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Part of me thinks they're angry that I withdrew before they had the chance to excommunicate me. Just felt like sharing some of the messages from my "loving" christian family.

Lol. I can almost laugh now! smile.png

 

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Wow, girl. Im so sorry! I am glad you can laugh now though! :) Sounds like you are in a good place. Im thankful that we are not in the place those people are in, any longer! Its so nice to be free!

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Thanks OP... there are days I still struggle because that message is just the tip of the iceberg really, but yah, I'm doing much better!! Very special thanks to everyone here who shows support, care and love!

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We have nothing in common anymore.

 

That comment irritated me and speaks volumes about them. I can think of a lot of things that we all, as human beings living at the same time and on the same planet (let alone in the same town!), have in common with one another, regardless of religion. But they can't see past their own egos.

 

I'm sorry you had to go through all that crap, but when you can laugh at the idiocy, you know you're REALLY free. I'm glad you're laughing!

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Whoever wrote that is an ass. The us versus them attitude in that letter is no different than the attitude a KKK member has toward other races. I'd probably have one hell of a knee-jerk response to it if someone wrote that to me.

 

Real-world responses aside, they are being absolutely hypocritical and biblical idea of Jesus hanging with the sinners is totally lost on them.

 

I really hate prejudice.

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That tells you all you need to know about Christianity. We want nothing to do with you unless you think exactly like us. Fuck it and fuck them.

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Part of me thinks they're angry that I withdrew before they had the chance to excommunicate me. Just felt like sharing some of the messages from my "loving" christian family.

 

Lol. I can almost laugh now! smile.png

 

 

"Kristen,

We are very sorry to hear that you are withdrawing, but we can respect your decision. You said that you have 'no desire or plan to debate or try to change anyone elses' view'. We hope you stand by this claim, especially where your sisters are concerned.

 

We cannot understand how you think that this will not change anything. We have nothing in common anymore. Our lives are Christ centred and He is our complete focus, church, school and home. People are excommunicated from the church as a form of punishment to help the person see the error of their ways. They are cut off from the communion of saints and ties are severed. By withdrawing from the supervision of the church and turning your back on God, you are doing this voluntarily.

 

We continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers and may the Lord work faith in you through the Holy Spirit."

Kristin, giving you a cyber hug! I know for them it's SOP, but I still think it hurts! We had some nasty email exchanges w/ someone still in the church/cult & you would have thought that we were mass murderers or something that our "sins" were soooo huge, when our greatest sin was disagreeing with the pastard & leaving his pathetic fiefdom....I mean "church".

 

I HATE church discipline!!! It's just another method of the religious tyrants to try to control & manipulate people. Urgh!

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I really loved the part where they said, "Don't talk to your sisters about your lack of belief!"

 

Douchenozzles. The fact that they're so nervous about the thought of you deconverting others shows just how fragile their belief system is.

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I'd send this back to the ass that sent you that letter with a note that says "You realize you're participating in a cult, right?":

 

Sects and Cults

http://www.encyclope...3045001118.html

 

Sect ideology. All sects display a considerable degree of totalism in dominating the lives of their membership. Ideological domination is usually supplemented and supported on the social level by measures which set the group apart, such as endogamy, limitations on the forms of participation with outsiders, refusal to take part in significant common societal activities (military service, saluting the flag, or medical practice), peculiar habits of eating and abstinence, and with some groups, even peculiarities of dress. Related to these social forms of segregation is the notion of the sect members as comprising the “elect,” some kind of religious elite.

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'Christ Centered' is eveything hon in the church...I am so glad you are not taking it personally. It's like belonging to a 'Quilting Club' and you have no interest in crafts.....what's the sense of sitting amongst a gang of people if you don't quilt? They won't want you there ...they wanna' talk 'quilts'.

 

Go get a whole bunch of happy 'freethinking ' new friends.

 

Hug to you today.

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You said that you have 'no desire or plan to debate or try to change anyone elses' view'. We hope you stand by this claim, especially where your sisters are concerned.

 

Yeah, because you are soooooo much more powerful than the Holy Spirit that you can jeopardize your sisters' salvation!

