ZenPaladin Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 Dating and romance is one problem for us ex-Christians since most of us hail from majority Christian countires(i.e. the USA, etc). I'm in California, which is probably better than the Bible Belt I'm sure. I haven't actually tried to ask anyone out yet(bth due to getting shit in order plus covid) but I definitely feel anxious about wanting to get my feet wet in that department. I've had mixed feelings about apps for awhile, but with how many people are using them to ease quarantine loneliness they don't seem like a good prospect. Plus in the city I'm moving to there is apparently lots of religious single moms on those apps anyway(I'm a dude and 20 years old). That leaves Meetups and hobby groups. This may be a bit tricky since I have Asperger's but I need that social exposure anyway. What's worked for anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ Weezer ◊ Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 Ha! I haven't dated in over 53 years, so will let someone else answer this one. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 Though I'm married, I met the most women through my participation in the music community. Back when the clubs were still going, singing was a great way to put myself out there, and friends were always introducing me to others. That was my primary replacement for church social activities. I did have one ask me what my Tinder handle was, and caught myself before saying "My what?" I'm older than I look. Other than that, doing what you can to keep your body looking fine will go a long way towards attracting them. Growing up I was skinny and devoid of muscle and never got looks from the ladies. But in recent years, even clerks in stores will light up and smile as I go by. That does wonders for the ego. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 No. No dates. Bypass that and go straight for the sex. No commitment required. But do it safely of course. Save time, money, and emotional energy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 I'm lucky I'm a woman. It's easier for me to get laid if I wanted. I'm pretty sure men would love if an attractive woman asked him directly for sex. No pussy footing around. If you're homosexual it's even easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 9 hours ago, ZenPaladin said: 14 minutes ago, Freed said: No. No dates. Bypass that and go straight for the sex. No commitment required. But do it safely of course. Save time, money, and emotional energy. If you think about it that's all dating is. Getting ready for sex. The warm up before the exercise. The light match before the wild fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ Weezer ◊ Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 Not exactly what I recommend if you are looking for a long term relationship. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenPaladin Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 35 minutes ago, Weezer said: Not exactly what I recommend if you are looking for a long term relationship. What do you mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ Weezer ◊ Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 On 11/29/2020 at 7:53 PM, ZenPaladin said: What do you mean? Are you looking for a healthy long term relationship? Or just to screw someone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenPaladin Posted December 1, 2020 Author Share Posted December 1, 2020 36 minutes ago, Weezer said: Are you looking for a healthy long term relationship? Or just to screw someone? Genuine relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ Weezer ◊ Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 2 hours ago, ZenPaladin said: Genuine relationship. You may may already be aware of this, but from what I remember of your description of your childhood, I thought you might need to hear this. There is more to a genuine relationship than sex. Good sex can help facilitate the relationship, but don't confuse the feeling you get from good sex with the kind of "love", common interests, aspirations, respect, care and committment, that makes for healthy relationships. The reason I am saying this is because young people at times get sexually involved guickly, and get carried away with the feeling, thinking it is genuine "love", when it really is just great "sexual chemistry". And people who are willing to get sexually involved quickly, may not be ready for a "genuine", long term relationship. And hopefully you are aware of the downsides to quick and easy sex. If you want a list, I can give you one on on P.M. Assuming you eventually want marriage, or long term relationship, give yourself plenty of time. Dont latch onto the first woman (or man?) who gives you a thrill. Get your feet under yourself as an adult in your profession, and have a general feeling that you are headed in the direction you want to go in life. And your partner also. Those seem to be the people who have the best relationships. BEST WISHES! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted December 1, 2020 Super Moderator Share Posted December 1, 2020 For what it's worth, I've had some success finding dates at my local farmer's market, usually near the figs and plums. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted December 1, 2020 Super Moderator Share Posted December 1, 2020 55 minutes ago, TheRedneckProfessor said: For what it's worth, I've had some success finding dates at my local farmer's market, usually near the figs and plums. I would have bet a dollar and a quarter you'd go with family reunion. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted December 1, 2020 Super Moderator Share Posted December 1, 2020 7 minutes ago, florduh said: I would have bet a dollar and a quarter you'd go with family reunion. Well, for a redneck dating app, you can't beat ancestry.com 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenPaladin Posted December 1, 2020 Author Share Posted December 1, 2020 6 hours ago, Weezer said: You may may already be aware of this, but from what I remember of your description of your childhood, I thought you might need to hear this. There is more to a genuine relationship than sex. Good sex can help facilitate the relationship, but don't confuse the feeling you get from good sex with the kind of "love", common interests, aspirations, respect, care and committment, that makes for healthy relationships. The reason I am saying this is because young people at times get sexually involved guickly, and get carried away with the feeling, thinking it is genuine "love", when it really is just great "sexual chemistry". And people who are willing to get sexually involved quickly, may not be ready for a "genuine", long term relationship. And hopefully you are aware of the downsides to quick and easy sex. If you want a list, I can give you one on on P.M. Assuming you eventually want marriage, or long term relationship, give yourself plenty of time. Dont latch onto the first woman (or man?) who gives you a thrill. Get your feet under yourself as an adult in your profession, and have a general feeling that you are headed in the direction you want to go in life. And your partner also. Those seem to be the people who have the best relationships. BEST WISHES! Good points, and sure go ahead I would love to hear more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 22 hours ago, Weezer said: Assuming you eventually want marriage, I can't believe people are doing this still? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 On 11/30/2020 at 8:49 PM, ZenPaladin said: Genuine relationship. Poor Bastard. I'm sorry. May you rest in peace. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenPaladin Posted December 2, 2020 Author Share Posted December 2, 2020 50 minutes ago, Freed said: Poor Bastard. I'm sorry. May you rest in peace. What do you mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted December 2, 2020 Super Moderator Share Posted December 2, 2020 3 hours ago, ZenPaladin said: What do you mean? She means that people who have had bad luck in relationships often lash out and mock those still seeking to get into relationships. They do this as a means of dealing with their own sense of failure. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 On 11/28/2020 at 10:59 PM, Freed said: No. No dates. Bypass that and go straight for the sex. No commitment required. But do it safely of course. Save time, money, and emotional energy. You mean this? --> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ Weezer ◊ Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 11 hours ago, Freed said: I can't believe people are doing this still? 11 hours ago, Freed said: Poor Bastard. I'm sorry. May you rest in peace. It is sad that you have had such bad relationships in life. But it doesn't have to be that way. Respectful, consistant, long term relationships are still the best way to perpetuate the human race. If people would put as much thought and research into how to achieve that, as they do on how to get rich and find the next temporary thrill, the world would be a much better place. And when it comes to sex, in my experience, foreplay and a climax is great---while it lasts, but a genuine, almost spiritual experience that leaves you feeling "connected" to your mate after you leave the bedroom, takes a relationship with someone you "love" (genuinly care about), respect and trust. And that takes time and effort. And that is the kind of long term committed relationship that produces children who feel loved and worthwhile, and have good role models to pattern their life after, thereby perpetuating a healthy society. It is a heck of a lot more important than whether you are Democrat or Republican, or are able to find the next self centered Saturday night thrill. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 8 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said: She means that people who have had bad luck in relationships often lash out and mock those still seeking to get into relationships. They do this as a means of dealing with their own sense of failure. No I've never "Failed" at relationships. I just don't want them. People will just have to accept that other people like to be single. I could easily have a relationship. If I wanted to. But I don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 30 minutes ago, Weezer said: It is sad that you have had such bad relationships in life. But it doesn't have to be that way. Respectful, consistant, long term relationships are still the best way to perpetuate the human race. I've never wanted children. I still don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 1 hour ago, midniterider said: You mean this? --> Well yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freed Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 12 hours ago, ZenPaladin said: What do you mean? Divorce. Kidnap your children. Collect Alimony. Collect Child support. She may not even spend it on your children. Nagging. Emasculating you. Mocking you. Checking out other men. Accuse you of physical assault. Estrogen toxicity. Trust me. I grew up in a home full of women. I've had plenty of women friends. l know what most of them want men for. I know how most women treat men. I'm not trying to be all Woman vs. Man shit. I'm just saying that you're taking a huge risk. Yes and I know men are abusive too. Which is why I CHOOSE to stay single. For his benefit as well as mine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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