Mental illness being treated with prayer

[Caoin]

Hi everybody. I've been reading posts here for about a week and it's been so comforting to find like-minded people. Almost everyone in my life is Christian. My family is very very very religious. 

 

I started having questions about a year ago. I didn't understand who got to make the rules and why they were chosen. Why was it more important to be straight than it was to be kind? Why was is more important to be married for sex to happen, instead of a loving, respectful relationship. And so many other why's. 

 

Anyway today is my first post because my father told me that only God can helo me with my mental illness and no other treatment will work. He states so boldly about something he knows vokol about. (vokol is South African for jackshit). I am so angry. I am so tired. I can't believe how they refuse to see that my medication and therapy are what is working and not skipping meals and praying to a God who really isn't about answering sometimes. I am exhausted and somehow I still can't give up the hope that one day my mental illness will be seen as legitimate enough to be treated, the same way his hypertension is.

 

Thank you so much to the creator of this site. This is so helpful. Christianity left me disillusioned, but I finally have power again. I am the God of my life.

[older]

1 hour ago, Caoin said:

I finally have power again

 

Ta da!

 

And welcome.

 

If you are living on your own, set boundaries and enforce them with a smile. You can say that there are certain things that you don't care to talk about. You might have to leave the room or hang up the phone after giving a fair warning. It can be hard to do without getting angry, but if you can keep a smile going you will thwart any effort on their part to draw you into a debate or argument.

 

If you are still under your family's control, you may have to wait until you are on your own to draw those boundaries, but you might be able to draw some now. 

 

A useful technique is called "fogging." In essence, you avoid being drawn into an argument or debate by agreeing with at least some part of the antagonist's statement. This pokes a hole in his or her balloon. You refuse to get angry or upset, or to feel guilty; you deflect the criticism off to the side, leaving the critic at a loss. If you do an internet search for "communication fogging" you'll find lots of info on this. I've used this and it works.

[Caoin]

5 hours ago, older said:

 

Ta da!

 

And welcome.

 

If you are living on your own, set boundaries and enforce them with a smile. You can say that there are certain things that you don't care to talk about. You might have to leave the room or hang up the phone after giving a fair warning. It can be hard to do without getting angry, but if you can keep a smile going you will thwart any effort on their part to draw you into a debate or argument.

 

If you are still under your family's control, you may have to wait until you are on your own to draw those boundaries, but you might be able to draw some now. 

 

A useful technique is called "fogging." In essence, you avoid being drawn into an argument or debate by agreeing with at least some part of the antagonist's statement. This pokes a hole in his or her balloon. You refuse to get angry or upset, or to feel guilty; you deflect the criticism off to the side, leaving the critic at a loss. If you do an internet search for "communication fogging" you'll find lots of info on this. I've used this and it works.

Thank you. I will definitely try the fogging. I am in university but I go home for holidays. I'll actually be going home soon. They don't respect boundaries. They think being the parents gives them the right to do and say whatever they want. Disagreeing is being disrespectful. 

[RealityCheck]

There is nothing worse for mental illness than adding religion to the mix.  I have some breathtakingly infuriating stories from my church telling it's members to get off their meds and avoid proper treatment which I've posted in other pasts of the forums.  It's seems you can't communicate about this issue with your parents without their toxic Christian indoctrination.  Do you have anyone else you can talk or other means of seeking help while you're back with them?

 

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Any chance you can quit going home for the holidays? Maybe a friend's family as a substitute, or go visit a new place? Family is overrated as important. In the end, they are just people. My own religious family never initiates contact with me unless there's been a death or something big. When a family has a bunch of insane beliefs that rule their lives, there is no point in being around them, especially if they are causing you such turmoil and disrespecting your boundaries. That means they still see you as a child.

 

I remember that I was taught in church men's meetings to disrespect boundaries of common privacy because we were "our brother's keeper", and had to make sure that people were being holy, for their sake and so god wouldn't punish the church for disobedience (LOTS of bible examples of that kind of insane behavior). There is no good that can come from such crazy-making people. 

[sdelsolray]

Good thoughts and suggestions so far.  