 

By withdrawing from the supervision of the church and turning your back on God, you are doing this voluntarily.

 

Yeah, because the only reason someone would leave the church is out of rebellion!

 

 

 

Anyway, Kristen, good luck as you deal with your closed-minded family.

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This snarkiness is pathetic. You're much better off without people who can happily think they got rid of you like that: "we have nothing in common anymore". If they honestly believe that, then you never had any friends in there at all--apparently, friendship is faith-based for them. How sad. Well, I'm glad you ditched them.

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Ugh. Christianity can really kick you when you're down. Classic in group vs. out group mentality. To allow the ice cube of their beliefs to mingle freely with the hot water of reality would clearly be devastating to them.

 

Be strong.

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Thank you for letting me share. It's really cathartic to put these messages out there because they have really hurt and burned inside of me. I haven't shared most of them with people because, in the name of "sacrifice" I've let myself be hurt more than them. They have righteous indignation on their side. A smug sense of satisfaction that they have done "the Lord's Will"...
 

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Yeah, cause letters like those come from people who REALLY love you as the person you are, rather than you just as a Christian, and it really makes you want to go back to this REAL kind of love.rolleyes.gifrolleyes.gifrolleyes.gif

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Wow, these letters are so manipulative. I'm glad you are moving on and letting this stuff go. I know how hard it is, though. It's so frustrating to know that there's no way to help people to see who we really are and why we're walking away. It's difficult to be the ones who are misunderstood. All we can do is move forward and embrace the new life we have now...form new relationships and be thankful for those who have held on to us. I'm proud of you for taking the steps you have, that takes a lot of courage!

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Part of me thinks they're angry that I withdrew before they had the chance to excommunicate me. Just felt like sharing some of the messages from my "loving" christian family.

 

Lol. I can almost laugh now! smile.png

 

 

"Kristen,

We are very sorry to hear that you are withdrawing, but we can respect your decision. You said that you have 'no desire or plan to debate or try to change anyone elses' view'. We hope you stand by this claim, especially where your sisters are concerned.

 

We cannot understand how you think that this will not change anything. We have nothing in common anymore. Our lives are Christ centred and He is our complete focus, church, school and home. People are excommunicated from the church as a form of punishment to help the person see the error of their ways. They are cut off from the communion of saints and ties are severed. By withdrawing from the supervision of the church and turning your back on God, you are doing this voluntarily.

 

We continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers and may the Lord work faith in you through the Holy Spirit."

 

Holy shit they're evil!

 

So sorry you have to deal with this! That's horrible. =(

 

Move on, be happy and know that they can't control you or your emotions. They're power-tripping on a make-believe power and don't even know it. It's laughable, really.

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Well I suppose that's the expected conclusion.

 

After I read your first thread on this topic, I grew curious and emailed the office manager at my childhood church and was informed that I was still listed as a member. I haven't attended more than a handful of times in the last SEVEN YEARS. Talk about dishonesty...apparently until you transfer elsewhere they still count you, even if you quit going and move to another damn state. Southern Baptist Convention affiliates claim 16.2 million members...Now I wonder what the real figure is.

 

So without starting any arguments, I simply asked to withdraw, waited a week, and then got the standard guilt-trippy "We are soooooooooo sorry you no longer wish to be a part of our fellowship but we will grant your request. We sincerely hope gawd will continue to work in your life and bless and blah-de-blah-blah blah." Now, mainstream baptists don't do excommunication, shunning, discipline etc...they just gossip. So I'm sure it will get back to my mother at some point, and you know what? I don't give a fuck.

 

And you shouldn't either. Fuck 'em. Their respect for you as a person only extends as far as you increase the membership numbers and the bank accounts of their stupid cult. They were actually going to discipline you for having an independent thought. They are not your friends and they never were. Don't look back.

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Yeah, cause letters like those come from people who REALLY love you as the person you are, rather than you just as a Christian, and it really makes you want to go back to this REAL kind of love.rolleyes.gifrolleyes.gifrolleyes.gif

 

it's funny how blind fundies are to the statements of Jesus about loving others, isn't it?

