Anushka Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 My mum and dad (especially my mum) harmed me a lot intentionally- verbal abuse, extreme controlling behaviour, stopping me from having friends- even female Christian friends who are from the exact culture we are from. I heard something from my mum that showed that she literally can't stand me being happy or in love. Even though we live under one roof, I stopped talking to them to a great extent because of my mum's continuing controlling behaviour. But, sometimes I feel sorry for them. I mean they fed me, send me to school, gave me a good education. I have a good life only because of them. But, the hurt they caused me and the shit I had to go through because of their EXTREMELY weird psychological games and controlling behaviour is too much for me to forget- mainly because I am still suffering the consequences of their actions. If I start talking to them, they will start controlling me. This I know from over 25 years of experience. And don't tell me that they don't know what they are doing. As I used to think the same. They do know what they are doing, they just don't care. They let and still let other people and society dictate their whole lives- they can stop now- I mean they are in their 50s - no one gives a fuck about their reputation except them. My dad had gotten better towards me. But, because of my mum, I can't be close to him. Just feeling so down. I don't understand why I feel suicidal still- I have wayyy less anxiety issues, I have more confidence, I do about 50-60 percent of things that I want to in my life. ???? Can the way you want your life to be - be a contributing factor towards feeling suicidal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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