Denyoz Posted July 15, 2013 Author Share Posted July 15, 2013 I can divorce! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Is guilt free living really possible, I have felt guilty for lots of things I have thought and done, but I have learned to embrace my guilt now more than ever. This might sound strange but my guilt has kept me safe and saved my arse so many times, without it I would either(could) be dead now or in jail. Perhaps your guilt works differently than mine? I guess I'd say I'm better at facing my mistakes head on - maybe I feel remorse instead of guilt? As a christian, I kept trying to find some way to attone for the past, thought that I had to hurt myself (feel miserable, do something I didn't want to do to "make up for it") in response to guilt. But I've learned that that you can't fix the past. No ammount of feeling bad about the past will make it not have happened. You just have to accept it. Now, I spend my energy fixing any problems that I have caused in the present instead of trying to erase the past. I respond to awareness that I regret my actions not by turning it into a moral issue and telling myself that I'm inherentily unfixable, but instead I see what led up to me making that mistake and work on changing it for the future. Guilt never motivated me to do better, only to hate myself and wish myself dead. I'd guess that we're using the terms differently, and to you guilt means not repeating your mistakes, while to me it means wallowing in them and getting stuck in the past. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claireann Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Is guilt free living really possible, I have felt guilty for lots of things I have thought and done, but I have learned to embrace my guilt now more than ever. This might sound strange but my guilt has kept me safe and saved my arse so many times, without it I would either(could) be dead now or in jail. When I think of guilt free living I mean free from feeling guilty about just living my normal life without the cloud hanging over me that I ought to be doing something for God with it. Like if I just enjoy a day out with friends for the sake of it or if I decide that I want to pursue a course or a hobby purely for the enjoyment of it or to further my own knowledge, independent of doing it "for the kingdom" or to try to evangelise the people with me. As a christian I felt guilt over so many things that should have been just normal, joyful aspects of my life because either they were frowned on my the church or because I wasn't doing them with some God agenda hitched on to them. Guilt for doing something cruel or hurtful to another person is something I should feel but I don't see those things as being innocent parts of my day-to-day life. Or at least I wouldn't want them to be! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 15, 2013 Moderator Share Posted July 15, 2013 I can divorce! ....and then you can re-marry with no guilt!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Indeed, being divorced doesn't bother me in the slightest. It was the sensible, rational thing to do. What doesn't make a bit of sense is my Christian mother sending me tracts and her testimony when she has to know on at least one level, that already I know all of this. It is a pathetic attempt to assuage her guilt for having an unsaved member of her own family. That doesn't play well in fundamentalism. I am so glad I am not desperate. I don't care if other people are religious or not. I don't think my non-christian friends are going to hell. What a relief! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExXex Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 Not sure which is my favourite - don't have to like/sing Christian music or don't have to pretend I'm not wired to enjoy sex-related matters despite not being married haha. They are kinda linked though, some of those songs were so repetitive my mind used to drift... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 I don't have to spend 20 hours per week practicing my God-given music talent, just to be ready for Wednesday night and Sunday performances and for rehearsals on Mondays and Thursdays. (If the talent is God-given, why do I have to practice so hard? Shouldn't it come more naturally, especially since I am using it for his glory? And am I not allowed to give my parents any credit for all those years of piano lessons, and for buying me my gorgeous trumpet and encouraging my band participation? And am I not allowed to feel any pride for working so hard and sacrificing so much time... and getting my performance right?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 16, 2013 Moderator Share Posted July 16, 2013 I don't have to sit here and figure out anymore when jesus is coming back and if he did in a split second, will I actually get caught thinking a bad thought or 'something sinful' when he 'arrives', therefore.......not being able to shoot up into the sky with him and all the others? This thought used to torture me. No more fear!!!! ..........the eagle can't take me!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
directionless Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 I can search for hope and meaning in life with less fear (hopefully, maybe, someday ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendyLine Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 I'm enjoying the simple things. Like being able to say "Goddammit!" when I drop a plate in the kitchen. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ISISBrett Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I can enjoy watching things I want without having to think about a deity's POV of the show. The Christian Deity will hate Sunny in Philly in example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I'm just glad that I don't need to be afraid of Satan trying to tempt me to sin every time I see a woman I'm attracted to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGuitar Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 Ugh Joyce Meyers. Yes, so glad I am not a Christian. What miserable people. Really. Amen those evangelists are really disgusting wretches... Even Billy graham is throwing it away and now says followers of others religions can get to Heaven...after he scared a few billion people into "giving their life to christ"...poor bastards..why did anyone listen to that famatical hillbilly in the first place? Christianity causes the soul to die and people to eat themselves alive...its sad..but still...in my view...there is Karma (in a sense) and we do need to love others...so there ARE imperatives...Jesus or no Jesus...without some concensus that love and kindness matter we end up worse than animals...let's face the fact we have needs and we want others (at least some others) to love us and be nice to us so we have to show that to others...so rejecting Jesus doesnt mean it just fine and dandy if you are a total ass hat...thinking you can do whatever you want to anyone is a good way to end up on a slab before your time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hoseki Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I can actually plan a holiday vacation that doesn't involve church or people I can't stand No more worrying that reading about another's way of life will make me stray from the "right" path I don't have to put people down who are living a normal, human life I can say no to womanly duties such as babysitting and nursery without hurting the sky man's feelings No more trying to explain the world using only the tools given to me by the church I can stay up until 6am on Sunday morning and draw...then sleep all day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted July 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted July 21, 2013 Oh the joy of seeing a rainbow.... ......and knowing that is isn't a reminder that our so called wonderful 'gawd' will not flood the earth again to teach his 'fucked up' creation a lesson. It's just a wonderful, beautiful rainbow........ nice to look at now...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SouvCUZv330 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisstavrous Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Ignore this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisstavrous Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Oh the joy of seeing a rainbow.... ......and knowing that is isn't a reminder that our so called wonderful 'gawd' will not flood the earth again to teach his 'fucked up' creation a lesson. It's just a wonderful, beautiful rainbow........ nice to look at now...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SouvCUZv330 I can see a pot of gold. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 The rainbow is the symbol of the enlightened mind in Buddhism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheild Maiden Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Don't have to attend church. Don't have to worry about sinning. Don't have to worry about praying before eating. Can appreciate people for who they really are without worrying about their soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Tell me how you get rid of guilt even as an exchristian. There may not be such a thing as sin, but there sure are things that are wrong. Extreme examples: child molestation and murder. Not htat I have ever done anything so bad, but I'm trying to make the point that there are things we have all done which we wish we had not, as when we hurt friends or family through anger, carelessness or selfishness. When the recipient is dead how do you undo hurting him/her? bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 One of the most liberating things to me is that I can recognize and embrace a darker side of myself without fear of Satan -- it's an aspect of myself, it's not "infernal intervention", it's not possession/oppression from demonic forces, it's just a very human aspect of myself that likes dark shit sometimes. I enjoy dark music and themes. I used to consider that some sort of demonic/satanic/fallen aspect of myself. Now I just recognize it as myself. It's good to be a whole person, and not half of one who's ashamed of the other half. Which is a reality that most Christians face every single day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneTarus Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Don't have to deal with phony people that claim to be my friends at bible study or church or whatever and then pretend they don't know me at all outside of church. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted August 25, 2013 Author Share Posted August 25, 2013 Tell me how you get rid of guilt even as an exchristian. There may not be such a thing as sin, but there sure are things that are wrong. Extreme examples: child molestation and murder. Not htat I have ever done anything so bad, but I'm trying to make the point that there are things we have all done which we wish we had not, as when we hurt friends or family through anger, carelessness or selfishness. When the recipient is dead how do you undo hurting him/her? bill How to get rid of the guilt. Good point. What I do is remind myself that god (the creator of the universe, whoever he/she is) forgives all sins. All we have to do is ask. This is what the Catholic Church taught me. So I kept this belief because it suits me and makes sense to me. The Universe forgives me. Blake makes a good point. Humans are not all good. We are evil too. We hurt each other, always have and always will. We usually don't even do it on purpose. Animals do it too (porcupines). Plants too (poison ivy). The planet earth hurts us continuously (volcanoes, tornadoes, hurricanes). The sun does it too (sunburns). It's normal and natural to be this way. Why should humans be any different? It's only the stupid religions that tell us we have to be good and not hurt anyone. The truth is we can do what we want and it's usually your own consciense that accuses you. When I hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally and feel guilty about it, I try to fix the damage. Some of the damage might not be fixable. Then I don't worry about it. I tell myself that I'm not any worse than my mother Earth and father Sun. I'm a child of the universe proud of the good and evil that I do. I'd like to know how other ex-christians deal with guilt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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