Lilith666 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I've got nothing against "God" in general, because I don't know if there is one. So this punishment is for biblegod only. I would make him be a gay Wiccan kid in the Westboro Baptist Church. Then I would send him to ancient Israel, where he would be a 13-year-old girl who slept with her boyfriend, got found out by her "husband" and stoned. Then he would come back to life as a Midianite girl who just watched the murder of her entire family and be gang-raped by Israelite soldiers. He would spend the rest of his life popping out sons for his rapist-husband (Numbers 31). After his death, I would send him to hell for not believing in the god of the people who destroyed his country. In his next short lives, he would be various animals who got unnecessarily sacrificed to satisfy the god's ego. After that, he would come back as other people whom he or his followers victimized, such as Hagar, Isaac, Jacob's slave-wives, Job and family, the Amalekites, Esau, the dead Egyptians, and everyone else. He would spend one life as each of these people, so maybe 400,000 lives just for the Amalekites, 500,000 for the Midianites, and so on. But shouldn't this be in Rants and Replies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I've got nothing against "God" in general, because I don't know if there is one. So this punishment is for biblegod only. I would make him be a gay Wiccan kid in the Westboro Baptist Church. Then I would send him to ancient Israel, where he would be a 13-year-old girl who slept with her boyfriend, got found out by her "husband" and stoned. Then he would come back to life as a Midianite girl who just watched the murder of her entire family and be gang-raped by Israelite soldiers. He would spend the rest of his life popping out sons for his rapist-husband (Numbers 31). After his death, I would send him to hell for not believing in the god of the people who destroyed his country. In his next short lives, he would be various animals who got unnecessarily sacrificed to satisfy the god's ego. After that, he would come back as other people whom he or his followers victimized, such as Hagar, Isaac, Jacob's slave-wives, Job and family, the Amalekites, Esau, the dead Egyptians, and everyone else. He would spend one life as each of these people, so maybe 400,000 lives just for the Amalekites, 500,000 for the Midianites, and so on. But shouldn't this be in Rants and Replies? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TristanJay Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 But shouldn't this be in Rants and Replies? Yeah, I've been wishing I had thought of that when I first post the topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Nothing. If the xtian god is going to be that petty, cruel and careless, then he isn't worth another nanosecond of my life. I would however love to see him get a snoot full of what his followers dish out, starting with all the shit the Catholic church continues to pull, along with the cruelty and abuse from church members (especially the gossip junkies). The icing on the cake would be the fairweather convenience friends that can't be bothered to give a damn when he's in need and ignore him. Then again, gods always behave like the people who created them. And time kills all gods. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisstavrous Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 If I had power over god, I would turn him into a rat and put him in a maze that has shifting walls and a exit that only leads to a terrible place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 I'd fuck 'im good 'cause christians seem to be waiting for him to come again for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 I'd put him on earth in and remain silent and let him figure out the truth among thousands of stories/religions. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstar Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 There's a refrain in a favourite song of mine, "Angels with silver wingsShouldn't know sufferingI wish I could take the pain for youIf God has a master planThat only He understandsI hope it's your eyes He's seeing through" "Precious" ~ written by Martin Gore, Depeche Mode Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Ravenstar: great poem. bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 "..and then I would force him to become a hairdresser and stand behind the chair for 40 years as I did hearing horror story after horror story. Within his own community clientele, he would hear about rape, death, murder, cancer, torture, accidents, sickness of every kind, children being killed by cars, children stolen at Disneyworld that caused insanity for the mother.... and on and on and on..... with more horror stories of depression and suicide and on and on.......I would force him to listen to the stories of men and woman who lost their minds and didn't know who their own children were...Yes, I would demand that he listen until he was so depressed that he would hang himself for his betrayal, like Judas..... and on top of this...he would have to make them all happy with their hair....." Margee Gawd, Margee, I never thought about hair dressers' having to listen to all that. That's as bad as what divorce attorney's listen to. When you were a christian you had all the answers for them, I bet. We all did. What a change you must have had at work when you deconverted. bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaitingInfinity Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 For the most part, everyone is a lot more nice about what they would do to God versus what Christians say he will do to nonbelievers. Author of morality? My foot. If I could do something to God, I would probably make him watch me do a better job than him at: -revelation (no 2000 year old books or stupid little "miracles" that are indistinguishable from coincidence or scientific explanation), -morality (I would probably add some additional points to the 10 Commandments like treat all equally and no slavery or genocide for starters), -sanity (no testing of Adam and Eve in the Garden and no weird-Jesus-sacrifice for sin should sin ever enter the world but why would I allow for the possibility of that in the first place?), -consistency (no changing of my rules from the Old to New Testament), -and love (self-explanatory). And I wouldn't have to coerce people into loving me with the threat of hell. People would love me because they chose to love me because I would be worthy of love. And if someone didn't love me, sure, I might feel bad, but it's their choice. Loving me (or my son who is me as well) wouldn't be a requirement to get into heaven. And in heaven, no eternal praise please. That would get old and boring really fast. "Could you please pipe down? Can't I have a moment of time to think about anything in peace? You've sung "God's Not Dead" a billion times already. Please don't sing it again, for the love of god, my ears." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorPoet Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 This is a fun topic to think about. 1. Make him write a new book, himself. Write it in a way that makes sense and doesn't contradict itself. He would also need to somehow adequately justify every single instance of suffering and death he caused, in terms that are easily understood, no "mysterious ways" cop outs. 2. Everybody currently in hell gets a retrial. If they are found to be a relatively decent person who had legitimate reasons for not believing in his plan for salvation, they go to heaven and they also have all memories of their time in hell removed. If they are truly beyond redemption, they serve a reasonable sentence in hell, and then get annihilated. No more infinite punishment for finite crimes. 3. In addition to a new book, he must make himself known to humanity in a way that is beyond question. Do a couple miracles or speak directly to the entire human race to show beyond a doubt that he is real. 4. Stop hating gay people. 5. Stop the obsession with people having sex only in the specified manner that his followers currently preach. 6. Carrying out murder, terrorism or war in his name is the new unforgivable sin. 7. Men and women are to be treated as equals, no exceptions. 8. Death is a necessary part of life, but excessive pain and suffering leading to it are to end. No more diseases that cause excessive pain or other debilitating symptoms prior to death are allowed. That's all I got for now. I'm sure I'll think of more soon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 For the most part, everyone is a lot more nice about what they would do to God versus what Christians say he will do to nonbelievers. Author of morality? My foot. I just now noticed that. I guess it's another way of showing that xtianity doesn't have the market cornered on morality. Hell, they've twisted it around so much that I don't think they have any idea what it really means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBluegrassSkeptic Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Well, first of all, I would have to be sure IT really did anything that is alleged in that stupid fucking book that is constantly being rewritten, mistranslated, and having whole books ommitted from. I really cannot get beyond that point. Forget the fact that I would see IT as an alien or something anyway, not a deity to be worshipped. If we cannot accept the bible as proof of a deity, why on earth even fantasize about such torture against a being that might not have a clue as to what is happening? Surely you can see the entire conflict with this entire exercise in Tarantino-ism. You are basically being no better than the religious that condemn us by deciding to do horrible things to it based on a book you don't normally accept as evidence. Seems awfully fucking convenient. Just sayin'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 I'd fuck 'im good 'cause christians seem to be waiting for him to come again for some reason. >.< People have been making fun of "Come, Lord Jesus, Come" forever....haha.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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