Taking the good with the bad

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Hey Everyone,

 

I like to post an update in this forum at least once per year. I know it sucks for people to come in and ya never hear how things went after deconversion. I'm coming up on 3 years now. Last time I gave an update I mentioned how my wife and I were still having issues over my deconversion. We had a good talk early in the year in 2019 and things got better after that as faith was concerned. I still visit her church from time to time but that has gotten fewer and farther between. We were also able to buy a house last year which was awesome!! Really enjoying having my own home again. I lost my last house during the housing market crises a decade ago. 

 

But as the title of this post suggests, This year was not all good things. We had a lot of downs this year and maybe those downs were even part of what helped my wife and I get past the religious differences in some way. It probably would have been a good thing for me to have deconverted sooner to start getting healthy. For the past couple years I thought I had an ulcer in my stomach that kept coming back. The problem got worse and worse until one day I had a great uncle that passed away and was attending a funeral and I kept having chest pains. They had started extending down my left arm and that was something new. I went to the funeral and then stopped at my moms afterward. I thought........ we'll maybe I just need something on my stomach. I was fixing myself something to eat and the pain kept getting worse. Finally I just started crying because I knew something was wrong. I asked my mom to take me to the hospital. They ran the usually chest pain gambit of tests that I saw them run on my wife the year before when she had an ovarian cyst rupture which caused shooting pains into her chest. Well all the tests they ran on me came back good. They had me set up and appointment with the family physician, who set up a stress test which came back irregular. I forgot the name of the first procedure. But I went to the hospital for them to go in and see if I needed a stent but what they found was a calcified blockage they weren't prepared for. I ended up staying in the hospital two days and having a rotoblation procedure where they basically drilled the blockage out and placed a stent. They said that was the only blockage in my heart. It was an 80-90% blockage. So now I have a nice assortment of pills to deal with LOL and just so you know. Blood thinners suck!!! I only have 5 more months to deal with them tho. 

 

A couple months later my mother in law and father in law were in a bad ATV accident that left my father in law with a nasty concussion and killed my mother in law. To say the least the last half of the year was bad. especially around the holidays. My father in law is having a very hard time coming back from this, understandably so. He is working his way through the grieving process as is my wife. But it has been very painful to watch my father in law deal with his loss. You would just have to know the history I guess. Long story short, he looked for love a long time, Had a couple wives that stepped out on him with other men but eventually found love with a woman he had known most his life. only to be with her for 11 years or so and lose here like this. Just talking about it brings tears to my eyes. My wife's family is so close nit. There were probably 20+ people in the room when they took her off life support. We were all standing and crammed in. They even wheeled my father in law in so he could be with her as she passed. I"m sure that many people in a room is against ICU policy but they still let us all in. She had 8 brothers and sisters and 3 step brothers and sisters. Plus the nieces, nephews, cousins, and in laws that were able to get in the room. That was the second time I saw this happen with my wife's family. The first was when her grandfather passed. It's not the type of family dynamic you see much anymore. At least in my experience anyway. 

 

So 2019 was a roller coaster for our family. That's just the major things that happened. There were smaller issues that i'm not going to bring up. Mostly stuff that were an effect of one of the major events I've already mentioned. 

 

Moving on, For 2020 I'm going to work on the things I can control. I feel for my in laws, My wife, and my kids I really do but I have my own issues now I really have to deal with before...... Well before I end up dying basically. When I deconverted I knew that I had been unhealthy for a long time and started taking steps to help me get better. But it was to late. Now that I've fixed a couple things it's time to get serious. The holidays are over, right now I'm dealing with some knee pain. but as soon as i'm well enough to hit the tread mill it's time to get all this weight off. I know it's over ambitious but I would like to lose 100 pounds this year. I could stand to lose more. Just saying. I'm a fatty and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of always filling like crap. It's always something related to my weight that is making me feel bad. Even my knee pain now. Gout. I had a Bad flare up just before the end of the year. I actually rang in the new years laid up in bed not able to walk. At this point it's either get healthy or go ahead and start making funeral arrangements so my kids n wife don't have to. I've already started eating healthier. The past week gout has forced me to eat mostly vegetables which i plan on sticking with for some time. 

