A flaw in the deconversion process.

[RealityCheck]

After more than a decade post Christianity, a new reality is setting in.  Many of us tend to leave the faith in an emotionally charged state (and rightly so) and only focus on the reasons Christianity is BS.  However, many (including myself) do not learn how to control emotions, biases, and tendency towards tribalism.  We don't learn how to run everything through a skeptics mind in the same manner as our former faith.  Because of this, we make causes and politics our new religion.

I've run through the gamut of political ideologies since 2012, that was my faith.  The damage is done though, there is no going back and mending the lost bonds to other people.  However now I don't care about such movements anymore, I am now truly free.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

I know where you're coming from.  I never was big on politics, myself; but, for me, science filled that tribalism void for a long time post-deconversion.  I never went so far as scientism, which really is like a faith or religion.  But I was definitely pretty deep into the "If you can't 'prove' it, then it's bullshit" philosophy.  For reasons I won't go into here, it eventually became life-or-death necessary for me to open myself up to the more "spiritual" side of things.  Obviously not the woo kind of spiritual, more the becoming more in touch with myself and harmony in everything kind.  

 

Good to hear from you again; and don't be a stranger.  Okay?

[pantheory]

RealityCheck,

 

For me I guess I never really jumped into religion like a born-again evangelist. When I was a child and teenager I studied religion and prayed like a good Christian. Unfortunately for Christianity I studied "too much" and decided all religions past and present including Christianity,  were all pure BS. It was a eureka moment for me while I was still a teenager. Luckily I carried no spiritual baggage with me other than family members being Christian. I continued going to church with family and friends and enjoyed it, singing etc, and never disliked it to this day. But pure BS is simply BS, no matter how nicely you dress it up IMO.

 

Of course something had to take its place, and for me  that was science to provide explanations. Unfortunately, in time while in college, I also found a lot of BS in science, but agreed with most of it. I have faith in a lot of things but generally have never had blind faith. I think that's the key. Always be somewhat skeptical of all claims. Like the saying goes: believe nothing of what you hear, be skeptical of everything you read, and believe only half of what you see.

 

[TABA]

Hey @RealityCheck, it’s nice to hear from you again! It’s been a while!
 

It’s hard to leave behind a complex belief system like Christianity and replace it with . . . nothing.  Nature abhors a vacuum and it’s common to latch onto some other ideology.  Fanatical Christians often become fanatics of other kinds.  
 

I strongly advise ex-theists to seek out some positive, coherent guidelines for living, to help keep one’s feet on the ground.  Modern Stoicism has become very popular as religion declines.  Aspects of Buddhism - preferably without the metaphysics, the supernatural woo - have been adopted my many apostates with life-changing results.  Such relatively simple but powerful philosophies are far better for human flourishing and mental health than toxic theistic religions.  

[♦ Fuego ♦]

I found a new tribe when I started taking voice lessons and then got pulled into the world of amateur jazz singers. I came into the world of music cold having never studied it, and late in life after deconverting, but found a common love shared with people of very diverse backgrounds and life philosophies. I even watched a young lady deconvert and lose her husband (he rejected her new found sense of freedom and personal power and wanted her to be a submissive nothing) and keep on singing as we gave her support and encouragement. There are some strong political differences, but we don't go there so that we keep the bond of music and family/tribe. That's kind of rare in my experience. When I let the weird shit in the world get to me, I find rage, sorrow, murder, and all kinds of toxic stuff rising in me (and that's kind of the goal of the media these days, because hate makes good ratings). So instead I recognize it and move forward into different ways of making community.

 

I've started learning about mushroom foraging and found some local folks who are kind and happy to teach. I've picked up hammock camping and found social groups that are encouraging to newbies. There are all kinds of interesting things to explore and people to bond with. Dancing is another one that I love, but haven't done for decades. 

 

I hope that you find ways to form bonds with others.