Your last visit to Church as a Christian

[DaveL]

Hi Guys,

 

I’m back again, just needed a good rest. This issue has always intrigued me. What was you final visit to church like during your former life? Mine was a feeling of numbness. No thunder claps, no lightning bolts from the sky, no fiery pits opening up to swallow me whole. Then a feeling of profound relief ensued.

 

How was it for you?

[Mike D]

How funny I honestly don't remember the last time I went to chruch. Even though I remained a Christian for quite a few years once I moved out of my parents house and was living on my own, I pretty much stopped going to church. If I had to say anything at all, I would say I was bored...

[Japedo]

I chose Other, anxious and nervous to be honest, I would have felt more comfortable chewing on tin foil or biting on terry cloth.

[Checkmate]

Definitely "Other". I felt bored, and stupid, and very much out of place. I couldn't believe I had wasted yet ANOTHER Sunday listening to ridiculous drivel. It didn't help that it was a "guest speaker", who simply rambled on aimlessly trying to make some vague point out of one scripture found in Jonah. If I'd had a gun on me SOMEONE would have died that day. Him or me!

 

So glad to be free!

[Guest Unborn Again]

My deconversion was a slow, evolutionary process, and I continued to attend church at least occasionally while I still lived at home, and then periodically (Christmas, Easter, perhaps once or twice now and then) when I was home visiting.

 

When I was younger and having doubts, church services tended to piss me off and make me feel uncomfortable. Something that really bothered me was the congregation itself--we were presbies, so a lot of folks there were affluent, well-scrubbed, and by and large supporters of the GOP (insurance agents, engineers, business people, doctors, etc), not to mention lily white. The whole atmosphere was comfortable and smug.

 

Nowadays if I go, to tell you the truth, though I don't subscribe to any of it it doesn't bother me all that much--I see some people I haven't seen much since I was a kid, and I remember the things about church that I actually liked (I daydream during the service, and pretty much tune out the preacher). I try not to dwell on the negative and on things that make me mad about church--it doesn't seem worth the effort.

 

Also, I have not told my family of my deconversion, though they know I'm not religious in the way they are, so I suppose I don't make a fuss out of a desire to not make a scene (how presbyterian of me!).

[No More]

I felt sad because I had been a "true believer" for many years and learning the truth about Christianity was like having a rug pulled out from under me. I nearly wished I hadn't explored and discovered the facts. I could not return to the faith and I had nothing yet to replace it with.

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Guys,

 

I’m back again, just needed a good rest.  This issue has always intrigued me.  What was you final visit to church like during your former life? Mine was a feeling of numbness.  No thunder claps, no lightning bolts from the sky, no fiery pits opening up to swallow me whole.  Then a feeling of profound relief ensued. 

 

How was it for you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[XCrispyKFC]

I picked other because I felt bored, tired, and sick of playing the game. Everything the preacher was saying was being absorbed as fantasy and wishful thinking as opposed to empirical data and facts. My perspective on the last sermons were being seen in the opposite light, and it felt good.

[Clearview]

I picked awful. It was my only voluntary visit to a Catholic church in 10 years (other than semi-voluntary activities such as christmas and easter with the family). I was caught between renewing my faith and rejecting it, and I didn't know what to think. All the things I had been researching about Christianity were coursing through my mind, and the priest was standing up front with a big stew pot over his head, banging on the pot with a wooden spoon. Not sure what he was trying to do, but it the effect was weird and sad.

 

I'll never go back.

[trashy]

The last time I *regularly* attended as a member was years ago. We've only visited a few times since then, usually funerals or weddings. I don't think we've gone back since making the 'deconversion' transition. So, so far there has been no 'last visit' and I dread the day I have to go back, but it'll happen. My dad's a pastor and I'm in the closet on the whole atheist issue.

[Lanakila]

I don't remember the individual last time I attended church before my deconversion. I was there so much they all sorta blend. But my pastor was teaching the book of Revelation right befoe my deconversion and I remember thinking that you can get out of that book whatever you want. That his pre-trib Baptist teaching was just one interpretation of that seemingly drug induced hallucination that is the last book in the Bible.

[Libertus]

I don't remember the very last time that attended church, but I know that I felt very awkward the last several times that I went as I was coming to grips with my lack of belief and not knowing how to express it to my wife. Keep in mind that I was a pentecostal in one of the showy non-denominational churches. Not exactly a place for a person to just sit there and endure. There is actual participation and stuff involved in attending these services.

 

Libertus

[bluewizard]

Boring, I never eally was a Christian technically, though I used to fear going to Hell, so yes I was, but I was bored as always in church, I never really enjoyed church.

[dead_hobbit]

I go to a Church about once or twice a year. This last time, I went to a Catholic Church. Admittedly, I wished I could believe in it. I wished it didn't have such a horrible history. Most Catholics I know are awesome... and a lot are hot. It'd be awesome to be part of a community like that, to have a sense of "family" again.

 

But I know that I can't decieve myself into it. I've tried for the past four years to convince myself that some form of Judaism or Christianity was right, but it always caused more pain than was worth it. Living a lie just didn't work for me.

[Guest JP1283]

The last time I went to church was the Sunday after 9/11.

