Apostate Catholic says Hi!

[knighterrant]

Hey!

 

I’m thinking about leaving the Roman Catholic Church and maybe Christianity entirely. I found this site after looking for a place with people that were in a similar boat, who might be able to help me figure out some things. 

 

I grew up confused when it came to religion. My parents were nominal Protestant Christians but my father, although having only a negligible fraction of Native American blood and no Jewish ancestry, incorporated Native American faith and Zionist elements to what I was taught. I grew up confused and so in response to this, I became Christian only in name and was more of an agnostic in secret.

 

Then I was a closet catholic for several years. I think it might have been the need for community or the need for faith after a series of traumatic events that led me to the RCC.  Eventually I won my family over to the idea of me joining (they were staunchly anti-Catholic) and I joined a few years ago.  Everything was going well (I was even seriously considering becoming a priest) when a few events (I don’t know how else to say it.) "shook" me to the point where I knew I couldn’t stay in the Church anymore.

 

I have a couple of reasons for wanting to do this, but I think I found another section on here specifically for talking about that, so I won’t ramble too much just yet. Suffice it to say that the “final straws” were pretty recent and I guess I’m still in the mourning/grieving phase of things.

 

Anyway, I’m grateful that this site exists, and I hope to grow and heal with all of you.

 

Thanks,

 

-knighterrant

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Hi, Welcome to Ex-C!

 

My best buddy went from cultic Protestant Pentecostal (Maranatha on a college campus) to Catholic because it was calm and the rituals gave him some sense of comfort and stability. He never could bring himself to part with the idea of a god in charge. I think that would make him feel like the world was too chaotic. We don't talk about it much these days, just grab a beer and chat about life. 

 

I left the faith after a year of solid questioning. The questioning started when I was "shook" by finding a trusted preacher was lying repeatedly about miracles and healings. His whole thrust was that god was blessing them because of their ultra-committed stance that didn't coddle sin (as opposed to the fat comfortable Western church). It was a message that sold well, and I promoted him worldwide for 9 years. Then I finally caught him making up a long involved tale about a coven of witches in Germany (the charismatic churches absolutely love hearing about witches). My worldview began unraveling, and hundreds of questions I'd built up over the years began falling down off the shelf where I'd put them. After a year, I found this website and read what others had come through, and I completed my de-conversion from Christianity. That was 12 years ago and I have a far more stable and happy life that isn't governed by invisible creatures at war, where I no longer treat my natural desires as evil, and I don't spend thousands of dollars yearly promoting my imaginary friend. 

 

We come from all walks of life, and all flavors of Christianity. Again, welcome.

 

 

[nontheistpilgrim]

Welcome knighterrant

I'm quite new here - and find it a helpful place. After 60 years a Christian, many of them as a minister of the church, I could no longer make sense of the concept of god. For reasons explained elsewhere I do sometimes attend church with my partner although less frequently now. And I, too, look for 'community'.

Your comment about growing and healing is so true.

Do you read? There are some excellent books available, mentioned in other places on this site, which you might find helpful as you explore non-theism (as I like to call it).

I'm not sure what stage I am at now - feelings change. I get angry, frustrated with church. Overwhelmingly I have a sense of freedom and joy having given up all belief in gods for me.

Sometimes I enjoy getting angry - like this morning's hymn which included these words: 'How blest are they and only they who in his truth abide'. What rubbish, patently untrue.

Stick with it, find your place, find yourself. Enjoy being here.

[DanForsman]

Welcome. I read about your troubles within your church life. What you can gain here is insight into the fact that Christianity is just man made rather than factual so you can be free to decide how to live in whatever way seems best to you. If you decide to go to church anyhow for the social aspects at least you will have the knowledge that all the claims of unseen forces and miraculous happenings are just woo and even the historical stuff is very often inaccurate or just made up. Hopefully you will come to the realization that it serves no purpose to suffer at all over church affairs or church doctrine that is not based in reality. Enjoy your time here and feel free to comment and ask questions. 

[Derek]

Hi and welcome to Ex-C, knighterrant! A good place to find out how others in similar positions have fared is the "testimonies" section. Some inspiring stories there :)

[Joshpantera]

On 8/11/2019 at 10:50 AM, knighterrant said:

Anyway, I’m grateful that this site exists, and I hope to grow and heal with all of you.

 

Thanks,

 

-knighterrant

 

Welcome aboard!!! 

