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WHY!!?!?!?!

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Tension In My Mixed Marriage

I came out to my wife as an atheist a while ago. Shortly after she was accepting of it but she was undoubtedly very hurt by this. She was expressing frustration in that she didn't have the answers to questions that I was asking but I wont seek the help from people that have the answers. This is frustrating to me that she can live in ignorance of anything that is so important.   To make matters worse, a few months ago, I said that we would no longer tithe with my income. We would only use hers.

roadrunner

roadrunner

Back In Church

So I'm back in a new church now (for my family's sake; I've explained this i the past) but its different. I have a new identity. Im the thinker/doubter. I enjoy this role. While I havent said Im an atheist ( yeah I flaked out.....but everyone was so happy to see us and they assumed we were saved and we all played along) , I have voiced that I have serious doubts. I dont bite my tongue anymore. If something sounds wrong or stupid i speak up and they seem to encourage it. (WHAT?!?!!) Being back in

roadrunner

roadrunner

Secret Mission

This may sound silly but now its not so much I do things to keep peace as much as I find myself now 'collecting data'. Seeing different churches how people act is anybody actually thinking, how twisted was the sermon, was he accurate with his history, who is clapping, what kind of car does the pastor have, is that guy over there an atheist, These sort of things go through my head and at this point and I enjoy it. Also not caring anymore since we moved churches I can say whatever. And I'm not afr

roadrunner

roadrunner

Thrown Under The Bus

So you know my mom wife sister, father in law and brother and a few friends know I don't believe anymore. Otherwise I'm relatively quiet about nonbelief. About a month ago during a small family cookout my wife said "Can we go ahead and bless the food" and looked at me. I said grace and after everybody left I told her how insulting I thought that was for her to bring me back in their invisible friend game. She claims that she was just hungry and lord knows you can't eat until the food is blessed.

roadrunner

roadrunner

Life As A Non Believer

Today I was flagged down while walking through a strip mall by a homely old lady. At first I thought it was a request for money and I got excited because I never have cash but I had cash today. When I looked closer the lady had a limp and a lazy eye and she didn't want any money. I already have a soft spot for the handicapped but she asked me to help move her mom from the car to a wheelchair since she couldn't lift her. I love helping out strangers and seeing that she was handicapped I didn't he

roadrunner

roadrunner

Church Experiences Now

So I still go church just to keep the peace. My wife is on me like a hawk watching as I don't bow before eating or go to bed. To make matters worse in church we are going through Abraham's life and we made it to Lot. Most atheists know that anyone who questions yahweh's moral compass will fall off the bandwagon at Lots story. We did get a brief touch on how Lot, the saved man, offered his daughters to a mob of heathens. To make matters worse I accidentally laughed uncontrollbly when Lots wife w

roadrunner

roadrunner

4 Months After The Bomb Was Dropped On My Wife

Ive been really open with everything about my journey but I rarely emphasize the internal struggle aspect of the situation. Not with belief (of course not) but with problem of how to proceed from here. Ive never been so torn about anything. Having to admit to my family is going to be devastating. Im not so much worried about my immediate family. My sister is mindlessly trying to persuade me on basis of her experiences. My mom is devout but very soft spoken and my dad is an atheist. He fits just

roadrunner

roadrunner

2 Weeks Out Of The Closet

2 weeks out of this thing. My sister now knows about my disbelief. My wife an sister are thick as thieves. So We went to visit not long ago and one night when there was just the three of us they inquired about my skepticism. They actually spent more time wanting to talk and tell me their testimonies rather than listening to me which is pretty annoying when you've been on that side of the argument all your life. No one cares why i think what i think. And when their little arguments dont want the

roadrunner

roadrunner

So To Get It All Out We Are Writing Letters

Its kinda backwards but mu coming out brought up a lot of questions for her. Some of which would have been answered had I done this sooner. I threw this together and its what I gave her.   I am not a writer, I have always been more a speaker so I am sure I will struggle through this letter. Though I am not quite sure of the date (we'll say 2009 just to throw something out there) I started watching a lot of online learning videos during my downtime at work. These videos I found fun and edu

roadrunner

roadrunner

Confused As To Where To Go

SO I thought that life would get easier once I told my wife I no long was a believer. I realized then that the situation was now MORE COMPLICATED. I do feel a weight was lifted from my shoulders but now I have this secret which was never my intent. I have removed my religion from facebook so new friends wont see me as xian. I did delete the "Roadrunner changed his religios beliefs" post that popped up. becuase that was too out there. I have to decide which family to tell, when to tell them, ho

roadrunner

roadrunner

Told Her Friday!

Cut and Paste from my post with some elaboration......   So about two months ago I told my wife that I was having trouble believing that there was a god . Not having done any research or thought out the best way to do it, I butchered my chance and I think the shock put her in what I think is denial since I told her I would do some research and she the topic has been non existent in the house since then...until last night. I chose to act like a skeptic so my coming out could be padded by my act

roadrunner

roadrunner

Slowly Coming Out Of My Shell

I like many others have built up a foundation based on Christianity and now Im having to slowly disassemble it all alone (in solitude unknown to anyone other than to my wife who thinks I am just more vocal with emotion now and just shooting from the hip without thinking when i say genesis is not true).   I dropped a bomb on my wife a while back that put her in show. The story is on here somewhere. I think it was a punch in the face and now a stab in the heart. I say that becuase it seems that

roadrunner

roadrunner

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