Still praying to god and crying every day

[Questioningone]

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

[LogicalFallacy]

40 minutes ago, Questioningone said:

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

 

I would say that you are putting a lot of emotion and energy into a fruitless exercise with praying... speaking as one who's been there and done that.

 

Without more context I'm not sure how much help I can be other than to suggest you focus on cultivating a positive mindset that doesn't require false fairy tales to try and make you feel better.

 

Your pain - do you refer to physical pain, emotional pain or a metaphorical pain? If physical or emotion I'd suggest a doctor or a therapist.

 

A big part of this is probably a cognitive dissonance problem where part of you knows religion is bullshit, but the indoctrination encourages to keep holding onto the dream. Maybe try some self reflection and find out what you are holding onto? Fear of hell, hope of an afterlife, afraid of death, wanting to see a loved one etc? I think these are the first important steps to full recovery from religious trauma.

[midniterider]

2 hours ago, Questioningone said:

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

 

If God isn't helping then talk to a human being. Humans are often quite helpful when God just doesnt seem to care.

[Questioningone]

Yeah it’s just I have no support system they all just let me down..

[florduh]

Habit and brainwashing. Sometimes hard to escape. Make no mistake, you have been brainwashed. There are professional deprogrammers who could help if you can't find your own way out.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Many of us also prayed, fasted, claimed promises, quoted scriptures, "bound" the devil, etc, and nothing ever happened. The one reason for this is that there is no god there to hear us, no spirit creature cares if we go without food, none of the promises in scripture or any of the many stories of miracles are true they are all just stories, there is no devil or god just religions galore and nothing to make the magic real.

 

It is a sad thing that so many humans are intent on convincing others that all the stories are real and trustworthy, that billions are spent annually on making churches and sending people all over the world to preach fairy tales. If instead all that energy was put into helping our neighbors, feeding the hungry, visiting the lonely, and so on, how much better humanity would be. None of the crystals, spells, tarot readings, and other things that are supposed to be magic have worked either, but people continue to insist that it's all got validity.

 

I'm sorry that you are in pain. I'm sorry that the church promised you help and then gave you bullshit that didn't work. I'm sorry that all we can give you here are words. I hope the words can help you find a bit of strength in yourself. You are the one that has lasted through all of this, and all of the fake promises of help. You are the one that has lasted, demonstrating more strength that you may realize you have. Still, it sucks to have to be strong all the time. I don't even know how many real friends I have after years of associating with people. There are probably two or three out of several I know. The rest are good acquaintances, but I wouldn't be able to share anything deep with them.

[RealityCheck]

21 hours ago, Questioningone said:

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

 
Questioningone, I understand what it's like pouring out your heart to some god that doesn't listen, doesn't care, and replies with nothing but a void of silence.  I hope you are able to stop spending your emotions on this entity and channel it to real people, individuals who can in time genuinely care about you.  Reach out to us if you have to, send us a PM, spend time in the chat room but please, don't torment yourself with a god that isn't there and if he is, he doesn't give a damn.

[LogicalFallacy]

14 minutes ago, RealityCheck said:

 
Questioningone, I understand what it's like pouring out your heart to some god that doesn't listen, doesn't care, and replies with nothing but a void of silence.  I hope you are able to stop spending your emotions on this entity and channel it to real people, individuals who can in time genuinely care about you.  Reach out to us if you have to, send us a PM, spend time in the chat room but please, don't torment yourself with a god that isn't there and if he is, he doesn't give a damn.

 

@Questioningone

This is a good point. You can PM on the forum here or we have a real time chat room on discord provided you are on when others are. Usually there are only two periods every 24 hours when no one is on.

 

Please find details for our discord chat server here:

 

Hop on and start chatting. Ask questions etc. I think this would be far better for you than praying to a god that doesn't answer. We will answer... even if it's several hours later  

[older]

6 hours ago, Questioningone said:

Yeah it’s just I have no support system they all just let me down..

Here we are. And we won't let you down.