 

Another thing I can control.... I want to work on the new house. It makes me happy. Maybe I can finally start getting that meditation area set up that I wanted. I have a man cave to finish. and a house that is ours that I can help my wife decorate. I want to focus on a more stress free year in 2020 as well. I know I can't get rid of all stress. But I'll settle for less stress.  I have one son Graduating this year which is awesome. Hopefully I can help guide him onto the right path for his life. And my other son graduates next year. Also I hope to spend more time on Family, my hobbies, this community, and other stuff that brings a smile to my face. I wish you all well this year.

 

Sincerely,

Dark Bishop

[◊ Weezer ◊]

That's a lot of stuff to deal with.  Getting through it has been quite an accomplishment.  I hope you are able to accomplish the health goals, and do some work on the house.  Completing projects always helps me feel better about life.  HANG IN THERE!

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

14 hours ago, Weezer said:

Completing projects always helps me feel better about life.  HANG IN THERE!

Thanks Weezer

[TruthSeeker0]

Hello DB, nice to read your update, even though your life has had significant challenges lately. 

Good luck with your goals, in particular the health related ones. I can tell you from personal experience that if you up that veggie count and cut back on sugar and carbs, those alone will be huge benefits in your weight loss journey, even without exercise. I'm starting a quite strict diet myself, Paleo with some additional restrictions. The key is to ease into it, do not by any means cut out all the not so great stuff cold turkey, or it's just too difficult and you lose your motivation. The other thing that has helped me a lot is the MyFitnessPal app which helps you stick to your recommended calorie intake per day. Good luck!

[older]

You sound quite determined and motivated. You'll succeed. Here's a quote that helped me once. I keep it on my desk. I hope it helps you, too:

 

Start where you are.

Use what you have.

Do what you can.

— Arthur Ashe

[TABA]

Hey DB, sorry it was a rough year for you in  some big ways. My heart goes out to you and your family in the loss of your father-in-law.  I’m happy also though for the positive things: your new home, your marriage and seeing your sons grow up and graduate.  If I recall, wasn’t it one of your sons who triggered your deconversion process?
 

Glad you survived the health scare and best of luck with the weight loss!  Very thankful for modern science and medicine.  Deconversion prompted many of us to take better care of ourselves - funny how that works.

 

And I hope you check in with us more than once a year! 

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

17 hours ago, TABA said:

 If I recall, wasn’t it one of your sons who triggered your deconversion process?

 

Yes it is @cp30rocks he is my oldest. (He's the one graduating this year) He made a profile but I don't think he's ever posted. I was looking for archeological evidence to show him the bible was true and found quite the opposite. Kinda cascaded from there. I was already questions the obvious fairy tale stories like Noah and adam n eve. but when I found out Moses was even a fable, nothing in the bible fit anymore. 

 

My Father in law is still alive, it was my mother in law that passed. But thank you for your condolences. 

 

I've been posting some the past month. I usually only do a personal update once a year tho. I had to be persona non grata for a while b/c of the lil lady. She thought you guys were keeping me from coming back to the fold, I think. Hopefully I've seen the end of those issues

 

Lost 10 lbs the past couple weeks. Almost ready to hit the gym. Just a little more stiffness to get out of my knee. 

 

DB

[Joshpantera]

On 1/4/2020 at 12:19 AM, DarkBishop said:

I'm a fatty and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of always filling like crap. It's always something related to my weight that is making me feel bad. Even my knee pain now. Gout. I had a Bad flare up just before the end of the year. I actually rang in the new years laid up in bed not able to walk. At this point it's either get healthy or go ahead and start making funeral arrangements so my kids n wife don't have to. I've already started eating healthier. The past week gout has forced me to eat mostly vegetables which i plan on sticking with for some time. 

 

DB, my step daughters boyfriend was pushing 300 lbs and so was my youngest brother. Both went on keto diets around before thanksgiving and both are down over 30lbs. I was around 250lbs and jumped on the keto bandwagon the day after thanksgiving. I'm down to 237 lbs already. I'm only going to the 220's and then letting it plane off and maintain. But the other two want to go down 50 lbs or more. This is the only successful diet I've tried so far. My wife has a keto cook book and it's easy to stick to when you see results like this. Just putting it out there for consideration. 

