What Do You Tell People?

[Guest Emerson]

Have you ever lied about still being a christian? What do you tell people who are interested in "saving souls"?

 

As a college student, I get people walking up to me all the time and telling me about their religion and christianity mostly. One time at work, I lied and said I was a christian to a customer who is a christian.

He said, "you look so happy." He then proceeded to go on and tell me how that made me different from the people there. Um okay, am I supposed to look unhappy at work? No, that would be bad for business. And anyway I choose to be happy without religion.

 

So anyway, I don't want to lie but sometimes I still find myself doing it to fit in in certain places and with people who are religious, like if I can get ahead somewhere then I'll lie about it. And its so easy, people believe me and everything. I know how to lie pretty well and look people in the eye and have them believe me. I guess it wouldn't be hard for me to be an actress. lol.

 

So I want to know your experiences, have you ever lied about still being a christian? What do you tell people when you are confronted about your beliefs? Are you ever "hunted" by certain groups or certain people who are trying to "save" your soul?

[Shadoe]

I tend not to talk about religion with people I don't know. If someone accuses me of being a Christian ("I'm glad you're such a good Christian woman") or asks me if I am one ("Which church do you go to?"), I just tell them I'm not a Christian. If they pester me, I will admit to being a Pagan, but I'm reluctant to admit being Wiccan around here. It's a very christian area and they still burn my kind around here.

 

The closest I've come to lying about it was at big family gatherings where my 82-year-old devoutly-baptist grandmother-in-law was saying a prayer for everyone. I bowed my head and rolled my eyes and thought about other things.

[Ouroboros]

It's a difficult issue.

 

Once we were invited to a family, a friend of my wife from work, and we had dinner and really nice time. During the dinner we got into some talk about school and PE classes and diet and stuff, and of some reason they started to talk about their sons PE teacher, which they said "this awful atheist." It took me by surprise and I never said anything, and afterwards I've been thinking if I should have said something or not, but I'm still not sure. Things like that feels like a threat to me. Like atheists are criminals who should be put in jail. Maybe anti-atheism is the new racism?

[hatepirate]

Maybe anti-atheism is the new racism?

http://tinyurl.com/p6npl

^ Read it and weep. Atheists are the most distrusted minority in the US.

 

Another study was conducted asking parents if they had to hear their child make one of the following confessions:

A) I'm in a gang.

I'm gay.

or C) I'm an atheist.

Which would they dread hearing the most.

You guessed it: C.

[Guest GrewUpFundie]

Have you ever lied about still being a christian? What do you tell people who are interested in "saving souls"?

 

That's a tough question. For me, it depends on who is asking and how they're doing it. If someone that I barely know (or don't know at all) starts aggressively witnessing to me, I have no problem telling them that they're wasting their time, in whatever language is necessary to get the point across.

 

If it's a family member or close friend, I tend to keep my feelings to myself, and if pressed, I generally say that I consider that to be a personal topic and I don't want to talk about it. There are some cases when it's just easier to go along, though; if one of my eighty-something aunts (I have LOTS of them, Shadoe!) tells me in passing that God takes care of us or somesuch, I'm going to smile and nod. There are definitely times to take a stand, but I don't have any desire to hurt my family intentionally.

[willybilly30]

i lied once when i was walking home carrying a pizza. this dude from a nearby church kept witnessing to me and got right in front of me. i finally said im saved maybe ill go to your services tommorow im busy right now. i knew this guy wasnt going to leave me alone till i said what he wanted to hear.

 

and another time i can remember lieng my mom kept bugging me cause im wiccan i said i think the bibles a good book and jesus was a good teacher but gods lead me to another path. (i have no idea why this worked but she hasnt bugged me since.)

 

iv learned how to test people to see if im gonna have to fight if i be open with them. i say im just studying wicca or i like studying diffrent religions. most of my friends could care less and the ones who did care stopped caring. you just got to give it time. i dont usually use the word wicca or pagan in this town.

[Evelyn]

Like I've said in a couple of other posts, I lie to my mom and siblings all the time. And even though it's been over a year since I de-converted, I even lied to a couple of new acquaintences who casually asked me what I was doing for Easter and wouldn't have thought less of me if I had told them I don't go to church.

 

It depends on the situation. With my family, I'll probably never tell. At work, there's a mix of a few fundies, several catholics, and the rest non-religious. What religion a person practices or doesn't practice usually doesn't come up in conversation.

[ShiftyEyes]

Yeah, I doubt there will ever be a time when I can honestly tell my parents that I'm not any sort of Christian anymore. I know it sounds like I just don't have the guts to do it, but I believe that not telling them is the only compassionate thing I can do. But I hate being dishonest, and I try not to lie to anyone else. That doesn't mean I'm going to call up all of my Christian friends and give them a little update on my "spiritual state." Most of them have the vague idea that I was or am questioning the faith, but only those really close to me know just how far those questions have gone. And as far as random people on the campus Quad go (there is always one group or another handing out pamphlets and witnessing), I like engaging them in a little debate if I'm not running too late for class. I haven't met one that could give me a satisfactory answer to my problems with the Bible and Christianity, and the encounter always sharpens my mind abit. Some of them get a little scared when they realize that I know more about their religion than they do (and don't believe it).

 

So yeah, like others I avoid the family and am more willing to talk to strangers or friends.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Emerson,

 

There is an ever-so-slight advantage to being a huge hulk of a man.

 

No one fucks with the guy who has the "Don't Fuck With Me Today" look and the size to back it up.

 

What do I do when the on fire for JeEeeEBus sorts try and get in my face?

 

Just like I do in every other case of people who are not holding me hostage by force of arms, walk the fuck away.

 

My life and time just simply are not worth arguing with the terminally jesus_juiced sorts.

 

Want to discuss politics, religion, important things? All in due time, but not *cold* and not in some "evangelistic" situation, as I could carefuckin'less.

 

Learn to hand off a big old frosty freshly poured mug of Fuck Off And Die to those bothering you and enjoy to watch them boil as you won't rise to their baiting.

 

k, perfesshunal FOAD giver, L

[All Gods Fail]

I don't run around with a bullhorn announcing my atheism, but neither do I deny it. I used to be a sort of quasi -buddhist/agnostic, with heavy tendencies towards secular humanism, but how do you tell people that?

 

The only person I haven't admitted to being an atheist is my sweet old white-haired parents. I think they know, but it might upset them too much if I blurted out "Jesus is a lie!"

 

Other than that, if people ask I tell 'em. Why not? I could care less what the normals think about me.

[Checkmate]

Much like Nivek, I don't have to face this question often. I'm not all that large in size, but I have a "look" that says, "No Trespassing -- Violators Will Be Eaten."

 

Sometimes it is helpful being a mean-spirited asshole. People instinctively search for easier targets than me.

 

Although, I HAVE had to deal with this issue at least twice. Once, I was getting those annoying religious e-mails from a family member. A nice, well-meaning and loving cousin. Up until then I had just been deleting her e-mails unopened because I thought it was easier. But one day I just had enough of the unwanted intrusion and decided to set the record straight. I sent her a simple, POLITE message telling her that I did not believe in Jesus or god, and that any further "uplifting" religious tripe sent to me would be rude. PLEASE STOP IT.

 

She apologized and quit sending me religious spam. (Now if I can only get my annoying, hard-headed mother to listen to reason...! She still thinks I'm going through a phase and will return to the lawd. Bah!)

 

Another time I was caught off guard by meeting a former church associate. It wasn't long before my church attendance was brought up. In a flash I weighed my possible responses, relative to HIS strength/weakness quotient. I KNEW how fragile this guys was, and how UTTERLY dependant upon his "faith" just to get through the day. So I told him the truth, that I no longer believed. He then asked me why not, but I chose to spare his feelings and told him, "You don't want to get into this with me. You REALLY don't." He took the hint and didn't press me for more.

 

I suppose that how you deal with people is largely situational. It depends on you, your audience and the circumstances. I personally prefer to tell everyone that I'm an atheist, but after that it depends on how much of a fight they want to have with me. If they're willing to leave it alone, so will I. If they choose to argue about it, then they'd better prepare for an ass reaming, because I'm not inclined to be gentle.

[Guest Emerson]

All three of you (nivek, All Gods Fail and Mr. Grinch) are hilarious. Or maybe its 'cause 12am over here and anything seems funny with enough caffeine, anyway. I love your posts and your nonsense view of not lying about what you believe. I also respect you for respecting certain people's feelings about the subject.

 

You know what's amazing to me is that atheists are treated as if their bad seeds but its the christians who are doing all the murdering, molesting, abusing their families in our society. Yet society somehow fails to notice this or something. I think that bias is disgusting. If anything, religion is the enemy of mankind and not intellect.

