nothing I have ever seen. Hell, it could have been something you did last week. They've taken all that time to stew in it and now they are going to "share it with you". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 "On fire for the Lord!" What, did Jeebus give them the clap or something?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted February 23, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted February 23, 2009 I had the "spirit of rebelliousness" among other things. I "rejoiced" to hear "He is risen" so I could reply, "He is risen indeed!" Some folks suffered the "demon of alcoholism" while others got "delivered." "Witnessing" with our "testimonies" and spouting the "sinner's prayer" was important. We did it all for a "lost and dying world." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest emil Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 My prayer is that y'all become Jesus freaks also... anything spoken in tongues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mrmatt Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Lol, some of these are funny as hell (no pun intended) How about ..." Matt, just let go and let God" - stop thinking basically and shut down the brain or, in open prayer " more of you God" - I wonder if I was the only one secretly saying "Less of you".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xandermac Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 The Lord will provide. He may not come in a hurry but he always comes in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker630 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 One that I heard as a Catholic kid quite a bit was ---------"The Lord will never give anyone a bigger burden than they can shoulder". Which of course is complete drivel. In reality it translates into "Shit happens dude" No matter what the outcome of any situation, it's always "God's will". Or "God has a plan for you, and your being sick with alzheimers is part of it". I love the one where they let God off the hook by saying someone with Down's Syndrome or a mental disorder was put here to "develop compassion in others". Isn't Christo-babble fun? You could lay out a boss game of charades playing with this stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts