I'm Scared. I'm Anxious. I'm Afraid.

[Flutters]

Zelda,

 

I read your post with great empathy. I want to reach out to you and give you some assurance, because I know all too well what it is like to live with this particular kind of fear. Please allow me to be frank, and in doing so I may unintentionally cause offense to you, or a family emember. Obviously you care about your Dad, or what he is saying would have no effect on oyu, so I don't wish to tamper with that, but in my tendency to be too direct, I may sound like a douchebag.

 

Your Dad is in a cult, and I don;t mean the idea that christianity is a cult ( which in my opinion it is ), but what is often referred to as a doomsday cult. This need not require Kool-Aid and sex to qualify, but the adherence to these end time prophetic callins fits the criteria of a cult. I was in a similar cult, very doomsday, very "imminent destruction of the earth and return of christ" sort of stuff. Of course, you don't now that when you get hooked into it. Your Dad is a victim, and now that he is infected with this cult virus, he is spreading it, which is exactly how it works.

 

I'm afraid to say that the only way to detox from that is to cut it off at the source. At some point you will need to make a stand that you will not tolerate discussions on religious matters, if you are to maintain a peaceful relationship. For now, you need to find a way to bide your time until you can leave. The best defense is going to be some time spent researching the basic origins of these sorts of cults, and you will see most of them boil down to the same small groups which began in the mid 1800's. What you are experiencing is a splinter among many splinters of these original groups. Infighting and power struggles, doctrinal wars and rules have torn these groups apart for decades and decades, resulting in a variety os flavourful end time prophetic "called and chosen" groups. The "elect", and all those buzz words are a very powerful and enticing drug for people who are so fearful of a changing world that they can only see it as a sign of something wrong. People who long for redemption, importance, healing, restitution and absolution. They are hungry for guaranteed acceptance and deep down, where they may not even know it exists, is a motivator that seeks to rise above others and watch their comeuppance. I'm sorry that your father is a part of this.

 

I deleted all my counter-cult research and information once I accepted that religion and god was not real, and so if you'll permit me a little bit of time, i shall try to recall as much of that information as I can. But let this be of some comfort - there are thousands upon thousands of end time prophecy churches, all claiming divine revelation, all claiming to be chosen and called, and all testifying that they alone have been given the inner knowledge that comes from faith and obedience. They prey on the vulnerable, the hurting, and the tendency for the human mind to always have just the tiniest amount of "What if..?" in them. What is also eye opening, is listening to these other groups say exactly the same things, claim exactly the same status of spirit given knowledge, claim to have the hidden secrets revealed to them about the end times, and claim to be the only "true" church. For example, just youtube the Heavens Gate cult, and you'll see all the same catch phrases, buzz words and predictions of the end of America. They are to be pitied, as they have become their own victims, swallowed wholly by their own deepest needs and desires, and go to death believing it. I'll try to post some links for you in the next few days, but forgive me if I am forgetful.

 

My heart reaches out to you, and I want to tell you not to be afraid, but know that for ages, people have lived in terror of this very thing, and it takes a real break with reality to finally accept that it IS the same thing as has always happened - people falling prey to fear and doubt. Fear is perhaps the most powerful motivator of all. Please continue to talk as you need to, and know that at least in my case, you are not alone in being exposed to this sort of stuff, I was there. You can break free, and do not be ashamed for having a normal human response to perceived threat.

[zeldarocks]

Zelda,

 

I read your post with great empathy. I want to reach out to you and give you some assurance, because I know all too well what it is like to live with this particular kind of fear. Please allow me to be frank, and in doing so I may unintentionally cause offense to you, or a family emember. Obviously you care about your Dad, or what he is saying would have no effect on oyu, so I don't wish to tamper with that, but in my tendency to be too direct, I may sound like a douchebag.

 

Your Dad is in a cult, and I don;t mean the idea that christianity is a cult ( which in my opinion it is ), but what is often referred to as a doomsday cult. This need not require Kool-Aid and sex to qualify, but the adherence to these end time prophetic callins fits the criteria of a cult. I was in a similar cult, very doomsday, very "imminent destruction of the earth and return of christ" sort of stuff. Of course, you don't now that when you get hooked into it. Your Dad is a victim, and now that he is infected with this cult virus, he is spreading it, which is exactly how it works.

 

I'm afraid to say that the only way to detox from that is to cut it off at the source. At some point you will need to make a stand that you will not tolerate discussions on religious matters, if you are to maintain a peaceful relationship. For now, you need to find a way to bide your time until you can leave. The best defense is going to be some time spent researching the basic origins of these sorts of cults, and you will see most of them boil down to the same small groups which began in the mid 1800's. What you are experiencing is a splinter among many splinters of these original groups. Infighting and power struggles, doctrinal wars and rules have torn these groups apart for decades and decades, resulting in a variety os flavourful end time prophetic "called and chosen" groups. The "elect", and all those buzz words are a very powerful and enticing drug for people who are so fearful of a changing world that they can only see it as a sign of something wrong. People who long for redemption, importance, healing, restitution and absolution. They are hungry for guaranteed acceptance and deep down, where they may not even know it exists, is a motivator that seeks to rise above others and watch their comeuppance. I'm sorry that your father is a part of this.