[Thurisaz]

Have you ever lied about still being a christian?

 

Lied? No. When among christians who take their faith very seriously (rarely the case over here ) I tend to not talk about my religious affiliation unless directly asked, that's pretty much all. And if I'm asked in a straightforward way I commonly tell them frankly that I'm a heathen.

 

Of course doing such a thing is probably much easier here in Germany than it is in shrubbenführer's 4th reich...

 

Maybe anti-atheism is the new racism?

 

Judging from all I've heard so far from the former US (now the 4th reich), I'd say "yup". Sadly.

[Amethyst]

I just avoid talking to people about religion. If asked, I just say I'm not religious and leave it at that. If they try and convert me, I say "I don't have time for this" and walk away.

[Lycorth]

Have you ever lied about still being a christian? What do you tell people who are interested in "saving souls"?

 

I still have to maintain a Xian facade in some places. Mainly, it's at home; the parents I don't think would understand my leaving Xianity, even though they don't practice it staunchly. It's a cultural thing in a Polish-American neighborhood, and leaving the cult is tantamount to denying some part of your culture, of who you naturally are. Such a shame that my own family doesn't even know what faith their ancestors originally practiced, and what culture was originally theirs - not this sham religion called Catholicism.

 

If a stranger asks me about my Mjolnir amulet, I tell them what it represents and make no pretenses about my non-xianity. Most friends still don't know, and I'm telling people based on how I think they'll react, and if the mood really strikes me. It's not the end of the world if no one knows what I truly think - there's no Hell for me to burn in if I don't wear my religion on my sleeve.

[Asimov]

I don't run around with a bullhorn announcing my atheism, but neither do I deny it. I used to be a sort of quasi -buddhist/agnostic, with heavy tendencies towards secular humanism, but how do you tell people that?

 

The only person I haven't admitted to being an atheist is my sweet old white-haired parents. I think they know, but it might upset them too much if I blurted out "Jesus is a lie!"

 

Other than that, if people ask I tell 'em. Why not? I could care less what the normals think about me.

 

You never got the bullhorn? I ordered mine....

 

I don't really get asked that question a lot, and I was never a christian so I don't have to deal with it at all.

[LosingMyReligion]

Well, I do lie about it to my mother. I honestly don't think she could take it if I flat out refused her teachings. She still clings strongly to it, and I don't want her to get it in her head that I'm possessed by satan due to my refusal to believe in Bible god...She already thinks it's a bad thing that I'm getting a college education because, "You have to put the lord first..."

I love my mother to death and I'll be a christian for her.

 

As far as the rest of the family and society goes...I am still getting used to being an Ex-Christian and telling people.

Where I live everyone is a christian by freeking default. Some of the biggest sinners are christians down here. The religion itself teaches that you can "sin" all you like, just as long as you make Jesus lord of your life before you die...Sorta like Jeffery Dahmer did. He got saved while in prison now he is in heaven with babble gawd while Ghandi is in hell...

 

Uhm...yeah...

 

Anyway, I'm still lying about being Christian just to keep people off my back.

In person I look like a really good christian boy. I'm a bit of a prep and look 16. People find me easy to approach and assume I'm a christian just because I'm sorta happy and easy going.

Alot of times on campus we have all the evangelist students, and I know the best way to get to class on time is to tell them I'm saved n stuff...

 

Overall, there are two conversations I avoid: Religion and politics. That is the quickest way to fall out with friends and family.

Sure, my family makes me want to wretch when they start talking about Jesus is coming back, everyone is going to hell, and etc, etc...But I just grin, bear, and go along to get along.

[SilentLoner]

I avoid the subject of religion whenever possible, at all costs. When i have to say something, I simply say I'm an athiest, preffereing to avoid the mention of the more pagan-oriented truth.

 

When i first deconverted, i was very nervous about what to say to people. That changed after one class discussion in ninth-grade spanish one day. The teacher, for some reason, was saying how important it was to thank (bible) god for everything and her weekly church routine. Then out of the blue she asks us what our faith is, and she picks me to talk first.

I'm not good at speaking out, particularly due to social anxiety disorder and my nervousness of the subject. If someone else had spoken beofre me, I would probably have been fine. but no. I just blurted out that i was catholic.

I was so angry at myself after that. I mean furious. To this day i regret not saying "athiest."

 

On the positive side, I have never claimed to be xtian again.

[Guest Emerson]

Sometimes its easier just to lie about it to fit in, like with LMR. Honestly, I'm sorry that you have to lie about it LMR. I don't want to pity you or anything so please its not like that but ugh why can't people just accept that we're not monsters, then again I know how things were like as a former xtian.

 

Back in my former life, I wouldn't even read books by the opposition and books of why people were against xtianity, I was too afraid that it would weaken my faith. I'd still lie about it probably in the future, if that's what it takes to fit in especially if there are a lot of xtians. Though for the most part I don't think that I will have to. Although its not too bad in AZ because its not the bible belt although its a republican state for the most part.

 

But yeah it also bugs me that education and knowledge is seen as the great evil. Ugh. Why do people think its bad having a great job and having a great education? I just don't get it. I really don't. I'm sorry for this LMR and I hope you keep going on your path, I can't imagine how rough it must be.

[Amethyst]

Well, there are some relatives I just don't mention my deconversion to. I don't trust them not to preach to me or attempt to reconvert me. And I haven't told my grandmother, but she probably suspects.

 

I don't lie to fit in, though. I guess I'm too used to not fitting in. I seek out groups where people are more open-minded, like science fiction clubs and gaming groups and what not. You're not going to find too many fundy Christians playing Dungeons & Dragons or in groups where people like science fiction & fantasy; most of them have a huge problem with fictional magic.

[Guest Afriend]

I really feel for you guys that have to lie. I am lucky I live in a part of the world where nobody really cares about religion. The only really religous people I know are Jews, and to me it seems like Judaism these days is more about cultural identity, and community then about God.

 

My parents are pretty perceptive, I think they know I don't believe, but we don't discuss it. In fact even when I did beleive we never discussed religion in our family. The whole subject is kind of uncomfortable.

[Guest revpo]

First of all its none of their business.

second if ever asked ,Ibelieve once or twice..are you a christian..no I am universal<they don't know what to say>

third..These christian fundies are getting out of hand more and more yearly...

revpo

[Kurari]

I used to lie about it sometimes, but now I've mastered the ancient art of "Don'tfuckwithme-Fu", so I almost never hear that question.

 

If someone does inquire, I tell them politely that I find that a very personal question and I don't want to answer it. If they ask why, I just reiterate that I consider it to be a private matter. So far, that's been quite enough. I've got the attitude to back it up.

 

There have been a few times I've really WANTED to say something, but decided it wasn't appropriate. I was with some friends one Christmas and we were in a church because they were hosting a concert being put on by some professional carolers, and I'm a sucker for music. It was open for anyone to come and the preacher of this particular church stood up and said some words, thanked us all for coming, and gave a short speech. I listened vaguely and he started saying something to the effect of being diligent of the faith and showing generosity particularly at the time of year to help make our ailing world a better place to live.

 

My very Christian friend sitting next to me, the one whome my friends have begged me not to mention the fact I'm not Christian to, leaned over to me and said imperiously, "See? This is why Christians should be running things!"

 

I stiffened next to her and kept my mouth shut. That was definately not the time or place to be saying anything to the contrary but man, I was very sorely tempted.

[Seth C Triggs]

My very Christian friend sitting next to me, the one whome my friends have begged me not to mention the fact I'm not Christian to, leaned over to me and said imperiously, "See? This is why Christians should be running things!"

 

Heh, for all we know, it could be nice if "Christians" (the ones that actually are into the egilatarian aspects of the Jesus philosophy) were running things.

 

However, in the real world, the most probable outcome is that control-freak fundagelicals will end up running things, and so we'll become another version of Afghanistan.

 

But don't you worry, once one of the more intolerant breeds of 'Christian' steps on her toes, she'll change her tune! You can bank on that-I've seen it happen with some folks in my acquaintance!

 

-Seth

[LosingMyReligion]

The only people I blatantly lie to about my religious convictions are my family members. It was hard enough for my mom to find out about my sexual orientation...But it would be a double whammy for me to tell her that I think the bible is complete and utter bullshit.

So I finesse it to her with, "Right now I am discovering who god is to ME(which is true)...I still believe in the universal truths of the bible, but I am still reconciling it to my life."

 

She's a fundie so she'll believe what she wants to believe. Thankfully I am not an athiest or else she would collapse to the ground.

 

My mom blindly believes in the bullshit, hypocritcal, piece of garbage, book.