wyson Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 God, what torture... maybe its a Jesus was perfect and you must emulate him thing? How many times, in how many churches did I hear "do what Jesus would do" , "Jesus was the original / perfect Christian and as a Christian it is your duty to emulate him" "Jesus sets the example" What kind of nonsense it is to tell someone to emulate and try to become someone / thing that is held up to be perfect. Damaging nonsense. If it is this teaching, maybe finding out about the REAL JESUS, the so called perfect role model might be a good idea to debunk the myth? Its something I am still investigating, but right now I adhere to the theory he was an educated religious teacher with paranoid schizophrenia, whose croonies mythologised him out of all proportion. Just as right now, in Iran, many people mentally ill people claim to be the Madhi (a sort of islamic prophet / jesus figure), in Jesus's time, there were many people who wondered around claiming to be the saviour. Or perhaps its a sinner thing? It certainly was for me. As Jesus died for my sins, I literally thought that by sinning, I was killing Jesus, renailing him to the cross. It got to the stage, like even something simple, like taking credit at work for a good bit of work, would result in excruciating emotional pain. How dare I take credit for it? I am a worthless wretch, everything, all my talents are due to His power, His grace. My work, my ambitions must be for his glory! Needless to say, this state of affairs couldn't carry on. For me, over a number of years, (helped by Marlene Winell, Dorothy Rowe and other authors), I got to the stage where I take personal responsibility for what I do, and see making mistakes as part of the learning experience. Without supernatural help (which doesn't exist), I can only try my best with the limited time, knowledge and resources that all people who live on planet earth have to contend with. I expect to make mistakes like everyone else! I take pleasure in even small achievements. Damn it, I worked hard for my skills, and no one is going to take that credit away from me! If I make mistakes, I try to acknowledge them and adjust and carry on. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel for you. Hope you are getting therapy / reading the right sort of books? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyson Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I suppose making mistakes could also be seen as an indictment of your lack of faith and therefore your inability to channel the supernatural, through which all good / perfection etc. arises. Rather than accepting the reality that all people make mistakes some of the time, that a true Christian channelling to supernatural can "move mountains" through their faith. Who knows... enough speculation from me. What do you think is the cause of your guilt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I was thinking to myself this morning about the amount of guilt that I have felt over my whole life. I'm serious...I think I felt guilty for everything! Even when I did real good and was following the bible to the best of my ability....I still felt guilt. I always was down on myself constantly thinking I could have done better. I was one of those arrogant Christians (I use that term with a hint of sarcasm to mean that I thought I was one of the 'chosen' ones... Lol) that thought I had to save the whole world. I know the feeling. I have what I call "an overactive guilty conscience". I still often feel guilty/embarrassed for things I said or did 20+ years ago. Although, I have to say that I would rather feel that way than remember every single little wrong thing that was ever done to me. I know a few people like that and they just aren't nice people. Nothing is ever their fault. Bleh. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I have never felt "good enough." Probably because the standard of perfection I was raised with was God, and he is perfect. We were supposed to be like him. Well, I have made a lot of mistakes in life, and I just have to go on and live with the results. That's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I'm still working on finding motivation for life other than guilt. On top of the christian thing (supposedly god loves you unconditionally, but that only counts after you "admit that you're a sinner"), my parents were very authoritarian. Obedience is one of the highest virtues, heirarchical authority with god at the top, then parents, then kids - so going against authority means going against god. Except when I'd obey the wrong authority? If I'd "give in to peer pressure" or think an adult with the "wrong" ideas might be on to something, then I was bad again. I had a very conditional view of love (still do, honestly, and it causes problems when I get scared and clingy with friendships) where being "bad" meant I wasn't loved. No surprise that I've sometimes thought that suicide might be the best thing I could do for the people around me. Anyone else get taught the J. O.Y. acronym as a kid? "Jesus, others, you". Your own needs always come after other people's wants. I get that teaching compassion is important, and making kids understand that the world doesn't revolve around them. But... you should never teach a person that they always come last. You should teach them that other people are their equals and that each person has a right, and some degree of responsibility, to take care of their own needs while not infringing on the rights of others. And that once your own needs are taken care of, then it can bring you joy to help out other people. And no, helping other people out for the buz you get in return doesn't negate the good you've done and earn you less brownie points with god (unless you're a self-righteous jerk about it to the people you're helping or your peers who aren't volunteering). I've known quite a while that "if I can just stay happy, I'll be productive". Except... I'd only had people demonstrate guilt as a motivator, so I didn't know how to pull that off. So then I felt guilty for not feeling happy! I'm trying to reprogram myself to have compassion on myself (but that's like... condoning sin!) when I screw up and then just let myself try again. But it's hard. I tend to just crumble under fear and guilt and think that that's a reflection of a permanent character flaw, that if I screw up once I may as well just give up because it's never going to get any better. I'm trying to forgive myself for past mistakes - which is completely different than refusing to apologise or make reparations when you hurt other people - a difference that totally gets missed when the important part about sin is making god sad instead of the harm you've done to actual humans. I remember being a little bothered as a kid when some lesson about David praised him for groveling before god before doing anything to repair the human relationships he'd damaged; supposedly that meant he had his priorities straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I was thinking to myself this morning about the amount of guilt that I have felt over my whole life. I'm serious...I think I felt guilty for everything! Even when I did real good and was following the bible to the best of my ability....I still felt guilt. I always was down on myself constantly thinking I could have done better. I was one of those arrogant Christians (I use that term with a hint of sarcasm to mean that I thought I was one of the 'chosen' ones... Lol) that thought I had to save the whole world. I know the feeling. I have what I call "an overactive guilty conscience". I still often feel guilty/embarrassed for things I said or did 20+ years ago. Although, I have to say that I would rather feel that way than remember every single little wrong thing that was ever done to me. I know a few people like that and they just aren't nice people. Nothing is ever their fault. Bleh. Phew I'm not alone. I can't believe how I'll think of some stupid ass thing I did years ago and still feel shame or guilt! But you are so right, I'd rather be like that then remember any bad thing someone ever did to ME. Maybe I'm not so bad after all? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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