Your new perception of sex

[Metroplex]

How has your perception of sex changed now that you don't see it through 'bible' glasses?

Are you freer now? No more guilt about it?

[Karissa]

Hmmmm....well, I would have to say there is no guilt, but I am still cautious about who I sleep with. I think the Bible is wise to say to wait in a way, but I think a person should wait until they are in love. I've had casual sex, and it's not that great- sex with someone you really care about is a different story. And a month ago I got pregnant, which kind of scared me and made me even more cautious. ( the doc said I am going to miscarry) Anyhow, I think individuals should still be safe about sex and sparing with the number of people they choose, but that is just from personal experience. It is freeing.

[Poonis]

I think I have less sex as an ex-christian. The risk of disobeying "god" and the taboo are what seemed to make it more enjoyable; you know, 'make it illegal and they will want to do it more'. Maybe I'm just getting older and the novelty is starting to wear off.

 

But it is more enjoyable since I don't have an imaginary friend looking over my shoulder, or, as I was lead to believe, souls of the undead watching me as well.

[Dianka]

I think I have less sex as an ex-christian. The risk of disobeying "god" and the taboo are what seemed to make it more enjoyable; you know, 'make it illegal and they will want to do it more'. Maybe I'm just getting older and the novelty is starting to wear off.

 

But it is more enjoyable since I don't have an imaginary friend looking over my shoulder, or, as I was lead to believe, souls of the undead watching me as well.

 

Yeah, I was never one for giving a spiritual peep show. But I never really thought about it. By the time I began having sex, I was totally disconnected from God. However, when I started going solo as a tween, I was totally mortified thinking about God looking down at me in disgust.

[knowmad]

I was a mad rabbit before I believed and I was a mad rabbit during my xtianity.

When my wife left me for another I took a vow of celibacy, especially for the kids sake, seeing as how damaging my x's boyfriend's presence disturbed both my kids.

 

That was 12ish years ago and I still enjoy my celibacy.

Sex is one the most expressive forms of intimacy and is not meant to be a device to obtain pleasure for the sake of pleasure IE the shallow one night stand situations.

 

Woe to them who obsessively seek temporal pleasure to fulfill the deep desire for intimacy and union with another.

[Dhampir]

Sex is one the most expressive forms of intimacy and is not meant to be a device to obtain pleasure for the sake of pleasure IE the shallow one night stand situations.

Why? How do you know?

[MQTA]

I was a mad rabbit before I believed and I was a mad rabbit during my xtianity.

When my wife left me for another I took a vow of celibacy, especially for the kids sake, seeing as how damaging my x's boyfriend's presence disturbed both my kids.

 

That was 12ish years ago and I still enjoy my celibacy.

Sex is one the most expressive forms of intimacy and is not meant to be a device to obtain pleasure for the sake of pleasure IE the shallow one night stand situations.

 

Woe to them who obsessively seek temporal pleasure to fulfill the deep desire for intimacy and union with another.

 

WHAT?

[willybilly30]

Sex is wonderful. It is not meant to be a device of pleasure.

Uh oh…….. Oh well

[All Gods Fail]

Feh - sex is kinda over-rated.

 

Kinky sex - now that's a different story!

[knowmad]

How do I know...um...I read it somewheres.

[Dianka]

How do I know...um...I read it somewheres.

 

Oh man, you are not going to get all Bible thumpy, are you?

 

 

I was a mad rabbit before I believed and I was a mad rabbit during my xtianity.

When my wife left me for another I took a vow of celibacy, especially for the kids sake, seeing as how damaging my x's boyfriend's presence disturbed both my kids.

 

Maybe your problem is ......

 

I am just going to keep my comment to myself, it will do nothing but piss people off.

[MQTA]

Yeah. If my wife left me I'd be looking up a whole lotta people, and I'd get my kids to help!

[knowmad]

Oh man, you are not going to get all Bible thumpy, are you?

Are you coming onto me ?

 

 

 

Maybe your problem is ......

 

I am just going to keep my comment to myself, it will do nothing but piss people off.

No please do tell, you may find I will not get pissed off in the slightest.

I'm all for people telling what they think is wrong with me.

I can't gaurantee that I will agree with you but at least you'll feel more reassured about your own perception of reality.

 

 

 

Yeah. If my wife left me I'd be looking up a whole lotta people, and I'd get my kids to help!

Well I did that for a while but most stairs are enclosed where I live and it was giving me neck pains.

[MQTA]

 

 

Yeah. If my wife left me I'd be looking up a whole lotta people, and I'd get my kids to help!

Well I did that for a while but most stairs are enclosed where I live and it was giving me neck pains.

 

Eh? Oh, not look up AT a whole lotta people, it's a US expression. It means to contact others.

[knowmad]

Oh, you mean like dead people ?

Or aliens ro do you mean glue them ro just touch them ?

 

Whoa ! keyboard is rebelling LOL

 

Edit where's my edit button I hate typos !

[MQTA]

Uh, no. Like all those women who always said "but, you're married" and wouldn't even talk to me any further than that. But that was a long time ago, so forget them.. would have to start over. I doubt I'll get that chance.

 

I'm kinda trapped in a happy marriage.

[Taphophilia]

I was a mad rabbit before I believed and I was a mad rabbit during my xtianity.

When my wife left me for another I took a vow of celibacy, especially for the kids sake, seeing as how damaging my x's boyfriend's presence disturbed both my kids.