 

I deleted all my counter-cult research and information once I accepted that religion and god was not real, and so if you'll permit me a little bit of time, i shall try to recall as much of that information as I can. But let this be of some comfort - there are thousands upon thousands of end time prophecy churches, all claiming divine revelation, all claiming to be chosen and called, and all testifying that they alone have been given the inner knowledge that comes from faith and obedience. They prey on the vulnerable, the hurting, and the tendency for the human mind to always have just the tiniest amount of "What if..?" in them. What is also eye opening, is listening to these other groups say exactly the same things, claim exactly the same status of spirit given knowledge, claim to have the hidden secrets revealed to them about the end times, and claim to be the only "true" church. For example, just youtube the Heavens Gate cult, and you'll see all the same catch phrases, buzz words and predictions of the end of America. They are to be pitied, as they have become their own victims, swallowed wholly by their own deepest needs and desires, and go to death believing it. I'll try to post some links for you in the next few days, but forgive me if I am forgetful.

 

My heart reaches out to you, and I want to tell you not to be afraid, but know that for ages, people have lived in terror of this very thing, and it takes a real break with reality to finally accept that it IS the same thing as has always happened - people falling prey to fear and doubt. Fear is perhaps the most powerful motivator of all. Please continue to talk as you need to, and know that at least in my case, you are not alone in being exposed to this sort of stuff, I was there. You can break free, and do not be ashamed for having a normal human response to perceived threat.

In retrospect, I'm finding that I'm not so much worried about "God's Judgement," but rather about the concept that my livelyhood will be disturbed. It seems to be a "fear of the unknown," characterized by fear over Nuclear War, the possibility of societal collapse, and the threats posed by terrorists and foreign governments (Venezuela, Iran, Russia, China, etc).

[moanareina]

Isn't it funny how even Paul is writing in his letters about people who stopped working because they thought the end would be near and so they spent time to minister instead...and how he mocks them and thinks they where taking this too far? Somehow we like that idea of the world going to end don't we? Every year there are so many prophecies about the end.

 

I live in between some major conflicts you could call prophecies coming true...like the one in Russia and then Syria and Israel... Now if they where signs that the bible was right and if they where signs of the end being near...so what? Why should I be afraid? We should keep on living to show them that there are other ways to live together than in conflict.

 

Why should your dad be afraid? If he is a Christian, he should be full of joy if he really thinks the end is near. I mean, he would be close to see his Creator face to face...isn't this what those fundie nuts are so eager about?

 

I decided not to care about that stuff and live my life. If the end is near or not...I have a job, a flat, friends and I am alive. I can celebrate life each day by not being afraid of a supposed end to come.

 

And all those what ifs. They serve nothing. Celebrate life as it happens. If there will be disturbance to your livelihood you can deal with it when it happens. But as long as there is no such thing all your worries only will do is making your life miserable. Don't let anyone steal your life from you. It is you who is in charge of it. Societal collapse has been hanging in the air since ever. Did it happen?

[zeldarocks]

My dad is listening to this YouTube video, ugh:

I'm fucking angry with him. I know he didn't do it out of spite, but I've already told him that he is giving me panic attacks with this bullshit. He's more worried about my "eternal destiny." Fuck him and everything about him.

 

It's funny... When he married my mom (he's technically my step-dad) he gave me his last name. I can't fucking WAIT to marry my boyfriend, shove that fucking name up his ass.

EDIT: My parents asked me to remove my relationship status from my Facebook, as it would bring reproach to them as ministers. I told them, absolutely not. I made it quite clear that I would not allow them to hide me away in shame and embarrassment.

[Flutters]

Oh Zelda, I feel such compassion for you, knowing they are in ministry. I'm afraid to call it, but it would appear almost impossible at this point to remove them from this cultic group. If they are now ministering, they have drank the Kool-Aid. I'm sorry for being so blunt, because i mean it with the most sincere compassion in the world.

 

You said that you were more worried about this end of the world stuff than you were god's judgement. While that is good, god's judgement in that bible of theirs is for the destruction of the earth, and judgement for all. Cult fundies take that to the extreme, and in the case of the one I found myself in, begin to prepare for the upcoming tribulation, and let slide matters of this life in favour of the one to come. They end up not living this life at all, waiting breathlessly for the reward of the next one. The one where they will be kings and priests (religious royalty) and rule with their god.

 

All of these end time prophecies are quite effective in promoting division, anxiety and alarm. The sole pupose is to create an inner isolation from this world.

