ConureDelSol Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Think of life now as having permission to do many of the things you couldn't do as a Christian. Another thing that helped me was coming to a realization that the universe is amazing without God. In fact, it's even more amazing than it is with God IMO. Another thing that has helped me is the realization that God isn't going to do anything. I need to make it happen. I need to take action. Live your life for you and not for a divine being. So what if you are just a speck of sand in a giant cosmic ocean? I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I'm going to be the best speck of sand I can be! Life can suck, but at least now we don't have to make some sort of sense out of it in relation to some all-knowing being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Life is better without god. Instead of obsessing on religion and your ability to get into heaven, you are able to open your eyes to the wonders of the earth. When you leave the cult it's a win win. I too am choosing to be the best speck of sand I can be, no one/nothing else can be the best for me except me. I have to board the train headed for happiness, I can't expect a myth to "deliver" the happiness for me. If we all choose to be the best speck we can be, we as a group will be the most beautiful desert. I personally find beauty in the serenity of deserts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Xtech Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Also - I found that study of nature was so enthralluing and refreshing. For a long I had no interest in study of things that are manmade - law, religion, politics, etc. The real truth is found in the real world! Why not study biology or psychology or natural history .... any of the sciences Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotalWreck Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Well, like I said a few days ago; my mood goes up and down easily and now I'm down again. All I do is sleep all the time and stay in the house. I'm all burned out emotionally, mentally, and physically. I've had to start at square one about 3 different times in the last 10 years and I just can't do it anymore. I'm so sick of starting over all the time when things go wrong, and this last time was the biggest blow of all since I lost my faith on top of everything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Well, like I said a few days ago; my mood goes up and down easily and now I'm down again. All I do is sleep all the time and stay in the house. I'm all burned out emotionally, mentally, and physically. I've had to start at square one about 3 different times in the last 10 years and I just can't do it anymore. I'm so sick of starting over all the time when things go wrong, and this last time was the biggest blow of all since I lost my faith on top of everything else. One thing I have learned that really helps is, we all need a purpose in life. Even a temporary project will give us a purpose. It makes a huge difference. Start a blog, get a new hobby, rearrange everything in your house. Any activity helps. I also love music and I love to find new artists. I just found some new Asian groups like Super Junior. Very interesting. But I like all kinds of music. If you are sleeping too much because you have a lack of interest, and you stay in to avoid the world, that is a sign of depression. I stay in because I like to be at home, I'm not a very social person anymore. Loosing your faith is really an opportunity to have the life you design, not the one someone else decides is appropiate for you. It's a good thing. Don't think of it as starting over. Think of it as re-adjusting the things in your life that are no longer working or no longer have value to you. You are reassessing your priorities. Perspective has a lot to do with how we view life. It's part of what makes photography interesting to me. Change the perspective and the photo looses it's meaning or focus. Always give yourself options on how you want to look at a situation. There is no right way or wrong way. There is only the way that works for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kruszer Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 As some of you may have read in some of my other posts, it was only recently I gave up Christianity because it was almost like a cruel joke - all these promises of God saving me if I did this and that only to have nothing happen. I was a nervous wreck most of the time, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong that God was ignoring me. But no matter what, I always had that feeling of hope, until the very end when I decided I could take no more. That is my ex-timony as well, and I'm newly deconverted myself. I too endured a lifetime of having shit constantly go wrong in my life while continuing to trust and have faith and live a righteous life, believing on the promises of God that he would deliver the righteous in times of trouble and restore the years that the locusts had stolen. God is no man's debtor, right? He'll return to you everything the devil has stolen, ten-times over, right?... Every time I'd question why the promises were failing me, I'd hear Christians conveniently turn to other verses that justify why evil and suffering happen to the righteous and how in this world we will have trouble - but hey, at least there's heaven! Like you, I realized that the promises were empty, and even the promise of heaven meant nothing coming from a God I couldn't trust to be true during my earthly life. Now that I've been out, I must say that all the anxiety and stress is gone. However, now all I feel is emptiness inside and I feel kind of numb, like nothing really matters anymore. It's like I don't feel anything really, just bleak. So on one hand I do have a sense of calm in my life now, but on the other hand, my motivation and passion for life is just gone. I don't know which is worse - feeling nothing but having calm in my life or being a nervous wreck all the time but feeling something even if it wasn't a good feeling. At least when I had "God" in my life there was always hope, but since I've realized there's no magician in the sky that might possibly help me out someday, I feel like life is meaningless. You've been freed from a small cage. Take the time to see that the world around you is big and beautiful. What if life IS "meaningless"? What if we are insignificant flukes of evolution and of random generations of propagated DNA? What if we're not eternal? What if we're not special beyond our family and friends and our current appearance as a blip in the great sea of time and space? I think life can still have meaning. My meaning. Your meaning. The meaning that we give to each other when we live and ouch one another in the here and the now. We may be gone tomorrow never to exist again. But that doesn't change the fact that whatever and whyever we are, we ARE here today. And when I inhale the aroma of a fragrant flower, when I cuddle with my god-daughter, when I run through the rain, when I read and learn and perhaps influence a future generation of earthlings in what I teach others, I create meaning. On the treadmill of Christianity our meaning and purpose in life has always been to be obedient to all of God's laws and to try to recruit more people to join the club. Now we're to free to go do whatever. We'll probably still have the same number of days under the sun, only now we get to enjoy them. We don't get to imagine that we live on with another life to follow, but in a way I think that can help us to enjoy these days all the more - because unlike the religious folk out there, we know that this is the final act. So I say, if you're looking for meaning, enjoy your days under the sun, help others and make their days better - not because God will pat you on the back and give you a prize for it, but just because we're all humans and "do unto others as you would have them do onto you" just makes plain old sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kruszer Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Off-topic but I had to add: I personally find beauty in the serenity of deserts. Go to Burning Man! It's the complete antithesis to Bible camp and it's in the desert! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 ... when I read and learn and perhaps influence a future generation of earthlings in what I teach others, I create meaning. To be a part of any god cult robs us of this very thing. We cannot evolve if we do not learn and teach. And thanks for the Burning Man info, looks cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 This is a really normal feeling for us deconverts. Our values, morals, and what we put stock in are different than they were in Christianity...so it's a lot to have to rebuild up these parts of our identities. It's really disorienting and confusing. I'll give you a tip: Peace, love, contentment, and happiness are all things you DO, not things you find, achieve, or run across. You got to practice them every day like doing exercises, and like muscles, they get stronger. This has helped a lot with my own depression and anxiety problems too, which have become very mild (I used to have bad panic attacks and felt suicidal). So take your time and do a little something every day. Read, write, create, learn to meditate, have long conversations with loved ones, go walk or sit in beautiful places. You're going to have a lot to work out, but eventually you'll become settled again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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