 

That was 12ish years ago and I still enjoy my celibacy.

Sex is one the most expressive forms of intimacy and is not meant to be a device to obtain pleasure for the sake of pleasure IE the shallow one night stand situations.

 

Woe to them who obsessively seek temporal pleasure to fulfill the deep desire for intimacy and union with another.

 

I agree with you and have been celibate for the last six years. It does make life easier, but I have to say I don't enjoy my celibacy.

[knowmad]

Wow, my X felt the same way yet during the 10 years I was married I never once had the slightest feeling I was trapped.

My love for her grew every day, then one day she couldn't take any more and just left.

 

That was 10 years ago and she still can't tell me or doesn't know why she left.

And from the numerous discussions I have had with her over the years,

she still has no idea why she is with the other guy whom she says she doesn't love, but hey that's okay because she can fill up that emptiness she feels by having lots of sex, with a man she has no connection with.

 

Yet she can't even see that the disconnection lies within being disconnected with herself.

Traumatic childhood experiences often forces people to disconnect.

Sadly most people forget that when they are older and stronger they are then able to reconnect and then deal with the internal pain and remove it once and for all instead of allowing it to slowly and profoundly cripple one's psyche.

 

When my wife left, the connection I had with her was ripped away from me and I gave myself 7 years to heal and that was the most rewarding 7 years I have ever been through.

 

The glaring difference between me and her now is I know who I am and she hasn't a clue who she is.

She is lost while I am found. She compensates by filling her life with temporal experiences to feel something that makes her feel alive.

 

Whoa ! Just thinking about it now and when I was 20 I remeber stating that I always felt disconnected from reality, not any more.

That was a fantastic 20 year journey.

Life is so fucking amazing, with or without sex or stairs or glue or aliens. LOL

[knowmad]

I agree with you and have been celibate for the last six years. It does make life easier, but I have to say I don't enjoy my celibacy.

Yer, I struggled with the lack of intimacy for the first 2-3 years of my separation and I thought I was the worst candidate to become celibate seeing as how much I enjoyed sex.

But when I started exploring deep within I uncovered a whole stack of issues that were dictating how I lived and felt which distorted my perception of reality and of myself.

 

I decided during that time that I wouldn't seek another partner till all the crap inside me was dealt with.

Once I could see that I was internally whole I could then seek out someone to love and cherise.

Now that I am whole I find I have no desperate need for a partner but there is still a pleasant desire to have someone to love.

 

It's just not a giant void that needs filling like it used to be.

[Dhampir]

You're still gonna die.

 

Or maybe you meant to use a word other than temporal.

[knowmad]

You're still gonna die.

 

Or maybe you meant to use a word other than temporal.

Who is ?

[Taphophilia]

I agree with you and have been celibate for the last six years. It does make life easier, but I have to say I don't enjoy my celibacy.

Yer, I struggled with the lack of intimacy for the first 2-3 years of my separation and I thought I was the worst candidate to become celibate seeing as how much I enjoyed sex.

But when I started exploring deep within I uncovered a whole stack of issues that were dictating how I lived and felt which distorted my perception of reality and of myself.

 

I decided during that time that I wouldn't seek another partner till all the crap inside me was dealt with.

Once I could see that I was internally whole I could then seek out someone to love and cherise.

Now that I am whole I find I have no desperate need for a partner but there is still a pleasant desire to have someone to love.

 

It's just not a giant void that needs filling like it used to be.

 

This reminds me of something I read in "The Course In Miracles"

 

"An unholy relationship is based on differences where each one thinks the other has what they have not. They come together each to complete himself and rob the other. They stay until they think there is nothing left to steal and then move on. And so they wonder through a world of strangers unlike themselves, living with their bodies perhaps under a common roof that shelters neither. In the same room and yet a world apart.

 

A holy relationship starts from a different premise. They have looked within and seen no lack. Accepting their completion, they join with another as whole as themselves."

 

I won't settle. That is why I have been celibate. I tolerate it, but I can't say it's a highlight of my life. Finding someone who is a whole person all by themselves and not needing to be fixed is almost impossible. I didn't break it, I can't fix it.

[knowmad]

Whoa ! That looks like an interesting book.

I wouldn't say impossible, just extremely difficult.

How about finding someone who is not whole but is on the path to wholeness, that way you can journey together.

 

I believe that if my X traveled with me on my journey and desired to be whole herself, we would still be together madly in love.

 

 

And Taph, could you explain more what you mean by " I didn't break it, I can't fix it."

[Taphophilia]

Whoa ! That looks like an interesting book.

I wouldn't say impossible, just extremely difficult.

How about finding someone who is not whole but is on the path to wholeness, that way you can journey together.

 

I believe that if my X traveled with me on my journey and desired to be whole herself, we would still be together madly in love.

 

 

And Taph, could you explain more what you mean by " I didn't break it, I can't fix it."

 

The emotional problems that people have. As in broken people. I didn't break it, I can't fix it.

 

It isn't that I am looking for that perfect person, but someone who understands that you cannot find yourself outside yourself.

 

It seems to be a collective neurosis that people are looking for their other half, like they are half a person and need someone to make them whole. People tend to believe that if they could just find that special someone then miraculously their life will instantly be wonderful. Life doesn't happen that way.

[Taphophilia]

I understand what you mean about your X Knowmad. There is someone that I loved, and still love, very much and affects me to this day. The deep sorrow that I feel because he chose another path haunts me to the very core.