Ive been really open with everything about my journey but I rarely emphasize the internal struggle aspect of the situation. Not with belief (of course not) but with problem of how to proceed from here. Ive never been so torn about anything. Having to admit to my family is going to be devastating. Im not so much worried about my immediate family. My sister is mindlessly trying to persuade me on basis of her experiences. My mom is devout but very soft spoken and my dad is an atheist. He fits just about all the criteria we were taught in church but he never drank and he didnt abuse us. Im worried about the in-laws. My christlike character is what my father in-law (who i respect so much) saw in me that made him comfortable when I asked for his daughter's hand in marriage. Hes very religious (he's calmed down a little since he's gotten older) but still very studious in the "word". I dont wish this predicament on anyone. Having to go through it alone is probably the toughest part. Even though I have some friends who are close I dont know that I want to share it with them yet. I certainly dont want to go public (yet). I am constructing a facebook post just in case i get stuck in the house while its burning down and I need to be remembered for something.