Still praying to god and crying every day

[sdelsolray]

4 hours ago, Myrkhoos said:

The question, my personal shock is actually, how could he do this to me? 

 

God, leaving me in brainwashing agony.Of letting thousands and millions die, in His name, and this being a glorious end, the more torment, the more glory.

 

How can he do this to mankind? What kind of a degenerate father is he? And really, his Son asking to be spared of suffering., and he willed him to be tortured and killed on the Cross? What a twisted perveted fuckface would do that? In Christ he shows perfect love? That is sick twisted manipulation, unfit even for animals. 

 

But of course, there is another spin, another interpretation I am just not aware off. Until I do,

 

I repeat

 

How can You do these things, having the power and knowledge to stop them? You command us to visit and take care of the suffering, but you will not move even a finger? 

 

I do not want communion with this God. A narcissistic psychopath and sadist, a projection of himanities most destructive and traumatic experiences.

 

It is like I am talking to rapist, dumbfounded about the raw sadism he must have had.  He most certainly seems to be the God of Ted Bundy, another man who showed his own kind of twisted perverse affection on others.

 

I am so angry!

 

If the God you speak of does not exist in reality, or more precisely only exists in the minds of believers, the God did and does nothing.  It is the human creators of the particular God (and related religious dogma and mythology), along with believers, maintainers, indoctrinators, etc. that are responsible for your angst.  I'll leave it to you to decide how much responsibility you should share/allocate to yourself.

[florduh]

So have you decided to stop praying and stop crying yet? It's all up to you now that you have the facts.

[Symonyde]

I think that religion (for all it's evils) has a comfort factor, and that includes Christianity.  

There is a moment of crisis where exChristians feel like if they believe "harder" they can get some happiness out of this religion experiment. 

The religion is always pointing the finger at the believer and saying "the fault is yours. God is good and you are not."

So even when you intellectually say, "There can't be a god.  I can't believe in him. I'm an atheist now." it isn't so easy at first. 

In my case, I tried many years of being spiritual and struggled with depression before I realized a lot of this fear comes from the religion itself.  

Even the "softer" spiritualism I tried was a response to that original fear of death and hellfire.  

Some people get through this faster than others, but I can tell you there is a light at the other end of the tunnel. 

There is a point where you emotionally process what you intellectually know and it gets much easier.  You stop looking for god and start concentrating on facts and there here and now.  

I hope this helps.