Poonis Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 A certain elementary school got a new teacher. This new teacher was an atheist and proud of it. In fact, he was always talking about it, and since the kids were fairly young, he intimidated them. One day he boldly announced, “My mother was an atheist, my father was an atheist and I’m an atheist. How many in this room are atheists?” The kids, being a little scared of him, all raised their hands; all except for one little girl. So then he asked her, “Well, what are you then?” She said, “I’m a Christian. My mother is a Christian, my father is a Christian and I’m a Christian too.” The teacher then sarcastically snarled, “If your mother was a moron and your father was a moron, what would that make you?” She thought for a moment and meekly replied, “I guess that would make me an atheist.” Pay attention: There is nothing in this anecdote that anyone can use to verify this story is founded in reality and is nothing more than an indication of a christians desire to "diss" atheists. Deduction can serve to show that such is used because there is no better way for a christian to prove atheists are wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Open_Minded Quoth: They hand out hate filled literature to children as young as 9-10 years old. This is my turf.. If this shit needs some working advise on comabatting this kind of terrorism, feel free to contact me. I live to fight this kind of shit in our local schools, both on and off campus. kevin, mean_old_parent_man, L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nick5 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Here's one of my favorite Christian "jokes". The Christian and the Bear One fair spring morning, a devout Christian decided to take a walk through a nearby wood. Upon entering, he began walking along a narrow dirt path through the lush, green forest admiring all of the things that God had created. "Wow", he thought to himself while taking in the beauty that surrounded him. "What majestic trees!” Then, a faint rustling sound came from somewhere close by. The Christian turned to look but could see nothing and continued walking. His eyes followed a small stream that flowed beside the path. “What a lovely little stream!”, he thought and off to the left, the rustling sound grew louder. The Christian walked a bit faster down the path. Looking up, the Christian said out loud, “What a beautiful sky. God is indeed a very wonderful creator!" Suddenly, a huge grizzly bear emerged from the dense shrubbery and upon seeing the man, started to chase him. The Christian ran along the path for all he was worth, but the bear was almost upon him. The Christian looked back over his shoulder and saw that the bear was only a few yards behind him. The man then tripped over a large rock and fell to the ground beside a small wooden sign attached to a post. The bear, having slowed its pace, lumbered up to the Christian and began to sniff his clothing. The man, laying face down, closed his eyes and prayed in desperation "Heavenly Father, I ask you to please save me from this bear!" As the Christian continued to beseech God, the grizzly let out a ferocious roar and ripped four deep gashes across the man’s back. The Christian screamed in agony while the bear continued tearing and ripping him into bloody shreds of warm flesh. The man, while still being mauled, reached out a feeble hand and touched the signpost just before losing consciousness. When the bear had eaten all it could, it lumbered off in the direction from which it came, leaving the Christian's remains to decompose and rot. Inscribed upon the sign were these words: Matthew 21:22 - "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." The End Omg, I actually laughed out loud when I read that. I think I'm going to turn it into a comic... I've been looking for a good anti-christian story for a short comic, and this is just perfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest newsbite Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I'm curious as to why there hasn't been a humble apology and pride swallowing by newsbite after I showed his "story" to be nothing more than a Christian joke. Even if it was a real story, it is clearly inflammatory, and that he chose to post it here speaks to his character as a human being, and his hypocrisy as a Christian. I do not expect an apology. His fruits speak volumes of words greater than his claims to being a follower of Jesus. I am not trying to proseletize. Some of my best friends are atheists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Open_Minded Quoth: They hand out hate filled literature to children as young as 9-10 years old. This is my turf.. If this shit needs some working advise on comabatting this kind of terrorism, feel free to contact me. I live to fight this kind of shit in our local schools, both on and off campus. kevin, mean_old_parent_man, L Thanks Nivek ... I'll keep that in mind at the beginning of next school year. They usually hit us after the Christmas season, when the kids are preparing for the spring theatre production. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Open_Minded Quoth: They hand out hate filled literature to children as young as 9-10 years old. This is my turf.. If this shit needs some working advise on comabatting this kind of terrorism, feel free to contact me. I live to fight this kind of shit in our local schools, both on and off campus. kevin, mean_old_parent_man, L Thanks Nivek ... I'll keep that in mind at the beginning of next school year. They usually hit us after the Christmas season, when the kids are preparing for the spring theatre production. I don't think you understand... He literally meant what he said. Like - don't be surprised if you call for his help, then the next thing you realize is that you are partially responsible for the air-strike that just took place at the school merely seconds later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 I'm curious as to why there hasn't been a humble apology and pride swallowing by newsbite after I showed his "story" to be nothing more than a Christian joke. Even if it was a real story, it is clearly inflammatory, and that he chose to post it here speaks to his character as a human being, and his hypocrisy as a Christian. I do not expect an apology. His fruits speak volumes of words greater than his claims to being a follower of Jesus. I am not trying to proseletize. Some of my best friends are atheists. And you are making my point. I am not seeing an apology. BTW, Ever hear that joke about how white guys say "I'm not biased! Some of my best friends are black!"