Lilith666 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 "I want to ride your ass into Jerusalem." *cracks up* Xians would be furious. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 "God has chosen you to submit yourself to me." Extreme fundy pick-up line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I already paid your father 50 shekels of silver. Yeesh. Another extreme fundy one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Funniest one yet, some wide-eyed poodle with a purity ring who's been googly-eyed over that cute little girl in youth group is going to Google the phrase "Christian pick up lines" and is going to find himself here. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wings Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 Funniest one yet, some wide-eyed poodle with a purity ring who's been googly-eyed over that cute little girl in youth group is going to Google the phrase "Christian pick up lines" and is going to find himself here. Lol, we can only hope!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrailBlazer Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 "I noticed you have a purity ring. I've been saving myself for you too!" For pentecostals: "The Holy Spirit told me in a vision that I'd find my future spouse here, but he didn't tell me s/he would be an angel" For bible college students: "Ring by spring, how 'bout it?" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 "Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out." -- From Song of Solomon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 "A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts." --Song of Solomon, 1. 13 Using that verse we get a pickup line, 'Hey you should check out my myrrh?' 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legato Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Hold out arms to the side: "Are you a Christian? Because I'm hung like Jesus." 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 "My rod and my staff, they'll comfort you." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 You know the Bible says, "Love thy neighbor," so where do you live? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you. You float my ark. Do you need prayer? I feel led to lay hands on you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 "I'm gonna beget you more children than Abraham!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 "God has chosen you to submit yourself to me." This is for all those into BDSM.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 If we are going to quote Song of Songs then do 7:8 "Hey baby, can I climb your tree and take hold of the fruit?" Or 2:3 "Hey baby will you sit in my shade and taste my fruit?" I've always wondered how Song made it into the Bible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 You know the Bible says, "Love thy neighbor," so where do you live? I think this one might actually work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 "Let's keep the traditional definition of marriage alive, how about we go find a church." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 "I'm looking for another concubine, are you free on Thursday?" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentknight Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 My snake wants to enter your garden and convince you eat of my tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inorbit Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Trump Card: This particular piece of satire was wildly popular when I was in ministry school. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceOfMind Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 "My rod and my staff, they'll comfort you." More like, "My rod in your shaft shall comfort you." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 "Even though I walk in the valley of the shadows of the in-laws...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I will shout, and the walls of Jericho will fall down And by "Jericho" I mean "you", and by "walls" I mean "your pants" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Valk0010 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 "I prayed to god for a cure for my high sex drive!" "You wouldn't deny god now would you!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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