 

That same week, I had started my unforgivable sin issues so I thought I better go to church. I didn't feel any better. I even had the preacher say "God bless you." It was a Wesleyan church so all the people went to the alter to give themselves to the Lord. It was quite a sermon, and it did feel good to be there but I still felt damned beyond hope. Nice huh?

[Thurisaz]

I felt sad because that last time was the funeral service for a deceased relative... sad for the wife left mourning.

[Purple Rhino]

The last time was for my little brothers wedding in '96. My partner and I were the only 2 people out of 200 that didn't go for communion.

 

But I'll give my brother credit it wasn't a preachy service just religious.

 

 

PR

[BlueGiant]

The last time I stepped in a chruch (ewww), I fell in to that other category. In my case, it was anger and disgust at most of the people there. Sometimes you can just see how hollow everyone is. Utterly repugnant to me.

[Vigile]

If I'd had a gun on me SOMEONE would have died that day.  Him or me!

 

So glad to be free! 

 

 

Last year my grandfather told me that if he and his brother knew then what they know now they would have taken that young preacher fella out back and shot him and then hid his body in the outhouse. He had a horribly fundy mother who got "saved" by said preacher.

 

He is the only other heathen in my family.

 

He also told me that he was once roped into attending an ass of god (I love that name) service by my grandfather on my mother's side. During one particularly traumatizing aria by a chior member he leaned over to the lady next to him and whispered "if I had a bee bee gun right now I could end this peacefully." I'm not sure what response he got, but probably icy.

[Checkmate]

He also told me that he was once roped into attending an ass of god (I love that name) service by my grandfather on my mother's side.  During one particularly traumatizing aria by a chior member he leaned over to the lady next to him and whispered "if I had a bee bee gun right now I could end this peacefully."  I'm not sure what response he got, but probably icy. 

Hillarious! Every once in a while I'm tempted to beard the lion in his den, return to a church service, JUST to see what stupid shit they're into today. I gotta admit, there IS much comedy to be had watching these retards. ESP. the Ass of God bunch. It's not like they can weave some spell over me and get me back.

[bob]

I chose Other, anxious and nervous to be honest, I would have felt more comfortable chewing on tin foil or biting on terry cloth.

I quit going to church long before I left the faith. I quit going because I was so disillusioned with church, and with my inability to overcome sin in my life. I probably quit attending 10 years before my deconversion.

I have begun attending again recently because the woman I am in love with is a Christian, and attends every Sunday. I am, as Japedo says, anxious and nervous while there. It is very difficult to stand next to my girlfriend, during the singing, and notice her raise her hands as she worships her god. Very difficult indeed. I am completely out of place.

[pandora]

Other- all of the above.

 

I was sad cuz I knew I would miss some people and some of the experiences. I dreaded the rejection I would receive. I felt numb to the appeals to emotion and spirituality (at least their style and terminology). I was angry I stuck with it for so long. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable anymore, except when we go with the in laws. Although we haven't done that yet, I feel we may get the invitation (read: come with us or be denounced) soon.

[spidermonkey]

I chose other.

 

I was completely disgusted.

 

The last church service I ever attended was in Feb. 2001. I had been deconverting for a while, but this was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was during Missions Month at my cult, and there was this missionary whose whole "mission field" was the GLBT people in Key West. He took great pleasure in trying to turn gay people straight and showering people dying of AIDS with loads of xtian "love." How disgusting.

[DaveL]

I remember going for about 12 months and feeling absolutely nothing. The words were just washing over me. I’d arrive empty and leave emptier. I was only there to prove I was good to other people.

 

During my final weeks I’d receive communion, and leave straight afterwards. Funnily enough people who didn’t stay for the whole mass used to get dirty looks as they left (yes I used to do it too). Now I was the one doing it, and it felt great.

 

One day I drove to the front of the church, took a look at it, and then drove off. I never went back.

[godlessgrrl]

Wow. Thinking about this topic I'm realizing it seems like it's been a long time since I've set foot in an actual church for any reason.

 

I voted "other". I think the last time I was in a church was at least 2 years ago, when my mother's father died and I was at his memorial. I felt kind of sad, kind of wistful, and kind of on edge - the first for my family, the second because I wished I'd known my gpa better, and the last because I didn't want anybody to try to sell me their religion.

 

I went to my gpa's sister's funeral a few months after his. I felt much the same way, only to a greater degree, because I was in Texas - and they really don't like pagans much down there.

 

I guess the last time I went, other than the above instances, was shortly after 9/11. The Episcopal cathedral in town opened their doors to people who just wanted to wander in and pray, be silent, think, or whatever. Their pastor gave a non-denominational message every hour or so, and offered anointing if anyone wished. For that I mostly felt dazed. I suppose I needed some kind of spiritual connection and with that church I knew being pagan wouldn't be an issue.

 

Other than that, I haven't been to a church. Not even for weddings.

 

Heh, Seattle's so agnostic even the Xians don't have church weddings...

[Eponymic]

I seem to remember feeling more like I had to repress laughter at how absurd it all was. Then there was the boredom, followed by the icky feeling of the philandering preachers wanting to touch me spiritually.