[Jerry]

I too struggled with this. I call it a vicious circle. You're trying to break free from Christianity by turning to your Christian beliefs (brainwashing) for answers. It literally took me years to overcome it. I finally figured out how irrational it is. I couldn't find any rationale, answers or comfort in prayer. You're commisioned to think that you're incapable of overcoming things without god. However, you can do a whole lot more than you could ever imagine. You need to look inside yourself and come to the realization that god has never truly helped you in any way, quite simply because, he isn't there. It's been you the entire time. With that realization you begin to break free of Christianity's brainwashing.

[ToHellWithMe]

We don't truly choose our beliefs. Just recognize yours and accept them as a fact. Fighting off doubts as a Christian is just as unfruitful.

[ag_NO_stic]

On 3/3/2019 at 10:03 PM, Questioningone said:

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

 

*HUGS*

 

It gets better. You're in the really emotionally difficult and painful situation of coming to terms with the fact that the god you've been taught about isn't matching up with your personal experience. I promise, just take a breath and take each day at a time. Keep praying if it helps, but note that he does not answer and you are desperate enough to "hear from him" that you might find an answer to prayer where there wasn't one. You'll be okay and we're here for you.  

[Orbit]

On 3/3/2019 at 8:03 PM, Questioningone said:

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

 

Yeah, sadly this is what we go through, and it's really painful to realize that there's no one there to hear those prayers. Hang in there, it gets better with time.

[TrailBlazer]

What can you do?

Cry it out.

Start having some closure-type prayers; as if god is preparing to leave on a permanent missions trip to a remote island and you will never be in contact with him again. 

Cry some more. 

Talk it out on this forum. 

Find out what makes your spirit happy and do more of that. 

[Simone]

Quote

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

 

I am very sorry for you. I started deconverting some years ago and returned to church in 2019. In the beginning I was glad but same problems occur again.

Why God does not answer ? 

 

It is difficult for me to completely leave because I know some missionaries who preach gospel and people received healing. They give their

testimony. 

 

So why some people are healed and some not ??

 

After a short happiness being back in faith I feel again the brainwashing and the fear of leaving again faith.

 

I really do not understand God. His behaviour, pretending being the good Shepherd and he never answers. Just leave you alone.

How can we trust him ? Is it not manipulative behaviour ?

 

How can we explain that some people have granted payers and some not ?

 

Very difficult for me too....what to do ? going out again ?

 

You sadness  makes me angry against God. It is not acceptable. He wants you faithful but there is no reciprocity.

[MOHO]

@Simone,

 

Welcome to Ex-C.

 

You are not alone in your difficulties - especially in your experiences with prayer. Most of those on this site who have deconverted have done so, at least in part, due to prayers (theirs and those of others) going unanswered. There are a number of Bible entries indicating that, even those in Biblical Times were having issues this concept.

https://www.biblehub.com/matthew/12-39.htm

 

And it's not wonder because religion is a lie and a tool used to manipulate the masses for the express benefit of the manipulator(s).

There have been a number of scientific studies indicating prayer does not work. Yes, the religious will say that god ignored those in the study because they were testing him. Why do you thing the passages in the Bible relating to testing god are there? Because the authors of those books needed to gloss over the fact the prayer does not work because there either is no being listening or none that give a shit!

Those missionaries that talk of healing prayer are lying. Notice how their stories all took place in a far-off land and/or have no specifics. You can't prove or disprove their stories. 

 

That's enough for you to chew on for now. Welcome again and please spend time reading and posting here. It helps. It helped me.

    - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)

 

[JohnnyWishbone]

On 3/4/2019 at 2:03 PM, Questioningone said:

I’m still praying nightly and daily despite no answers. I ask for help and to stop things from continuously happening.. to stop the pain.. I ask for god to respond..I ask him to comfort me. Of course none of this happens .... 

I feel desperate and still somehow still believe inside. I just can’t stop this. 

What can I do..?

It's belief itself that's the problem. You can't believe your way to absolute certainty here, and in the end whatever you believe in just creates more uncertainty. Why? Because you can never deduce anything factual about a situation by belief alone. Beliefs can't tell you if Jesus is true, you know? Beliefs are the minds way of projecting bullshit scenarios about any given thing.

[older]

10 hours ago, hyperferion said:

It's belief itself that's the problem.