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for years you have lived a life of narcissistic self indulgence rather than submission to God.

 

Judgmental crap like that always grates on me.

 

this is very disappointing to us and we are sad, but we will continue to pray every day for you...

 

If prayer was effective by itself, then they wouldn't have to TELL you that they're praying for you.

 

that's what we were instructed to do yesterday during the sermon on prayer.

 

Hmmmm.... I have to wonder if that's referring to a sermon simply on the topic of prayer or if the minister made an example of you (i.e. publicly bashed you) and specifically called for praying for you.

 

You also know that there are two roads, and only two roads....one to heaven and one to hell.

 

The two roads are (1) mythology and (2) truth. I know which one I'd rather be on.

 

Yes, Kris, your heart IS hardened, and softened to the world.

Although you question God's existence at this time,

 

These are conflicting statements. Saying that your heart is hardened implies rebellion, while saying that you're questioning implies honest skepticism. People saying things like this aren't thinking straight.

 

It is also your responsibility to NOT to try and influence your family and friends, but let this be your decision only.

 

As if the Christians would even think about practicing that advice. Ugh!

 

We love you and we can only pray that God will change your heart, because He is the only one that can make that happen.

 

If only God can change your heart, then why is she trying to do so by emailing you? And if God really wants you, then why would he need their prayers in order to act?

 

I was moved recently when <guy in church> had emergency surgery and needed someone to take care of him. The <family in church> family stepped up and took him in and cared for him until he was strong enough to care for himself. Wow, that is amazing. I can say for certain that other church families are not like that.

 

What? So NO OTHER CHURCH has families who would help a member who had surgery? What a load of BS.

 

Sorry you have to deal with being pummeled with such condescending eamils. Good luck!

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Well I suppose that's the expected conclusion.

 

After I read your first thread on this topic, I grew curious and emailed the office manager at my childhood church and was informed that I was still listed as a member. I haven't attended more than a handful of times in the last SEVEN YEARS. Talk about dishonesty...apparently until you transfer elsewhere they still count you, even if you quit going and move to another damn state. Southern Baptist Convention affiliates claim 16.2 million members...Now I wonder what the real figure is.

 

So without starting any arguments, I simply asked to withdraw, waited a week, and then got the standard guilt-trippy "We are soooooooooo sorry you no longer wish to be a part of our fellowship but we will grant your request. We sincerely hope gawd will continue to work in your life and bless and blah-de-blah-blah blah." Now, mainstream baptists don't do excommunication, shunning, discipline etc...they just gossip. So I'm sure it will get back to my mother at some point, and you know what? I don't give a fuck.

 

And you shouldn't either. Fuck 'em. Their respect for you as a person only extends as far as you increase the membership numbers and the bank accounts of their stupid cult. They were actually going to discipline you for having an independent thought. They are not your friends and they never were. Don't look back.

 

3D, this is really interesting! I also wonder what the real figures are, because I imagine that many people here may be on their church rolls (or multiple rolls). I wonder if your membership (whether you attend or not), allows churches greater tax claims or other benefits? And yet they may not actually have those numbers. My church practiced discipline so I HAD to withdraw, but it would be interesting if other people checked out their status too and we had some answers to those questions. Thanks for checking, 3Dl, and glad you also officially left!

 

I can honestly say that I have ZERO regrets about leaving. It was/is really hard but if I ever get married I'm going to have a lot fewer reception plates to purchase for people who suck!

 

I did go to a very dark place for a little while from being so strongly "in-group" to be shunned and part of the "out-group" but I've started to not care and I've learned who my real friends and family are. I think I now know love better than any of them ever will and look forward to the rest of my life.

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OMG! eek.gif Those letters/emails from them are cruel and manipulative!

 

Stuff like that only drives me further from Christianity. Sadly, I can still remember when I thought the same way as they do about those who choose to leave. sad.png In the church we are programmed to believe that those who leave do so purely out of defiance against God (the sin of all sins!), a perspective which is mypopic, misguided, inaccurate, and judgmental.

 

Be strong, sister!! (PS. I was raised CRC!)

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