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Believer's Last Prayer


Guest JezuzFree

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Guest wasachristian

My final prayer was,

 

"Whether you exist or not, you are irrelevant!"

 

My next affirmation was, "There is no god!"

 

I will admit that it gave me a bit of an adrenalin rush so I said it again ... and again ... and again. It took a while do clear the fear and then the rush wore off.

 

Now it's all kinda peaceful and calm. Very cool experience.

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

That's a very poetic prayer. I'm guessing you prepared it before praying it?

 

My last prayer was more like...

 

"If there is a creator out there, please let me know."

 

 

As far as my last "Christian" prayer, I think I prayed for help in restoring my wavering faith. It was probably the most intense/sincere/emotional prayer I had ever prayed. If God answers any prayers, it should have been that one.

 

My last prayer was somewhat close to that...

 

"If you're up there, you're a dick."

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  • 1 month later...

My last prayer as a Christian was "God I don't even know who you are."

 

An intense feeling of freedom and inner peace came with saying this that lasted for 3 weeks followed by years of deep psychological turmoil.

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I LOVE this. What a poetic way to go out with a proverbial bang. My last prayers were a lot angrier, thing more like "Dear Jesus, what the fuck is this? Why the fuck do I feel guilty for asking these questions? Is that how you work? Passive aggressive-like? What's the point anymore..."

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

I never really said a last prayer... A couple of years I did write a song to my former god... It was an emotional statement to a "loving" god's negligence. You can listen to a demo of it, it's called Absent: http://www.myspace.com/liberatedservant

 

Here are the lyrics:

 

Before I fell on my knees

for you

 

I studied and prayed

 

and read every word

for you

 

I made so many excuses

all for you

 

When I needed you most where were you?

 

You are Absent

 

And now I stand on my feet

without you

 

I learn about truth

 

And breathe every breath

without you

 

And free and I'm proud

without you

 

When they need you the most where are you?

 

You are Absent

 

I waited all alone

 

They're waiting here all alone

 

We're waiting here, We're all alone

 

But that's just, we're all alone

 

And there's so much more to this world.

 

We need to learn all we can.

 

And start again.

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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one:

'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.'

And God granted it." - François-Marie Arouet Voltaire

 

Q: "What will you say to God on your Judgement Day?"

A: "How could you?" - Baron d'Holbach

 

Q: "What will you say to God on your Judgement Day?"

A: "Why didn't you give us better evidence?" - Bertrand Russell

 

 

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my last prayer was was somthing of...

 

"god i followed you for years, god i followed you for your love and acceptence.

but it wasnt love or aceptence it was control and blindness.

i cant really comprehend why christianity must be so evil and why you allow it.

you condradict your self and your bible, example: if god hates sin why did you create it? and then force it apon your children that you "love" so much and then make them be tourtured in hell because you made the mistake..not them.

your church is evil and remindes me of the movie matrix. through emotional coruption you destroy peoples desire to think for themsleves through a massive guilt procces.

in your bible you order the deaths of millions of people why? i thought you loved them...

then there is me.

god i beged you for over a decade to show yourself to me. i begged you.

but you didnt show it was if you toyed with me and enjoyed my pain.

all of this proves your nothing but a liar and a judgmental insecure tantrum throwing child.

if your there you can still show yourself, but until then im done with your shit, your churches shit and the arogance.

im tired of walking through life under a emotional control system that is evil and dispicible in evry way.

christians are so arogant to the truth, most dont read and dont learn they simply use some axiom of god to prove the lie they live.

good bye and fuck you."

 

 

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  • 4 months later...

I'm enjoying the poetry and the *cough* prayers *mutter*

 

My last prayer was a long time ago, so it's hard to remember, but I remember praying that I wouldn't commit suicide.

 

 

 

 

side note: It was difficult for me to write the word "prayer" without substituting the word "plead", but it wasn't difficult for me to write "commit suicide". Go figure!

 

 

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  • 3 months later...
Guest lilbman

People. Wake up and stop your belly aching!!!!!!

 

Take a look around you.

 

What good is faith if it is never tested?

 

Are you really asking GOD to prove Himself or are you living by faith?

