How I Annoy Christians

[RHEMtron]

im not a very serious person. in a discussion/debate, i sometimes will just respond to an illogical, riduculous comment by making an equally, if not, even more retarded comment. i do it just to annoy christians. what i like to say:

 

me: God speaks to me and tells me your beliefs are wrong. the Holy Spirit moves me to show you the light; to free you from this spiritual bondage. follow the writing of Paul no more!!

 

xtian: that is not God speaking to you. that is Satan!!

 

me: no, it is God. now youre going to hell forever. you just commited the unpardonable sin that Jesus spoke of in Matt 12:31!!! the Holy Spirit guides me and you say it is Satan!! blasphemy!!!!

 

so... christians do a lot to annoy us, what do you guys do or say to annoy them?

[Lycorth]

Heh - the only thing I've ever had to do to annoy a Xian is say that I'm not one and/or deny anything about the Xian religion. That alone is enough to wind most of 'em up good

 

And there, I don't even have to try. Just being opposed to their doctrines is plenty.

[white_raven23]

Heh - the only thing I've ever had to do to annoy a Xian is say that I'm not one and/or deny anything about the Xian religion. That alone is enough to wind most of 'em up good

 

And there, I don't even have to try. Just being opposed to their doctrines is plenty.

 

Ditto to that.

 

What is it about that? It really doesn't take much at all.

[Guest Emerson]

yeah xtians always get their religious panties up in a bunch over small things.

[RHEMtron]

yeah xtians always get their religious panties up in a bunch over small things.

seriously... just say Brokeback Mountain and they go off for a while.

[Lycorth]

One of my friends is Xian, and when I revealed my deconversion to her, she was bugged. I almost wanted to try and find her phone number so I could call her and make sure she was ok. She did recover, though, and all is well (now that she's used to my deconversion), but she was really freaked out for a few days.

 

Xians believe their confusing and illogical religion is so necessary to personal well-being that if you so much as tell them you don't believe, they react as if you've decided to have a cup of antifreeze before bed every night.

[xrayman7040]

It was funny a couple of weekends ago a Jahovas Witness came to my door, and I said to myself YESSSSSSS, this is going to be so much fun. In the good old days I would have slammed the door, but now I was ready to talk. The sad part was the fact that when I told this guy I was an Atheist, he just laughed. He didn't try to convert me, or corner me with his religious logic. No matter what I said, he just sort of laughed. It really sucked. I was ready for some serious debate, and he gave me none. He wouldn't let me get under his skin for a second. Are they trained that way?

[AtheistMommy]

im not a very serious person. in a discussion/debate, i sometimes will just respond to an illogical, riduculous comment by making an equally, if not, even more retarded comment. i do it just to annoy christians. what i like to say:

 

me: God speaks to me and tells me your beliefs are wrong. the Holy Spirit moves me to show you the light; to free you from this spiritual bondage. follow the writing of Paul no more!!

 

xtian: that is not God speaking to you. that is Satan!!

 

me: no, it is God. now youre going to hell forever. you just commited the unpardonable sin that Jesus spoke of in Matt 12:31!!! the Holy Spirit guides me and you say it is Satan!! blasphemy!!!!

 

so... christians do a lot to annoy us, what do you guys do or say to annoy them?

 

LOL! I've got one in my class right now. A few days ago he talked smack about "under god" and in school prayer along with the absence of religion being responsible for the lack of good behavior in children now-a-days. I couldn't let that one go ; )

 

Bad thing is he's in both of my classes and is like trying to reason with a two year old. I annoyed him with the whole "morals are subjective and no book is required."

 

He still wants to know what I lable myself. I told him to fuck off!

[ChristiaNazi]

Here are some great resources for Bible topics if you want to engage them in a debate.

 

http://www.evilbible.com/

 

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/index.html

 

Often it's more fun to just toss out something likely to be instantly offensive. Examples:

• There were no other women in Genesis. Did Cain have sex with his mother?
  
• The Bible says Jesus was tempted in all the ways we are. Does this mean he was bisexual?
  

Or go to a Xtian discussion board and post something really funny that's sure to make everyone really guilty if they laugh. Then sit back and watch them rebuke anyone who thinks it's funny.

 

Start a new topic on a discussion board like "When does foreplay with your spouse cross the line and become masturbation?"

[Open_Minded]

so... christians do a lot to annoy us, what do you guys do or say to annoy them?

 

I think ... therefore I annoy the literalists.

[Dhampir]

I tend to ask questions that they can't answer directly, and when they do answer, I restate the same question in a different form.

 

Incidentally, since a lot of the questions I ask can't be answered directly, it's also one of my serious debate tactics.

 

ex: from just last week: me: Why exactly is fornication wrong?

 

otherguy: because god doesn't like fornication; he designed sex to be enjoyed within a marriage.

 

me: I know that, but why is it wrong?

 

otherguy: because when you have sex you are becoming one flesh with another person. How can you just do that with multiple people?

 

me: Okay, so what's wrong with that?

 

And so on for like 2 hours. The guy finally got mad and said I had to be a christian to understand why it was wrong, then we went back to it 10 minutes later because he was frustrated that he couldn't get his point across.

[thunderbolt]

Banter with them back and forth, and when you finally have them in some sort of corner, then suddenly tell them that they are creating a god in their own image. That really does it for the most part, and it's essentially exactly what every Christian sect does with the Bible.

 

[RHEMtron]

Here are some great resources for Bible topics if you want to engage them in a debate.

 

http://www.evilbible.com/

 

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/index.html

 

Often it's more fun to just toss out something likely to be instantly offensive. Examples:

• There were no other women in Genesis. Did Cain have sex with his mother?
  
• The Bible says Jesus was tempted in all the ways we are. Does this mean he was bisexual?
  

Or go to a Xtian discussion board and post something really funny that's sure to make everyone really guilty if they laugh. Then sit back and watch them rebuke anyone who thinks it's funny.

 

Start a new topic on a discussion board like "When does foreplay with your spouse cross the line and become masturbation?"

 

hahaha that's a cool site. thanks. cracked me up

 

 

Banter with them back and forth, and when you finally have them in some sort of corner, then suddenly tell them that they are creating a god in their own image. That really does it for the most part, and it's essentially exactly what every Christian sect does with the Bible.

 

that's a good one too.

[ped]

jesus told me i was aborted twice before recieving this body.... that always does it for me.

[Toxic]

If a Born Again tells me I'll go to hell when I die I reply that I want to go to hell with Jessica Alba/Jenniffer Lopez/Beyonce etc, etc

[RHEMtron]

hell for me is spending my life in eternity with christians kissing god's ass.

[willybilly30]

ask them if they are going to heaven. if they say yes then say good then im going to hell so i wont have to spend eternity with you.

i said that to a fundy trying to witness too me in the mens room at work they got mad and slammed the door and left. it was funny.

[IAm_Lucifer]

im not a very serious person. in a discussion/debate, i sometimes will just respond to an illogical, riduculous comment by making an equally, if not, even more retarded comment. i do it just to annoy christians. what i like to say:

 

me: God speaks to me and tells me your beliefs are wrong. the Holy Spirit moves me to show you the light; to free you from this spiritual bondage. follow the writing of Paul no more!!

 

xtian: that is not God speaking to you. that is Satan!!

 

me: no, it is God. now youre going to hell forever. you just commited the unpardonable sin that Jesus spoke of in Matt 12:31!!! the Holy Spirit guides me and you say it is Satan!! blasphemy!!!!

 

so... christians do a lot to annoy us, what do you guys do or say to annoy them?

 

 

I say the devil talks to me. I tell Christians that I made a deal with him where he is going to let me be in charge of torturing people, I just can't leave, ever. I love their reactions.

[Ryan]

im not a very serious person. in a discussion/debate, i sometimes will just respond to an illogical, riduculous comment by making an equally, if not, even more retarded comment. i do it just to annoy christians. what i like to say:

 

me: God speaks to me and tells me your beliefs are wrong. the Holy Spirit moves me to show you the light; to free you from this spiritual bondage. follow the writing of Paul no more!!

 

xtian: that is not God speaking to you. that is Satan!!

 

me: no, it is God. now youre going to hell forever. you just commited the unpardonable sin that Jesus spoke of in Matt 12:31!!! the Holy Spirit guides me and you say it is Satan!! blasphemy!!!!

 

so... christians do a lot to annoy us, what do you guys do or say to annoy them?

 

I know what you mean. I really don't take myself too seriously, so I never do very well in a debate. If I did talk to more fundies, I'm sure I would adopt a similar approach. If you can't have fun by making fundies uncomfortable, then the terrorists have won, my friend.

[Purple]

so... christians do a lot to annoy us, what do you guys do or say to annoy them?

 

I am not sure I have posted this here before, but this was fun...

 

This is from a chat room conversation, my comments ON that conversation are going to be in purple, the room actions shuold be in grey. Isaiah is someone looking to share, and I am Agelus, (Which would read Angelus, but the N isn't coping)

 

8Isaiah47161 has joined the conversation.

 

Ągelus : Hi Isaiah

 

Ągelus : how are you this evening

 

8You are no longer marked as being away.

 

Isaiah47161 : Does anybody feel depressed, lonely, frustrated? I can help you. Talk to me privately.

 

 

Now okay Isaiah probably didn't think this was rude, but really it is. They enter a room, the room host greets them politely, they over look them and address the room basically saying they will not be talking in the chat room.

Think about it, would anyone ever do this in person? Walk into a room, ignore a hostess and talk over her head to the whole room? If someone did everyone would think them a cad, and any group or organisation they represented would be shamed by such rude behavior, not to mention their mother.

 

Ągelus : que?

 

Ągelus : so you are not going to talk in room?

 

Ągelus : and how can you help? are you a doctor?

 

§ãM_HÄÏñ : ohhh he's a shrink

 

Okay, I admit it. I cannot speak for §ãM_HÄÏñ, but I knew this was a Christian and not a doctor. I cannot think of any other group that would go out, not just looking for converts, but go out looking for the weak and hurting.

 

Isaiah47161 : Have you ever been introduced to the Lord Jesus Christ?

 

Ągelus : oh

 

 

 

Yes I have, he was my imaginary friend for ten years. So, Isaiah you are going to replace depression with delusion, oh yeah that'll help... not.

 

Ągelus : before you "share" here in room or privately read this

 

Ągelus : http://groups.msn.com/4Rules

 

Ągelus : let me know when you have finished please

 

Isaiah47161 : I have finished.

 

Uh huh suuuuuuure he has. All four rules took him less then a minute, less then half a minute to read. That's some speed reading course.

 

Ągelus : well you read quickly are you willing to abide by the 4 rules?

 

No responce for a little longer than is normal.

 

Ągelus : well Isaiah?

 

Isaiah47161 : The only rules I abide by are the Lord Jesus Christ's. He provides freedom, joy, and peace everlasting.

 

He must be a joy to play Monopoly with. :: rolls eyes:::

 

Isaiah47161 : Is that opposing the rules?

 

Ągelus : you are in a chat room owned and ran by my Erus, I am sure you abide by the laws of the country you live in and the rules of other social groups

 

Ągelus : well if you had read them you would know

 

Ągelus : now did you actaully read all 4 rules in the link provided?

 

Ągelus : well Isaiah?

 

Isaiah47161 : Am I violating the rules? I'm offering the Lord Jesus Christ here. Nobody can enter into the heavens without the Lord Jesus.

 

Isaiah47161 : No.

 

Ągelus : well appaerntly you are a liar

 

Ągelus : which would be violating your "Lords" rules if I am not mistaken

 

Isaiah47161 : Am I violating them?

 

Yes, Isaiah you are in violation of your "Lords" rules. You lied, you said you had read the rules, and you had not. Now Isaiah who according to your "Lord" is the father of all lies?

 

Ągelus : I did not say you violated the rooms rules I said you violated the rules of the Lord you claim

 

Ągelus : I asked previously for you to let me know when you were finsihed reading the rules

 

Ągelus : you said you were

 

Ągelus : but you have shown now that you did not read them

 

Ągelus : they are only 4 rules, most chat rooms have rules

 

Isaiah47161 : My fault.

 

Your fault, your "sin" your rudeness. I realise according to your faith you are forgiven, but before you go uot selling it, maybe you should learn to be a little more respectful of your fellowman... huh.. maybe?

 

Ągelus : if you are too arrogant to even read the rules I ask you to jsut leave

 

8Isaiah47161 has left the conversation.

 

Wow that kind of says it all.

 

I cannot say what Isaiah thought he was going to find in a vampire chat room. Bunch of depressed teenagers? It seems though he was not here to help, but to puff up his own ego.

 

Once again I find I do not have to kick out an Christian trying to evangelize, once shown a mirror to their own behavior they leave of their own accord.

 

 

TTFN everyone, have a spiffy day.

 

This can all be found here http://groups.msn.com/4Rules/wallofshame.m...552807257808473

[Lycorth]

Heh - those fire-in-the-tum-tum-for-Jeezus™ Xians are ever a source of annoyance. Even when I was Xian, I had the good manners not to parade my religion around and shove it in people's faces.

[fallenleaf]

 

Uh huh suuuuuuure he has. All four rules took him less then a minute, less then half a minute to read. That's some speed reading course.

 

Even more amazing when you see that the rules are on four different pages and are completely unreadable with that background and the colors.

[Purple]

 

Uh huh suuuuuuure he has. All four rules took him less then a minute, less then half a minute to read. That's some speed reading course.

 

Even more amazing when you see that the rules are on four different pages and are completely unreadable with that background and the colors.

 

 

I did them on 4 pages on purpose, so I could drop one at a time and talk about it. The background is purple, and the font white and black and is completely readalbe for anyone else that has seen it, including several people here.

[Amethyst]

Telling them that you think their religion is just a 2,000 year-old myth usually does the trick.

 

http://groups.msn.com/4Rules/rule1.msnw

 

Okay, sometimes the first letters do overlap the black circle thingies. You might want to move them over just a tad to the right.

[fallenleaf]

I did them on 4 pages on purpose, so I could drop one at a time and talk about it. The background is purple, and the font white and black and is completely readalbe for anyone else that has seen it, including several people here.

 

It was the third time I loaded the page before I saw the purple thing -- I have no idea what caused that -- and without it there are mostly black rules on a black, seizure causing, drop. But even with the purple backdrop, I didn't see it as very readable. It was difficult and frustrating.

 

Of course, I have a different rule of thumb than many people... like, I shouldn't have to scroll to read less than half a dozen sentences... and other things. But it's me.

 

I don't even have a webpage to speak of these days so I suppose I shouldn't talk.