 

Best of luck this year buddy!!!

[TABA]

A friend of mine has had great success losing weight with Keto.  He’s like a new man.  And he’s kept the weight off too.  
 

I’m convinced that carbs in general and sugar in particular are responsible for the epidemic of obesity and diabetes (among other things) in the rich world today.  And so many people don’t know this: I’m flabbergasted at the way people consume soda/pop and sweet tea by the gallon in most parts of the US.  We’re not fucking hummingbirds. 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

1 hour ago, TABA said:

We’re not fucking hummingbirds

I'm certainly not fucking a hummingbird.  In fact, the idea has never crossed my mind. 

[TruthSeeker0]

3 hours ago, TABA said:

A friend of mine has had great success losing weight with Keto.  He’s like a new man.  And he’s kept the weight off too.  
 

I’m convinced that carbs in general and sugar in particular are responsible for the epidemic of obesity and diabetes (among other things) in the rich world today.  And so many people don’t know this: I’m flabbergasted at the way people consume soda/pop and sweet tea by the gallon in most parts of the US.  We’re not fucking hummingbirds. 

I'm 5 days on the wahls protocol so far, it's Paleo with more restrictions. It's going to be difficult maintaining weight if anything. It's true about the sugar and carbs though, we eat way too much of them. Go without sugar for a week and your fruits will taste very different. 

[TABA]

2 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

I'm certainly not fucking a hummingbird.  In fact, the idea has never crossed my mind. 

It would be pretty hard to pull off, and surely not very satisfying. 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

4 hours ago, TABA said:

It would be pretty hard to pull off, and surely not very satisfying. 

 

Kind of the opposite of a flea crawling up an elephants rear with rape on his mind.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

DarkBishop, forgive us for turning your thread into this.  I guess this is what happens when we dont have any believers to argue with, or de-converters to encourage.  Seems like it has been a long dry spell.

[Joshpantera]

On 1/9/2020 at 3:30 PM, TABA said:

A friend of mine has had great success losing weight with Keto.  He’s like a new man.  And he’s kept the weight off too.  
 

I’m convinced that carbs in general and sugar in particular are responsible for the epidemic of obesity and diabetes (among other things) in the rich world today.  And so many people don’t know this: I’m flabbergasted at the way people consume soda/pop and sweet tea by the gallon in most parts of the US.  We’re not fucking hummingbirds. 

 

It's an eye opener. When you go on Keto you get laser focused in terms of looking at the world as an observer of just how much carbs and straight sugar everyone is consuming regularly. This becomes more and more obvious when you look around at every restaurant menu while on Keto. I see it all, but I ignore it. It's all around me all the time. Carb's, carb's, sugar, sugar.....

 

But I'm devoted and determined and seeing the lbs come off steady keeps me focused on the straight and narrow. I just keep ignoring all of the carbs and sugar constantly around me everywhere I look. This is an interesting disciple to take on. I guess like walking through bars as an alcoholic, constantly seeing the alcohol all around you but ignoring it. 

 

I finally allowed a "cheat day," at Christmas. To be honest, I felt like shit after eating carby christmas food. I was actually happy to get right back on the wagon with my salads, low carb tortilla wraps, meat and veggies, and Keto cook book items that my wife cooks. Yesterday we had Keto pizza. Loved it. The cook book is, "Simply Keto" by Suzanne Ryan. We save money because going out to eat is so limited that we hardly do it anymore. 

 

Overall,  I feel good. I'm focused. I feel healthy. And I've noticed a certain amount clarity by going on this low carb diet. I'm not starving myself. I eat till I'm full and I keep losing weight. 

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Agree with keto approach. I can't even stand the smell of donuts at work. It's like being smacked with a sugar hammer. I used to devour all that and more when I was a kid. I'd have a thick layer of sugar in the bowl of cereal I'd eat back then. Chocolate milk was breakfast all they way up to high-school where I started shivering in class due to a sugar crash. I still didn't clue in until college when the same thing happened in class and a guy there said "Dude, eat a damn salad instead of donuts". I did and felt a ton better. That was the event that changed my perspective on sugar. That has helped now that I'm middle-aged and fat appears almost overnight.