? That some of your best friends are atheists changes absolutely nothing. You have offended. Now be a Christian and do your duty to Christ... No forget it. Please don't. Just show us you true colors and either apology, or don't care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 I am not trying to proseletize. Some of my best friends are atheists. And you are making my point. I am not seeing an apology. I see you're still proving my point. Being a born again Christian "means never having to say you're sorry". Rather as I would say it, "being incapable of apologizing because your heart has not been changed from the inside". Your actions are your testimony to the world of what your beliefs are to you: a fraud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 This is my turf.. If this shit needs some working advise on comabatting this kind of terrorism, feel free to contact me. I live to fight this kind of shit in our local schools, both on and off campus. kevin, mean_old_parent_man, L Thanks Nivek ... I'll keep that in mind at the beginning of next school year. They usually hit us after the Christmas season, when the kids are preparing for the spring theatre production. I don't think you understand... He literally meant what he said. Like - don't be surprised if you call for his help, then the next thing you realize is that you are partially responsible for the air-strike that just took place at the school merely seconds later. OMG OK ... maybe I won't contact him. But .... then again.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 OMG OK ... maybe I won't contact him. But .... then again.... You're laughing? Let me rephrase... I don't think you understand... He meant what he said - literally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I am not trying to proseletize. Some of my best friends are atheists. Newsbite, you really should apologize for your behavior. The Violations are too numerous to name. But you really should apologize - immediate - as with every moment you don't, is another minute your stature here gets stripped away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I am not trying to proseletize. Some of my best friends are atheists. Newsbite, you really should apologize for your behavior. The Violations are too numerous to name. But you really should apologize - immediate - as with every moment you don't, is another minute your stature here gets stripped away. If you want a fundi xitan to go away, ask them to sincerely apologize when they have offended you. They can't handle it. It exposes their inablitiy to be humble, and blazes before the world that they are not True Christians, because how could they ask forgiveness from God, when that can't ask it from humans? Txviper is history around here, and I suspect its for this same reason. He was not capable of asking forgiveness from anyone, and hence his religion was exposed as a fraud. He was exposed naked and his crediblity destroyed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrmarlin Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I am not trying to proseletize. Some of my best friends are atheists. Newsbite, you really should apologize for your behavior. The Violations are too numerous to name. But you really should apologize - immediate - as with every moment you don't, is another minute your stature here gets stripped away. If you want a fundi xitan to go away, ask them to sincerely apologize when they have offended you. They can't handle it. It exposes their inablitiy to be humble, and blazes before the world that they are not True Christians, because how could they ask forgiveness from God, when that can't ask it from humans? Txviper is history around here, and I suspect its for this same reason. He was not capable of asking forgiveness from anyone, and hence his religion was exposed as a fraud. He was exposed naked and his crediblity destroyed. From my standpoint most xians don't have any credibility to begin with, but that's just my own "biasness" towards the hypocritical cult. I have seldom seen an xian that was not a hoopin' and hollarin' and havin' a pansey because someone did not see things exactly as they do. If we don't have varying opinions and outlooks, life would be the most boring fucking existence. I would rather talk with people that didn't agree with me all the time. It makes for spicy conversations... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Open_Minded Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 You're laughing? Let me rephrase... I don't think you understand... He meant what he said - literally. Yes I'm laughing Like - don't be surprised if you call for his help, then the next thing you realize is that you are partially responsible for the air-strike that just took place at the school merely seconds later. Literally ... we live 5-6 blocks from the school. Unless nivek uses pinpoint missiles that air-strike could make mincemeat of my flower gardens. To say nothing of my home. My neighbors probably wouldn't be too happy with me either. How about nivek? Do you use smart bomb and pinpoint technology? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 You're laughing? Let me rephrase... I don't think you understand... He meant what he said - literally. Yes I'm laughing Allow me to rephrase once again... I don't think you understand... Nivek doesn't take too kindly to laughing. Especially when it comes to asking him for his type of "help". The price that you will pay for your negligence here, will probably result in a round-house kick to your neck if you ever meet him in person. Like - don't be surprised if you call for his help, then the next thing you realize is that you are partially responsible for the air-strike that just took place at the school merely seconds later. Literally ... we live 5-6 blocks from the school. Unless nivek uses pinpoint missiles that air-strike could make mincemeat of my flower gardens. To say nothing of my home. My neighbors probably wouldn't be too happy with me either. How about nivek? Do you use smart bomb and pinpoint technology? Do you actually think that Nivek concerns himself with flowers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Fwee ya dirty RAT! You probably have this poor parent worried I have the Red Button Zepplin Ove Duume fired off and ready to drop a hydrogenfart on her SkuLLe Districts offices.. Sheeze oldrattonbot, I haven't done a *chuck norris* to anyone in years! kL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Fwee ya dirty RAT! I'm not a rat. (see my avatar) You'll never see a rat sitting on a wheel of cheese and sipping a glass of wine. I doubt that you even see half of the Nivvy-bombs that I drop around this place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I thought those kind of mines were banned by the Geneva Convention, Fwee? Weapons of Mousey Destruction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I doubt that you even see half of the Nivvy-bombs that I drop around this place. Didn't you know? nivek is omnwebpresent and omninternscient, so he knew that you wrote that response even before you posted it, but he decided in his godly benevolence to let your free will be deluded with the illusion that you wrote something that he didn't know of. (And the answer is "no", I don't know either was I just said.) Yet another proof of contradictory logic in Christian concepts. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts