Kathlene Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Howdy everyone. This is a thread about wisdom and how you got it and where you got it from. I am now 36yrs old, and to be honest I only got a bit of wisdom into my life in the past 6 years or so. I have been crippled emotionally in a frozen time machine from the stupid foolish mistakes I made in my 20s and earlier. It is only now that I have walked away from xtianity that I have been able to really open my eyes and assess my life for what it is. I think there is truth in that age old adage that wisdom comes from failures and mistakes. My problem is that if I could go back in time I would undo a lot of decisions I made. However if I was repeating my life, would I make those same mistakes again? You betcha, because that's where my heart was emotionally at the time and all the wisdom I had. It is only now that I have walked through those mistakes that I have found wisdom. These are some of the points of wisdom I have found and cherish. To listen and not speak is pure gold...and you can open a flood gate of words when you don't talk, from the other person. People love to fill gaps in the silence and just talk and talk. This wisdom has been invaluable when dealing with my 15yr old. and other people. Sometimes people don't even want you to say anything. They just want you to nod and offer them a cuddle. That is all that is required of you. People will always show their true colours...no matter how hard they might want to hide it. Wait, then wait some more before 1. offering an opinion. 2. making a life decision. The one who speaks the loudest and strongest is not always the wisest nor brightest. Listen to those who rarely speak. I have learnt that in my own life too. I have found loud opinionated people to be very offputting. I am more likely to listen to someone who speaks rarely..but when they do, what they have to say has more importance than a thousand words. I have learnt to use those same skills in my own dealings with people too. Always trust your gut instinct when dealing with people!! Oh how I wish I had of listened to that one in my 20s!! I am particularly keen to hear from older folks...I want to know there is hope for me yet. It is true though. The getting of wisdom does come with age and maturity. You aren't the same person as you were as a teenager or young adult. Im only going into middle age I think. So folks please tell me you do get smarter and wiser. I used to think that the good guys always won. Now Im not so sure . Bad guys often get away with a lot of stuff, but they lose what is most important. To me that is your own moral code and integrity. I have to remind myself of that all the time when I see the ''smarter', ie lazier people doing nothing at work. At the end of the day they win, but to me I would much prefer to have integrity of character any day than have a reputation for being useless in time of need. I want people to know that I am dependable and trustworthy. My character is the thing I own and it's the thing people will see reflected in me. That is the wisdom I have and cherish. So come on guys...tell me what you have learned and grown from in this crazy thing called life!! Oh, another bit of wisdom. A good bellyache from laughing is essential to daily living!! Sex can be a fun thing too without the guilt or deep emotional stuff that xtianity puts on it..what a big load of wisdom that is for me!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 8, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted May 8, 2009 If wisdom comes with age, I'm your guy. However, there are quite a few of us ignorant old farts out there, so mere age is no guarantee of wisdom. I've learned lessons from my past behaviors. Sometimes it takes a while to reach understanding. Sometimes I choose to ignore the lesson anyway. If you pay attention you find out what works and what doesn't, so mainly choose what works - but I'm not a fanatic about that. Sometimes it's just fun to do the wrong thing, and pay the consequences. What the many years have taught me: Learn empathy and employ it daily. Choose to be kind, rather than right. It's okay to be wrong (though I never am). You have one shot at enjoying life, so do it. Money spent most enjoyably is always spent on someone else. Recognize the humor inherent in our condition. Eat the ice cream before it melts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Kathlene, I'm not that much older than you. I'm 42, but when my next birthday rolls around, I'm switching around the numbers. The best wisdom I can think of: Think of yourself 20 years ago when you were 16. That was a lifetime ago. Now, understand you will have more than two lifetimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddinhead Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted." I forget who said that. I get a lot of my wisdom through experience, but over the last 10 years I've gotten a lot vicariously. I read a lot of history, and you can learn a lot through the mistakes and successes of great human beings. I think U.S. policy toward Iraq should have been closer to Alexander the Great, for instance. And Gandhi STILL teaches me stuff. The words I live by, especially when dealing with Christian fundies, helps me to temper my responses to them. "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance." They're not doing it because they hate YOU, but because they just don't know any better and are acting out of fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I don't know about wisdom. I am 50. I know there are some old fools out there and I hope I'm not one of them. I hope that when I have a distorted, irrational thought at least I can tell I am having one. Probably the greatest wisdom is to know yourself. Didn't Socrates say that? If so, I think that is true. Probably I have made some progress in that direction and that's all I can claim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Do You Have Any Wisdom? If So...where Or How Did You Get It? Wal-Mart. Aisle 25 between the tampons and the chicken salad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 8, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted May 8, 2009 See what I mean about mere age being no guarantee of wisdom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Stu Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 As a teacher of high school students I realize how much wisdom I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev R Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Sorry, garden variety fool here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 See what I mean about mere age being no guarantee of wisdom? But I also have a pornographic memory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 8, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted May 8, 2009 Shit! We ARE brothers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karhoof Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Wisdom? 48 years have given me copious amounts of wisdom. Now, if I could only apply it... My wisdoms: I don't care who you are... or who you think you are... family is always embarrasing. People never change? No. People do change. Just never into the people we want them to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I'm only 21 years old, so I don't necessarily consider myself incredibly wise, but I have found that whatever wisdom that I have gained is through experience and just listening to my elders. I do feel like an old wizard when I talk to one of my friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlene Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 See what I mean about mere age being no guarantee of wisdom? But I also have a pornographic memory. Pornographic or photographic?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I'm not very wise now, Kathlene, but in two months when I turn 67 I plan to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 If wisdom comes with age, I'm your guy. However, there are quite a few of us ignorant old farts out there, so mere age is no guarantee of wisdom. I've learned lessons from my past behaviors. Sometimes it takes a while to reach understanding. Sometimes I choose to ignore the lesson anyway. If you pay attention you find out what works and what doesn't, so mainly choose what works - but I'm not a fanatic about that. Sometimes it's just fun to do the wrong thing, and pay the consequences. What the many years have taught me: Learn empathy and employ it daily. Choose to be kind, rather than right. It's okay to be wrong (though I never am). You have one shot at enjoying life, so do it. Money spent most enjoyably is always spent on someone else. Recognize the humor inherent in our condition. That's not what I learned but I'm eight years younger than you so maybe I've still got a few lessons coming my way. Wisdom is learning not to feel guilty lavishing all my money on myself and buying all those interesting books out there to educate my famished brain. My latest batch included titles such as Misquoting Jesus, and The Orthodox Corruption of Scripture. Another title is The Zuni Man-Woman, a very appropriate topic for today as we try to make sense of multi-dimensional sexual orientations and identities, etc. Eat the ice cream before it melts. I love that one. Focus on the simple things of life, smell the flowers, let go of the things one can't control, and make the best of what's left of life. A favourite of mine is, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Well, life locked me in a social religious situation that seemed on the face of it to be totally sterile from an intellectual perspective. Yet the lessons I learned served as topics for many and many a term paper for the next ten years. I can see myself using the content of those first forty years of my life serving as a springboard for much contribution to the fund of human knowledge, once I figure out how to organize it in a form suitable for human consumption. That's the lemonade I am trying to squeeze out of the lemons life handed me. As you say, making sense of and gaining understanding of past behaviours and mistakes is a great way to wisdom in my experience. I don't really know if any of this is "wise." It's a batch of words on the screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I'm not very wise now, Kathlene, but in two months when I turn 67 I plan to be. You are so funny. I mean that in a good way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I'm not sure if this counts as wisdom or not but I've learned that I'm great at not taking my own advice. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QuidEstCaritas? Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I have received most "wisdom" from others' lack thereof and "demonstrations" of said lack thereof. While this may be a funny way for such a thing to be imparted, I find the means to be rather solid and sometimes even indelible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I'm not very wise now, Kathlene, but in two months when I turn 67 I plan to be. You are so funny. I mean that in a good way. Well, Ruby, Like they always say, "If ya can't be wise, at least make us chuckle a little." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I think most people have wisdom, but not everyone knows how to access it or what to do with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 What have I learned as wisdom? Don't cook fish when hungover. Don't drink wine when the temperature outside exceeds 110f. Don't tell the wife what you 'honestly think' about her dress, figure, etc.. It's a TRAP! Always keep the woman that puts the seat up when she is finished. Always compliment the host for the food he was kind enough to share, even if the food is monkey, the neighbor's dog, or some other food you have never eaten. No one really represents us in Congress (USA). Our Representatives represent 'special interest groups' with lots of money, not individuals. Everything I learned in Sunday School was wrong. God doesn't kill people, people kill people. A religious doctrine can be more dangerous than political dogma. Most Christians do not know a difference between religious doctrine and political democratic propaganda. They think majority rules in heaven too, and by vote. Alcohol in moderation is ok, more than that is a party! Love is no sin. Therefor, peaceful activity is no crime. Because love hurts no one and peaceful activity does not disrupt the peace. No one loves me like I do. When working with the Federal Government, always assume the person you are talking to really is an idiot! When depressed make home-made beer. It takes 4-6 weeks until ready and by waiting that long, you get over what was bothering you. Making beer is spiritual alchemy at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Well, I became an ex xian as a result of fervent prayer and seeking of that elusive animal wisdom. Don't know if I'm wise, I can be pretty idiotic at times, but that's a true story and my eximony in a nutshell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest brookacton Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 If wisdom comes with age, I'm your guy. However, there are quite a few of us ignorant old farts out there, so mere age is no guarantee of wisdom. I've learned lessons from my past behaviors. Sometimes it takes a while to reach understanding. Sometimes I choose to ignore the lesson anyway. If you pay attention you find out what works and what doesn't, so mainly choose what works - but I'm not a fanatic about that. Sometimes it's just fun to do the wrong thing, and pay the consequences. What the many years have taught me: Learn empathy and employ it daily. Choose to be kind, rather than right. It's okay to be wrong (though I never am). You have one shot at enjoying life, so do it. Money spent most enjoyably is always spent on someone else. Recognize the humor inherent in our condition. Eat the ice cream before it melts. I really like these about empathy and kindness. I had to read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk, last semester, and he teaches that "through suffering one learns compassion". Though I've been thinking a lot of patience lately myself... (I tend to be rather impatient) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeptic Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 The one who speaks the loudest and strongest is not always the wisest nor brightest. Listen to those who rarely speak. I have learnt that in my own life too. I have found loud opinionated people to be very offputting. I am more likely to listen to someone who speaks rarely..but when they do, what they have to say has more importance than a thousand words. I tend to be like this. When I'm in a group of people, especially at first, I don't say anything. Not one word. That's okay with me, anyway, though, because I tend to exist mostly in my own head anyway, but I'll be listening to the conversation and I say something that makes everyone stop and stare at me. I can do this in a group of my peers and in a group of people who may be at least a decade or two older than I am. I don't know how it happens or why or anything, but it does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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