 

Study "codependency" and "enabling" as one or both of those may be present in your relationships with certain family members.  Being able to spot these when they occur, in real time, allows you to adjust your behavior in small ways that can mitigate their effects.

[SerenelyBlue]

Hi and welcome.  What mental illness do you have?  I have bipolar disorder and have been prayed for and have even offered myself for an exorcism which didn't help.  The only thing that helped me was correct medication and a secular psychiatrist.  Religion just makes me have more manic episodes.  It makes things worse, not better.

Because of correct medication and a stress free environment I lead a pretty normal life now.

 

[sdelsolray]

Good to hear, Henry.

[older]

19 hours ago, Caoin said:

Thank you. I will definitely try the fogging. I am in university but I go home for holidays. I'll actually be going home soon. They don't respect boundaries. They think being the parents gives them the right to do and say whatever they want. Disagreeing is being disrespectful. 

Foging will take care of the "Disagreeing is being disrespectful" issue. You don't disagree; in fact, you agree. Thus they are left with nothing to flail you with.

[◊ DestinyTurtle ◊]

Glad you're here, @Caoin! I'm really sorry to hear what your family is putting you through and I hope you can get back to the treatments that you know work for you! Cudos on the courage it took to stand up to your own truth! 

 

[Caoin]

On 6/6/2019 at 2:52 PM, RealityCheck said:

There is nothing worse for mental illness than adding religion to the mix.  I have some breathtakingly infuriating stories from my church telling it's members to get off their meds and avoid proper treatment which I've posted in other pasts of the forums.  It's seems you can't communicate about this issue with your parents without their toxic Christian indoctrination.  Do you have anyone else you can talk or other means of seeking help while you're back with them?

 

I have a good support system in my friends. Not all of them are religious. And even the ones that are, understand the importance of therapy and medication. So I talk to them and my partner while I'm at home. I also have means of expressing my emotions in a healthy manner.

[Caoin]

On 6/6/2019 at 7:23 PM, SerenelyBlue said:

Hi and welcome.  What mental illness do you have?  I have bipolar disorder and have been prayed for and have even offered myself for an exorcism which didn't help.  The only thing that helped me was correct medication and a secular psychiatrist.  Religion just makes me have more manic episodes.  It makes things worse, not better.

Because of correct medication and a stress free environment I lead a pretty normal life now.

 

 

I have Bordeline Personality Disorder, mixed with some depression and anxiety. Meds and therapy have made a HUGE difference and I can cope with life. Religion also had the effect of making me worse. Church is a place I associate with anxiety and the need to perform. God...at this point I still believe God exists but I don't think It cares.

[Caoin]

On 6/6/2019 at 3:03 PM, Fuego said:

Any chance you can quit going home for the holidays? Maybe a friend's family as a substitute, or go visit a new place? Family is overrated as important. In the end, they are just people. My own religious family never initiates contact with me unless there's been a death or something big. When a family has a bunch of insane beliefs that rule their lives, there is no point in being around them, especially if they are causing you such turmoil and disrespecting your boundaries. That means they still see you as a child.

 

I remember that I was taught in church men's meetings to disrespect boundaries of common privacy because we were "our brother's keeper", and had to make sure that people were being holy, for their sake and so god wouldn't punish the church for disobedience (LOTS of bible examples of that kind of insane behavior). There is no good that can come from such crazy-making people. 

I am doing my best to avoid it. I live off campus in a flat, so that's a bonus. I've managed to cut it down to about 6 days. I really miss my little brother and I'm honestly going to give him anime. 

 

It's insane how close-minded the religious mindset is

[Jagdish]

Hi Caoin, Welcome. This forum is where I come when I need a sanity check. I suffer from depression and have taken meds for it fir years. It helps and feel much better about myself and the world around me. I Of course there were those who insinuated that I was depressed because of my sins. No I used to tell them it is a brain chemical but alas those people are not in my life anymore. Although I do meet the occasional SOB who tries to get me to return to church. (Like that's going to happen).