[UniversalFriendliness]

On 8/11/2019 at 10:50 AM, knighterrant said:

Everything was going well (I was even seriously considering becoming a priest) when a few events (I don’t know how else to say it.) "shook" me to the point where I knew I couldn’t stay in the Church anymore.

 

Hi! I signed on here less than 24 hours ago. So maybe we are welcoming each other. Just wanted to chime in and say, lucky you found out what you did before going down the path of seminary! Imagine having to back out. I too explored the priesthood, and living the monastic life. I think it helps to discover the mechanical side of the religious life. I am not opposed to the idea that there can be a spiritual leader, or a place to live a more spiritual life less concerned with the material, but these must be demonstratively beneficial to people, rather than just functions that become their own justification.

[Moonobserver]

My circumstance was somewhat similar. I was raised in a Christian-by-default (though un-churched family). My mother joined the RCC and a few years later I followed suit. I was drawn by the regal formality of it and assumed that Christianity must be right----especially since eternal damnation was said to be the result of assuming otherwise.

 

The inconsistencies in Christian theology began to brew in my subconscious and when they came to the surface I went through a terrible period of psychological and emotional torment. I'm convinced that finally accepting the reality of those inconsistencies literally saved my sanity.

[LogicalFallacy]

Hi @knighterrant

 

Belated welcome to Ex-C.

 

If you have any questions please ask - no matter your question there is usually someone here who has the knowledge or experience to answer it.

 

Many of us have moments that 'shake' our core foundations. A rather frightening and challenging time, but with time and community you can overcome what religion throws at you.

 

All the best

 

LF

[◊ Weezer ◊]

I guess the knight is giving his situation some more thought. I hope he is doing okay.

[knighterrant]

Hello all!

 

Sorry for taking so long to respond to your kind and thoughtful posts but I suppose now is a good time to catch up with people.  I'm doing okay but it is a difficult process.  

 

I'm the most ex-Christian-y I have ever been in my life.  I went through the rigmarole of "formally defecting" from the Roman Catholic Church. Canon law says you aren't "allowed" to do that anymore but I sent the local bishop a letter anyway for my own reasons. I figure it stands even if they don't recognize it.    

 

I had been attending a pretty liberal Episcopalian church with a friend. I figured that would be a good step down/place to figure stuff out.  I was wrong.  I don't mean to offend anyone on these forums that happens to be an Episcopalian but the clergy particular to this parish were less "on the level" than the Roman Catholic ones I left the RCC over. 

 

I've been trying to read/reread some things. Some stuff that is new to me in the form of articles online and reread some religious stuff that I used to take comfort/guidance from. 

 

Other than that, I think it may just take time for me. Hopefully the tedium and self reflection will wear off soon and I can be more active in these forums. 

 

Thanks again!

 

Also,

 

On 9/2/2019 at 11:33 PM, UniversalFriendliness said:

but these must be demonstratively beneficial to people, rather than just functions that become their own justification.

This makes a lot of sense UniversalFriendliness. Good point.

 

On 9/29/2019 at 11:09 AM, Moonobserver said:

I'm convinced that finally accepting the reality of those inconsistencies literally saved my sanity.

I might pick your brain sometime on how you went about accepting that.

 

 

[Moonobserver]

11 hours ago, knighterrant said:

I might pick your brain sometime on how you went about accepting that.

 

 

My pleasure. Just keep in mind that I'm still fumbling my way through the Cosmic Conundrum myself----I don't claim to have any definite answers; all I can do is relate my own experience & let you judge it as you deem fitting.

[MOHO]

15 hours ago, knighterrant said:

I had been attending a pretty liberal Episcopalian church with a friend. I figured that would be a good step down/place to figure stuff out.  I was wrong.

Hey @knighterrant,

 

I kinda did the same thing going form Mormonism to the "nondenominational" Jesus Freak gig. I have to admit, though I do not attend services, that I like those folks more than the Mormon crowd. If you can believe it they are far less self-righteous.

 

The point I wish to make is that some, like me, do in fact join less impacted religions as part of their way out of the mind-control. In my case without even knowing it. Whether this happens to you or not I hope you are happy with were you land and offer an ear if you come here seeking feedback from those of us who have "been there".

[◊ Weezer ◊]

I also went the route of trying more liberal churches.   Even the Unitarian Universalist church, but simply was not comfortable there.  My redneck background just didn't fit.  And with more study came to believe all religions are "man-made", and all gods are myths. Hang in there!