 

Have you ever seen an end time fundie who invested in this life? ( except of course, for their tribulation water and food rations)

 

Have you ever seen them care sincerely and through action about the plight of the poor, the hungry, the war ravaged? (No, because it's all part of the plan, and signs of the end times - how convenient for them to afford such thinking while they eat, drink and live in relative peace)

 

Have you ever seen them actually give anything up for others? ( as in, would they willingly go into the tribulation and give up their seat of honour in god's kingdom forever to save an atheist?)

 

The answers should have something to say about motive, intention and purpose of this ideology. In my experience, every fundie cult member is so self absorbed and selfish, just drooling at the bit for their precious crown of validation, so they can finally show everyone THEY were right. It's some of the worst ego I have ever seen, wrapped in a pretty little jesus bow with "we love you" stamped on it.

 

I want to again assure you that all this fear mongering and end time stuff, the kind that makes your gut wrench, your legs wobbly, and lets doubt plant itself into your mind, causing it to become consumed with "what if they're right?" (after all, a lot of the stuff they spew about end times sure seems to be happening!) is intentional. It isn;t god speaking to you, and giving you your only warning, or only calling. It's fear tactics, and thought reform.  This is known as spiritual abuse.

 

http://www.ex-cult.org/General/lifton-criteria

 

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cultinfo.html

 

http://www.cultnews.com/category/endtimes/

 

http://www.spiritualabuse.com/

 

Spend some tiem reading and learning. Knowledge can destroy fear.

[zeldarocks]

Mom just dropped a bombshell on me: she cares more about "Jesus and His Second Coming" than she cares for me and her husband.
 

BTW, I just looked up the characteristics of Brainwashing, this sure seems familiar...
 

    1.    new identification,

I am a "son/daughter of the King"

  

    2.    behavior modification

Serve God above all else

    3.    mystical manipulation
You must believe in God and His Word

    4.    mind-altering techniques
The End is nigh!!! You must repent and get right with God!!!
    

   5.    confession eliciting

Confess your sins to God so that you may receive forgiveness
 

[bornagainathiest]

Get out of there asap, Zelda.

 

The stuff I wrote about the Blood Moon lunacy (pun intended!) is still worth reading and absorbing to defuse the fear - but getting out of your toxic family situation now takes precedence, imho.

 

Please take care,

 

BAA

[Ellinas]

Zelda,

 

Your last couple of posts betray anger.  Others may disagree with this, but I consider that to be a good thing.  You need to resist the pressure to which you are being subjected.  You need to get out.  You need to protect yourself.  Your anger is both a motivator and a source of strength for you in those matters.

 

Now is not the time to forgive, far less forget the rubbish that is oppressing you.  That can wait.  For now, use your anger to break free.

[midniterider]

My dad is listening to this YouTube video, ugh:

 

 

I'm fucking angry with him. I know he didn't do it out of spite, but I've already told him that he is giving me panic attacks with this bullshit. He's more worried about my "eternal destiny." Fuck him and everything about him.

 

It's funny... When he married my mom (he's technically my step-dad) he gave me his last name. I can't fucking WAIT to marry my boyfriend, shove that fucking name up his ass.

 

EDIT: My parents asked me to remove my relationship status from my Facebook, as it would bring reproach to them as ministers. I told them, absolutely not. I made it quite clear that I would not allow them to hide me away in shame and embarrassment.

 

So your Dad is worshiping the Apocalypse Idol. Jesus won't like that.

 

"When the rapture comes I won't have to put up with your baloney anymore, Dad. Lord Jesus, bring it!"

[midniterider]

Mom just dropped a bombshell on me: she cares more about "Jesus and His Second Coming" than she cares for me and her husband.

 

 

That's standard Christian bullshit. And yes, brainwashing is involved in that. Are you of legal age to move out?

[Abrooks2007]

Fun.  We're probably going to get a deadly epidemic of Ebola, the North Koreans are also probably set to invade MacArthur Park (a 'sketchy' neighborhood where I live) and the government of the United States is probably going to get over thrown too.  Oh, and let's not forget to throw in a bed-bug pandemic while we're at it.

 

Anyhow....to be serious:

 

People have been predicting 'doom and gloom' episodes based on the B.S. book of Revelation for a VERY LONG TIME.  Every century, every year, and, in some wacko denominations EVERY DAY, there is some stupid demagogue spouting off the apocalypse because he or she gets some sick pleasure out of watching people squirm.  I would just ignore him.  Seriously.

 

Andrew

[amateur]

Zelda, you are 21, you are an adult.  Read what everybody else has written.  There is no rapture.  No end of the world.  Life is going to go on for a long time here.  Get out.  Go to Canada with your boyfriend.  You are voluntarily staying with your mom and step-dad while you are an adult.  Get out.  It does not matter how hard it is.  It will be better than being an emotionally-abused adult.

 

As an adult you are responsible for yourself.  Be responsible and take care of yourself now.

 

And as an adult, you can legally change your name to whatever you want, whenever you want.