It's also fear, mostly fear of the unknown, the uncertain, the unpredictable. And the fear that if you leave religion, bad things will happen to you. How to get rid of fear isn't something that would fit into a post on this forum, but once you get a handle on it, you'll be surprised at what a difference that makes. This is where professional (secular) counseling helps.

[Samuel]

Gosh I hate that space in the deconversion process. It was a long long long space for me. 

 

I remember through out my youth being taught to ask forgiveness for things all day long through out the day as soon as you perceived that you had done something wrong. We believed that asking Jesus for his “precious blood” for... not just things we thought or did that might be “bad”, but also just things that weren’t according to “god’s” will. So maybe you bought the wrong groceries and that wasn’t according to God’s will... which you determined cause you had a stomach ache or maybe you just had depression in the evening or any number of the virtually infinite things that could make you believe you were not following Gods will... well then you’d say Jesus forgive me for x,y, and z and not following your will and demanding that Jesus’s blood be involved... 

 

It’s almost impossible to put these nonsense practice in context of the many many even more nonsense beliefs and how these practices and beliefs just ruined people’s lives. And yet they taught these beliefs with pride literally calling them god’s up to date teachings on earth. These beliefs are as close to madness as I hope to ever come in my life. I just can’t get over the kind of harm it is to be taught to figure out gods will by meditating on your feelings, and wait for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. My father also believed that it wasn’t right to do anything the Holy Spirit didn’t tell him to do and there was really no moderating the moods of a bipolar temper prone and deeply insecure man. 

 

I know that my family still is doing these and many other practices. 

[BlindFaith]

Prayer was like a pacifier for me when I was hurt, upset, angry. Even after I knew that no one was listening I still continued to pray. So I did a couple of biofeedback sessions and learned how to get in to a relaxed state without talking to an invisible friend. It helped me tremendously, although now that I'm not constantly worried about how I am disappointing a god I am a lot more relaxed and seldom need it.

[Samuel]

4 hours ago, BlindFaith said:

Prayer was like a pacifier for me when I was hurt, upset, angry. Even after I knew that no one was listening I still continued to pray. So I did a couple of biofeedback sessions and learned how to get in to a relaxed state without talking to an invisible friend. It helped me tremendously, although now that I'm not constantly worried about how I am disappointing a god I am a lot more relaxed and seldom need it.

 

I’ll have to check out the biofeedback session. That’s fascinating.

[Insightful]

6 years post-faith, I still sometimes get the urge to pray... What I do is just say my thoughts out loud, knowing that I'm talking only to myself.

 

Depending on my mood and what's going on, sometimes I'll go through some "I'm thankful that______" statements.  I might have some "I'm angry that_______" statements, or some "I wish/hope that________" statements.

 

It gives me the chance to emote, express, vent and hope... All while understanding that it's just me talking to... me. 

[Jagdish]

From Christianity to atheist with no in between. Maybe, just maybe there is another spiritual path more conducive to your soul. Just sayn

[Samuel]

On 6/17/2019 at 3:06 PM, Jagdish said:

From Christianity to atheist with no in between. Maybe, just maybe there is another spiritual path more conducive to your soul. Just sayn

 

Yeah, I could never find one, but one wishes. 

[Myrkhoos]

The question, my personal shock is actually, how could he do this to me? 

 

God, leaving me in brainwashing agony.Of letting thousands and millions die, in His name, and this being a glorious end, the more torment, the more glory.

 

How can he do this to mankind? What kind of a degenerate father is he? And really, his Son asking to be spared of suffering., and he willed him to be tortured and killed on the Cross? What a twisted perveted fuckface would do that? In Christ he shows perfect love? That is sick twisted manipulation, unfit even for animals. 

 

But of course, there is another spin, another interpretation I am just not aware off. Until I do,

 

I repeat

 

How can You do these things, having the power and knowledge to stop them? You command us to visit and take care of the suffering, but you will not move even a finger? 

 

I do not want communion with this God. A narcissistic psychopath and sadist, a projection of himanities most destructive and traumatic experiences.

 

It is like I am talking to rapist, dumbfounded about the raw sadism he must have had.  He most certainly seems to be the God of Ted Bundy, another man who showed his own kind of twisted perverse affection on others.

 

I am so angry!