 

Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Take heart. He is a rewarder of those that "diligently" seek Him.

 

Yes GOD loves you. Yes He hears you. Yes He cares.

 

Where are your hearts?

 

Where is your faith?

 

Are you trusting in the knowledge of man or are you seeking GOD through Jesus Christ?

 

Ask GOD to open your spiritual eyes and ears.

 

Please, don't give up. Wait patiently. Wait for Him on His timing. Your prayers get answered according to His will on His timing.

 

There is good reason for this. Please search your hearts. Is your faith being tested?

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People. Wake up and stop your belly aching!!!!!!

Eh?

 

Take a look around you.

 

What good is faith if it is never tested?

That means God is the master behind evil.

 

Are you really asking GOD to prove Himself or are you living by faith?

I lost my faith. Yes, I want GOD to prove himself. Or more accurately, if you want me to believe in YOUR GOD, then YOUR GOD has to prove himself.

 

Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Take heart. He is a rewarder of those that "diligently" seek Him.

I think 30 years of diligently seeking him was enough, and the only rewards I and my family received were "tests" (as you call it). We never saw any good rewards.

 

Yes GOD loves you. Yes He hears you. Yes He cares.

Caring is not enough. Acting is more important.

 

Where are your hearts?

My heart is in my chest cavity, slightly to the left, just under the ribs. Wendyshrug.gif

 

Where is your faith?

Gone.

 

Are you trusting in the knowledge of man or are you seeking GOD through Jesus Christ?

Are you a man? Should I trust you? No. Did I seek GOD for my whole life? Yes. Did I find GOD? No. ... or kind'a No... I consider Life, Reality, Universe, etc, the things that actually do exist but we fully can't understand yet, represent my new God. It's a non-personal God, but "He" does exist and is always compatible with science.

 

Ask GOD to open your spiritual eyes and ears.

I did. Many times. It was my last prayer and I'm still waiting for answer. But we got only more tests instead.

 

Please, don't give up. Wait patiently. Wait for Him on His timing. Your prayers get answered according to His will on His timing.

There is good reason for this. Please search your hearts. Is your faith being tested?

Yes, when I die, that's when everything will be okay again. But I want a life that's better than God's evil tests and having to believe in some Santa Claus in the sky.

 

If it was a test, wouldn't God tell me? Why should I trust men (like you) to tell me if it is or isn't?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Nice your poem.GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif However regarding myself I couldnt be poetic with someone that really broke the trust I had in him and disappointed me so much. I've been very mad with the Lord and I am just so happy he is out of my life now. No regret...and a new life is there....

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  • 1 month later...

This thread of all the ones on ex-christian.net shows believers that those who leave the "faith" sometimes do it with great pain and also with great sincerity.I recently met a Christian woman who claimed that if you pray long enough,God will show you why the Bible is true and clear up any confusion you may have. If that is indeed the case, then we have a bunch of liars on this website about how their de-conversion process went. It just doesn't hold water.The thoughts and sentiments on this site are too strong from those who with sincere hearts sought God but never found him /her/ it.

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  • 4 weeks later...

its been less than a week since Ive gone public (on the internet) about not believing. I agreed to quit lying to myself. But this prayer made me cry. I think abou tthe way I used to feel and how thats gone. I was so closed to anything i really wanted to believe. i played the part. it was just me pouring out everything at nothing. its tough to let it sink in.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Wow. This is great. And nice poem, by the way. I didn't realize that so many people had "ending prayers". The last time I prayed to god, it was just one simple prayer, but I prayed it over and over again: "God, take away my pain". That was said while going through divorce. 30 years of dedication to him, and he couldn't do one simple thing. That was the last time I ever spoke to god.

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  • 1 month later...

Haha! So many Christian music references. Awesome. That brings back a lot. I still listen to a few of those. tongue.png

 

My thoughts exactly.

Very clever poem. Thanks for posting it. I enjoyed it a lot.

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  • 1 year later...
  • Super Moderator

Dude, you left out Project 86, Bloodgood, Vengeance Rising, and One Bad Pig! Otherwise, a most excellent rendering.

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