 

Hang in there. Time will put distance between the matter

 

 

[RealityCheck]

On 6/9/2019 at 7:52 AM, Caoin said:

I have a good support system in my friends. Not all of them are religious. And even the ones that are, understand the importance of therapy and medication. So I talk to them and my partner while I'm at home. I also have means of expressing my emotions in a healthy manner.

That good to hear.

[MOHO]

On 6/9/2019 at 4:59 AM, Caoin said:

It's insane how close-minded the religious mindset is

The religious mindset.

The political party mindset.

The, seemingly, human mindset of us-against-them. 

 

It's a constant effort to avoid falling into those traps and I suspect most of us do, a little bit, each and every day. 

 

But yes, the religious indoctrination is very much one of control and manipulation which relies heavily on group-think. Black and White. You are either all-in or all-out.

 

[Hole_In_My_Heart]

Is your father one of those fathers who thinks he knows absolutely everything in the world? Mine is exactly that way. Telling someone who is ill, and illness is illness wherever it is in the body, to not take their medicine is, well, it's sick! This is one of many things that some so-called Christians do that are wrong and very upsetting. And no disrespect to your family, but it's just stupid, because medical treatment is described right in the Bible.  Next time your father tries to convince you not to take the medicine that you need, hand him these Bible verses: 

 

1 Timothy 5:23

23 Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.

 

Luke 10:34

He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

 

Ezekiel 47:12

12 Along the bank of the river, on this side and that, will grow all kinds of trees used for food; their leaves will not wither, and their fruit will not fail. They will bear fruit every month, because their water flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for medicine.”

 

Isaiah 38:21

21 Now Isaiah had said, “Let them take a lump of figs, and apply it as a poultice on the boil, and he shall recover.”

 

Matthew 9:12

12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

 

What can your father say in reply, that Jesus is wrong, or the Bible was wrong? I have used these verses before to defend receiving medical care, although I shouldn't have to should I, and they totally shut people up. You keep right on taking whatever medicine makes you feel better, don't let anyone tell you different! Anyone who tries to make a sick person not take their medicine and just suffer should be ashamed!

[midniterider]

On 6/5/2019 at 6:17 PM, Caoin said:

Hi everybody. I've been reading posts here for about a week and it's been so comforting to find like-minded people. Almost everyone in my life is Christian. My family is very very very religious. 

 

I started having questions about a year ago. I didn't understand who got to make the rules and why they were chosen. Why was it more important to be straight than it was to be kind? Why was is more important to be married for sex to happen, instead of a loving, respectful relationship. And so many other why's. 

 

Anyway today is my first post because my father told me that only God can helo me with my mental illness and no other treatment will work. He states so boldly about something he knows vokol about. (vokol is South African for jackshit). I am so angry. I am so tired. I can't believe how they refuse to see that my medication and therapy are what is working and not skipping meals and praying to a God who really isn't about answering sometimes. I am exhausted and somehow I still can't give up the hope that one day my mental illness will be seen as legitimate enough to be treated, the same way his hypertension is.

 

Thank you so much to the creator of this site. This is so helpful. Christianity left me disillusioned, but I finally have power again. I am the God of my life.

 

So your dad takes secular blood pressure pills...but you aren't allowed secular mental health help. If you're an adult you could try getting some help on your own. Maybe via the college? It looks like health care is partially government funded in SA. I'm not much help. Anyway, wish you the best. 

[Jane]

On 6/9/2019 at 7:56 AM, Caoin said:

. Church is a place I associate with anxiety and the need to perform. God...at this point I still believe God exists but I don't think It cares.

 

I can relate to this totally.  It was one of the many things ( just joined this group today) that made me stop going to church. I got panic attacks in church. Not only in church, but it was one of the places I got them often. Sitting in the back didn't help, and even changing church didn't help either. And no amount of praying to God made them go away, despite everyone telling me it WILL make them go away.   I now no longer go to church ( moved and quit a job I hated) and am panic attack free.  Changing my life made them gone, NOT prayer! The opposite actually. 

If there is any sort of god , he can't possibly be the Christian one.  

 

Hope you get your mental issues under control.