Cut and Paste from my post with some elaboration......
So about two months ago I told my wife that I was having trouble believing that there was a god . Not having done any research or thought out the best way to do it, I butchered my chance and I think the shock put her in what I think is denial since I told her I would do some research and she the topic has been non existent in the house since then...until last night. I chose to act like a skeptic so my coming out could be padded by my actions up until then. I would walk my talk not go to church and pray and then say I dont believe. This would be purely "he doesnt pray because........"
Well last night she FINALLY asked why I didn't pray with the kids. I mumbled that I thought it didn't work. Then I said to hell withi it and said that I thought all the OT stories were hogwash. A 100 year old man, a bronze age boat, dinosaurs that vanished in 6000 years, a cosmos that was thrown together in 6 days in its current state. She cried and it was tough. She said that this was 2 months ago all over again (the first time I said i didnt believe). THis time it sunk in and it MADE AN IMPACT. It is tempting to fake it when u see ur wife hurt like that.but would have to die and people thought I was a Xi'an. I want to be remembered as a free thinker who questioned everything. But her conversation to me has been limited she even started reading the bible and told me that I'm not the man she married which is sad but true. She said I came off like robot with no emotion. The thing I said that did go well was " I can't stand the thought of putting u and the kids in second place to something I can't even see and feel so I'm out kinda to my wife I wanted to limit the extent of damage but I wanted to put my disbelief on the table"
The next morning she probably said 5 words to me. She offered to go and buy some books on the topic but I dont want to hear beating around the bush answers that ultimately land you at "just have faith". Another thing that came up in our serious conversation was me saying "I wouldnt dare open my mouth about it if I thought I was wrong. I am where I stand because Ive seen the facts" so she wants me to go public with it. I think she says this out of anger and disbelief she felt unequipped to answer my questions. i hate to see her brainwashed like this. I thougtht that the hard part would be telling her but now that she knows its tough to know the next move. I'll just take it day by day.