[★ Citsonga ★]

3 hours ago, Fuego said:

Agree with keto approach. I can't even stand the smell of donuts at work. It's like being smacked with a sugar hammer. I used to devour all that and more when I was a kid. I'd have a thick layer of sugar in the bowl of cereal I'd eat back then. Chocolate milk was breakfast all they way up to high-school where I started shivering in class due to a sugar crash. I still didn't clue in until college when the same thing happened in class and a guy there said "Dude, eat a damn salad instead of donuts". I did and felt a ton better. That was the event that changed my perspective on sugar. That has helped now that I'm middle-aged and fat appears almost overnight.

 

I knew that sugar is bad for your health and weight, but I'd never heard of it causing chills. Interesting. 

[♦ Fuego ♦]

It happens when the sugar runs out. It burns fast, so when it is gone, if that is all you had in the furnace, suddenly you get cold. Far better to have a moderate amount of slow burning carbs, some protein, and some good fats. 

[florduh]

Since this has become a diet and nutrition thread I shall add my experience and thoughts.

 

With my family history and the looming prospect of starting meds for the dreaded DIABEETUS I decided to modify my diet first. I didn't know I was at the vanguard of a fad but all  I knew was that sugar and other carbs were bad. Later I discovered I was doing keto. I was motivated and very strict for about four months. Not at all hard to do, and I lost 30 lbs, though that wasn't my goal. Blood glucose dropped, A1C down, BP down, cholesterol down, and inflammation causing a pinched nerve was gone. 

 

But I'm old, and many old people build their life around dining out with friends and having picnics and parties. As I introduced the "bad" foods back into my routine I kept a close watch on my numbers with home testing and doctor visits and blood tests. Numbers all stayed good, not perfect as before, but good enough. I put on 5-8 lbs and maintained. Something had changed permanently.

 

I believe that everyone already knows what foods are beneficial to them and what aren't. It's a matter of motivation. Clearly, cutting out carbs would benefit almost everybody. At this point, I just want to enjoy dining out and not catching the DIABEETUS. If I ever need to go to a low carb high fat diet again, it won't be difficult at all, but it sure will impact the enjoyment of dinners with friends.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

6 hours ago, Citsonga said:

 

I knew that sugar is bad for your health and weight, but I'd never heard of it causing chills. Interesting. 

 

In a sense it is true.  Like Fuego said, it is when your blood sugar level drops to a certain point that you can feel chilled.  I have had insulin dependent diabetes (type I) for 52 years.  One of the ways I can sense dropping sugar levels is feeling chilly.  Often times it is accompanied by feeling agitated, or getting mad easily, due to low sugar levels in your brain.  People with hypoglycemia can get the same reaction by overloading with sugar without a mix of food like Fuego mentioned.  The body injects a little too much insulin, and when the sugar burns up, you wind up with low blood sugars, chills, agitation, etc.  At least that is my understanding. 

 

I have been letting my blood sugars run too high, and not eating right, and it has caught up with me also.  Did my last splurge at Xmas, and went on a new regime of food and medication. My nemesis is ice cream!

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

On 1/9/2020 at 7:32 AM, Joshpantera said:

 

DB, my step daughters boyfriend was pushing 300 lbs and so was my youngest brother. Both went on keto diets around before thanksgiving and both are down over 30lbs. I was around 250lbs and jumped on the keto bandwagon the day after thanksgiving. I'm down to 237 lbs already. I'm only going to the 220's and then letting it plane off and maintain. But the other two want to go down 50 lbs or more. This is the only successful diet I've tried so far. My wife has a keto cook book and it's easy to stick to when you see results like this. Just putting it out there for consideration. 

 

Best of luck this year buddy!!!

I wish I could go on the Keto diet. That's right up my ally. I love meat and dairy more than bread. I've seen pictures of keto plates. My mouth waters every time. But the heart doctor already said NO on that one. LOL. it isn't good for the cholesterol at all. They want me to do the mediteranean diet. I know i spelled that wrong. sorry. But thank you for the encouragement. I'll get the lbs. off. 

 

db

[florduh]

11 hours ago, DarkBishop said:

But the heart doctor already said NO on that one. LOL. it isn't good for the cholesterol at all.

I'm sure my doctor also would have said NO to keto had I asked, but I just did it on my own and after six months I was off cholesterol meds, much to everyone's surprise. Of course I had high cholesterol but no heart issues going in, so as I said, keto should be good for MOST people. Obviously there could be specific medical conditions where keto might be contraindicated. Good luck!

[Wertbag]

One thing I've recently heard of is "Orthorexia", that is a hyper focus on healthy eating to the extent that it begins harming your well-being and quality of life.  It is believed to be a form of OCD, just taking those natural tendencies to get obsessive and directing those towards dieting.

The description I found:

WARNING SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF ORTHOREXIA

Compulsive checking of ingredient lists and nutritional labels

An increase in concern about the health of ingredients

Cutting out an increasing number of food groups (all sugar, all carbs, all dairy, all meat, all animal products)

An inability to eat anything but a narrow group of foods that are deemed ‘healthy’ or ‘pure’

Unusual interest in the health of what others are eating

Spending hours per day thinking about what food might be served at upcoming events

Showing high levels of distress when ‘safe’ or ‘healthy’ foods aren’t available

Obsessive following of food and ‘healthy lifestyle’ blogs on Twitter and Instagram

Body image concerns may or may not be present

 

Some people seem to think it is bringing maths into the issue that takes it from a subjective consideration of food to an objective panic over small variations.  We've never had the ability before to measure every last ingredient to the gram and being able to scan barcodes on your smartphone to get the numbers instantly in hand.

A lot of detail is being overlooked in broad statements like "sugar is bad". Is fruit sugar as bad as sucrose? Is lactose absorbed as much as glucose? Are sweeteners really a good replacement or do they create other issues of concern?  

I worry that it is easy to get focused on the complexity and either lose quality of life, or just scare off people who will see dieting as too hard to do.

[LogicalFallacy]

27 minutes ago, Wertbag said:

One thing I've recently heard of is "Orthorexia", that is a hyper focus on healthy eating to the extent that it begins harming your well-being and quality of life.  It is believed to be a form of OCD, just taking those natural tendencies to get obsessive and directing those towards dieting.

The description I found:

WARNING SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF ORTHOREXIA

Compulsive checking of ingredient lists and nutritional labels

An increase in concern about the health of ingredients

Cutting out an increasing number of food groups (all sugar, all carbs, all dairy, all meat, all animal products)

An inability to eat anything but a narrow group of foods that are deemed ‘healthy’ or ‘pure’

Unusual interest in the health of what others are eating

Spending hours per day thinking about what food might be served at upcoming events

Showing high levels of distress when ‘safe’ or ‘healthy’ foods aren’t available

Obsessive following of food and ‘healthy lifestyle’ blogs on Twitter and Instagram

Body image concerns may or may not be present

 

Some people seem to think it is bringing maths into the issue that takes it from a subjective consideration of food to an objective panic over small variations.  We've never had the ability before to measure every last ingredient to the gram and being able to scan barcodes on your smartphone to get the numbers instantly in hand.

A lot of detail is being overlooked in broad statements like "sugar is bad". Is fruit sugar as bad as sucrose? Is lactose absorbed as much as glucose? Are sweeteners really a good replacement or do they create other issues of concern?  

I worry that it is easy to get focused on the complexity and either lose quality of life, or just scare off people who will see dieting as too hard to do.

 

Damn... I know someone who would at least fill 50% of that list. I like to eat healthy, but I don't beat myself if I do have a donut or a pie once in a while. I know I keep healthy and fit so a few goodies isn't going to harm. If you live on pies and donuts though.... best of luck to ya.

[older]

And in our newspaper today was a story about a woman celebrating her 101st birthday at the all-you-can-eat buffet. She had fried chicken. She said she was raised on bacon.

 

By the way, don't forget that chocolate is a vegetable. Chocolate comes from beans. Beans are a vegetable. Therefore chocolate is a vegetable.