A brand new de-convert. It's a bumpy road.

[Dexter]

Hi, my name is Steven and I am from the midwestern US, right along the Bible Belt. There is still much that I am trying to parse through in my mental models and worldview that has been a more arduous journey than I anticipated. So, a little about myself, I grew up Christian (big shock, right). But in a family of true believers. To define what I mean here, I am not referring to belief in belief but rather, true belief. To clarify, I often hear, even now, the accusation of Christian hypocrisy because at a funeral, Christians grieve no differently from atheists. But this was never true for my family. We celebrated. Just recently my Uncle Carol, a very funny man, passed away and the eulogy was given by his brother who had those gathered rolling in laughter about the crazy stories and antics my great uncle used to get into. My mother and grandmother already have their funerals planned out and keep these event plans their Bibles, the cheerful songs to play, the refreshments to serve... We are true believers, unafraid and unapologetic. But, I think, we are also ignorant. And this is a crushing admission for me. We have always prided ourselves on our intelligence. Two of my sisters were Salutatorians and one only because she missed half of her Junior year due to mono. I am also (reasonably) well educated. At least, on the right side of the bell curve. And I am still a little lost at the moment. For the sake of my own therapy and to try to figure things out, I am writing my testimonial that I hope to have posted tonight on that topic board. Undoubtedly a TL;DR but something that I feel I need to write and post for me, if for no one else. 

 

I am kind of new to this. Please be gentle. 

[Margee]

7 minutes ago, Dexter said:

Hi, my name is Steven and I am from the midwestern US, right along the Bible Belt. There is still much that I am trying to parse through in my mental models and worldview that has been a more arduous journey than I anticipated. So, a little about myself, I grew up Christian (big shock, right). But in a family of true believers. To define what I mean here, I am not referring to belief in belief but rather, true belief. To clarify, I often hear, even now, the accusation of Christian hypocrisy because at a funeral, Christians grieve no differently from atheists. But this was never true for my family. We celebrated. Just recently my Uncle Carol, a very funny man, passed away and the eulogy was given by his brother who had those gathered rolling in laughter about the crazy stories and antics my great uncle used to get into. My mother and grandmother already have their funerals planned out and keep these event plans their Bibles, the cheerful songs to play, the refreshments to serve... We are true believers, unafraid and unapologetic. But, I think, we are also ignorant. And this is a crushing admission for me. We have always prided ourselves on our intelligence. Two of my sisters were Salutatorians and one only because she missed half of her Junior year due to mono. I am also (reasonably) well educated. At least, on the right side of the bell curve. And I am still a little lost at the moment. For the sake of my own therapy and to try to figure things out, I am writing my testimonial that I hope to have posted tonight on that topic board. Undoubtedly a TL;DR but something that I feel I need to write and post for me, if for no one else. 

 

I am kind of new to this. Please be gentle. 

 

Welcome to Ex-c Dexter. You've come to the right place. We understand what you are going through. We were all, (according to our different churches) also '' True Believers'! Lol For instance, in my church, you had to speak in tongues or you weren't really blessed yet (completely) until you did receive this special gift from the holy spirit.  And some truly thought you were not saved if you did not speak in tongues. We got tons of stories for you so sit back and relax. Post all your worries, fears and concerns because someone is always around to listen to what you have to say. Get ready my dear. Sometimes it can be a bit of a bumpy road. You are about to find a new worldview and it can be a little confusing. But you will get through this! Read a lot on the pasts posts and you will see that you are not alone! So glad you found us!

 

((hug))

[disillusioned]

Hi Steven,  and welcome! Many of us can remember the feeling of being lost. It does get easier in time.

Looking forward to reading your extimony.

[TruthSeeker0]

Hello and welcome! You're walking where many people have walked before, and it's hard, but you deserve congratulations, because you're on your way to freedom.

[Dexter]

Thanks everyone. I do appreciate it. Here is my testimonial. It's really more for me than anything. I just needed to tell the story to get it off my chest. Thanks

 

 

[◊ DestinyTurtle ◊]

Welcome, @Dexter! Interesting how people can be intelligent and ignorant at the same time, isn't it? In some ways I suspect we come from a similar environment. I hope you find find this place as helpful as I have!

[Dexter]

15 hours ago, Margee said:

 

Welcome to Ex-c Dexter. You've come to the right place. We understand what you are going through. We were all, (according to our different churches) also '' True Believers'! Lol For instance, in my church, you had to speak in tongues or you weren't really blessed yet (completely) until you did receive this special gift from the holy spirit.  And some truly thought you were not saved if you did not speak in tongues. We got tons of stories for you so sit back and relax. Post all your worries, fears and concerns because someone is always around to listen to what you have to say. Get ready my dear. Sometimes it can be a bit of a bumpy road. You are about to find a new worldview and it can be a little confusing. But you will get through this! Read a lot on the pasts posts and you will see that you are not alone! So glad you found us!

 

((hug))

 

I almost want to simultaneously laugh and cry the the knee-jerk thought in my mind at you coming from a Pentecostal background was “Of course it would be reasonable for you to abandon one of the CRAZY denominations.” 

 

Thanks for the hug. 

[ag_NO_stic]

Another hug from me!

 

I remember this well. It's only been a couple years for me, I still have days. You are so understood and welcomed here, just take comfort and refuge in the fact that it really, truly DOES get so much better. Rely on that when it sucks. Will read your extimony now.

[MOHO]

Welcome to Ex-C, @Dexter.

 

Glad you found us and congrats on reasoning your way out of the cult. 

 

Most of us know what a tall order that is when surrounded by scream'n fundies.